2nd Test, Bulawayo, Day 1 stumps
SA 4/465

Zimbabwe won the toss

YFO

England lost lol

Australia won lol

grire

>>149652552
>>149652630
keKkkkk

>>149652552
>>149652718
keKkkkkKkkk

Is this the worst case of nepotism in British sporting history?

>>149656616
Here's the full list for anyone who wants it.

>>149656738
he's also got the (tied) fewest centuries out of that list

my sisters averaging over 50 with the bat this English summer

Cleaned my house this weekend
Feeling good

Yank here to save the thread

>>149658217
you seen his session with the cards?
https://youtu.be/VeE5zqNDn_U

not a single charismatic yank at the cards, very somber reminder that Americans do not want to expand the potential MLB audience

holy shit guys TURN ON THE NEWS

>>149658355
FOUND GUILTY
U
I
L
T
Y

>>149656738
You mean the 'he's inconsistent but goes big' meme is based off 4 fucking ceturies lmao

>>149658411
usman only has 8 lmao

>>149658453
oh wait usman has played less tests than zac?
that cant be right, can it?

the only meme zak crawley has is being crap but staying in because of his rich father taking rob key out for dinners

people thought, naively, he would be dropped for bad performance early in his so-called career
after a while people realised he was never going to be dropped, and the subject hasn't been touched since

he is undroppable until he goes through twink death and key tires of stretching his arse out

>>149658546
it was in fact not right, and actually showed that table to be totally inaccurate

>>149658453
Thats an an opener so in the last 3 years which is elite

>>149658876
Based retard

>>149658937
who are you calling retard, retard?

>>149658955
He hasn't always opened retard

hidden disability

bouldering later

>>149659205
Proof?

>>149659203
wtf you summoned him

new vpn just dropped

Living with a hidden disability fish odour syndrome.
(TMAU) 1 day I stink of fish another day stink of shit de lads,
SOME people smell it and some people don't.
I was diagnosed in 2005 by Sheffield university and 5 great guys plus one knows some one who worked at sheffield university in 2005.
I type in 2002 on google why do i smell of fish, it came up with TMAU (fish odour syndrome)
I have a hidden disability it miss understood and unpleasant
if i never had TMAU i would have worked all my life, I never ask to be born.
I dont feel sorry for myself i stay positive all the way and spiritual minded.
I have to wash my arm pits again after a shower and plus I have to wash my ass in the sink in the day after toilet.
Dont feel sorry for me just try and understand a hidden disability.
I get on with my life and make the most of it, positive all the way

smells in here lads lol

in all seriousness, that sounds like one of the worst hidden disabilities to have. not only because it's incurable but also because people judge quickly and would probably think you're talking shit when you say you have fish odour syndrome
at least you can still walk and talk and experience friendship and love (even if it is just familial love)
I bet your cat loves you though ;)

> I have to wash my ass in the sink in the day after toilet.
I feel there is more practical ways of doing this

eating poo

>>149659358
water bottle bidet always works

>>149656738
I didn't realise Boycott was that good. All openers who have 45+ are in the elite tier because facing fresh bowlers and a moving ball is really tough

very tactically hides the most important stat there, the strike rate

boycott simply wouldn't hack it in today's vibeocracy

>>149659676
He could simply boycott the modern game to maintain his stats.

Pomfags, I know youre awake.
How do you actually reconcile bazball against the scenario of this game?
You missed a draw by 80mins. It cost you WTC points. It might cost you a spot in the WTC final.
You just had to block it a bit on the final day but you closed your eyes and knelt at the altar of bazball.
How do you reconcile this?

>taking cricket seriously
brown hands etc.

Who's winning?

>>149659770
Nobody except Baz himself believes in Bazball anymore, it's obviously a crock of shit

>>149659358
https://youtu.be/o0xDGXotGIE?si=Jfzj105evXjH3VwS

Nice day here today

We are all just waiting for the hundred now

>>149660016
are we?

KP nuts lifelong here
Will be shedding tears when I see their jerseys on the field again

I’ll never understand the point of the hundred, I lack the intelligence for it. It’s like how some men can play draughts but never chess

Zimbabwe v West Indies would be a good series

KP (the batsman) has been memoryholed
never hear him mentioned during England tests unless he's commentating but not really as a player

just saw a podcast with Jimmy Anderson
>interviewer: I noticed you didn't mention the WTC once in the book
>anderson: I only wanted to put interesting things in the book
dangerously based

>poms have already given up on the next WTC cycle

MULDERS GONNA DO IT LADS

>>149660087
Yeah hadn't considered this but youre right.
People go on about Flintoff a lot these days but KP felt like the pure batsmens equivalent in terms of star status

>some literal who with a 36 FC average is about to beat Lara's long standing record statpadding vs Zim
game's gone

>367*(334) at lunch
quite the strikerate

>>149660154
that's how lara lost it the first time around when Hayden statpadded vs. Zimbabwe as well

South Africa on 1000 watch

>>149660166
true but Hayden was actually a good player
nobody will never hear of Mulder again

>LE MILESDONE
>LE QUADRUBLE CENDURY
>LE EBIN BIG NUMBER

Reddit detected

Respect a good 399 over some reddit 400 any day of the week

>batsmen goes to 87
Ausgaylians: noooooo le bad luck
>score is 2/22
Ausgaylians: omg he said the heckin line!!!!!! upvoted mate!!!

399 is selfless
400 is selfish

>not declaring on 399*

Would be top bants

gonna go down like Adam Voges' 2nd highest average of all time by playing a 2 year career statpadding vs shitters and then retiring

>>149660087
flintoff did stuff after his cricket career
flintoff has charisma
flintoff is likeable

399 is reddit
401 is 4channel

they actually declared lmaoooo

Wonder what Mulder thought of that

Pietersen’s problem is he’s a massive cunt and everyone who’s ever worked with him hates him. Best England batperson I’ve ever seen thoughbeit, and I’m old enough to have watched Gooch in his golden prime
Mad how playing too long can fuck your career stats. KP and Kohli down in the mid 40s

DECLARE IT

399 is The Office (US)
400 is The Office (UK)

>>149660355
he's the captain, did it to himself
decent average boost for the lad

>>149660358
t. swanny

I remember watching KP and reckoning he'd be out for nothing every other innings back in the day

reckon root has that title bagged up now with his longevity

Safe bet would be to declare here lad. A few of your young bowlers need some match experience to fix their games.

don't think 4/2 is ideal when trailing by 620+ runs

>>149660371
the coaching staff apparently told him to declare
heard it from some bloke online so it's probably true

some people just don't want to have their name immortalised
didn't even bother to get top 3

>respectfully declares at 334* so as not to surpass Bradman

>Declaring to protect Lara's record
Anderson-esque cowardice

Rhodesia wouldn't of let this happen

Say what you like about Robert Mugabe, but on his watch Zimbabwe were a respectable test outfit

he must have played BLC05 as a young man and didn't want to disrespect the king

if the coaching staff told me to declare on 367*, let's just say it wouldn't have went down like it did
there'd have been a lot of blood in that dressing room

>>149660459
Who?

>>149653974 (OP)
hey fellas, get dis...the ZIMSAAAASSS..ya¿ haahaaaa alri x

don't steal my world class jokes please sebbo mate (I'm constantly lurking)

>>149660538
it's just too good fella ngl x

imagine cucking yourself out of test cricketing history
I would have gone full bard in the last 10 overs tier selfishness and tried to get a team 1000 as well, even if it took 3 days

he probably grew up dreaming about making cricketing history
one of those legendary innings and he was the man
got strongarmed by some fat coaches literally 33 runs away with 4 days left lmao
he'll be waking up screaming

It’s better this way now he’s the guy who would’ve scored 500 if not for being in a team and had he been allowed he’d be the statpadder. No bad guys now, except for Zimbabwe for being shit it’s obviously a motorway and they we’ll have a bowl thanksed

could have won the WTC and then become the first player to make 500 all within a month. alas nobody will remember 367* (very reddity sounding score as well. just is)

he just didn’t want his record to be against a weak Zim team, I reckon
but...yh

KWAB he wasn't even that far from it, just get 401 and declare. So lame.
>>149660499
Mark Taylor, Warner later eclipsed bradman anyway

>>149660653
Tubby the respectable Gentleman
Warner the cheating Bogan

Everyone considered Hayden a fraud when he had the record for a bit, Mulder made the right call

I think I remember Hayden scored a double against Bangladesh in Cairns or Darwin or something like that, this was when Bangas were just starting in tests and nobody rated it

>>149660688
yeah honestly not worth being mentioned in the history books forever if you have to endure some short-term grumbling from cricket commentators

>>149660688
nah fuck that a record's a record, let the seethers asterisk it all they want while you bask in the glory of your quad ton

this is cricket, a sport where playing in a new and exciting way makes people seethe

>nooOOo you have to play boring blockball STOP trying to entertain people

records are not meant to be broken
that's how it is, so that's how it always will be.

I was very wrong. Also really not a fan of iPhone for image downloads and edits it’s very awkward, if you’re thinking of switching to phoneposting definitely go for android over iPhone

swear this dirish poster is AI generated

now I’m thinking he wasn’t being rated because he only got 11 & 50 against Bangas

It was an issue of optics

Don't think anyone wants a white man taking the record from the black man at the moment.

buying furniture

Women! What can you say? Who made 'em? God must have been a fuckin' genius. The hair... They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls, just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips... and when they touched, yours were like... that first swallow of wine... after you just crossed the desert. Tits! Hoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs. I don't care if they're Greek columns, or secondhand Steinways. What's between 'em... passport to heaven. I need a drink. Yes, Mr Sims, there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pus-sy

Cricket highlights on youtube

>>149661018
https://youtu.be/vyCnOhW_-2c?si=pAeJQWA2eGpB_j71

Ytoids can’t cry about chucking anymore. Got completely exposed by B-tier bowlers, lmao.

vpn self-convo hours

>>149661226
No VPN for me x

Hayden was a flat track bully who couldn’t play the swinging ball. Decent player of spin, but essentially a boomer David Warner with weird christian views and a vineyard. Damien Martyn, now there was a player

God Save Ireland

Mulder made the right decision based solely on the fact that theres a whole bunch of Indian cricket fans seething on twitter right now for some reason

>>149660825
its just some phoneposting jeet that lives in ireland

Has there ever been an Indian on social media who wasn’t seething about something? You never see a chilled out pajeet.
For me, it’s Winston Churchill discussions on Reddit.

Winston “Reddit” Churchill

EARTH TONES SUIT YOU
SO GIVE IT A SMILE

anyone want a nice hot fresh beef wellington iykwim haha
>>149662103
unironically this
churchill was a piece of shit who bent the knee to his (((bankers)))

waiting at the barber to get lectured on politics

Getting lectured on politics right here on /cric/
Possibility for Williams to beat that old Bannerman percentage record

never forget The Battle of Antioch (1098)

williams can't win with these bums

Brendan Taylor was the last (as in final, not most recent) elite zimbo cricketer

>>149659267
>ass
FOY

>>149660087
I remember him for being the first batsman who would let out a massive grunt when getting bowled or playing and missing the ball "UGHHHH"
don't think I've heard it from anyone before nor since (outside of exceptions where the ball stays really low or whatever)

getting clean bowled has to be the most humiliating thing for a batsman
basically the equivalent of someone else fucking your wife
the ball is fucking your stumps

bairstow is the ultimate cuckold

I remember Paul Collingwood giving a massive nick towards gully against South Africa in about 2009 and before the fielders even had time to shout ‘catch’ the stump mic picked up Colly groaning in the purest mackem accent ‘aww nur’

>>149662316
meant the commiepoof protest against making ammo which oddly led to germany's surrender, the treaty of versailles, raping of goose and boys, which had a large amount of chosen people leading it (1918)
wonder why huh

based zimbabwebros making >us losing by 336 not look so bad

>>149662778
don’t worry about any of that gay shit the real reason was he wouldn’t release the Australian divisions in North Africa despite the Japanese entering the war and threatening invasion of Australian mainland

>le stab in the back myth? On my /cric/? It’s more likely than you think

it's Rhodesia champ
always was always will be sweaty x

Remember when Ollie Robinson yelled fuck off after bowling Khawaja and the aussies lost their minds about it for the entire series

>>149662818
yes because i was totlly talking about Uncle A when he was Führer not a simple corporal message runner

>>149662819
based knower of noses
>>149662837
anyone know which country currently holds the ashes

>>149662866
I’m detecting sarcasm. Thought we were talking about Churchill

I remember a 96 year old member at Lord's in one of those neeky ties suggest Alex Carey shouldn't be a dirty filthy fucking cheat and you could see the fear in Cameron Green's eyes (and later tears too)

>>149662201
I thought you got Erdogan'd for a while

>>149662988
my mistake lad
>>149663130
this but gitmo'd

Zimbabwe saving the story here

Working up a good racist joke about Turkish coffee having a load of brown shit in it, but I’m want to be sure it’s ready before I unleash it on /cric/
Might test it out in /int/ or /trv/ first

>>149662837
I vaguely recall he had just been dropped off from an EDL rally before telling Khawaja to fuck off back to Pakistan and saluting heil Hitler as he left the field

at least that's what I remember reading

>gus atkinson recalled to squad
kek forgot this lad but I remember he was being hyped as a future great and the long term Anderson replacement

>>149663271
i once fingered hex in a munchen nightclub

Toby Roland-Jones: whaddeva happened there?

You asked me to name mediocre English seamers, I wouldn’t say McCague or Rankin. I’d go Mahmood, Lewis, Bicknall. Mallender

>McCague
>Mahmood
>English
lol
>Bellender
lmao even

>Bellender
kek that's actually quite good ngl

>>149663634
i'm unironically glad i could bring a moment of happiness to your life friend

Just rewatched some old 2002 ashes highlights, holy shit Nasser was clueless

if he was clueless he'd be nasser who's sane iykwim haha

>>149663917
For me, it’s the Perth test
>Warne, McGrath, Gillespie, Lee
>Tudor, White, Silverwood, Dawson, Harmison
Just captain the team better bro

spent 3k on furniture today

player v player Aus 05 was way better than Eng 05 too
not quite sure how we managed to win that one desu. Probably Flintoff having the series of his life, McGrath stepping on a ball and there being 2-3 other players in great form

Mulder interview:
>Firstly, I thought we had enough and we needed to bowl. Secondly, Brian Lara is a legend. For someone of that stature to keep that record is deserved. If I get the chance to do it again, I’d do it exactly the same way. I spoke to Shuks (Shukri Conrad) and he felt the same way. Brian Lara is a legend and he deserves to keep that record.

>>149664183
lmfao what a loser
I'd break the record out of DISRESPECT

>>149664101
thank you captain obvious

>>149664101
all the aussie battsxirs shitting the bed as well

legit cannot comprehend the mindset required to purposely give up immortalising yourself in the cricketing history books just because of "respect" for some guy you don't even know

Small reminder Australia should declare if they're at risk of breaking any innings totals in the coming Ashes, it would be a disrespectful to their team of old.

>>149664286
I was only 7 at the time mate, didn't fully understand all the ins and outs

>>149664183
isn't him saying this going to make it really awkward for someone who decides to go on and break the record? people will start quoting how humble he was and how it was the respectful thing to do. overtaking Lara will be seen as a mankad or something now

>>149664438
Think Mark Taylor also did something similar tbf
like he was on a 300+ score but then declared or retired out because he didn't want to go past Bradman

>>149664530
just a matter of mindset and how much you care about outside voices
taylor cared a lot that's why he declared before surpassing bradman, warner gave less of a shit

>>149664411
It’s leadership m8. At some point he’s going to ask one of his players to sacrifice something for the good of the team, maybe a tired bowler is begging for one more over to get a fifer, or a bloke has to up the strike rate rather than slurping his way to a hundred, and now he’s shown he is willing to do the same.

sounds like the saffer coach got in his ear and now he's been gaslit about it
reckon he'll be standing at mid on in a test match against NZ next year, having contributed a pair, and realise the extent of his error

>>149664687
he'll literally regret it on his deathbed

>scores less runs on purpose
what's this strategy called

>the brainful declaration when you have a batsperson heeming the oppo at a 100+ SR who doesn't look like getting out
many such cases

neekiest declaration

Atkinson is coming back and Root hasn't got a big score yet in the first 2 tests which will definitely change in the final 3 tests.

India have played really well but I don't see them sustaining this level over 5 tests. They did take 20 wickets at Edgbaston but going all-rounder heavy and expecting to continue to take 20 wickets won't continue working.

This Indian team is young and inexperienced there is 0 excuse to not beat them at home. I do think we will win the test series 4-1

thanks chatgpt

>>149664530
imo all records should remain static to respect the old greats
just wouldn't be the spirit of cricket to wash away the sport's rich history
and yes, even if it costs you the match
a mankhad can win you the game but people don't do it, this is no different.

I only hope Root retires before overtaking Tendulkar's runs record, very very disrespectful otherwise

when are we playing chess-tennis zachy? I'll heem you anywhere in yorkshire

If i would have been coach Anderson would be playing still, playing his 200th Test this summer. Robinson as 3rd bowler, Archer as new ball bowler and Leach as 4th bowler with Haines at top in place of Crawley. Sam Cook as another bowler 5 bowlers, long tail but can bowl an opposition for 180-200.

Stokes will force Root into retirement when he gets close just like he did with Anderson

Listening to Bazballers defend this by saying “well they entertained the crowd, nobody wants to see batsmen bat back 100 overs” is fucking infuriating.

We’ve been played off the park by India for pretty much 9 out of the 10 days of cricket so far. And we now go to Lord’s with the Archer, who will do doubt play after 1 day of first class cricket in 3 years and a India side with the best bowler in the world coming into the attack refreshed.

I said last week and I haven’t changed my opinion, we are losing this series and going to into the ashes in a mess where the Aussies are going to piss themselves to a 4-1 win.

I really have no idea where this team is going and what the planning for 12-18 months time is. Stokes is likely going to be gone next year, we have wasted 18 months on Bashir who won’t last the impending mix up, Woakes will be gone, Wood will be gone.

>>149665952
no such thing

>spamming r/cricket posts

>he's ducking
kek

>>149665539
>>149665839
*ahem*
I'd just like to remind everyone that certain man thought the declaration pictured was quote 'sound' unquote
hasn't given many of his takes on test cricket since because even he on some level must have felt shame for making such a howler of a post

First off, the UK just isn't very black. Only about 4% of the population – probably a bit more than that in the age range to play elite cricket, but not a lot more. If you pick 11 young British men at random, roughly half the time none of them will be black.

Second, cricket needs large pitches, which means few state schools have the facilities to offer it – especially in London, where black Brits disproportionately live. Youth cricket is to a large extent the preserve of fee-paying private schools, and black Brits are on average poorer than other demographics and less likely to attend those schools as a result.

sitting in my flat thinking about my flat

About to exchange on a three bed in Perivale. Mortgage will only be £2k a month, so we’re quids in. We need more room with the new baby coming

>soulless london commuter town
>only £2k a month
grim

>>149666933
hope it sinks into the ground
no offence

>>149665868
>>149666054
>we

>>149666933
i hope it burns down falls over then sinks into a swamp iykwim haha

another HILARIOUS iykwim post added to the list mate. keep it up!

is shamar joseph related to sandeep lamichhane iykwim haha

no but steven loosebuschange iykwim haha

*yyyaaAAAAAAWWWNS OBNOXIOUSLY*

>>149666743
lgm x

>>149666933
congrats on the bubba
life's about family, so good on you

>>149666933
congrats, fella, excited for you ngl x

1st reply ITT

blind, can't read fella x

>>149669209
keKkkkk
took me a bit ngl but queem QUEEM haaa x

>>149661972
Most selfish race.

what’s with ‘00s landfill indie being cool again all of the sudden

>>149669329
tabla xx

>New Zealand announces Squad for Zimbabwe Test series
> Tom Latham (capt), Tom Blundell (wk), Devon Conway, Jacob Duffy, Matt Fisher, Matt Henry, Daryl Mitchell, Henry Nicholls, Will O'Rourke, Ajaz Patel, Glenn Phillips, Rachin Ravindra, Mitchell Santner, Nathan Smith, Will Young
Kane can’t even be arsed getting on the plane for a 401no

if he dropped a catch he'd be tom blunder iykwim haha

I just think it’s good Zimbabwe are playing tests. Better if they were three test series

>>149669419
NATHAN SMITH
A
T
H
A
N

S
M
I
T
H

Mulder declaring might be the most pure cricket moment we have seen in the last decade
Lot of respect for his decision
"Let the legends keep the really big scores"

If Wiaan is number 1 now if he becomes number 2 he’ll be Pooan

I listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul
Where I'll end up, well, I think only God really knows

I've sat upon the settin' sun
But never, never, never, never
I never wanted water once
No, never, never, never

>>149669728
>>149669431
not getting these ngl fellas

>he doesn't know blunder
applied for a greencard yet mate jose

>>149669520
Will Smith even play?

>>149670974
no
lol
but
HAHA GET THIS
steven play
roflmaopmsl
get it get it

>>149669419
I think you play him over Phillips and/or Nicholls just because he offers something with the ball
I guess you play Phillips over Smith if the pitches are turning a lot (idk what zim pitches are like)

>>149671947
meant for >>149670974

>>149671972

you shouldn't be able to save and use sebbos pics
stolen valour honestly

Is this cringe or sovl?

your newest black cap

Kinda looks like Daniel Radcliffe

Brian Lara may hold the technical world record, but Wiaan Mulder won the moral world record yesterday.

they're going on about the post office again

>>149672080
t20 comps with states/counties are good. t20 comps with franchises are shit.

old things good
new things bad

down the pub

>>149672940
>grown men sports team shirts
ick

>>149672825
>Post Office report set to lay bare human impact of IT scandal
hasn't there been 15 reports and 20 inquiries about this thing now
why is this country so obsessed with inquiries
they are all predetermined anyway

name a SINGLE inquiry that said something the commissioner of the inquiry didn't want

>>149672940
what was he watching?

>>149673125

>>149672425
>teams
ohnonono better get back to toil mate and don't forget you're there forever

>>149673336
Gainful employment is every citizen's duty.

>>149673336
I like to work - it let's me afford living a luxurious lifestyle

>>149669419
Henry Nicholls is bloody useless, don't think he scored more than 40 for us in about 12 innings - county dibbly dobblers proved too much for him

Duffy did ok, averaged 29 with the ball in the county champs, looked better in T20

Nathan Smith was a big part of avoiding relegation last year, sad that he chose the big bucks of Surrey instead of re-joining u
Had Santner and Henry in years gone by too

Goes to show that Kiwis and Pears are clearly the best of friends, bound across oceans by spiritual harmony

of course the reddit: the series loving neek knows everything about the peewee team

Most underrated batsmen has to be Alastair Cook

>>149673436
Thoughts on Neesham?

>>149673345
so true

need more PAYE pigs to support the burgeoning hordes of mental fatigue havers

i can't stand musical theatre

reckon Mulder woke up having second thoughts about declaring on himself

>>149673466
you can sense his regret here
but i still think it was the right call
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DL0E7L9ykik/

he'll be waking up screaming for the rest of his miserable regret-ridden life

>the coach spoke to me and said 'listen, let the legends keep the really big scores'
kek brutal

Even if I believed that I didn't deserve the record I would still get a primordial thrill out of smashing it and ruining the record books forever

>>149673565
such a 4chan thing to say

>>149673513
based coach saving cricket
you're never going to get 400 against some elite attack on a green wicket but having it be Mulder vs the worst ever Zim team in the worst era of test cricket would be a bit much

not much better than Lara selfishly batting for 2 and a half days for his own milestone on a complete road

if it was so easy why doesn't anyone just do it? Exactly.

>nooo you can't just break records you have to do it in a way that doesn't ruin cricketing lore!1

>highest score in test cricket
Lara 400*
>highest score in fc cricket
Lara 501*

so the only acceptable conditions are if there's another player called Lara who makes a 501* in tests

>>149673513
wonder if he would have said the same thing to bavuma

the wicketkeeper is down

>attack
>cricketing
very neeky in here this morning

smells of plateauing at v3 in here all of a sudden

'cricketing' is in the OED but why worry about that when some sussexian who scraped a 2:2 in his geography degree is here to tell you otherwise?

don't care nobody used it pre reddit

>>149673453
Bit of a redditor
Not sure why he was ever rated as a top T20 player, always seemed bang average to me

got an obscene amount of furniture arriving Saturday

in terms of neekyism in regards to the mentioning of cricketing and bowling attack, I'm ambivalent

I'm with the Irish lad unironically - Chris Woakes seems like a really nice guy and I'd like to see him do well because he's a good bloke and deserves it

what post are you even referring to, lost in the vpn matrix?

just his general love of Woakes over the last few threads
keep up

Irish is a nice guy but he's more of a league guy than a cricket guy
i imagine he will blow out of /cric/ at some point in the next month or so

forcing jimmy to retire to blood some younguns but keeping old man woakes instead
whatever were they thinking

>talking about yourself in the third person

>>149674021
good enough to be in the team (needs to get some batting form back thoughbeit) but he certainly shouldn't be the opening bowler for any international side

>>149673569
No wonder this shite loses $50M und one year.

>>149674050
nah his gimmick is that he blows into whatever poomunity he sees. he's the guy who tries to make "RUGBY LEAGUE" the first post of every /rug/, a rugby union general that only ever appears a few times a year.

>desperately trying to actualise your persona

everyone is zachy on a vpn is that you lad?

>>149674096
Did you get bored of calling people VPNs in football threads and come running back to /cric/?

writing poems about my flat

>>149674092
he legitimately knows his league, but spends a lot of his time in /nrl/ arguing about racism (as a poc defender)
doesn't surprise me that he's too lower class to appreciate union

irish persona's gimmick is to copy paste reddit posts I think

>>149674115
i transplanted the "we don't use that word here" meme and saw he uses it unironically.

Your gimmick is to bore people to death with your dire off topic posts

>>149674118
I actually appreciate that mick, it always surprises me how well it works

I have no gimmick. Some days people think I am zachy, other days people think I am bard. I am neither. I am a chameleon

>>149674130
theres only 3 brits as far as im aware
Bard, fag-arms and countysperg

why would anyone discuss the irish poster to this degree
his posts are direly boring walls of text generated by AI or pasted off reddit
all too unnatural, the conclusions are clear

gimmicks are the lifeblood of this poomunity
anyone remember zachy's britjeet gimmick haha

>>149674138
Just like you and how you never actually respond to anyone

And then theres fatguts

Shitjeet was absolutely hilarious

got completely dismantled by bard's post debunking his lies about his cousin's salary. stopped posting for good right after
the biggest heeming in the history of /cric/, will never be bettered

I dont really have a persona per say but I've made 80% of the webms in /cric/ over the last couple years

suspect everyone is zachy on a VPN lad is probably the same guy who complains about too much coverage of the post office stories by constantly highlighting and reposting the post office stories

Maybe the bill got him over some of his posts in this general that were rather concerning

do remember that post about him wanting to uhh.. 'get intimate' with Maxwell's 1 year old baby son now that you mention it

if there's an MS Paint image i've probably made it

>>149674172
dire gimmick

>>149674177
I did that gimmick originally, think it's the other BBC news reader that points it out these days

dire general full of dire cunts

hi :)) first tiem poster here. hi :))

1st reply ITT

bless u, fella

>>149674217
be the change you want to see fella

bouldering later

r/bouldering after that

>England head coach Brendon McCullum has called for a dramatic change in the nature of the track for the Lord's Test. The former New Zealand cricketer called for a track that has more pace, bounce, and sideways movement for the third Test with the series level at 1-1.
>"Something with a bit more pace, a bit more bounce, and maybe a little bit of sideways. It'll be a blockbuster either way, but I think it's going to set up for a cracker - especially if there's plenty of life in it," said McCullum on the track he wants at Lord's.

going to be a 30C scorcher for the next week or so so it'll probably be baked good

>peruses
http://www.rsdb.org/

>>149674299
are you trying to put us all on a list!

hello friends

Reading CJ Lewis

think I'll buy a dildo
any recs

don't fall for the size queen memes, just get the biggest baddest dildo you can find the sphincter will naturally adjust

>>149674489
if you want to get fucked by plastic knobs just try a v3 again

The trick to dildos is to sniff some poppers before easing it in. Relaxes the arsehole right up. The gays do it, and they have expertise in these matters.
When my wife is away in Frankfurt on a business trip I like to book a prozzie and get fucked with a strap on. Not really cheating if you think about it.

not funny

>>149674625
listening to some limmy m8?

I am pro-Israel and pro-Ukraine

>>149674842
same
just not going to side with turdies and muslims

Find it impossible to trust any information I receive about either conflict. The messaging systems are so perfectly integrated, it’s all propaganda within propaganda designed to make you think you’ve seen through it. Like that Red Dwarf episode when they think they’ve left the game but it’s all a ruse to keep them playing. Can’t say for certain who is bombing who anymore

yes i agree, let us stand in a row while we aim this gun at both our heads.

>>149674958
Yeah I get this feeling as well. Not sure if that makes us schizos or not

cricket related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYJqhMAgOcs

Just popping out to see my therapist. Anything you guys want me to ask him?

in Donedon
dire place.

>>149675406
thoughts on J. B. S. Haldane?

>Munsey ducked
lel Scotland

>male therapist
got your diagnosis right here m8: you're gay

seducing one's female therapist has to be the pinnacle of rizz

Just popping out to see my rapist. Anything you guys want me to ask him?

>>149675484
why does he have shit taste?

way more to do in donedon than york
but admittedly a bedsit in the former will probably set you back about half a mil

watching the women’s blast

>>149675489
done 'im

>>149675489
he does it for the love of the game

>>149675489
and he’s gone

>>149675519
you mean the Super Squirt?

>more things to do
like?

needing "things to do" is the sign of a simple mind

mumsy and I have actually gone about halfs on the furniture so far (spent about 4k so far)

>>149675586
it does sound a bit thick when he says it desu

got off at the wrong tube station and missed my train lads

he's gone from she'll bankroll the flat and I'll get the furniture to she'll bankroll the flat and half the furniture

>>149675581
you aways ask this
it's been answered and you know it's true

more uzbeki restaurants oh yeah sorry I forgot

>>149675586
no it's not. why don't you move to NT with the abos then? zachy tried staying in his bedsit and reading or whatever neeky shite for a while but then couldn't sustain that life so decided to go to the york pubs and take up bouldering (more options for both of these in certain city too btw)

Leeds and Sheffield>Donedon for bouldering

ah yes zachy 'I think donedon is a dire place but still come here multiple times a year, including twice in the last week' bowen

cant wait to move
Friday night my flat will be completely unfurnished but that honestly beats sharing a bathroom

all you really need is three milk crates, one old door, and a good sleeping bag

true
lots of furniture is furniture for the sale of it really

>sleeping bag
it's his own place he can just dump an imaginary mattress on his imaginary flat floor

it's going to be tought looking back into my bedsit and realising it's the last time

>the bank of mummy and grandaddy
it's ok, zacharias will buy a microwave so it all evens out

>>149675992
what did he mean by this

bumble should allow would you rather be bummed or get bummed as an opening move

Zimbabwe lost by an innings with about 2 and a half days of cricket left to play
dear oh dear mulderbros... you may say hindsight is 20/20 but surely an extra hour of batting couldn't have hurt?

>>149676011
why is there an exposed wall and pipes with the boiler in the mirror?

>>149676302
they call him the Boilerman
that's not a warning sign in the corner, that's genuinely a poster he admires

that bedsit is iconic on /cric/
the landlord will never know how famous it is and won't ever realise the potential to up the price

since I got evicted for them to do renovations it now costs 1200 a month unironically

Bladder is full
May go to the toilet
May not

plenty of places you can piss at that aren’t toilets

ok open wide

>when the majority of the new set is sl*b
disgusting
I am frankly not even hankering

might stay at home and watch the chase instead

apparently yank bouldering gyms are a joke
like a v3 here is a v7 there lmao fat bastards

thats well established fact

would maybe be different story in Colorado
but in new York or LA would be graded ridiculously soft

might watch norrie Alcaraz

didn't ask

Just finished watching a series called defending Jacob

Complete waste of time

shaved my dick and balls

>>149677212
why

>>149677478
i dont know

>>149677478
he's got a date booked with his hand

>>149677701
haha epic

>>149677212
>>149677478
>>149677692
>>149677701
>>149677715
>/cric/ when there's no cricket for a few hours
state

>>149677701
not true

is it normal to buy a pair of formal shoes and have it tear up your feet around the ankle and heel for a few months before finally being 'broken in'. they say wear it around the house for a bit but mine never feel comfortable after many miles of walking

cricket in the uk is played at cricket grounds
cricket in australia is played at AFL stadiums

taunton looks like a nice little ground

It's over Nepal bros. The (((Bahuns))) want to hold us back.

Watched Somerset play a charity match against an Orchard FM XI in the 90s at Taunton. Bob McCreadie, who DJ’d the breakfast drive time slot, was literally seething after Caddick cleaned him up and refused to sign my little souvenir bat. All the Somerset players obliged. Still got the bat at my mums house somewhere, and from time to time I run my fingers along the signature of Chris Tavare and feel an indescribable tingle

smeed

Just remembered that half the country got paid like 80% of their salary on my taxpayer dime to sit on their arse in furlough for a year
Mental that

>theres a 'The Overlap' for cricket now
grire

>cricket
sounds dreadfully dull

It's over NPL bros. (((They))) want to hold us back

Will the BBL teams be entirely made up of grade cricketers?

sounds like the normal standard for BBL (not cricket btw)

The only thing that counts as cricket is first class cricket on uncovered pitches with no helmets. The test high score is still Sobers’ 365 as far as I’m concerned.

>>149680306
>pakistan shanes
based

>>149679241
I will NEVER not be fuming about the fact that I got made redundant two weeks before furlough eligibility and lost out on literally tens of thousands of pounds of free money as a result

I think that's what ultimately what turned me into a lazy civil servant leeching off the money of the hardworking Great British taxpayer

>>149682159
give me my money back

>33 runs short of 400 on a flat pitch against an associate attack striking at 100+
>we'll have a declaration thanks mate
still can't fathom it

think the lazy direish genetics made you lazy, personally

He won the moral world record, and that's a better reward than anything else.

>>149682479
you can't fathom it because you can only think of yourself and not putting the interests of your team above your own. in a world of bards in the last 10 overs be a Mulder on 367*

>>149682033
Pretty much any record before modern TV and analytics has an asterisk on it.

>>149682587
so true
just look how close it was in the end
mulder will have no regrets

>>149682380
Shan't

>>149682495
Probably comes into it desu
Vile people

>a world of bards
If only!

>>149682479
nothing wrong with what he did tbg
if he had broken it we would currently be discussing >claiming a personal test record against the mighty memebabwe

strong aroma of citrus in here

should've called scully haha

>>149683013
https://youtu.be/FEhpmuXHmRQ?si=NlO5tJgOjW3-BSI_

>>149682508

>>149682615
lol

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLz-pGBSM8x/

Stokes hasn't scored a test century since the 2023 ashes
going the way of marnus me thinks

>>149683939
keKkkkk so true
kid should try being humble, and learn a thing a two from kuldeep or jaddu

>>149676708
lel "no"

>>149684029
he's under the tutelage of the esteemed jeetan patel

Who's the most /cric/ person of bat?
>Pujara
>Root
>Smith
>Kohli

really strong smell of poo in here

>>149684569
it's coming from sebbo and ausjeet

im not even jeetadjacent

>>149684282
as much as it pains people to hear, Warner is the most 4ch batsperson of all time

>>149684734
Warner twerks for Jeet rupees though

>>149684751
>cuck
>manlet
>by all accounts a bully
>probably some deepseeded issues
he's 4ch

>>149684834
But enough about Zachy

all your favourite cricketers vote Liberal

>>149658286
We just can't banter idk

Wish I was at wimby watching the 'nnis

Didn't sleep too well but when I think about how Mulder must be sleeping right now I reckon I'm doing alright

>>149686838
May as well chuck Glenn McGrath and Bret Lee in there

Honestly I think this sets a good precedent, there does need to be some sort of check on who should be allowed to break records. We don't just anyone to be able to do it.

50 test match minimum? Age cut off?

Imagine being cucked out of the history books by your own coach

>>149686838
sean abbott morphing into pat cummins

>>149686838
>none under 26
>average age of about 32

Is Lance Morris related to Lando Norris?

>>149686838
my problem with jhye and xavier is that theyre white ball bowlers
we shouldve played lance this series

>>149687365
The Australian sun is relentless
Every white citizen doomed to become crag-like

>>149673513
Dunno why but it feels like their coach has a huge chip on his shoulder for some reason. could also just be bravado.

>>149687466
south african boomer with a chip on his shoulder?
sounds unlikely to me

>>149687365
Phil Hughes morphing into dirt

got strep throat

Sorry lad I had strep cock i should have told you

>>149687749
bit on the nose dont you think

>>149687765
more like on the back of the neck

>>149687767
bit on the nose don't you think

Mulder will regret declaring more than Abbott declared killing his friend

Mulder will regret declaring more than Abbott regretted killing his friend

>>149686838
Only the top 4 are actually any good, and they'll all be in a retirement home soon
Future prospects for the Australian Test side are very grim, don't have any good players coming through with either bat or ball
By 2030 they'll effectively be Bangladesh tier

>>149687821
Doesn't really matter, England just doesn't "get" the Ashes

>Mulder will regret declaring more than Abbott declared killing his friend

When I think of Australian culture I basically can only think of sports. They're slowly being replaced by a demographic that does anything but play sports.

It's over.

>hazlewood
>any good

>Australian culture
in the same category as Australian snow and funny Australian stand ups (doesn't exist)

>>149687833
what about fucking accadacca m8

>>149687833
oi nah mate fucken tinnies and winne blues and commdores mate fuck ya (no one does this)

grire ''''music'''' that

call me mates cunt, and call cunts mate. just keeping it dinky di

>>149687833
Golf isn't a sport

>>149687860
AWHL DAH PEEPOW
SO MANEH PEEPOW
AND DEY AWHL GO AND IN AND
AND IN AND FRU DERE
PAHKLOIFE

just kidding of course parklife is an excellent tune

he's right tho, blur shits all over all australian music

at first when i see you cryyyyyy
yeah it makes me smileeeee
yeah it makes me smileeeee

Thoughts on Telegony?

i heard if you dont pay for your tv licence the english gov sentences you to tele-goney

haven't heard of them m8, must be underground still, but I'll keep my ears peeled

thoughts on discussing cricket in the cricket thread?

>>149687827
True, no matter how much better on paper our team becomes compared to yours, the side will still be packed to the rafters with privately educated poofters with zero mental resilience, who will instantly fold under the heat and pressure of Australian conditions

Maybe we'll sneak a draw at home

One of the things I really liked about The Surfer (2024) is how the director seamlessly tied the oppressive and unrelenting heat of Australia to the complete psychological degradation of Nicolas Cage

>>149687929
will never fit on a marquee m8

>liked about [post-2017 film]
based brainlet

>>149687929
think countystreams might be dead

>2017
based midwit

fuck I love ween

bananas and blow is so comfy for day drinking rum in summer

>>149687929
what percentage of conversations in the stadium throughout a whole test match are cricket-related?

I think less than 50% for sure.

>>149688049
more like peen lol

>>149688071
ikwym haha

I’ve been to every state and territory besides WA and the NT

>>149688170
I haven't been to ACT, WA, SA or TAS but going to play Barnbougle in a few weeks

>>149687929
in terms of cricketing? there isn't any on

Just cracked a bundaberg

its wednesday you fucken pisshead

At least one person in this thread is being cheated on

>>149688170
ive been to them all
theyre all pretty underwhelming

Never been to London

purchased a premium dry herb grinder off the Internet

had half a sack of wine from a box (wont say the australian name of it here lest i be called a pervert)

Scent of a Woman is actually Pacino’s best performance

oooaaaaaa

>>149688558
might be a decent take but his best film is scarface

hoooaaaa

>The Korean religious practice known as P'ikareum is an unusual variant in that it holds that one can purify one’s own bloodline from sin by having sex with a holy person, such as the founder of one of the religious sects that engages in this practice.

>>149688067
GOTTEM

tits! hoooaaaa

based priest bloke tricking dumb sluts into rooting him

>Chryssides also notes that there were cases where the messianic leader was female and the neophyte male.
moving to korea lads

>>149688754
just go ginza mate theres like 7 of them there

>>149688764
will they purify me?

>>149688779
you have to tip them an extra 50 for that

>>149688764
just googled that and like all of them have (No Indian) kek
tbf it's similar here with the no blacks with escorts

>>149688880
cant blame em

>it's similar here with the no blacks with escorts
how do you know?

>get banned
>come back
>still the same /cric/ thread
grim state of our sport

>>149689009
not hard to find escorts with adultwork and all that, been ages since I looked though tbf
they usually said things like due to bad experiences if they did, rather than a preference thing

this is the first song for your mixtape
and its short just like your temper

>>149689025
>/cric/ is completely unaffected by his absence
sounds about right cuzzie

>>149689101
not sure if this was the gotcha you thought it was

QUEENSLANDER

sex toil looms ever nearer

Not felt any positive emotion since I was 12 years old

Any quickfire solutions?

arcade fire are so fucking shit, hard to think of a band that’s has aged more poorly. everything about them is pure cringe.

wine

you now remember the /cric/ lad who got turned down by a paid sex worker

cannot imagine holding an opinion about, let alone getting worked up about arcade fire, you running some stomp, clap, hey blog?

for gods sake someone make a new thread! we are at 502!!!!!!!!!

baked a new because countstreams is gone >>149689285

>>149689290
*burps*

>>149689295
You do realise the next test is tomorrow?

>>149689340
Fuck I haven't studied! haha

Gerard Murname or Peter Carey?