Reading philosophy is some cuck shit. You're letting another person review life for you.

While studying so i can get a good enough grade to the collage i wanted to get to , i came to a realization that i don't really want to get into this collage , i don't want to get a job , get married , have kids who will live on to do the same and so on , so what was my purpose here why was i born and why am i spending my entire life working very hard just to achieve goals set by other humans , when you think about it that way , everything becomes pointless and our existence doesn't have a purpose anymore . Any help? i sometimes wish i didn't come to this realization.