LF pala-simp to level my mage
you WILL give me every copper you own
you WILL /kneel and /bow at my whim
whenever i request and every time i level up
you WILL protect my reputation, duel everyone in my name, and defend my honor like my knight in shining armor
whenever i am not online you WILL spend 18 hours of your day collecting resources to max my tailoring and enchanting
you WILL spend HOURS in ONE SITTING
fishing for me so i can max my cooking
you WILL take cutesy screenshots of my character
If even ONE mob touches me i WILL ignore you
if a neutral mob looks at me funny you WILL attack it and kill it for me
you WILL provide me with surprise gifts, if i do not like your gift i WILL ignore you
you WILL create a guild in my name, you WILL spread word of my greatness and you WILL gather other fanatics for me
you WILL be consulted on every each and one of my transmog choices, and you WILL like them or i WILL ignore you
you WILL never own a mount, you WILL walk to every destination so you BETTER find a shortcut
you WILL refer to me by cute nicknames, this nickname will change every day, if i do not like the nickname you have given me i WILL ignore you
you WILL do silly dances while i am afk in stormwind
if anyone makes a sexual remark toward me you WILL do everything in your power to protect me
i WILL never make portals for you, you are not worthy of them
you WILL take herbalism and alchemy and you WILL only make potions for me
you WILL always tell me i look beautiful even in the worst of the worst of grey trash gear
you WILL give me at minimum 20 compliments an hour
see you on kezan <3