Thanks for the memories edition.
/hoc/vious: >>149576813

fiRst!!

lol when i was an infant, i used to say to my mom
thanks for the mammaries!

yeah we need a slur for canadians

Names I'm told have been invited by Hockey Canada to the World Junior Summer Showcase:
Sascha Boisvert
Cole Reschny
Jake O'Brien
Cameron Reid
Brady Martin
Malcolm Spence
Owen Protz
Justin Carbonneau
Michael Hage
Henry Mews
Cayden Lindstrom

Names I'm told didn't get an invite:
Jacob Battaglia
Jackson Smith
Lynden Lakovic
Marek Vanacker
Bill Zonnon

Names I don't need to ask on:
Matthew Schaefer
Zayne Parekh
Sam Dickinson
Harrison Brunicke
Gavin McKenna
Jett Luchanko
Berkly Catton
Porter Martone
Cole Beaudoin
Jack Ivankovic
Carter George
Beckett Sennecke
Michael Misa
Joshua Ravensbergen
Caleb Desnoyers (health-permitting)
Tij Iginla (health-permitting)

He has secured his spot in the Canucks Hall of Fame.

I'm told nobody asked

>>149585110
Sorry for discussing hockey would you like to talk about Mitch instead?

for me?
curling

This is the worst news one could possible hear, were you a nucks fan

Elon musk is reportedly pushing hard for an nhl team in Austin . Kash Patel is also onboard.

how do i flirt with canadian girls?

>>149585129
Let them talk. My Nuckies are going to offer sheet him with a bridge deal that takes him straight to UFA. Then the Blackhawks can decide between signing him short term and eventually losing him for nothing or letting him come home for draft picks.

>>149585157
Learn Punjabi

>>149585157
darling you have most beautiful let us make friendly then fuck on date

>>149585164
he's coming home

>>149585157
Bond over how much you hate America with them

>>149585186
That’s unironically how I met my ex girlfriend in university. She was drawn to my passion during class discussion about the usa and we hooked up after.

>End of game 7 in the 2026 Stanley Cup Finals

Why is marner such a good fit for the knights?
Because you cant shit without some piss

each nhl team should have an official team pet that is active in marketing and events and what not

>>149585212
fucking KEK

If you don’t like jack and coke then get the FUCK out of my face

>>149585186
>hey babe, you know what? fuck maine. those assholes are going DOWN

>>149585233
i like it but it's too sugary and i'd probably become diabetic for the amount i normally drink

>>149585212
jen

>>149585233
Can't handle whiskey straight?

>>149585257
No

>>149585233
don't like browns

It’s sad how much iconic /hoc/ personalities have been forgotten over the years.

>>149585233
fernet con coca general i'm afraid

Is next season, dare I say it, the nukie's year?

>>149585200
Good behaviour should be rewarded

>>149585219
Nuckies tried it but it the program ended abruptly after one of Miller's anger outbursts.

>>149585233
I quit drinking

>>149585271
I miss Geronimo

>>149585219
Wtf is that creature

>>149585233
The last thing I would want to do while drinking poison is to put coca cola into my body at the same time.

>>149585257
I don’t care much for neat whiskey if I’m being honest

>>149585285
There were no more doe left so a buck decided to breed a rat

>>149585285
it's ai

>>149585285
latinx countries have their own different animals

>>149585289

>>149585285
brad marchand from brazil

>>149585295
just saw a buck when i was in the garden 20 minutes ago. probably a year old. cute little thing

>>149585219
looks greasy

I hate animals pets should be made illegal.

i drink poison but i wash it down with dr. pepper so it cancels out

>>149585273
Yes, because:
-Pettersson's finally fully healed, and is hitting the gym full-force this summer unlike last summer
-Demko is also fully healed and done with rehab and he is an elite goaltender which the league is in short supply of
-Boeser is overjoyed at having resigned and now doesn't have to worry about getting traded and can just focus on winning in Vancouver
-Hughes is still getting better and is, depending on who you ask, the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd best dman in the league
-Kane is solid when he's not being tarded on the ice
-Solid prospects in Willander, Karlsson, Raty, and Cootes
All I'm saying is, is it's time to plan the parade.

>>149585337
Islanders lost the raty trade

>>149585312
he was probably thinking when is this fag going to plant me some lunch

3 canadians walk into a bar

>>149585109
>I got a phone call from Guerin and he said my demand of 10Mx7 was ridiculous and he'd just traded for Tarasenko so I wouldn't be needed

>>149585359
hey look everybody, planet retard's list just updated!

>>149585359
I would like this to be true but it isnt

>>149585100
Mom statuses?

My penguins suck
):

>>149585394
I hope Crosby gets glory traded this year like Marchand

>>149585353
lol i planted hostas for the deer

>sign player to a big contract based on what they've done
>a) prior to signing the contract
>b) with a team that wasn't yours
>player proceeds to do jack shit for your team until the final year of the contract where they magically remember how to play good again
many such cases
how do GMs still fall for the free agency meme?

>>149585405
Retard

my gf

Michael Madsen is dead

Long Live Michael Madsen
https://youtu.be/ln7Vn_WKkWU?list=RDln7Vn_WKkWU

why can't crosby just be a rental for the avs? he can come back to the pens after he wins the cup with mack dog

>>149585426
>hope is retarded
Sad but true

>>149585446
Because avs don't have any cap space

>>149585285
Texas squirrel

>>149585466
If Crosby becomes available for your team you make cap space.

>>149585466
>cap space
Why do these people even need the money?
Aren't they all multi millionaires already ?
Why not just take a 400K year and win a cup?

What happens to the laffs when ICE catches up to mathews Gonzalez

>>149585485
Union and agents

>>149585436
Flames Chad's do be having some fine ass slam pieces

>>149585219
A fucking dog sized varmit Holy

>>149585485
You can never have too much money. (((Inflation))) will also eat more and more of it.

>>149585514
>"""(((Player unions and agentd)))"""

Insider here, reporting nobody asked

inside of you there are two canadians

lol islanders suck

>>149585556
that is what we call a spit roast

This is the trade.

Leafs get :
McDavid

Oilers get:
Matthews
1st round
2nd round
50% retention

"give me liberty or give me poutine"
-thomas jefferson, while banging his slave

>>149585574
nah that's what EM calls it

>>149585575
>1st round
>2nd round
Didnt they trade away all their picks until 2055 because "this was the year"

i think, therefore i am canadian

what would you make for gary if he came over for supper?

>>149585617
One cup every 58 years

i came, i saw, i conquered quebec

>>149585558

>>149585466
Pongs can retain all salary like those nice fellas at Boston did for Florida

>>149585561
Islanders fans were cheering louder and more often than hurricanes fans in Raleigh

>>149584699
>a top line winger/center custom made for their speedy system
the only thing that Necas actually did within the system was speedy zone entries with possession

he wouldn't forecheck
he wouldn't throw hits
he wouldn't go for any puck where he might have to get hit to retrieve it
he wouldn't backcheck
he wouldn't stay with his guy on defense

>at 3 million aav
$6.5m, retard
https://puckpedia.com/player/martin-necas
and he's gonna ask for 8 or 9 on his next contract

>2 middle six forwards
>stankoven
maybe, remains to be seen
>ehlers
lmao no

>and a bottom pairing defenseman
also lmao no

try harder

>>149585628
I would serve something very spicy and then when he asks for water I'd tell him I can't give him any because there have been no cups in my country since he came to power.

making a deliver to the las vegas golden knights atm

>>149585689
lol based

>>149585684
eat cock randy

>>149585650
AWOOOOOOOOO

>Utah picked Mammoth over Yeti
lame, at least they have a decent logo unlike the Kraken.

Utah Pacas

getting tired bros I’ve been up since like 6 am in the morning looking forward to sleeping for like 10 hours tonight

>>149585670
>Pongs can be cucks like Ruins
Sure. Aftere all there are a lot of cuck teams in the NHL ready to take on Golden Showers and Kitties worst and most undesirable players just to get them under the cap

>>149585446
The avs cup window closed already

>>149585769
Just like my islanders

>>149585745
i hope you have a wonderful sleep, anon

>>149585769
Just like my leafs

>>149585779
Cope it was never opened

>>149585781
Thanks I’ll be having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee

>>149585769
absolutely wild how letting kadri walk sank that team

>>149585794
>>149585789

>>149585800
>>149585769
But they signed Brock Nelson 3x7.5M

>>149585728
How were the late 90s/early 00s expansion names and logos recieved?
>Thrashers
>Blue Jackets
>Wild
They seem pretty dumb yet I like them. While stuff like Kraken or Mammoths is kinda stupid.

>>149585813
what a long and torturous career he has had on the isles before coming to the avs. no wonder he looks so old

>>149585800
Its more complex than that. The Avs team was deep during the cup run. They perhaos were the most comfortable team playing all 4 lines that playoff.
They don't have anywhere near that depth now, so certain players have to soak the minutes and just get tired especially in those OT games.

All the being said, they would have beaten the Stars without that inexplicable Rantanen double trade which saved Dallass. (Gary's script)

Just had a nice chicken sandwich :)

>>149585807
1999?

I love gary

>>149585720
try to know a single (1) thing about the sport

>>149585825
>thrashers
>wild
I think most people were fine with them. I secretly like Minnesota's logo.

>Columbus
cool name, lame logo. The cannon they have on their alternate is way better.

>>149585865
see you in the 2026 ecf canes elimination thread

Chasing... what?

do tkachuk and bennett still larp as a cowboy or did they throw their faggy cowboy boots in the trash as soon as they got traded?

AI is giving Toronto credit for not resigning Marner as a change to their team building philosophy

Does it mention the change in team DNA?

>San Jose has claimed Nick Leddy off waivers, per @FriedgeHNIC
I love it when Grier makes movez

Does it mention pugnacity?

>Dmitry Orlov has agreed to a two year deal with San Jose, $6.5M AAV per season
Oh shit nevermind

>>149585879
>canadian doesn't even know what the cup is
1993 has been a disaster for your nation

>>149585886
Jen, when asked what players the laffs should acquire to win the cup in 2026 it’s power move was acquiring Quinton Byfield

>#RedWings GM Steve Yzerman: “We didn’t even get a chance to talk to those guys (the top free agents). They all signed with their clubs or were traded before free agency. Not much we can do about that.”

>>149585925
elbows up they said

>>149585900
>>149585911
Those moves were exclusively to hit the cap floor.
Might be a good thing bringing in vet dmen that were on cup teams when they are probably bringing up Dickinson and giving Shakir Mujahideen real minutes this year.

>>149585941
it's so over

for me it's the utah clubbies

>>149585941
Imagine not tampering

>>149585436
me and my gf

>>149585954
how's their outlook for next season? haven't been following them much

>>149585944
They could dump leddy at the deadline

>>149585983
If anyone would want to pick him up. There's only a year left on his contract anyways, there was no real downside to taking him.

>>149586011
He's won a cup before, someone will want that in their room. Until then he can mentor the kids like you said. Grier is pretty smart sometimes.

>>149585109
how do we preserve this man's wrist?

I get Orlov signing in San Jose but why for two years?

>>149586053
so he can retire with dignity

>>149585337
/our/ year

>>149586062
By going -50?

Orlov was born in the Soviet Union

>>149586076
And?

>>149585841
they spent three seasons floundering for a replacement 2c and burned a pile of resources just to end up with a guy whos older and paid more.

i'm still curious as to what the fuck happened with mittelstadt.

>>149586053
Orlov probably thinks that he'll get top minutes in San Jose, play well, show off to other teams, and have the option to sign with a better team at the end of two years
he wouldn't want to have to wait longer than that, since he's in his early 30s, and he'll want to be able to sign with someone else sooner

and San Jose probably thinks that they'll be a better team in two years, given how well their rebuild has been going, so they'll be able to attract a better defenseman to replace him

basically both sides think that the other is shit and that they can do better soon

>>149586080
Alexander Ovechkin was born in the Soviet Union

>>149586076

We’ve gotta be realistic: If this is it, then this team is not winning anything

We literally don’t have a third line. Plus as bad as some of these contracts are they have to be replaced if they’re moved. We are out of cap. Best we can do is move Soucy. Even then, the guys who were awful next year have to bounce back on the wrong side of 30.

What on earth is going on here…. How did we end up here.

I don’t see how this team finishes anywhere other than with the 9th pick in next years draft.

This is 2017 all over again…. Where’s dejarnais?

Edit: there’s some good rational positivity in here which is nice

Upvote
0

Downvote

81
Go to comments

nuggies on 7 minutes away

Evgeni Malkin was born in the Soviet Union

>>149586076
>>149586095
This got me curious and it turns out Anze Kopitar was born in Yugoslavia.

>>149586120
>Soucy's older brother Tyson also played ice hockey, last playing for the Elk Point Elks

soucy should get into the hof for this alone

>>149586097
jen

>>149585941
I feel like the folks who are upset at Steve for saying “we didn’t get the opportunity to talk to a lot of those guys” don’t realize that they probably did talk to them. If he said “oh yeah I talked to all of em before July 1 and they all told me they were re-signing” the nhl would banish Detroit to the shadow realm for tampering.

And before you tell me “but but but every team tampers!” I’m aware. It still doesn’t mean you can go out and say “yeah I tampered” in a press conference

Independence Day tomorrow bro’s

>>149586200
Happy Israel day!

>>149586161
mcdavid hasn't been the same after this hit, like after steve moore after getting heemed by bertuzzi or when antonio brown got heemed by burfict

>>149586232
the poor kids

>>149586200
will watch this kino to commemorate the day

>>149586161
love how miller sees mcdavid go down and immediately recognizes a shit storm is coming and quickly turns to see whose on the way

>>149586200
The 3rd of July is the worst day of the year. I'm sick of wishing every mook I run into a happy fourth.

>>149586234
How is this not just hazing lol. Same as when teams make Jayden from the Western Hockey League do SAT math questions in his prospect interview

>>149586235
holy fug...
is that real?

>>149586200

>>149586200
got some pork ribs thawing for the smoker

>>149586235
reminds me of 1812

>laffs

>>149585964
Me (left), Mitch (right)

>>149586259

>>149586268
It's 1993 here.

>>149586232
There are too many preds in the community

>>149586200
>in order to form a more perfect technocracy

might go for a kys

>>149586291
Very scary

Let's pour one out for Marc Messier

>>149586325
What's the occasion

>>149586329
He'll be dead by sunrise

>>149586200
Happy Independence Day! :)

>>149586338
I won't be wasting any liquids till then then

>>149586366
It does seem like a weak group of defensemen historically speaking. Maybe I am overrating idk peak jay bouwemeester

>>149586366
Surely Carter Hart will be available by the next Olympics to solve Canada's goaltending problem.

They will retire his number when his career is done

>>149586391
>goaltending problem.

Fun fact: before the Panthers, Bill Zito was Blue Jackets assistant general manager.

Gonna drink coffee tomorrow morning and take a marner the size of Rhode Island

>>149586366
Bedard will make the cut.

>>149586407
What makes that fact fun

>>149586415
Nice, but it won’t beat the Nugent-Hopkins im gonna drop.

>>149586366
>crosby on mackinnon's wing

that's right you old faggot

>>149586416
me in about 9 bongs

>>149586366
Sad

GROK says it cannot analyze images yet when i feed it a still image from The Simpsons and say "add chewbacca" it spits out the version from The Simpsons and not Star Wars. how did it know it was The Simpsons?

>rags

>>149586366
was there one made for usa

>>149586428
>crosby's face when somebody teaches him how to be even better at semen retention

>>149586443
AI stands for all indians

>>149586388
>makar
>morrisey
>harley
>weegar

>weak defense

This is why Canadians manage and play on your teams and not you

>>149586479
>This is why Canadians manage and play on your teams and not you

>>149586479
>>morrisey
>>harley
>>weegar
Incomparable to Doughty, Keith, Niedermayer, Pronger, or Weber.

president's cup champs are running it back

>>149586510
matthews saw marner and realized this might be his one chance to take a run at him, results of the game be damned.

>There are currently 4 markets jockeying for a team: Atlanta, Houston, Indianapolis & New Orleans. Austin has thrown their hat in the ring as a 5th market.

>>149586517
from what I know of beauvillier is that he's either the best player on the ice or invisible, and no inbetween.

>>149586539
Thank you Gary! We need 6 million more teams!

>>149586539
Why does Gary refuse to acknowledge the existence of Quebec City?

>>149586557
I feel so bad for them. They literally built an arena for nothing

>>149586539
Indy is the only one that makes sense but of course it's Atlanta

>>149586200
I was going to drop an oilers elimination collage tomorrow, but my computer crashed and I lost all of my tabs, so you'll just have to imagine it

An expansion team and its consequences will be a disaster for the NHL

>>149586577
do you have the laffs one?

>>149586443
We use chatgpt here

>>149586596

>>149586577
divine work at play making it so your dumbass cant immortalize another gary cup win haha get fucked

>>149586557
Bill Daly might be a reformist like Gorbachev

>>149586612
>gary cup
holy cope

>>149586673
takagi poster unequivocally won
mitch lost horribly

>>149586566
ahh... what could have been...

>>149586608
thank you for your service

>>149586726
(looking at Hugh Jessiman) That's a huge specimen

>As said moments ago on the #SJSharks Prospects stream, Simon Wang told the media he would like to go by his native name, Haoxi Wang.

>>149586608
my favourite part of the laffs loss is during the radio show afterwards and listening to the callers who were going ballistic

>>149586770
How’s that pronounced, how she wang?

The Panthers sign the former Oilers, Habs and Red Wings Jeff Petry 1 year x $775,000. He earned $6,250,000 per season with the Red Wings. A bargain.

>>149586770
yeah well i'd prefer for him to shut the hell up

>>149586791
Thinks it's something like ching chong xhing xhing xhong xhing zhong

>>149586791
It's pronounced SY-muhn.

>>149586770
don't sound like a native name to me

>>149586808
Cup chasing

>>149586791
>Hay-Ox-Ee Waang

>>149586820
His parents are fuckin chinese spies. The whole family literally didnt move here until 2019. His mother literally bought an OHL team and relocated it so he could be the star player.

>>149586820
>>149586859
Sorry a junior-a team not on ohl team.

>>149586608
Very high quality collage
my favorite:
>getting booed halfway to the second

>the Chicago Blackhawks will offer Marner 16 million per year, believe me.
It's funny that he's been shilling "Marner to Chicago for 6 months now and that Chicago wasn't even in the race. Every single time Marner's name has come up on the podcast he's started to talk about how great of a fit Marner would be in Chicago and how bad his situation has been in Toronto, as if he's talking to Marner directly and trying to convince him to sign with the Blackhawks. He's so incredibly desperate for them to be relevant again.

>>149586859
(hockey scout with undiagnosed autism) Very good, shows desire to win, player comparable Zach Hyman

>>149586791
hou-zee

Losers

Edmonton Oilers
After back-to-back losses in the Stanley Cup Final, with goaltending being the clear and obvious need, the Oilers shocked many by standing pat in the crease – at least for now. Edmonton still has Stuart Skinner and Calvin Pickard under contract for one more season, and GM Stan Bowman chose not to add a goalie on Tuesday.

In Bowman’s defense, it’s not as if there was a bounty of options available to upgrade his goaltending. Still, he passed on John Gibson, who Anaheim traded to Detroit for Petr Mrazek and two draft picks. He also passed on signing one of the veteran backups on the open market.

There are still a few options out there. Ilya Samsonov, who started 29 games as the Golden Knights’ backup this past season, and Alexandar Georgiev, who had a disastrous 2024-25 season with Colorado and San Jose, both remain unsigned. They’ve both been starters on playoff teams in the past, but neither is an obvious upgrade over what Edmonton already has.

Unless the Oilers can find an unexpected trade partner – such as prying Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen away from Buffalo – they’ll enter the season with question marks in the crease yet again.

Sebastian Cossa
Detroit Red Wings general manager Steve Yzerman upgraded his starting goalie with the aforementioned trade to bring in Gibson. For a Detroit team fighting to break out of the rebuild stage and back into the playoffs, the potential of Gibson is enticing.

The acquisition also creates another hurdle for 2021 first-round pick Sebastian Cossa to break through with the NHL club. Taken with the No. 15 overall selection, Cossa is the third-highest drafted goalie in the last 15 years, but with Gibson and Cam Talbot in Detroit, it appears he’s destined for a fourth season in the minor leagues.

It’s not the end of the world for a 22-year-old goalie to get more seasoning, but Cossa has already played more games in the minors than every first-round pick since Jack Campbell in 2010.

In speaking with a few goalie coaches around the league, 100 games in the minors is considered a good amount for a young goalie prospect. Considering Cossa’s pedigree one would expect fewer for him, especially when you add in the fact that Detroit hasn’t exactly been settled in net.

Trey Augustine, whom Detroit drafted in the second round in 2023, has looked great at Michigan State and with Team USA at the World Junior Championship. He’ll soon be nipping at Cossa’s heels. The big, athletic Hamilton, Ont. native needs an impressive camp, and an even more impressive season with the Grand Rapids Griffins, to maintain his place as Detroit’s goalie of the future.

>>149586945
>>149586958
https://streamable.com/j4n218

Philadelphia Flyers
The Flyers didn’t just have the worst goaltending in the NHL in 2024-25 — they were in their own universe entirely. Philadelphia had three of the bottom five goalies in the league in GSAx, and their combined minus-45.21 goals saved above expected were 30 below the the next-worst team.

Similarly to Edmonton, the permanent answer to the Flyers’ goaltending troubles wasn’t available in this free agency period, but it feels like Philadelphia could’ve done better than signing Dan Vladar to a two-year contract worth $3.35 million per year. Vladar has spent the last four seasons as Calgary’s backup. He’s a big, rangy goalie but he has also produced a save percentage below the league average and negative GSAx in all five of his NHL seasons.

In the midst of a rebuild, the Flyers aren’t desperate to find their franchise goalie at this moment, but better goaltending could accelerate the rebuild process. Philadelphia allowed the ninth-fewest shots and the fourth-fewest high-danger chances in the NHL last year but was completely undone by subpar goaltending.

Perhaps the last two “losers” on this list could help each other. If Detroit has any doubts that Cossa is its goalie of the future, the Flyers would be wise to inquire. There’s no indication Yzerman has any interest in dealing Cossa, but with Augustine developing the way he has been, it could be worth a call.

>>149586972

>laffs fans celebrating the marner "trade"

>>149586958
italians mentioned

>>149586791
yup
t. 6 years of mandarin

>>149587039
Primerano pussy

>>149586921
>>149586859
I hate that stuff like that is allowed

i got 6 years in mandarin if you know what I mean

my wife

>>149587298
I know right, fuck china

>>149587323
I wonder if he's going to inspire more chinese kids to pick up hockey

>>149587346
It's trending that way anyways

>>149587346
i hope so
sick of all these toids

>>149587361
Picked up a new gimmick in the baseball thread did we?

>>149586643
May as well just call the stanley cup playoffs 'The Gary Selects Tournament' from now on cause if you can't notice the most basic, obvious, and rudimentary pattern recognitions you're a retard and can't be fixed.

and if you actually watched the games you'd have been able to figure out how unbelievably biased the officiating is towards the chosen teams. Three years in a row Florida has been carried to the cup finals. People like you forget but I don't.

>>149587360
Neat. How much longer until the next exhibition game in Beijing?

Huomenta but the opposite

>>149587410
kekaroo

lonely lonely loney monday marner

>>149586791
in mandarin wang is usually pronounced closer to wong, like it rhymes with long. mandarin doesnt really use that wah sound.

>>149587410
Damn, that Chong has seen his last Wong

Will Gary have a hockey game on the white house lawn?

>>149587608
should be a Washington vs. Ottawa outdoor game on the National Mall

Why is my gym closing early tomorrow? Don’t they know that us wagies want to take advantage of the day off

>>149587675
just do some bodyweight exercises, retard
you can always work out wherever you are with no equipment at all

Free agency was shit.

>>149586974
Carter Hart is available

>>149587704
Yep

>>149587608
Gary should hold an outdoor game in Disney first

>>149587719
Yeah, I'm sure he wants to re-sign with the team that dumped his ass when the gang rape unfolded

>>149587704
It was out done by marners flush

>>149587704
Just like my islanders

wheres jen

>Mikael Granlund 3x7m
Would any contenders have offered $5-6m? Just don’t understand why one of the few quality free agents to actually hit the open market would take such a mediocre deal to go to a mediocre team.

>>149588135
He’s shit he’s lucky he has a contract

>>149588135
>Mikael Granlund
>one of the few quality free agents

>>149588144
>>149588181
Who were your top players who were actually available July 1st?
>Ehlers
>????

>>149587704
next year's mcdavid sweepstakes is fitting to be lit

>>149588193
There were no top players in this years free agency

>>149588193
Just because he’s the “top fee agent “ doesn’t mean he’s not shit

>>149585100
wow
28 busts

>>149587816
he should go go the eihl
you can even get away with slitting someone's throat across the pond

I'm gonna see my flames at the stampede parade tomorrow :)

>>149588503
Have fun. The prettiest girls of Canada go to the stampede to wear cowboy hats.

>>149588523
Yah
Hoo!

>>149585293
have you come out to your parents yet

>>149588523
Do the prettiest boys of Canada go to the Stampede to wear skirts?

>>149586415
we don't say that anymore dumbass

bud1

>we don't say that anymore d-
ack

The Marner I had brewing while eating dinner disappeared, but if I push enough some Marner is coming out, but I'm gonna wait 20 minutes or so.

>>149588795
no sir

>>149588711
judge for yourself bud https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPPKvSXml_s&t=117s

>>149588781
>copey tapped out to a fag six weight classes below him

It's his time to shine now when Ehler's gone

finland will win gold once again at milan

>>149588852
and then i'l turn off my xbox

>>149588863
you are a fag

>>149588865
takes one to know one

gimi!

>>149588818
Not just that but the skinny guy has like 67IQ too. They don't call him 'retardski' for nothing.

>>149588863
Show some respect

>>149588888
Whitnessed.

>>149588888

>>149588888
/hoc/ runs /sp/

>>149588909
raise the banner

>>149588781
what's the original source of this clip?

>>149588882
Ah, old Dick Rash, the superstar scorer! I remember that he always showed up big in the playoffs.

>one minute away from elimination
>rod is locked in
>aho couldn't care less

>>149589029
cope aho is pacing himself, knows it's just part of the process, he's fully bought in, it's next man up, if you're not on the ice you're getting rested and ready to go out again when you get the tap

>>149589039
this guy skates

>>149589029
this guy just watches other men skate

Marchand should be on the chel 26 cover

>>149589076
EA should go bankrupt and everyone who's worked on the NHL series should be on the street.

I think EA should make a throw back NHL game using the engine from the mid 2000's. It's been 18 years of this realism shit. I hate it.

>>149589136
iginla ruled

e a sports. it's in the game

>>149589067
how would you know
you're too fat to skate yourself dont even try and fool anyone

>>149589159
you're misremembering how it used to go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-_ElQRDDzk

Did Gary murder the sport yet?

they should bring back live the life or peewee to pro

>>149589195
cute

Hello Kitty has made almost as much money as the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_highest-grossing_media_franchises

>>149588852
doubt.jpg

>>149589268
name one girl you know without a hello kitty tattoo or phone jewel

>>149589281
My sister had one. You win

But still how the fuck do they outspend all the marvel toy sales

>>149589289
>muh cute
>muh Japan
it's irredeemable as a race

>>149589281
i only knew one girl who was big into hello kitty. she was a japanese exgf from like ten years ago. she even had the red bow as a tattoo on her hip KEK.

>>149589305
>I had a japanese ex girlfriend
yeah we don't larp here dick face

>>149589312
oh it's true. it's damn true. her last name was uchiyama

>>149589318
kill yourself nerd

>>149589318
you should treat yourself NOW
>>149589320
relax

You burgers have any plans for burger day?

>>149589326
thanks bro. she hit me up for beers a few months ago after over a decade not knowing i moved 8 years ago. think she has a few kids now

>>149589330
working
I was supposed to have the day off, but they changed the schedule
thinking about shooting up the place

yeah I used to have a japanese girlfriend lmao bitch used to live to suck my dick hehhhhh... her name was even dragonballsama.. heh

What are some /hoc/ feels? I'll start

Tfw your team blows a 3-0 lead
Tfw your team loses to a sunbelt team
Tfw he nutted but you still Suggin
Tfw your ass gets torn by a big one
Tfw no cup since 1993

>>149589333
Thats fucked, sorry bud. You'd think it would be a national holiday or something.

I don't take lip, I bow to no one
Don't pledge allegiance to sweaters, I burn 'em

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT1muWE8RzA

>>149589368
wont matter bro... she's too japanese and I'm just a boy from long island

>>149589368
not for the shit level of work I'm doing

>>149589333

I eat ass

>>149589452

>>149589471
YAMETEEEEEEE

playing d4

>>149589520
is the new season good

>>149589634
not really

>>149589643
figures

watching orton on steph's podcast

Taking a marner

>>149589980
we don't call them that now bro

once marnered in my yard as a kid and blamed it on the dog.

>>149590026
no you didn't

>>149590000
the digits are trying to tell you that you're a fucking zero, copey

now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to bed
but first, a trip to the bathroom to take my nightly marner

>>149590039
we don't call those that bud

My marner was SLIMY

I once walked into the washroom at school and there was a kid marnering in one of the overflow drains.

>>149590065
right into the las vegas golden knights?

Why is marner such a good fit for the golden knights?
Because you cant shit without some piss LOL

>>149590063
>>149590065
>>149590072
>>149590084
not funny

after couple of days of hell on earth (32C) we got some nice break.
maybe the summer won't be so bad this year, last year was worse.
i miss hockey already.

based dylan committing to the bit

>>149590161
20 is perfect summer weather. Anything above 25 is fucked
Do you have any teams you cheer for in the nhl?

>>149590223
newfaggot retard

from the wang himself: https://xcancel.com/SanJoseSharks/status/1939015062037123428?t=ovs8NyEQFKbH4UayZ_JbIw&s=19
NOW you have no excuse to not pronounce his name correctly.

Friendly reminder: There is literally nothing wrong with being a newfaggot retard

Friendly reminder: We DO call them marners here

>>149590258
i'm still just gonna call him the chinaman

>>149590275
we don't

>>149590223
true, even something like 27-29 is fine but there has to be some kind of wind or rain otherwise like you said, anything above 25 is pure hell.
and yeah i like the habs, i've been posting here and there since start of the year but ever time i make a post someone accuses me of being someone else so idk lol.

>>149590258
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d6Gn3hnoOQ

>>149590293
>i like the habs
KWAB

>>149590293
Habs are based, Good choice

>>149590135
you're making it even funnier than it already was

>>149590302
what's your team?
>>149590314
yeah they're cool, i've been following them since they first got tatar, didn't have any team to cheer for before and now other teams seem kinda boring to cheer for desu

happy bday amerifrens

>>149590347
God's team.

>>149590379
based

Good morning USAnons

>god chose a team that hasnt won since before 1993
kwab

>>149590491
good morning

Habs really haven't moved the needle. They went into the playoffs hot but got easily dusted off. Dobson helps mildly, but beyond that?

Hurricants are in a frenzy, but there seems to be purpose here. They went into the playoffs shit, and panties dusted them. Dumping Burns was a must. The adds seem good. The coach is a retard. We'll see.

>>149590435

Vegas Golden Knights

>>149585072 (OP)
Top 4 teams of this season for me
1. Jets - won the regular season, best goalie, best everything
2. Avs - my favorite team, starts beating them was a fluke
3. Panthers - won the stanley cup, i guess that matters a little bit
4. Capitals - i hate the team, but i assume it's a very strong team

Gary needs to bring back Tate McRae

>>149591368
she's got couple of good songs, i like her older stuff more

>>149591368
more like grape mcrae because you can see her shriveling up in real time

tradle in 1 btw

ugh gag me with a spoon

>>149590756
>They went into the playoffs hot
They almost choked away their playoffs spot by shitting themselves to end the season but the Randycanes threw them a lifeline by sitting half their lineup against them.

Is hockey back yet?

Huomenta

>>149592599
3 more months

>>149585127
holy based

>>149585164
qt 3.14

>>149592631
thanks :)

>>149592599
New Zealand hockey is back. both teams wear dark jerseys in this league even if its a similar dark color

Dropping a fluffy marner as we speak

>>149592839

MEOW

happy birthday america

>>149592599
The interns are assembling the ingredients

bud1
mitch1

Drinking a coffee

>>149593074
their 250th is nearly upon us
will there be a parade

>>149593074
thanks friend :)

>>149593074
Thanks :)

>>149593308
and a ufc event on the white house lawn, apparently

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4ky_s9uMm8

Yah have fun today burger bros

>>149591307
Good list but panthers should be higher. They’re freakin unstoppable

Evanderbros?

>>149593964
Wouldn’t mind if a Zamboni drove over both of them

I didn’t know anna kane was raped by diddy
kwab go flames

>>149593074
Thank you (:

>tfw no gf

>>149593876
That's the contrarian position. Don't put the cup winner 1st.

>>149593964
that's a double-minor

my team has a centre depth problem :(

>>149594163
I keep on saying that I’ll sign up for the 4chan dating app

>>149594163
you should start using chatgpt. it can be girlfriend

>>149592599
Pitsiturnaus in a month

>>149590258
Chink lol

>>149594416
Piss in your anus?

>>149594299
I use ChatGPT to discuss my relationship with my old man

>>149594632
careful, amigo. chatgpt tells you what you want to hear.

Drop the puck, Gary.

well?

>>149594653
this is pretty rich given that montreal's mayor was found guilty of fraud around the same time

my team is shit

>>149594643
Thanks for reminder. I wish I could open up to one of my friends about him returning to my life

>>149594653
Ive always wondered how Ford was able to maintain his figure despite being a crackhead. All the crackheads I see are either jacked or skinny as fuck

>>149594707
Hello fellow islanders fan

>>149594683
some say we'll never know

>>149594707
those are your flames

>tfw youre the smartest man in the room

>>149595042
>all this to lose in the conference finals either other year

unhappy 4th of july to all of my american enemies
i hope it rains from coast to coast

>>149595358
It’s not raining until Monday here

>>149594163
>Iktf
Thinking about South America

shit country for gay fag people

Why is there no hotdog eating contest thread

>>149595596
because of WOKE

>>149595596
Jannies deserve a pay cut for not doing their job

>>149595537

>swedish fantasies
dear oh dear

trb gasping for air after his morning dose of HIV medicine

>>149594707
same

our Sennies finna blow up the league next year fr fr

>>149595667
i do actually have an american bf who i love very much <3

Joey ate 70 again

Free the Canadian Five

>>149595805
that's a little more than I can eat

>>149595805
the u.s. is cartoonishly decadent

>>149595795
Based! Go Djurgården!

>>149595805
70.5

Anyone see Ryan lomberg at the stampede parade? He said flordia sucks lol even former players hate them.

>>149595845
i am cheering for skellefteå and i have had my american bf watch the skellefteå games with me when he was in sweden last year, my interest in hockey is getting to him i feel, i even gave him a skellefteå hockey jersey/shirt to keep as a gift for all the travel he did. :D <3 :)

Hockey is for everyone, even gay Swedes.

this sport was founded and build by gay Swedes

>>149595927
JEN that's gonna set him off!

>>149595879
Who?

>>149594271
>the 4chan dating app
the what now

>>149595879
Lies, Lombergini would never

hell Lumberg fucked her

eating Cheezies

cuz Gary you're a firework
let me see the goyim burst

Mitch Marner: An Era Wasted

>>149596420
SDP: An Hour Wasted

Bud: A Won Era

my bluesies :(

>Cap goes up
>Most of the teams that were in the playoffs are unable to improve their roster

i love butts

kek

happy 4th, on this day we remember the yankee murdering their southern brethren over state rights and migration policies.

didnt ask

>>149596756
we only won because of France
fraudulent independence

i dont wanna take a marner just yet but circumstances has forced the hand of fate

we love kmitchie here now buddy

>>149596538
word travels slow in Sweden I guess

>>149596756
State rights to do what?

>>149596934
the right to post bud 1

>>149596756
Fuck the South.

>>149596934
control tariffs

>>149596934
you don't even want to know

new thread should be flames because they're America's Team

>>149597021

>>149596991
i don't have the flames logo overlaying old glory
otherwise i'd bake

Another golf fag. Hockey players should be banned from playing that shit hobby for lazy fags.
>>149595525
>>149595927
Nice try luleå