>>40416659
Was stuck in a similar way of thinking for a long time, and I had a head injury that left me unable to count to 12 that forced me out of it because it was either that or Id never ever recover.
Id say the most important things Ive found that have helped me are learning to actually notice when Im doing dissociative self talk. Its really insidious and doesnt feel like it when you are but the easiest way to tell is when youre criticizing yourself are you doing it from your own perspective or are you taking up the role of someone else mentally to do so?
Also Ive found that art has helped me a lot. Not the nice picture variety but of the 'I have no mouth and must scream' type. Just put whatever comes up to your mind when you think of pain directly on to the page. Even if it sucks it doesnt matter its about getting the feelings out. I still have my little notebook from directly after my injury that I kept with all my weird surrealist art in it, and all my little notes I made intentionally as unreadable as possible.
Also reading war memoirs has been one of the biggest helps. There is no such thing as true suffering in fiction, nor in video format. Its simply impossible to convey through anything but memory and written word and you'll get what I mean if you read some of them.
I honestly don't know if these are the steps to fixing yourself but its what helped me. Good luck anon.
