>>713145937
>Once you experience it with a person who you love and desire, and who loves and desires you, it's just different
Fixed that for you. Losing my virginity through a transaction was probably the biggest disappointment in my life. It wasn't anywhere as good as masturbation and I was down 60 bucks too. I chased the dragon for a while because I couldn't understand why people hyped sex up so much, until I realized this was all coming from the perspective of people who were actually normal and had sex with a girl who genuinely wanted to have sex with them.
Just to be clear, this isn't some doomer shit. I acknowledge that I'm not like "normal" guys, that I'm a late bloomer. I'm not going to downplay their achievement however, they did what they had to do to form a connection with someone and find love, and I haven't lifted a finger, so it's only natural I don't have it. That doesn't mean I've given up, though. Maybe I spent my early twenties thinking I'm worthless and will never get to stick my dick in a girl who likes me, but I grew tired of this mindset a while back. The only person holding me back is myself, and god damn it, I'm gonna have sex with a girl who actually wants to have sex with me one day.