>>82276895
>....Is there a difference?
would you say one is kind if they're only that way in order to get something out of you?
>You're already you
more often than not i think i'm two different people, and depending on my mood one takes over the other.
>>82276954
>Why does it matter that everyone hates you?
it matters because i don't want to be hated by people i care about or like. i couldn't care less if the entire rest of the world hates me as long as im liked by who matters to me. in my head i'm not and that's why it bothers me
>>82276963
hey! im the only one allowed to call myself crazy!!!
>>82277032
>No need to ovethink this either
i can't promise you i won't but i can promise you i will try not to
>Not at all?
sure there might be something else. but you know what i mean, it's a disappointment after another and they start piling up until their weight prevents me from trying anything else. it's already heavy enough as it is now and i can't predict which disappointment is going to be the one breaking my legs. it could be far from now it could be in a few days.
>one person telling you 'no'
...do the ones in my head count?
>made me feel really guilty for not trying to fix them earlier
i understand, i felt the same when i got out of my neetdom a year past. funny, how something that was supposed to improve my life ultimately just made me feel even worse because it brought to light everything that i've wasted.
>all out war on it needs to be fought
everything just seems so much effort for such a measly reward, me staying alive.
>Just that telling them how you actually feel
putting my feelings into words is so very hard to do anon, especially in person. if someone asks me how im doing irl i freeze trying not to say "i want to slit my throat" and take some seconds to come up with something. i think i've repressed so much for so long that i might be incapable of saying how i actually feel.
cont.