>>2835476
I had to get one out of my tent once while camping with wife outside of Provo
>come back from a hike
>fucker was curled real comfy right on the center of my sleeping bag where my chest would be
>wife sees it and immediately begins screaming
>almost sit on the snake because she didn't communicate wtf she was yelling about
>at least he wasn't inside the bag or I'd have been dead I'm from the Olympic peninsula and we don't have this crap to deal with
>finally hear rattle over the shrieking
>jump back
>wife sees back door of tent in front of her vision and for some reason jumps over the dam snake to get over to unzip it instead of backing out the open main door behind us
>erratic rattling intensifies
>slowly move back because I'm like 2 feet from this thing
>wife now running circles around the tent screaming for a park ranger as if we didn't hike 6 miles seeing nobody to get to this spot
>finally exit tent and wife has climbed up on a 4 foot tall rock to help her voice carry better
>just leave her up there
>went around back and lifted the tent up
>probably floorless was a bad idea but like I said ain't from round these parts
>grabbed the foot of the sleeping bag and drug it out under the side of the tent
>bastard just sat there rattlin and didn't move
>grabbed the feet of the bag again
>try to do the thing where you pull a table cloth out from under a wine glass but with a snake
>failed of course but it launched the snake about 15 feet into a little brush patch at the edge of camp
>wife still in full conductor we have a problem mode
>buried the edges of the tent in the dirt
>shook out everything
>drag the wife inside and zipped up as tight as the mummies would zip
never saw the snake again and that was fine with me
divorced her 2 years later and that was fine with me too
