i really think i am going to attempt killing myself soon , i dont know what to do lol

i just cant seem to get over wanting to kill myself no matter what i do. excersise, vitamins, hanging sleep pattern, diet, meds, meditation, prayer, self help, reading writing, everything is suicide fuel

I just got unironically blocked or banned whatever from the 988 suicide hotline, i started ranting i guess and got hung up on the online chat and now cant connect at all, i think im banned.

So, what do my feet smell like? Give it to me straight.

>accidently ruined all my pants over time
>realize now i have nothing to wear
>literally cant go outside, no pants
>nobody to call or ask for help
>no way to buy stuff online
>stuck in my house for the rest of my days
>unironically doomed.