I have returned from my great midnight adventure: getting onion rings at the local mega-gas station.
The cook talked me into getting a double cheeseburger also. Or maybe he just talked me into paying more. Either way, the point it that it is his fault, not my gluttony.
I am late getting back because the place was over run by zergs and I had to pay the civilizational zerg time-tax. Apparently in sub-Saharan Africa, it is considered normal to bring a family of five, including two toddlers, one riding a bicycle around the store, and an infant in a bassinet into the check out while negotiating with the cashier.
Every fourth zerg transaction goes something like this:
"Let me get this."
"No wait, what is that?"
"How much is it?"
"Ok never mind just give me the first one."
"Wait, I forgot something, I'll be right back"
*line waits for him to find what he forgot and come back
"Imma use this card."
*doesnt work
"Ok Imma use this other card"
*doesnt work
"Ok I have to make a phone call to get the right pin"
*wait for phone call on speakerphone at full blast to finish
*realizes that there is no money on whatever card it is
"Ok Imma just pay cash- how much is it?"
* dumps pile of loose change on counter
* doesnt have enough
"Yo bro you have fitty cent? Ma'am?"
*someone eventually just gives it to him to move this spectacle along
And finally after 10 minutes, a simple transaction for a dollar fitty cigar is finished and civilization somewhat resumes.
So if there are 16 zergs in the store, expect a ~ forty minute wait.
For extra fun, add a cashier who learned English on Thursday.