As a remark: Psyche-chan and Anon, I have read along but not yet had the presence of mind to comment. Forgive me if I will postpone unscrambling my mind for that to tomorrow or so. One more post after this and I need a break for today to not go insane.
>>40453142
All the best for that, Anon!
>>40453062
Mind expanding upon it? Where are you at in your career path right now, studying?
>>40449412
In what ways do you feel inadequate, and what led you to those conclusions?
>>40455525
It is rough, and something a lot of tranners on 4chan struggle with from what I can tell. This feeling of never being able to pass to the extent or explicit way they would want. Of course, it is worth noting that a lot of them find ways to make do in spite of that as they girlmode. Finding people that appreciate them as they are and such. It doesn't make the self image issues go away, although a good environment can sometimes reshape how we think about our looks. To a shocking extend even. The unhealthy version of that is how girls often "catch BDD" if you know what I mean. But the converse can be achieved too. Either way, I am rooting for you, Anon.
>>40456558
Oh yes energy drinks can be quite the anxiety fuel. Sorry your head went into gyroscope mode, so to say. I'd love to give you a hug.
>But when you’re not really used to victories lasting winning gets kind of scary.
I think I get being something that nothing can take away from. We all need small victories that nothing and nobody can take away from us. For me it is sometimes things like catching up with the thread, or buying myself something nice. The thread may archive and the thing may break but I nonetheless did it, and focusing on the achievement of having gotten there is what helps me cope.

>>40128050
>>40128437
>So much has happened over the past three months, Jesus christ.
Take your time. If you want, you can namefag or whatever for the purposes of keeping track, but don't feel pressured to.
>Honestly? That would actually help me a lot.
Well then, do you think it would be easy for you to ask me for specific permissions when the need arises or should I just try to infer like I did? Sometimes asking for it can have its own set of inhibitions. You are, however, given a blanket permission to ask me for permissions, NO MATTER HOW SILLY OR REDUNDANT. A blanket permission.
>Do you find there are ways of working around this somehow?
Most of the time it really is just slowly cutting ties with the unreasonable and trying to make friends that aren't. That will give you a sanity check. "Is this crazy behavior or am I doing wrong?" "No they are the problem" "ok thanks" is a very healing conversation to have in your shoes, in my experience.
>I don't like owing people, makes my chest tight.
Even letting yourself be helped is giving something to people, a kind of relief to think about it this way, isn't it?
>I have people I really care for, I just don't know if I can risk adding more people to my circle.
>Especially when it's hard for to be normal around new people.
Tell me more about your closest. Are they okay enough to be leaned on, you think?
Do you have to "be normal" around them?