In the verdant hills of the Shire, where the air smelled of pipe-weed and freshly baked seed-cakes, there lived a band of unlikely hobbits. But these were no ordinary halflings; they were stout-hearted agents from the distant halls of the FBI, tasked with uncovering secrets buried deeper than the roots of the Old Forest. Among them were Dan Bongino, a burly hobbit with a voice like thunder and a knack for spotting hidden dangers, and Kash Patel, his clever companion, whose sharp eyes could pierce through veils of deception like a dagger through butter. They had long whispered of a great evil stirring in the shadows—a Sauron-like force, a master of sex-trafficking and blackmail, whose tendrils reached into the highest towers of power. This dark lord’s strength lay in the One Ring, forged in the fires of secrecy and inscribed with the forbidden knowledge of the Epstein files. Whosoever possessed it could command hordes of orcish minions: twisted immigrants from the distant lands of Asia and Africa, compelled by dark sorcery to overrun the free peoples of Middle-earth.