>>40737580
>>40737612
>>40737629
>My current environment is safe
That is perfect, and I am glad your best friend helped you out like this. What about the town you live in? Do you generally feel safe there? I ask cause one thing to try is of course to try and meet new people and I wanna make sure that is feasible.
>I often choose someone I think is better than me
Okay, let's start with an exercise. Name admirable traits in other people that you gravitate towards. What I want us to do is examine them, realize a lot of those are learnable skills, and then incorporate some of them into you. You can make things you love about others a permanent fixture of your own person. Become a monument to that which you value in the world. We can't all be surgeons but we can all learn to be kinder, or more patient. We can learn to be silly. You get it.
>Can you go into more detail about this please?
One simple example which may not apply to you is self denial. "I can't go to this party I was invited to, I will just bring the mood down". Sometimes we start imagining what people MIGHT think of us, projecting our own hatred. That can poison our relationships in ways outside the control of the others. We treat imaginary conversations like real ones. That is delulu default human being behavior we kinda have to actively fight.
>she just left me feeling ashamed and diminished
Some therapists really are not cut out for their job, christ. I am sorry.
>The other seemed to not hate me and it made me feel confused
This is very interesting. Fear of the unknown sort of deal? You shouldn't hate yourself for it. It is normal to flee from discomfort. Sadly, sometimes, discomfort is a compass. Brains hate change. Sometimes maximizing discomfort within manageable parameters is important.. and it can help a lot to hear that from someone else, I find.
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>>40738529
>The Anxiety Workbook by Bourne. You can find the pdf for free online.
Ohh, that you so much, Santino! I gotta add it to the resources.
