>>24630654
Nice pic selection, I want to breed Matyr.
Is this chapter 3? I've read chapter 2 this morning.
>They bickered for the rest of the afternoon.
I can't express why, but this sentence took me out of the flow.
>ten thousand kilometre drop
I thought it was distance, not height when I read chapter 2; that's taller than the Everest's peak. If Melody is a normal human, she's dead.
Is it some type of megastructure?
We got more info about Zucchini, being a giant and all, but I'm not feeling like the environment is being well described. Are we going up a hill/mountain with abandoned man-made structures? Some gravity changes going on at Caleb's Pass?
Can't comment grammar as I'm bad at it, but it seemed fine, I guess? I do think some sentences could be simplified. For example:
>Yes, the Dumpus came from the Inlin and destroyed our town, who you see here are the only ones who survived.
Could be:
>Yes, the Dumpus came from the Inlin and destroyed our town. The ones you see here are the only who survived.
Good luck autore!
