I got /fit/. Went to a bar, lost my virginity to an okay-looking girl. I feel like, was that it? Was that what I was working towards for all these years? I feel so disappointed and empty.

I hit rock bottom. I saw everything life has to offer but even when I was at my best my depression was hard to handle. The problem is I feel too guilty to attempt suicide. There are many people that truly love and cherish me and I love em too and I don't want to upset them. I need a way out thats gonna look like an accident so they won't feel guilty because they didn't help me. Any ideas?