sometimes i wish my life was like this. just having basically no shit and no worries.

Met her on here. She was 19, I was 21. Said she liked my sense of humor. We started talking every night. Calls went from one hour to six. She'd fall asleep on VC, say it made her feel safe hearing me breathe.

I called her babe after two months. She said no one ever made her feel this seen. I gave her my Steam password, my Netflix, my fucking Spotify. I sent her UberEats when she was sick. Stayed up late helping her with essays I didn't understand. She told me she'd never been able to trust a guy before me.

She was broke, depressed, and stuck in a shitty house with a stepdad who hated her. Obviously she had a lot of trauma, maybe she had BPD who knows. I offered to pay for her train ticket to visit. She cried when it arrived. Said it was the nicest thing anyone's ever done. I shaved. Cleaned my whole room. Bought candles and snacks I knew she liked. She showed up in an oversized hoodie and smiled like she'd known me her whole life.

We didn't even have sex that night. We just held each other. She traced circles on my chest until I fell asleep. Woke up to her in my hoodie cooking. Said I was the only guy she felt "safe" with.

For 10 months it was perfect. Morning good mornings. Nighttime I love yous. Shared playlists. Photos of food. Inside jokes. Her name lit up on my phone and everything else faded. I wrote poems about her. I daydreamed about a tiny apartment, her in my hoodie on my couch, waking up together every morning until we died.

Then the signs came.