>>21690923
thank you
have a nice sleep science buddy!

I've ended up alone again.

I actually went through purgatory to be alone right now and this is just more purgatory. I thought I had to break up with my gf of 4 years because she couldn't speak English well, wasn't smart, and had no significant interests. Wedding bells were being imposed on me so she wouldn't have to leave the country. Maybe I'm not being fair, and have high standards in other people's eyes, and I've been ruthless but I felt like I was in a hole. I have freedom now and it gives me hope, but there is guilt throbbing in my chest. Oh the guilt, she was an innocent girl. Like my daughter that I've abandoned. I can't make sure she's safe and happy anymore...

I have 0 friends because once someone starts being consistently negative or spazzy, I drop them.

My family members are insane, I can't visit home because of their hoarding situations or frustrated ocd bpd problems.

I don't like where I am and where I've been, socially speaking.

I'm gonna watch a movie to zone out now. Any suggestions? I just watched Fallen Angels last night. It was nice to look at, I like the colors.

>>33768197
A bit too late for that. she insists I give real answers. In my mind im asking myself:why the fuck does she feel the need to introduce this tension for no reaso. Do I really need to prove myself every time?