Title. My life has gone completely to shit in the past few years. I developed severe OCD, my bipolar disorder got worse, my only girlfriend I ever had cheated on me and left me, I’ve had zero luck with any other girl, I have no friends, the ONE date I finally got went nowhere and she lost all interest in me after seeing me in person (despite being super into me over text), etc.

I’m so exhausted from the constant loneliness, intrusive thoughts, mood swings, compulsive rituals, etc and I just want it all to end. I’m not trying to trauma dump but I have nobody to talk to. I take like 5 antidepressant/anti psychotic pills every day and it dosent really help.

I’ve completely given up on working towards my future. I started smoking and drinking again, I’m about to quit my job by stop showing up completely, and I’m debating just dropping out of school. I bought a bottle of sodium nitrite that supposedly makes your death relatively quick and painless besides throwing up, but I’m deathly afraid, but I know it’s my only option.

What do I do? How do I grow the balls to just finish it?

How do I cope with the fact that I’ll never have a loving, loyal girlfriend

Title. I’ve been talking to a girl for about a month, and she was obviously interested in me. We planned many dates out, talked on call, sent Instagram reels to each other, etc.

We went on our first date on Monday, and it went well. She broke the touch barrier with me, and even hinted that we should go to the beach together in the future. However, at the end of the night I gave her a hug after walking her to her car, and I tried to hold her hand but she pulled away. She texted me when she got home saying she got home safe, and we talked a little more the next few days. However after I suggested another date, she told me she would rather be friends.

I’m genuinely confused, as she did try to touch my hand earlier in the date, and she broke the touch barrier by grabbing my arm a few times, but she seemed to lose interest by the end of the date.

I’m not sure where I went wrong, but is there any way of saving this? I genuinely really liked this girl a lot, and I think I messed up by not looking my best during the date (mainly I had a mustache, but I decided to shave it after since I figured that may have been a reason she didn’t seem interested in me anymore)

I’m thinking of giving her a week and maybe reaching out to her again and explaining I was a bit distracted during our date and may have not given off a good first impression, and asking if she would like to try again. Thoughts? I would do anything to get another chance with her again.