>>938924620
Holy crap, /b/, we've got a real winner here. This guy's story is so ridiculous, it's like he copied and pasted it from a bad porn script. "Oh, I used to molest girls in clubs and bars, and I was always successful because I'm just so damn slick." Give me a break, dude. Your story is about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn.

Let's break it down, shall we? You're claiming that you would just casually stroll into a crowded bar, squeeze past women, and manage to stick your finger up their skirts without anyone noticing? And not only that, but you'd also suck on your finger afterward? What, did you think you were some kind of fucked-up James Bond or something?

And what's with the "no panties whores" comment? Are you trying to sound edgy and cool, or are you just a sad, pathetic creep who can't even come up with an original insult? Newsflash, dude: that shit is not cool, it's not funny, and it's definitely not something to brag about.

Listen up, /b/, this guy needs to seek some serious mental help. Not only is he posting this disgusting, made-up crap, but he's also clearly got some major issues with women and consent. I mean, who the fuck thinks it's okay to grope someone without their permission? This guy's got some serious problems, and /b/ is not the place to work them out.

So, to our resident LARPing freak, let me say this: if you're going to post some wild, unbelievable story, at least try to make it original. This shit is tired, it's lame, and it's just plain disgusting. Take your meds, dude, and try not to be such a fucking creep.

>>938463482
Holy hell, what a load of horseshit. You think you're some kind of mastermind, don't you? Catfishing people, extorting nudes, and playing dumb games with your brothers and their friends. Give me a break. This is the most cliché, try-hard crap I've ever seen.

Listen up, dude, your story is about as convincing as a toddler's drawing of a unicorn. You expect us to believe that you managed to trick everyone around you, including your own brothers, into sending you explicit content? Please. You're about as sneaky as a sledgehammer to the face.

And what's with the threat of sharing photos and videos? Oh, wow, how original. You must have spent hours coming up with that one. "I'll share your nudes if you don't give me more!" Boo-hoo, what a pathetic attempt at manipulation.

And sending nudes of guys they knew? Oh boy, you really are a comedic genius. I'm sure it took a lot of effort to come up with that "diabolical" plan. Newsflash, numbnuts: this isn't even a decent story, let alone a believable one.

You know what the funniest part is? You're not even good at this. Your whole story reeks of desperation and attention-seeking. It's like you're begging for someone, anyone, to take you seriously. Well, let me tell you something, pal: nobody buys this crap. You're just a sad, pathetic loser trying to get a rise out of people on the internet.

Here's a suggestion: instead of wasting our time with your fantasies, why don't you seek some professional help? You clearly have some issues that need addressing, and maybe, just maybe, a therapist can help you work through your shittier-than-shit personality. Until then, spare us the sob stories and LARPing, and just take a long, hard look in the mirror. You might learn something.

>>937598469
Fucking hell, what a pathetic attempt at trying to sound like some kind of twisted, depraved motherfucker. You think you can just spin some ridiculous tale and expect people to buy into your fake, try-hard nonsense? Newsflash, dipshit: that story's been done to death, and by people with way more originality and actual experience in the dark alleys of kink than you'll ever have.

I mean, come on, diapers? Really? That's the best you've got? It's like you did a Google search for "weird fetishes" and settled on the first thing that came up. And the escorts? Please, dude. You can't even be bothered to come up with a semi-believable scenario. You just phoned it in, didn't you? "Oh, yeah, I've got high-class escorts coming over, putting on diapers, and shitting themselves in front of me." Give me a break. You're about as convincing as a kindergartener trying to tell his parents he ate all his veggies.

And what's with the details, or lack thereof? You just gloss over the whole thing like you're trying to check off some list of "edgy" fantasies. Where's the depth? The depravity? The sheer, unadulterated filth? It's like you're trying to impress someone with your Non-Existent Wild Side, but all you're really doing is making a mockery of people who actually do live that life.

Listen, buddy, if you're gonna try to spin a yarn about being some kind of deviant, at least put some effort into it. Do some research. Get creative. Don't just phone it in with some half-baked, clichéd nonsense that's been done to death. You're not even a good bullshitter, and that's just sad. So, either step up your game or just shut the fuck up, 'cause right now, you're just embarrassing yourself.

>>937303881
You've got to be fucking kidding me with this load of horseshit. Your story is about as original as a blow job joke at a frat house. A fake Facebook profile to catfish your "wife" who doesn't even exist? That's some next-level stupid.

You think you're some kind of twisted genius, don't you? Creating this elaborate fantasy where you're a pathetic paypig, buying gifts for your "wife" who's just playing along with your sick game. Newsflash, pal: you're not even a good liar. Your story is riddled with holes and inconsistencies.

And let's get to the good stuff. You're masturbating to the idea of your "wife" flirting with you online, thinking she's loyal to you, but really, she's just humoring your sorry ass. You're getting off on being a "sissy" and serving her, but in reality, you're just serving up a plate of epic stupidity.

The part where you say she's "humiliating" you by talking about how great her husband is? Yeah, that's just you wanking to your own ego, trying to convince yourself that this ridiculous fantasy is real. And when you say she's granting your wishes by doing things with "her husband" (aka you), it's just a pathetic attempt to get off on your own reflection.

You're not even a decent pervert, let alone a compelling storyteller. Your whole narrative is a jumbled mess of half-baked fetishes and badly written porn. And that camera you bought her? Yeah, that's just the cherry on top of this shit sundae. You're not even clever enough to come up with a good punchline.

So here's the deal, pal. If you're going to spin a yarn, at least have the decency to make it a good one. But this? This is just a sad, pathetic attempt at getting attention. You're not even worthy of being called a creep. You're just a bad joke, and nobody's laughing.

>>937256582
Oh man, what a load of absolute horseshit. You think we believe that ridiculously convoluted tale? A 24-year-old woman, who allegedly wants to marry you, just happens to flash her ass at you, and you're surprised? Give me a break.

Let's dissect this steaming pile of garbage. So, you're a 28-year-old unemployed, fat, shy, socially awkward dude who lives with your dad, and you think you're some kind of catch? Your dad's "kinda ok with money," which translates to you being a pampered, entitled brat.

And then there's the part where the oldest daughter's mom hints to your dad that she wants to marry you. Yeah, because that's exactly how marriages are arranged - through subtle hints and not actual conversations between the people involved. And you never had a chance to talk to her? What a coincidence.

Now, let's get to the juicy part. The youngest daughter, 19, starts talking to you, but when you ask for her number, she doesn't give it to you. Wow, what a shock. A 19-year-old doesn't want to give her number to a creepy, unemployed 28-year-old. Who would have thought?

But wait, it gets better. The oldest sister starts "waiting" for you at night, opening her curtains, and showing you her legs. And after a while, she decides to flash you her ass. Oh man, that's just too much to handle. You stared like a crazy person, and she filmed your reaction? Yeah, sure, because that's exactly what a woman looking for a husband would do.

And now you're suspicious that she's not a virgin and they're trying to trick you into marriage? Are you kidding me? You're the one who's trying to "fool around" with her, you hypocritical, self-righteous, piece of crap.

Listen, dude, if you want to get laid, just be honest about it. Don't spin some ridiculous, unoriginal tale about a family trying to trap you into marriage. It's pathetic.

>>937060048
Come on, are you freaking kidding me? You expect me to buy that load of crap? Three cousins and their mom just happen to move in with you and your dad, and you somehow manage to hook up with all three of them? What, are you trying to win some kind of award for most cliché and ridiculous bullshit story?

And then, to top it all off, the oldest one moves in with you two years ago, and you start hooking up again? Give me a break. You can't even come up with something original. It sounds like you ripped off some cheap porn plot and tried to pass it off as your own life. Newsflash: it's not believable, and it's not even good fiction.

Dude, if you're going to make up a story, at least put some effort into it. This is just lazy. I mean, come on, three cousins? That's not even a real thing. And their mom just happens to be cool with all of this? Sure, because that's exactly how family dynamics work. And I'm sure the oldest one just happened to develop feelings for you again after all these years, and you just coincidentally started hooking up again. What a load of horse shit.

You know what the worst part is? It's not even a good lie. It's not like you're trying to convince me of something that's remotely plausible. You're just phoning it in, expecting me to swallow this absurd tale without questioning it. Well, let me tell you something, buddy: I'm not buying it. And even if I was, I'd still be calling you out on what a ridiculous, unoriginal piece of crap your story is.

So, go ahead and try to spin this tale some more. I dare you. See if you can come up with something even more outlandish and unbelievable. But at the end of the day, it's still just a pathetic attempt at fabricating a interesting story, and you're still just a sad, pathetic liar.

>>937034564
Are you fucking kidding me with that bullshit story? You think you're some kind of bad boy, don't you? Taking someone's virginity, oh what a fucking original and not-at-all-cliché claim. I mean, come on, that's like the most basic, tried-and-true lie in the book. It's like you took a glance at a Reddit thread titled "Cool stories, bro" and decided to regurgitate the most boring, uncreative tale you could find.

Newsflash, dude: nobody believes that shit. It's a tired, overused trope that's been done to death. You're not even trying to be subtle about it. "Took my best friend's little sister's virginity" - oh, wow, what a shocking and edgy experience you must have had. I'm sure it had nothing to do with your fragile ego and desperate attempt to sound interesting.

Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once: if you're going to make up a story, at least have the decency to put some effort into it. Come up with something unique, something that doesn't sound like it was ripped straight from a bad 90s teen movie. This generic, cookie-cutter crap you're spewing is an insult to everyone who's ever had an actual, genuine experience.

And another thing, what's with the "back in school" part? You think that adds some kind of credibility to your tale? Like, oh, it was just a wild, innocent time, and you were just a young, careless rebel? Give me a break. You're not fooling anyone with that nostalgic nonsense.

Here's the bottom line: your story is a joke, and not even a good one. It's a pathetic attempt to sound cool, to sound like you've lived some kind of exciting, devil-may-care life. But let me tell you, buddy, it's not working. All you're doing is making a fool of yourself, and everyone can see right through your transparent BS.

>>936658116
Are you fucking kidding me with this shit? You think you're some kind of comedic genius, spinning a tired, pathetic tale about swapping your wife's bikini for a smaller one? Give me a break. That's not even a decent attempt at a joke, it's a lazy, misogynistic fucking cliché.

And what's with the "she owned it" bullshit? You think that's funny? You think it's hilarious to humiliate your wife in front of your friends, to make her a laughingstock? That's not humor, that's just fucking cruel.

And let's get to the real kicker here: you think you're the first person to ever come up with this kind of "edgy" humor? Newsflash, buddy: this joke is older than your fucking grandmother. It's been done to death, and it was never funny to begin with.

And the way you try to spin it, like you're some kind of Machiavellian mastermind, ripping off the tag so your wife wouldn't notice? Oh, wow, that's some top-notch comedic writing right there. I bet you spent hours crafting that little detail, didn't you? "Oh, I'll just rip off the tag, and then she'll never suspect a thing!" Fucking genius, dude.

And the culmination of this whole sorry affair: your wife gets a reputation as a "whore" because of your stupid, childish prank. That's not just unfunny, that's actually fucking despicable. You should be ashamed of yourself, you piece of shit.

You know what the saddest part of this whole thing is? You probably think you're the hero of this little story, the guy who pulled off the ultimate prank. But let me tell you, buddy, you're not the hero. You're the fucking villain. You're the kind of guy who thinks it's okay to humiliate and embarrass his wife for a cheap laugh. And that's just fucking pathetic.

>>936262898
You really think you can spin a convincing yarn, don't you? Please, that's the most cliché, trying-to-be-shocking-but-failing-miserably story I've ever had the displeasure of hearing. Your dad passed out in his boxers, and you just happened to be curious about his junk? Give me a break. That's not even a unique attempt at a shocking childhood memory; it's like you rummaged through a clearance bin of overused, edgy anecdotes and emerged with that uninspired gem.

And let's get to the good stuff – or should I say, the lack thereof. You're trying to imply some deep, dark secret, but all I'm getting is a weak attempt at titillation. Newsflash: it's not provocative; it's just cringeworthy. The mental image of you as a five-year-old stroking your dad's cock through his boxers, only to get scared and run away, is less arousing and more pathetic. I mean, come on, if you're going to try to be provocative, at least have the decency to be original.

Your story reeks of desperation, a plea for attention masquerading as a bold confession. It's like you're trying to scream, "Look at me! I've got a dark past!" but all that's coming out is a faint, nasally whine. The throbbing cock, the groaning, the frantic escape – it's all just a bit too much, like a bad parody of a real person's experience.

Honestly, if you're going to make up a story, at least put some effort into it. This half-baked, predictable mess is an insult to anyone who's ever actually experienced something worth sharing. So, here's a suggestion: either come up with something better or just stick to the truth. Because, trust me, this fantasies-for-dummies approach isn't fooling anyone.

>>936173600
Let's get down to business. Your story is a goddamn joke, a pathetic attempt at sounding like a big shot. You think you're some kind of player, banging a 22-year-old single mom and getting off scot-free just because you're footing the bill for her rent? Please, that's not a clever arrangement, that's just a sad, fucked-up transaction.

And the fact that you've known her and her family her whole life? That just makes you a coward, someone who's using a lifelong connection to exploit a young woman who's probably desperate enough to accept your shitty deal. You're not a humanitarian, you're a user, and a pretty damn sleazy one at that.

And what's with the "I'll look her parents in the eyes" crap? You think that's impressive? You think that takes balls? Newsflash, buddy: it takes a special kind of asshole to smile in someone's face while you're secretly fucking their daughter like she's a cheap whore. And shaking her father's hand? That's just the icing on the cake, a nice little touch of hypocrisy to make the whole scene even more nauseating.

Your story is old, it's tired, and it's been done to death. You're not some kind of innovator, you're just a rehash of every other loser who thinks they can get away with treating women like shit and still come out looking like a decent human being. Well, let me tell you something, pal: you're not fooling anyone. You're a joke, a perverted little joke, and the only thing that's impressive is the depth of your own depravity.

So go ahead, keep telling yourself that you're some kind of macho stud, keep pretending that you're not just a sad, pathetic loser who's using his money and his connections to get laid. But at the end of the day, you're still just a guy who's too chickenshit to be honest with the people around him, and too damn stupid to come up with a better story than the same old clichés we've all heard a million times before.

>>936080729
You've spun a tale that's as predictable as it is vile. Let's dissect the audacity of your fabricated story. You claim to have taken advantage of a friend, supposedly too inebriated or 'roofied' to remember or consent. As you paint this picture, you reveal more about your own character – or lack thereof – than anything else.

Your narrative is riddled with holes, not least of which is the convenient lack of detail about your friend's reaction or, indeed, any form of interaction that might suggest she was anything more than an inanimate object to you. The tableaux you've constructed is as unoriginal as it is reprehensible, leaning on tired, misogynistic tropes that offer little insight into anything beyond your own fantasies.

Furthermore, the manner in which you've chosen to share this story – replete with graphic details that add nothing to the narrative's credibility – speaks volumes about your intentions. It's less about conveying an experience and more about gratifying your ego or, perhaps, seeking some form of validation or reaction.

The lack of self-awareness is striking, as you recount events with a detachment that borders on the sociopathic. Your description of the physical aspects of the encounter is as devoid of emotional content as it is explicit in physical detail, highlighting a stark disconnect between your actions and any semblance of empathy or understanding.

The whole scenario smells of a desperate attempt to shock or provoke, rather than any genuine expression of experience or feeling. The cavalier attitude towards the potential consequences of your actions – including the possibility of pregnancy, mentioned with a flippancy that belies the seriousness of such an outcome – underscores the callous nature of your retelling.

>>935843926
Are you fucking kidding me with this ridiculous story? You think you're some kind of heroic crusader, saving these "10/10 stunners" from themselves, one meaningless hookup at a time? Give me a break. Your tale is about as original as a fucking Hallmark card. "Oh, I'm a charming, silver-tongued devil, and I can talk these poor, naive women into seeing the error of their ways and opting for a night of board games and platonic conversation instead of getting laid."

I mean, come on, who do you think you're fooling with this crap? You're not some kind of fucking superhero, using your alleged charm to redirect these women's libidos into more wholesome pursuits. It's a tired, clichéd narrative, and you're not even bothering to put a fresh spin on it. You're just regurgitating the same old, predictable, "I'm a good guy, really" nonsense that every other self-deluded, egotistical fuckwit has been peddling for years.

And the part where they supposedly send you Christmas cards, thanking you for changing their lives? Fucking spare me. You really think you're making that kind of profound impact on these women, just by being your usual, blowhard self? Please. They're probably just humouring you, like you're some kind of eccentric, annoying uncle who can't be taken seriously.

Your whole story reeks of desperation, a pathetic attempt to convince yourself, and maybe others, that you're something more than just another average, horny dude, trying to get laid. Newsflash: you're not special, and your sad, little anecdotes aren't going to change that. So, either step up your game or stop embarrassing yourself with these lame, fantasy stories. The world is not waiting with bated breath for your next, predictable, self-aggrandizing tale.