>>82322659
can you tell me how to feel things other than anguish, dread, and the desire for execution

>>82249391
if make any friends they always hate me because im worthless and then i wana die even more so i go away and disappear and they dont miss me

why am i only able to feel constant dread and desire for execution?
is it my bpd?

i hate myself
im not worth caring about
everynyan is right to hate me and ignore me because im worthless
why cant i get the courage to kill myself
why cant i bring myself to buy a gun and shoot myself when this is everyday of my life and i hate every second of it