>>535394330
>I feel like I'm trash and wasting the time of nine other people
>I really don't enjoy directly wasting someones time
>that every mistake I make is magnified 100-fold (JNG)
Nobody is saying this but you, and your funny head making things up. And if people are, they're simply miserable and just trying to pull you down to their level. The game is not that serious, and you shouldn't derive your self worth from it.
People are already wasting their time the moment they queue for ranked or any mode of the vidya game.
You're silver, you're going to be bad. You're playing with other silvers, they're also going to be bad. Nobody gets good at this game until Challenger, even then, they're also bad when compared against each other.
Allow yourself to fail, show yourself some compassion, and be kinder to yourself or else.