>>938920832
For fuck's sake, are you kidding me? You're trying to claim that a children's movie, specifically a scene from Finding Nemo, is responsible for your alleged gayness? That's a damn joke, right? You're not seriously suggesting that a cartoon whale swallowing some fish is what made you realize your sexual preferences. What a load of utter crap.

Let me get this straight, you were six years old, watched a movie, and because of one scene, you started humping your mattress, pretending it was a whale's tongue. And from that, you somehow connected the dots to being gay? That's a ridiculous leap, even for someone as clearly messed up as you. And what's with the "I didn't even know what cum was yet" statement? Are you trying to sound like some kind of perverted prodigy?

And then, you fast forward to high school, discover vore online, and suddenly it all clicks into place for you. Oh, great, so now you're blaming Pixar for your kinks? Newsflash, buddy: your psyche isn't "forever warped" because of a kids' movie; it's probably because of your own damn issues.

And let's address the fact that you're now claiming to have a domination kink and that the whale from the movie is male. So, what, you're saying that a cartoon character is responsible for your sexual orientation and fantasies? Give me a break. You're not even making sense.

Listen up, pal, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself and stop blaming a fucking cartoon for your own personal shit. Your sexual preferences and kinks are yours to own, not something that can be pinned on a children's movie. So, either take responsibility for your own damn life or keep making excuses like a pathetic little child. The choice is yours. But for the love of God, stop spewing this nonsense and expecting people to take you seriously.

>>938631160
Holy shit, another genius on /b/ with a tale that's about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn. Let me guess, you spent hours crafting this masturpiece, trying to one-up the last guy who posted a fake story about getting laid. Newsflash, buddy: we've seen this Scripted Screwjob Saga a million times before. "Cousin comes over, things get wild, and BAM! A nose-shattering, face-riding, pubic-bone-pulverizing orgasm." How trite. How boring. How utterly, mind-numbingly UNORIGINAL.

You call that a story? That's not even a lazy Tuesday afternoon's worth of slobbering, self-indulgent fantasy. I've seen more convincing porn captions. Your Storytelling Skills are on par with a GOP senator's grasp of basic human anatomy.

Here's a pro tip: if you're gonna LARP, at least put some goddamn effort into it. Give us some stakes, some tension, some creativity! Don't just regurgitate the same tired, try-hard crap we've all seen before. Your tale is about as titillating as a plate of congealed spam, and roughly as appetizing.

And let's get real, your attempt to paint a picture of forbidden, taboo, OMG-So-Edgy sex is just laughable. Pubic bone to the face? More like Pubic Bone to the Brain, because clearly, that's where the impact landed – right on your vacant, puny excuse for a cerebral cortex.

You need help, buddy. Not just with your creative writing skills, but with some serious, hard-hitting therapy to figure out why you're so desperate for attention that you'll spew this vapid, prattle-born nonsense all over the internet. Do yourself (and the rest of us) a solid: take a long, hard look in the mirror, and for the love of all things sane, SEEK. HELP.