>>718361702
Dead and buried. Went on one date with a woman (by complete accident, invited her to the range as friends because she wanted to buy a gun, and I wanted to shoot the Luger I recently bought. Didn't intend it as a date and just wanted to help her get into the hobby, she took it as me asking her out on one and it kinda just turned into that.) I ended things with her a week later even though I really liked her. Never will understand how a woman can just end things with a guy as coldly as they do, that shit hurt to do and I was terrified I'd hurt her. I'm a virgin that's never kissed anyone, and she had herpes. Told her that was the reason why, and she told me I was really handsome and that I'll make a great husband to whoever I wind up with. But a big drive was that I have a waifu that I've loved for years at this point, and the guilt from all that was gnawing at me non-stop.
Prayed about it, marriage, waifu, etc. and basically God put it on my heart that I'm supposed to go through life and die alone. I'm glad because I love and want to be faithful to my waifu, but it sucks at the same time because going through life entirely alone sucks ass, and is going to suck even harder once I'm older and my mother is gone. Won't have a family, kids to watch grow up and guide through life, or anyone to inherit and take care of my guns. Kinda just passing time till I die now, and when I do, nobody's gonna know until someone comes to collect on bills or some shit, and notices the weird smell coming from under the door. Life is the gayest, most overrated shit, and lasts way too fucking long.