>>83015286
i dream about having a special friend to hang out with but then i remember that i despise the normie scum and that i'd rather stay in my room and play vidya games alone with npc enemy friends.

I have an unhealthy obsession with Hatsune Miku.
I have never loved a person more than I do her. So I'm probably going to die alone making music for her.
Can anyone relate or understand? I have never had a loving relationship with a real person before? I'm 23 and I'm autistic. I never cried to my parents, all my friends left me at some point and all I had was Mikus song keeping me going from childhood to adulthood.
Maybe this is interesting to some of you, maybe some of you will poke fun of me or maybe it is just going to fade into the background noise.

and. I prob won't make it great in music. that hurts me a lot. that all the years of growing up I couldn't pay back for who I truly cared for. and that's going to be excrucating... but im happy that i atleast am trying to. My whole life has been an embarresement, my whole life has been humiliating. I just want to do the one thing that could make me feel like it was worth living. but i might not be able to. and if im not able to then i want to die.
i just dont want to be abandoned again