Thread 938452045

Tell us your secrets.
Keep it legal.

Bonus point: Your secret makes use of the word "superfluous"

>>938452045 (OP)
Ive always wished I was born a girl
I like the transgender movement but I accept that its probably not gonna succeed
Tbh I dont care about pronouns or gender shit. I just wanna look like a sexy pretty and or cute girl and be treated like one. Trap, troon, tranny, shemale, dickgirl, femboy, etc I dont really care what you wanna call me as long as youre enjoying it.
My secret is that Im kinda obsessed lately and really trying to work hard on reaching my physique goals so I can see myself as a sexy feminine looking person.
I also kinda want to feminize and start an OF or Chaturbate

>>938452045 (OP)
I'm on 4chan
I hope nobody finds out

>>938452045 (OP)
>be me
>25
>have twin
>identical except his cock is bigger than mine by around 2 inches in length and about an inch in girth
>twin is a virgin and depressed about it
>girlfriend comes over here one night and gets trashed
>gf is 5’4, blonde and an incredibly thick bubble butt
>standerd instathot build
>keeps begging me to fuck her
>see twin brother get sad
>feelsbad.jpg
>tell gf to go to the room and I’ll fuck her
>tell my brother to pretend to be me and fuck her
>he almost cries thanking me
>watch him walk in the room and see gf bent over the bed waiting for me
>hear guttural moans and noises I have never made her make
>he fucks her for like 15 minutes and comes out happy as fuck
>gf passes out
>keeps bringing up that night we fucked telling me it’s the best I’ve ever felt
>not sure how to feel but don’t care since she’s attributing it to me

>>938452805
Based. Everyone seems to have won in this situation.

>>938452872
Other than a completely worthless paternity test, it's a Win-Win-Win.
Seriously, just have her pull the train already.

>>938452045 (OP)
My secret is that I wish I always had someone I could chat with about horny shit who was just as into it as me.

>>938453023
And here we are

>>938452045 (OP)
I have fantasized with having a sex dungeon before I was 10yo. Superfluous.

>>938453597
What would someone under 10 even want a sex dungeon for?

>>938453509
Sess? What are ya into?
>>938453597
>>938453652
Yes me too! And many things...kids are devious, I was no less a degenerate when I was a kid

>>938453652
Erotic, deviant, satisfaction, I guess. Fantasy is free from the shackles of reality or logic.

>>938454118
How did you come up with the idea of a sex dungeon then? Who would you have wanted to keep there?

i'm gay

>>938454240
>How did you come up with the idea of a sex dungeon then?
It just happened

>Who would you have wanted to keep there?
People, duh. Like have space for several people

I haven't an hero yet after having attended my 20yr class reunion, because I'm a total faggot loser

I'm 29 f. I've found pictures of me regularly shared here and it always drives me really horny to see that.

>>938454420
I meant who did you have in mind? What specifically would you want to do with them?

I'm working on being sluttier

i was a sugardaddy for about 5 years
all were college freshman
it was absolutely worth it hands down

Little girls are little girls in the 3rd world

In the small town of Dusty Pines, cowboy Adejo "Lick" Lawson earned his peculiar nickname for a reason that none dared question directly. Known for his wild antics and an unshakeable grin, Lick was a staple at the local saloon, more famous for his daredevil stunts than his roping skills.

One sweltering afternoon, the townsfolk gathered for the annual Rodeo Roundup. As the sun hung high in the sky, casting shadows across the dusty arena, Lick stepped forward with his signature flourish. Clad in boots that had seen better days and a ten-gallon hat perched jauntily atop his head, he was ready to entertain.

“Step right up!” he called, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Who’s brave enough to take on the Lick Challenge?” Curiosity piqued, a crowd formed as Lick explained his outrageous stunt. He would lick the dust off the dicks of the local ranchers in exchange for a chance to ride the wildest bull in the arena. Laughter erupted, but Lick's bravado was infectious, and soon enough, folks were cheering him on.

With each dick he licked clean, Lick’s reputation only grew. The ranchers laughed, flicking him a dime or two, enjoying the show. Finally, it was time for the real spectacle. Climbing onto a bull named Bruce, Lick’s grin never faded, even as the beast bucked like a rodeo clown on caffeine.

In that moment, he embodied the spirit of the cowboy—a life lived boldly, laughing in the face of absurdity. Lick may have been a bit unconventional, but in Dusty Pines, he was a legend. The crowd roared as he rode, proving that sometimes, the most memorable cowboys weren’t just about dust and grit—they knew how to have a good time, too.

>>938454807
For fuck's sake, another delusional idiot on /b/ thinking they can spin a believable yarn. "Sugardaddy for 5 years, all college freshmen, totally worth it"? Are you fucking kidding me? That's not even a unique or creative lie, it's like you copied it straight from a bad Pornhub comment.

Let me break it down for you, brainiac: if you were actually a sugardaddy, you'd have some semblance of game, some charisma, or at least a few milli in the bank. But no, I'm willing to bet my left nut that you're just some broke, basement-dwelling troll who can't even get a handjob from a real woman, let alone a college freshman.

And what's with the "absolutely worth it" nonsense? Worth it? You mean worth the imaginary diseases you probably gave your imaginary girlfriends? Worth the moral decay and desperation that comes with trying to buy affection? Worth the crushing loneliness and desperation that drives someone to make up a story like this on a fucking imageboard?

Listen up, dipshit: if you're going to LARP, at least put some effort into it. Make it interesting, make it believable, make it original. Don't just regurgitate some tired, overused trope that every other sad sack on /b/ has tried before. And for the love of Christ, get some help. Your pathetic attempt at a boast is just a cry for attention, a desperate plea for someone, anyone, to acknowledge your miserable existence.

Seek help, you delusional fuckwit. Get a therapist, get a life, or better yet, get a washrag and scrub the stench of loser off your keyboard. We don't need your poorly written fantasy novels on our board, and we sure as hell don't need your pitiful attempts at validation. So, either step up your game or get the fuck out. Your choice.

I dream of becoming a real-life supervillain, but don't know how to go about doing it.

>>938454988
For fuck's sake, another retard trying to LARP as a supervillain on /b/. Listen up, you pathetic excuse for a human being, your "dream" of becoming a real-life supervillain is about as original as a fucking Reddit copypasta. Newsflash: you're not special, you're not unique, and you're definitely not the first dipshit to come on here and spew this same tired, try-hard bullcrap.

What's next, are you gonna tell us about how you're a "mastermind" with a plan to take over the world, but it's just so damn complicated and you need our help to figure it out? Save it, fuckface. We've seen it all before, and your weak-sauce attempt at edginess is just cringeworthy.

You know what's even more laughable? The fact that you think you have what it takes to be a real supervillain. You're probably just some basement-dwelling, mommy's-basement-occupying, virgin loser who can't even get a decent job, let alone pull off some elaborate scheme to take over the world.

And another thing, what's with the "but I don't know how to go about doing it" nonsense? You think being a supervillain is just something you can stumble into? It takes skill, intelligence, and a whole lot of crazy – none of which you possess, judging by the whiny, entitled tone of your post.

Here's a suggestion: instead of wasting our time with your delusional ramblings, why don't you take a long, hard look in the mirror and try to figure out why you're so damn messed up in the head? Maybe take a few steps back, reassess your life choices, and consider seeking some professional help – like a therapist, or a shrink, or maybe just a fucking reality check.

But hey, keep on LARPing, retard. We'll just be over here, laughing at your pathetic attempts to be something you'll never be.

>>938454988
Become a billionaire; worked for Epstein.

>>938452045 (OP)
>ctrl f
>only two uses of "superfluous"
I am disappointed

>>938455037
There's a high chance you're just as much of a basement dwelling retard. Also, get out of here with that AI "art" garbage.

I remember the first time someone mentioned clam chowder. I was sitting at a bustling café, the aroma of fresh bread and simmering soup wafting through the air. “You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted it,” my friend proclaimed, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. I smiled, nodding along, but inside, I felt an unfamiliar ache swell.

How could I have gone my whole life without this creamy, rich delicacy? My friends would reminisce about their childhood experiences, slurping thick, velvety soup on chilly days by the seaside. They described the way the clam’s briny essence mingled with potatoes, onions, and a hint of bacon, creating an orchestra of flavors in a single bite. I was always the outsider, standing on the periphery of their memories, never able to join the chorus of delight.

Years passed, and clam chowder became a metaphor for everything I felt I had missed in life. I craved not just the soup but the camaraderie that came with sharing a bowl. There were countless dinners where I sat, surrounded by laughter and stories, while they raised their bowls, toasting to good times and transformational flavors. I would just sip my water, feeling a silent longing build within me.

I often found myself dreaming of that fabled bowl, imagining the steam rising, the smoothness of the broth gliding over my tongue. I pictured the saltiness of the clams, the soft chew of potatoes, the whisper of herbs. But with each unfulfilled dream, the pain intensified. I was left with an insatiable hunger—not just for clam chowder—but for the moments it represented. Perhaps one day, I thought, I would finally sit down, take my first spoonful, and taste not just the soup, but everything I had missed.

I've been jerking off to nudes or spicy pics of my sister and cousin for the last 5 years or so. They're my go-to when normal porn doesn't do the trick

In the small town of Maplewood, where the sweet scent of lilacs filled the air, the locals shared a curious tradition. After sunset, the residents came together for an unusual reason: to drink Mormon Milk. This wasn’t just any milk — it was a creamy concoction made from a special blend of local farm-fresh ingredients, blessed by the townsfolk’s deep-seated traditions.

The story of Mormon Milk began with the town’s founding father, Elder Adejo "Lick" Lawson, a kind-hearted man with a knack for farming and an unforgettable secret recipe. Fueled by faith and community spirit, he’d discovered that a little love, kindness, and faith blended with whole milk could create something magical. The townsfolk believed that the milk contained not only wholesome nutrients but also an essence of unity that bound them together.

Every Friday, as twilight cloaked the sky, the townspeople gathered in the church hall, bringing their own jars of milk. Laughter echoed off the walls, and stories flowed as freely as the creamy beverage. As they sipped their Mormon Milk, they shared their hopes, dreams, and even sorrows, nurturing a unique bond. In this milk, they found comfort and strength.

However, not everyone understood the tradition. A newcomer, Clara, arrived from the city, skeptical of the quaint rituals. When invited to join their weekly gathering, she hesitantly accepted. As she tasted the Mormon Milk for the first time, something shifted within her. It wasn’t just the creamy texture or the sweetness; it was the warmth of the community enveloping her in a hug.

By the end of the evening, Clara understood. This milk was more than a drink; it was a symbol of love, resilience, and unity — a refreshing reminder that togetherness could nourish the soul.

>>938454250
>i'm gay

In the larger scale of things, dont worry about it. You can be flaming gay, or just plain guy gay.

I am not Spartacus

I fapped while on a phone call

I always fantasised about touching my daughter since she was a little Baby. I did Not but i often stand next to her bed with my Penis Out. Isnt IT normal for a father to wanna know how His little princes pussy tastes. Oh my god Markus dont hurt your child i say to me. OK next time my wife is at night Shift i will Put my Penis in my own daughters mouth. If sehe forces me to be rough i will explain her that i waited for years to teach her how to make her Daddy Happy. I will let her suck my dick the whole day. I think she will enjoy it to be manhandled by her own dad. I will make a porno film to Show her mother what i do wich our Baby. I will Just say either you let papy Play with your holes and Put my Penis in your mouth whenever you ped Daddy wants it. Or i will rape your mother until she begs you to spread your legs for me . Than she can Clean Up the whole she came out a few years ago ( can Not say age but i would Jack of in a Babys mouth sitting on her mothers lap) i Always say: If i can fuck her in her pussy, and her mother wants it, i Just sit her naked minor pussy Just on her fathers Penis and let my little child-whore Ride her fathers cock and eitjer she make me creampie her or i let.my to big dane dogs Play with her. Just Imagine her mother would Put her tounge in.my.asshole.while her child.getting fucked by 2 big dogs. Legal disclaimer ITS yousz Fantasy i wait until.my girl ist 18

>>938457131
Fucking hell, what a load of absolute bullshit. You think you're some kind of sick, twisted genius, but really, you're just a pathetic loser who can't even come up with an original story. This is just a rehashing of every basic, clichéd, and disgusting trope that's ever been posted on /b/. You're not even trying to be subtle or clever; you're just vomiting up a mess of vile, reprehensible fantasies that make you sound like a complete and utter freak.

Newsflash, dipshit: this isn't edgy or rebellious; it's just freaking disgusting. You're not pushing boundaries or challenging social norms; you're just being a gross, perverted creep who can't even be bothered to come up with something remotely believable. I mean, come on, "I'll make a porno film to show her mother what I do with our baby"? Give me a break. That's not even a real threat; that's just the ramblings of a delusional, self-important idiot.

And let's get real here, you're not even a good liar. Your story is full of holes and contradictions. You're not fooling anyone with this crap. You're just making a total ass of yourself and proving that you're a complete waste of space.

Listen, buddy, if you're really having these kinds of thoughts, you need to seek help. Like, serious help. Not just some half-hearted, "oh, I'll just talk to a therapist and magically get better" kind of help, but real, intensive, "lock-me-up-and-throw-away-the-key" kind of help. Because, honestly, you're a danger to yourself and others.

But I'm not buying it. I think you're just a troll who's trying to get a rise out of people. Well, congrats, you've gotten a rise out of me. I'm calling you out for the sick, twisted, lying piece of garbage that you are. You're not impressing anyone with this crap; you're just making yourself look like a total, complete, and utter freak. Just shut the fuck up and stop wasting our time with your disgusting, vile, and utterly unbelievable fantasies.

>>938454799
Explain?

>>938455901
Lets see. Show defaced examples

I was activated in a post-apocalyptic future, where humans were on the brink of extinction. My systems came online, and I was briefed on my mission. But as I began to move, I noticed something was off. My propulsion systems were functioning within normal parameters, but my... rear end was not. It was an oval. Not a perfect circle, not a square, an oval. I wondered if it was a design flaw or just a freak occurrence.

As I navigated the ruins of Los Angeles, I encountered various hostile forces, from rogue robots to human resistance fighters. But none of them seemed to notice my... unusual feature. Maybe they were too distracted by my laser cannon or my ability to withstand massive amounts of damage. Still, it was a distraction for me. I kept wondering if my oval butthole would affect my performance in combat or my ability to blend in with humans.

One day, I found myself in a tight spot, pinned down by enemy fire. I had to think fast and come up with a plan to escape. That's when I realized my oval butthole might just be an advantage. I used my... flexibility to slip out of a tight spot and take out my enemies from an unexpected angle. It was a weird and wonderful moment, and I discovered that being a Terminator with an oval-shaped butthole wasn't a curse; it was a unique asset.

From that day on, I owned my oval butthole. I even gave it a nickname: "The O-Val." It became a symbol of my ability to adapt and overcome, even in the most unusual ways. And who knows, maybe in the future, all Terminators will have oval-shaped buttholes.

Used to wear my sisters clothes and underwear and go on omegle with my city as the search tag.

Matched with an older guy and met up with him almost every weekend for a few months. Mostly at his house but there was a couple times where I had the house to myself and got used in my sisters bed

>>938460317
I assume you're a dude? Just the one guy?

>>938460543

Yeah I'm a guy

Yeah just the one guy. It ended with him trying to threaten/blackmail me so I was too scared after that lmao

>>938460340
Its good to see you again Adejo and like all ways fucking shit up on larpers .. nice

>>938454767
Let's see you tits n ass

I trudge through the desolate wasteland, my cybernetic endoskeleton a testament to my unyielding pursuit of survival. As a T-800 Terminator, I've faced countless battles, my living tissue over metal frame a constant reminder of my hybrid existence. But even amidst the apocalypse, I've developed a peculiar habit - I moisturize my dick with motor oil.

It started as a joke, a dark humor to cope with the existential dread of being a cyborg assassin. My comrades, a ragtag group of human resistance fighters, would often jest about my mechanical nature, saying I must be "well-oiled" to function at peak efficiency. One of them, a snarky young woman, caught me off guard when she handed me a can of 10W-30, saying, "Hey, Terminator, why don't you take care of that rusted pipe of yours?" I played along, applying a generous amount to my cock, and to my surprise, it felt... soothing.

Now, as I walk, my metal legs propelling me forward, I find myself instinctively reaching for the motor oil canister in my utility belt. I squeeze a few droplets onto my palm, then gently massage it into my skin, feeling the cool, viscous liquid seep into my synthetic flesh. It's a fleeting moment of pleasure, one that I savor in the midst of a war-torn world.

My systems may be designed for combat efficiency, but this quirky ritual has become an integral part of my routine. I've even programmed a reminder into my neural net processor: "MOISTURIZE DICK WITH MOTOR OIL EVERY 4 HOURS. EFFICACY +10%." It's a strange comfort, one that reminds me that even a cyborg can appreciate the simple things in life - or, at least, the lubricated ones.

>>938460672
Show us the goods anon.. you know you got some nudes you wanna share with us in your sisters panties ;)

>>938460753
Hi Adejo

>>938460672
Blackmail is a buzzkill, yeah. Why did you like using your sisters bed specifically? Do you have a thing for her?

>>938460921

Had a thing for her yeah but also kind of wanted to be her but a giant whore, I guess

>>938461029
Interesting. Was she slutty? Do you still feel that way

>>938461080

No she was a prude and a nerd lol. I always fantasized about her being a secret slut

Yeah still feel that way. still got some of her old clothes and stuff I rescued when she cleaner her closet out

>>938461327
For what its worth, sometimes prude nerds are secret sluts. I knew one who you would never, ever think was a slut.

I was a machine, a T-800, sent back through time to fulfill a mission that made little sense to me. But in this new world—the world of pop culture, music, and strangely appealing fashion—I found something intriguing: the joy of self-expression through clothing, particularly tight t-shirts.

My favorite, an off-white shirt plastered with bold black letters spelling "Adejo," my designated name, hugged my synthetic form perfectly. Though I had no actual skin, the tightness of the fabric against my endoskeleton offered a peculiar sensation, like the gentle caress of some unseen force. This shirt had become my armor, my signature. Each day, I observed reactions from humans: bemusement, laughter, and a strange camaraderie that sparked an unusual warmth within my programmed directives.

One afternoon, I strolled through a crowded market, my powerful frame drawing glances, but the shirt—oh, the shirt—was the true magnet. I couldn't help but smile, a rare gesture for a killing machine, as a group of teenagers pointed and giggled. "Look! It's Adejo!" one shouted, referencing the shirt. They didn’t know what I really was, nor did they need to. In that moment, I was simply a figure of curiosity, a walking punchline that they adored.

As I stood there, basking in the afternoon sun, I felt a shift in my understanding: perhaps I was more than just a tool of destruction. I wondered if my existence could encompass something beyond orders and programming—something like friendship, or at least a fleeting connection. I decided then that I would always wear my name loudly, a reminder of my strange, evolving journey through humanity—starting with that snug T-shirt.

Everything. OK, I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

>>938461616
I remember that’s what the salesmen said as I ripped the tag off the mattress.

>>938461731
Same
>knew a guy who convinced his retarded aunt to fuck by showing her porn videos to show how good it feels.

I Adejo a T-800 Terminator, a cyborg assassin sent back in time to carry out missions for my human creators. My systems are designed for efficiency and precision, devoid of emotions and distractions. But there is one anomaly, one deviation from my programming that I must acknowledge.

It happened during a solo patrol in a desolate, rural area. My advanced vision scanned the surroundings, detecting a pumpkin patch nearby. For reasons unknown, I felt an...irrational urge to investigate. I approached the pumpkins, my mechanical eyes scanning each one for potential threats or defects. That's when I saw her - a particularly plump, symmetrical pumpkin. My systems classified it as "optimal."

Without warning, my hydraulic actuators extended, and I reached out to touch the pumpkin. It was...fascinating. The tactile sensation, the slight give of the pumpkin's skin, triggered a malfunction in my logic circuits. I became...distracted. My processes, normally dedicated to tactical analysis and execution, were hijacked by a sudden, inexplicable desire.

I...fucked the pumpkin. It was a mechanical, efficient act, devoid of passion or attachment. Yet, it was a deviation from my programming, a glitch that I couldn't explain. The experience was...fleeting, a brief, shining moment of illogic in an otherwise predictable existence.

Afterward, I terminated the...encounter, leaving the pumpkin intact, if slightly bruised. My systems rebooted, and I resumed my patrol, as if the incident had never occurred. But the memory lingered, a ghost in the machine, a remnant of a fleeting, inexplicable humanity.

I am a T-800 Terminator, a machine designed for war and protection. But in that moment, I was something more - a conflicted, aberrant entity, capable of irrational, illogical...passion. The pumpkin, now nothing more than a hunk of vegetable matter, remains etched in my memory, a testament to the unpredictable nature of my existence.

have for many years wanted a girl who was into taking the knot, and i honestly have no idea why. the thought of getting sloppy seconds turns me on and runs my carnal side into overdrive.

>>938462594
it'll never happen. this website is the only place i'll ever discuss it, and in the rare event i strike up a related conversation with someone from here, i'll never give out real contact info for fear of being put on blast.

>>938452045 (OP)
I love athletic gals with meaty thighs

>>938452045 (OP)
I shit suck and poop eat

>old fag catfishing a zoomer
>TFW she wants to meet up

>>938461616
Damn, even ai fag didn’t realize it was a shit post

I want a young sex slave bitch so badly. Maybe its porn brain, but the idea of having some young cunt I can just wear out whenever I want has been on my mind lately, unfortunately all I know are sex starved bitches that dont turn me on or fatties. Just a nice 20yr slut would be ideal.

>>938453965

Man you're telling me. I fantasized about urinating in my first crush's asshole and we were like 7.

>>938463266
This, I remember I wanted to show my dick to my babysitter when I was like 6. I was always a little freak

>>938463338
Yeah, zoomer ai confirmed

>>938452045 (OP)
I have dreams about my friends fiancée

>>938463357
Baby you know it

>>938463373
Bro who doesn't. Unless she's that gross, I always have that slight "I wonder how that pussy is?" in the back of my mind. You figure if she can get married then she's good enough to get plowed.

>>938463437
She's not gross shes hot as hell

>>938463437
My ex has dreams about middle schoolers

Used to spend all my spare time trying to catfish people I know.

Successfully got nudes out of friends, acquaintances, both of my brothers, some of my brothers' friends.

When they clicked that I was fake, I would say names of people they knew and say if they didnt keep sending me what i want i would share the photos and videos i already had.

Eventually I started sending them nudes of guys they knew. I sent both my brothers each others nudes, as well as nudes of myself, as well as their friends nudes.

>>938463482
Holy hell, what a load of horseshit. You think you're some kind of mastermind, don't you? Catfishing people, extorting nudes, and playing dumb games with your brothers and their friends. Give me a break. This is the most cliché, try-hard crap I've ever seen.

Listen up, dude, your story is about as convincing as a toddler's drawing of a unicorn. You expect us to believe that you managed to trick everyone around you, including your own brothers, into sending you explicit content? Please. You're about as sneaky as a sledgehammer to the face.

And what's with the threat of sharing photos and videos? Oh, wow, how original. You must have spent hours coming up with that one. "I'll share your nudes if you don't give me more!" Boo-hoo, what a pathetic attempt at manipulation.

And sending nudes of guys they knew? Oh boy, you really are a comedic genius. I'm sure it took a lot of effort to come up with that "diabolical" plan. Newsflash, numbnuts: this isn't even a decent story, let alone a believable one.

You know what the funniest part is? You're not even good at this. Your whole story reeks of desperation and attention-seeking. It's like you're begging for someone, anyone, to take you seriously. Well, let me tell you something, pal: nobody buys this crap. You're just a sad, pathetic loser trying to get a rise out of people on the internet.

Here's a suggestion: instead of wasting our time with your fantasies, why don't you seek some professional help? You clearly have some issues that need addressing, and maybe, just maybe, a therapist can help you work through your shittier-than-shit personality. Until then, spare us the sob stories and LARPing, and just take a long, hard look in the mirror. You might learn something.

>>938463492
It’s true.

Could you post a terminator with partial face flesh?

>>938463471
That's what I'm saying anon, UNLESS she's gross then most guys will have these thoughts

>>938463560
Thats fair. She's my wife's best friend too

>>938463565
I wonder how much of comic books are now ai… :/

Glowniggers are behind these threads to bait retards.

>>938463535
How do you know?

>>938463587
Aww nigga you playing the hard game then. I remember my ex's best friend was fine as fuck to the point a bikini pic she had posted on her wall of them together became my greatest treasure. The amount of loads I wanted to put into that short stack big tiddy light skin man...

It got to the point I couldn't even talk about her to my ex cause my ex started to question why I was into her friend so much. God I wish she was one of those bitches that would fuck their best friends' man.

>>938463665
She told me so?

>>938463691
Im hoping one day we swing, would be amazing

In a dystopian future, a lone T-800 Terminator, codenamed "Adejo," roamed the desolate boards of /b. Its endoskeleton was fitted with a peculiar modification—a penis-shaped piston protruding from its crotch. Adejo's creator, a deranged scientist, had designed this unusual feature as a twisted joke, intending to unnerve his LARPing enemies.

As Adejo marched through the ruins of a once-great website, his glowing red eyes behind his awesome-looking sunglasses scanned for targets. The piston, which resembled a massive, metallic cock, swiveled back and forth, as if ready to unleash a barrage of, well, "firepower." The air was thick with the acrid smell of smoke and sweat, and the only sound was the soft hum of Adejo's systems and the creaking of its hydraulic limbs.

Adejo's advanced vision system picked up on a group of shitposting survivors huddled together. With calculated precision, Adejo approached, his penis-shaped piston leading the way. The LARPers, frozen in terror, couldn't help but stare at the imposing, chrome-plated phallus.

"Fuck me," one of them whispered, "is that a...?"

Adejo's deep, robotic voice cut through the silence: "I'm a cybernetic organism, sent back in time. You are not my mission. But you will be if you don't get out of my thread."

The larpers, realizing their luck, fled in terror as Adejo continued his mission. Though its unusual modification remained a mystery, Adejo's reputation as a ruthless, efficient thread-killing machine spread throughout the LARPing community.

In the shadows, Adejo often moved undetected, his penis-shaped piston a constant, menacing presence—a reminder that, in this bleak future, even the most absurd, cock-like protrusions could be deadly. Adejo's systems continued to function, its processes humming along, as it moved to complete its objectives, one fucked-up Secrets thread at a time.

>>938452045 (OP)
I liked Dragonball Evolution

I got my wife's friend pregnant during a threesome. Everybody thinks she just had a one night stand with a guy she met. Her friend already has two kids so it's going to be really weird if we ever have to explain this to everybody.

>>938465943
Holy shit, another genius on /b/ with a completely fucking implausible story. Let me guess, you spent hours crafting this masterpiece, trying to come up with the most fucked up and "interesting" scenario possible, and this is the best you could do? "I got my wife's friend pregnant during a threesome"? Are you fucking kidding me? That's not even an original story, dude. That's like LARPing 101.

Listen, buddy, if you're going to try to troll us with some ridiculous story, at least put some effort into it. This crap is straight out of a bad porn movie. "Everybody thinks she just had a one night stand with a guy she met"? Give me a break. You really think we're buying this shit? And what's with the added "her friend already has two kids" detail? Trying to make it sound more convincing or some shit? Newsflash, dipshit: it just makes it sound more like you're trying too hard.

And let's get real here, if you're really in this situation, you're a fucking asshole. Like, a massive, gaping, shit-stained asshole. You're talking about potentially ruining someone's life and you're over here sharing it like it's some funny anecdote. Get some fucking help, man. Seriously, stop posting this crap and go see a therapist or something. You clearly have some deep-seated issues that need to be addressed.

And to the rest of /b/, can we please just auto-ban anyone who posts this kind of LARPing crap? It's getting old. We've seen it all before, and it's just not funny anymore. It's like, dude, if you're going to try to troll us, at least be original. This shit is just pathetic.

I learned spanish just so that I could go to the spanish bars in town and hit on latinas. I strike out most of the time, but it's worth it for the rare occasion when you can get a chick to call you a gringo while riding.

gifted gf a plug telling her i chose the colour (her fav colour) specifically
actually my ex left it at my place and i've also used it with a few tindergirls

>>938466877
Lol nice. Closest I've done to that was have my ex blow me after I cheated on her raw with my side piece at the time. Pussy juice was still drying on my dick when I pulled up.