I can't even talk about my problems here they're too complex. Might as well say i'm just fucked. I'm too far gone. I'm so far up the metaphorical ass even if i climb out of it all i'm going to see is asscheeks. I'm just fundamentally broken and nothing can fix it even if i spend a shitload of time and money into it. I'm destined to die alone because i'm mentally ill and not the cool kind of mentally ill like BPD, psychopathy or narcissism
I don't plan my suicide because i know when the time comes i will just grab the nearest sharp object and stab my throat multiple times until i start gargling on my own blood. That's the manliest way to go right after harakiri or a gunshot to the temple.