I'm miserable but what's working in some shit deadend job gonna do for me? I'd be even worse...alone still. This is as good as it gets for my life sadly. I'll never have a relationship because women expect a man to be doing a good career in his 30s.

I don't want a relationship anymore, I don't feel like I could offer anything to a girl other guys can. Also it would take so much of time to keep in contact with her and to spend time with her, time I already don't have. It is all pointless, I know even if I get to talk with a girl somehow and she would like me I would simply get ghosted or she would replace me with someone better. Also all the women are huge normalfags, I can't connect with them at all. I need someone who has a broken mind like me and who is weird. And they are all whores anyways who had sex with countless other guys while I am a khhv.
I think staying alone and wasting my life like that is the only thing I can do.