Thread 95818897

Stops centaurs and other hoofed creatures from invading my castle and lands
Pssh nothing personal m'ungulates

>>95818897 (OP)
>Does a run jump over it

>>95818897 (OP)
A splendid invention, my lord! Your genius never ceases to amaze. However, if I may be so bold as to voice a concern, how will our own horses and oxen leave your Eminent Grace's domain?

>>95819491
Drop planks or something to cover the grate so they can walk safely

>>95818897 (OP)
>Female centaur gets stuck
>rapes

>>95819535
Ah, of course! How silly of me to question your boundless intellect, my Liege. How fortunate that those barbarous centaurs cannot comprehend such a simple solution, lest we be doomed!

>>95819564
MY LIEGE! THE WATCHTOWERS HAVE SPOTTED A HORDE OF HORSE-MEN CARRYING BOARDS AND WEAPONS IN THE SOUTHERN PLAINS!

>>95819651
Calm yourself soldier! I'm sure the boards are merely coincidence. You know those savages and their backwards superstition. His Royal Highness's defensive measures are absolutely infallible!

This is what /tg/ is for. I thought I'd lost faith in this board a long time ago. God bless you all.

>>95819727
Let's just hope that no one appears to demand to know "WHAT GAME??!!"

>>95818897 (OP)
Don't worry biped, we are all business

>>95819651
>>95819693
If they’re all carrying boards that’s slowing them down so it’s like half the battle. Trust the plan.

>>95818897 (OP)
Wouldn't an intelligent hooved animal just be able to walk on the flatter portions of it?

>>95819964
...yeah...but, I mean it's kinda a bummer that they are a half ton of bone and muscle and boards can be easily dragged across flat ground or towed in by the cartful though...

>>95820143
Under arrow, boiling oil and rock barrage?
I'm pretty sure the guards and other outlooks won't just let them set up without a fight.
Also what if the castle is up on a mountain? Open plains is one thing but steep rugged mountain terrain is another or swamp lands and muddy muck.

Pssh nothing personal, hoofers

>>95818897 (OP)
I'm now picturing a satyr walking up a castle wall like a goat

>>95819465
Not if you don't know it's there. The grating can be camouflaged. And even if you don't camouflage it, the grating can just be made long enough that a centaur could not reasonably jump over it.

>>95818897 (OP)
What game has rules for this?

>>95821469
Eight of them do.

>>95820163
I like that this metaphor has become so stretched it's now "centaurs would probably find it hard to engage in a long term well defended siege".

Like yeah nigga everyone finds that hard.

>>95820118
Yes. Horses have a lot of trouble because horses are retarded and have basically zero depth perception. Cows, however, absolutely can and will walk across these, they just do it very slowly. Especially a design like OP's pic which has wide flat sections across it. They can skirt the edges of it unless you have really good fence placement also.

>>95820163
Yes. Not that would need to happen. They could use superior bows and haul/operate heavy siege machinery more efficiently. They could pick the range they wanted to operate from because they are faster and stronger. The only hope your humans have is that they stored enough recourses before the centaurs move on, but they will be back.

>>95819755
Rent free lmao.

>>95819755
THE GAME

>>95819651
Don't fret my good man, those are merely crude shields, not traversal tools. As is fitting for such thoughtless brutes, they are simply imitating the way our heroic warriors carry themselves unto battle.

>>95819964
My liege, installing these rolling devices all around the castle cost far more money than it costs the horse-men barbarians to bring in some boards. You are bankrupting the kingdom on these ineffective defensive methods.

>>95818897 (OP)
It would be a bane for beastmen everywhere if the Empire figures this out

>>95822602
Have this man hanged for his insubordination

>>95818897 (OP)
>balance on the bars
You forget that centaurs are able to think further than animals.

>>95822729
And while they carefully try to balance on the bars, my archers rain arrows down on them.

>>95822748
Sorry, they are all rouges and mastered the ninja skill to dance over it quicker than your archers can reload.

>>95818897 (OP)
Beastmen and Centaurs BTFO
This is why humans are the dominant species.

>>95822795
>rouges

Why are they all wearing makeup?

>>95818897 (OP)
>Having Centaurs charge a wall
>Wasting all the valuable strength when they could be assisting the logistical division and help with transporting ammo and supplies to the siege operations.

Next thing you idiots will tell me is that you command your Harpy legions to go peck out the eyes of attackers.

>>95822812
It makes them look more dangerous.

>>95822795
~lop clip clop clip clOP CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP CLOPCLOP CLOPCLOP CLOPCLOP

>>95822873
I'm confused. Wheres the part you tell the mare to get pregnant?

>>95822873
I dont get it. You mean they are not silent enough or they slip on the bar and try not to fall?

How does one get a centaur gf?

>>95822959
Have a huge cock.

>>95819560
How is that different from fucking a horse?

>>95824151
Because the female centaur will scream, cry and beg you to stop like a human would. So you get all the benefits of both fucking a horse and raping a human woman all in one glorious package.

>>95822959
Be nice.

>>95820806
>centaur snowshoes

>>95818897 (OP)
It only works if you lack the mental capacity to work over it.
It's as if saying that a drainage trench is going to stop people from getting on the other side of it.

>>95822748
Are your archers capable of piercing through three inches of steel body armour, too, because they aren't archers, but a flak cannon?
No?
Then tough fucking luck.

>>95820806
So you are saying you've got a super-complex trou de loup that don't actually work on MOST things and only stop dumb animals, but doesn't kill them, just traps them?
Seems like a really dumb way to overcomplicate the most basic trap.

>>95826008
My army of horse flies and chigger/mite clay pots will make that armor USELESS

>>95822873
THE CLOPPENING APPROACHS NEIGH IT GALLOPS UPON US!!!

Hoof nerds seething in this thread.

>>95822828
Do you think, logistically, a centaur would consume as much food as a cavalryman and their horse, or more?

>>95826008
Who's wearing armour three inches thick?

>>95826299
The same amount, but it's people-food (bread/meat/gruel/etc), not horse-food (grass), so they're tremendously more expensive to feed.

>>95822613
knowing how inexhaustible the hordes of those forest fucks are, they'll use ungors as the stepping stones over them.

>>95826320
they gotta have a horse stomach in addition to their human stomach so they can probably eat both

>>95826320
I thought warhorses ate grain because there isn't enough calories for them in grass.

>>95826603
>train tracks guard
Whoa...

How I defeated Lycanthropy, Beastfolk and other creatures with sensitive sniffers with one simple trick

>>95820251
Noooo barbed wire nerf WHEN this is RACIST

>>95826306
The centaur, since it can easily carry comfortably 250-300 pounds of shit

>>95820163
>It's the episode of "I have no fucking clue how horses work" again

>>95826008
Yes because my archers all use magical arrows that can pierce any armor. Don't like that I pulled that out of my ass? Tough shit. That's what happens when you set things in a fantasy setting.

>>95827437
They're not covering their entire human body in 3 inch thick steel, much less the horse part, for that much weight.

>>95827464
MY LIEGE THE MOLE MEN HAVE BREACHED THE CATACOMBS, FROGBEASTS ARE POURING THROUGH THE SEWERS.

>>95827437
To put that idea in perspective.
One cubic inch of steel weighs 0.283 pounds
One square foot of 3 inch steel would be that ×3×12×12 = 122 pounds
With 300 pounds of weight allowance that's almost 2.5 square feet of that armor.
Given size of a horse body that's barely enough for a modest bikini.

>>95827497
Fear not, my unusually effeminate advisor, you forget about the invulnerable skeleton thralls patrolling the catacombs and the feces demon I bound to our sewers that is obligated to defend me and my realm.

>>95827456
Anon, horses have more issues with mountainous terrain compared to donkeys.
The point is that the speed advantage of a horse is negated or cut down, leaving them open to missile weapons and hardened choke points.

>>95827525
Your grace, the mole men, they've... tunneled around the thralls.

Get some tripwires set up. If a horse breaks its leg, it usually leads to a trip to the nearest glue factory.

>>95828062
>If a horse breaks its leg, it usually leads to a trip to the nearest glue factory
Because a horse is dumb animal and won't let the leg rest long enough to properly heal.

>>95828062
That's because horses are cheap to make but expensive to heal.

>>95824151
Human tits and face

>>95818897 (OP)
It's PERSONNEL you stupid fuck.

Stops harpies and other flying creatures from building nests on my prop-per-tay and clogging up my gutters

"KENKU could be here," he thought. "I’ve never been outside the cornfield before. There could be KENKU anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his stitched-up chest. "I HATE KENKU," he thought. The eerie sound of wind whistling through a cracked flute someone left on a scarepole reverberated across the empty pasture, making an old wagon creak even as the fermented gourd juice sloshed in his straw-stuffed belly and washed away his (merited) fear of mimicry-loving black birdfolk after dusk. "With a cloak and a crowbar, you can go anywhere you want," he said to himself, out loud.

>>95822828
If I had a harpy harem I mean a harpy legion I wouldn't even bother with conquest.

>>95822828
>>95835865
Do harpies use the bathroom or do they shit like a dove or seagull?

>>95819727
>This is what /tg/ is for
I bet you're the same kind of cunt who thinks /tv/ is just for sneedposting.

>>95837493
>>95819727
Threads like these are the last gasps of a once vibrant board trying to cal back to the good days, desperate for the fast and free discourse before the concept of the "general" was invented and discussion calcified, cloistered in opaque 300+ post threads, autonoko forever directing posters back to the same place to keep it going. It's all over now. Enjoy being a fly on the corpse, or don't.

>>95837526
Threads like these are fucking pathetic. Nothing but retarded puns and larp jokes, they deserve to die off with the rest of the cringe, so that world-building threads can start to rise up instead.

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me.

>>95837493
Retard, /tv/ is for Baneposting. Yes, still.

>>95837640
that's a big assumption

>>95837640
>>95837648
This is what I mean, you retards think you're somehow witty for repeating obvious quotes, like those idiot boomers who start doing stupid Monty Python voices whenever someone mentions a parrot. Get a real personality, you NPCs.

>>95837672
>le above-it-all contrarian
tell us about your current game(s)

I'm ANGRY! ANGRY ABOUT THING!

>>95821469
GURPS

>>95818897 (OP)
I've never seen a centaur swim, so could't a castle moat do the same thing and pull double duty by still retaining the ability to stop sappers?

>>95837783
Pretty sure they swim in Fantasia.
Regardless, horses can swim and people can swim, so they should be ok swimming.

>>95837804
I could actually see them being pretty clumsy in the water considering the way a centaur's body morphology works. Shallow water wouldn't be a problem sure, they could dog paddle like actually horses do, but deep water? They seem like their buoyancy would be fucked for agile swimming and diving. Breaststrokes, front crawls, butterflies would be all but impossible. You could get a backstroke though, maybe.

>>95837804
Centaurs would be slow as shit in the water.

Table Top Setting and World Building Fact No.4982
>More settings should have centaurs in them.

>>95818897 (OP)
What does this do for fortification that isn't already solved and done better by razor wire? If pic related can stop cars it can surely stop soft fleshy horses.

>>95820335
It's a good thing Warhammer goatmen can't climb like goats.

>>95821469
Most games have difficult terrain rules.
>>95821691
Centaurs would probably find it easier than some, since they're their own cavalry . But there's the calorie question.

>>95821768
The Goog tells me a horse requires anything from 15,000 to 30,000 calories a day. It is probably safe to assume a centaur would require more than that, since they're 1.5 horses at least physically and have human level intelligence. Sounds like you have a problem if a smart foe just burns their food as they withdraw.

>>95827506
And as we know from Monmusu, a modest bikini is completely inadequate to the task.

>>95837694
Oh look, and the whatgames fag has turned up to complete the shit pie.

>>95837672
The parrot jokes dead innit?

>>95837672
Someone get this hothead outta here!

But how do I kiss a centuar while having sex? It ruins the fantasy.

>>95837949
>Centaurs would be slow as shit in the water.
They could doggy paddle AND ACTUAL PADDLE at the same time.

They're basically just small boats, like camels.

>>95830104
>Stops harpies and other flying creatures from building nests on my prop-per-tay and clogging up my gutters
*laughs in bird*

>>95838606
Cars can't jump particularly high unaided.

I now want to see cows and horses run across my city just so I can see if they can or cannot walk on grates

>>95826594
No human head or jaw is chewing 10kg of hay a day and a horse has like 5 times the energy requirements of a human. At least lamias can fudge it with cold blooded metabolism, but a centaur diet has to be mostly high calorie human food. Being omnivorous would help. These bitches are living on chocolate and cheeseburgers.

>>95837672
>>95839648
It has ceased to be!

>>95824151
Oh, /gif/, what have you done to me?
>>95838073
Just started playing this, feel like running it. Which system could do the combat/exploration like it? 4e?

Theoretically speaking, if a centaur was strong enough to support a human/dwarf/gnome rider wouldn't they just be outright more effective than a normal horse?
>Mount can take care of all the navigation whilst the rider takes care of the fighting and occasional orders.
>If one or the other dies it's probably way easier to get acquainted to a new partner.
>If a taur breaks it's leg it's actually smart enough to rest and let it heal.

>>95864393
Oh yeah and I imagine training a centaur rider would be more akin to a normal person rather than the effort needed to break a horse.

>>95859212
No it isn't! See we just 'ad a bit if a chuckle about it!

(What the fuck is your fucking name there anon? Take that shit down)

>>95818897 (OP)
A cattle guard might work, a ladder WILL work. Anyone who says centaurs can climb ladders is a liar.

>>95864640
>AY WIZARD SEND ME UP THE LADDER
There

>>95864640
Centaurs would just use ramps.

Hows this for an idea. A room where the floor is inlaid with thousands of ball bearings, set into the floor so that they can rotate freely but can't be removed or slip out, so if anyone steps on them the bearings spin and make the floor impossible to walk on in any stable manner.
Cover the floor in grease for extra slip and also to keep the bearings lubed.

>>95867536
Brilliant!

>>95867536
>make the floor impossible to walk on in any stable manner.
just tiptoe between the balls, duh

>>95867536
>Grease, you say?
>Extra slippy?

>>95869827
anon, no...

>>95875273
Anon, neigh.

>>95878070
>>95875273
>clop clop

>>95869827
>>95878100