Thread 211359895

Harry Potter was never good and I'm not gonna pretend to like it just to make troons seethe

>>211359895 (OP)
the books were comfy and the first 4 movies too. i don't care if tumblr liked them. tumblr loved supernatural and that was a good show too

I never read it.
The movies were okay, we'd see each installment together as a family opening night with tickets booked in advanced. That's my fond memory, not so much the film itself

>>211359895 (OP)
I never enjoyed it much and once Fellowship of the Ring came out I completely shifted to reading LOTR instead. I do however have a great memory of going to see the first Harry Potter movie. Not of the movie, but we got Wendy's before the movie and it for some reason was the greatest fast food burger I ever had.

TDKR is by far the most entertaining movie from Nolan's trilogy while TDK is overrated
Temple of Doom is underrated and much better than Riders
Matrix 2 and 3 are not as good as 1 but more interesting in terms of overall story
Star Wars OT is ok at best, prequels are all terrible but AOTC is the best of them and TPM is the worst by far
Inglourious Basterds is QT's best movie
Most Pixar/Disney/Dreamworks movies are average at best, including Inside Out
Godfather 1 is better than 2, 3 is good

>>211360102
>Temple of Doom is underrated and much better than Riders
it's the best one and is closest to the oriental globe trotting adventure of the serials they were copying

>>211359895 (OP)
The DUNE movies were minimalist slop that ignored everything that made the DUNE series interesting to instead tell the love story of Paul and Chani with the Paul getting revenge story treated as an afterthought. Paul, Stilgar, Chani, Gurney and Jessica are nothing characters who nobody really cares about so there won't be any hype for the 3rd movie.

>>211359895 (OP)
Harry Potter books are certainly ghostwritten heavily-edited by a committee.
J. K. Rowling is literally going against everything the books stand for. I don’t believe she wrote them.

>>211359895 (OP)
YOU'RE GONNA DIE, CLOUD

[Opening Scene: A panoramic view of Midgar under the glow of mako reactors. The screen fades to black. Intense orchestral music builds.]

NARRATOR:
This summer...

[CUT TO: A shadowy figure with long, silver hair steps into view, silhouetted against a roaring fire.]

NARRATOR:
...one wing will fall.

[The camera pans up, revealing ADAM SANDLER as SEPHIROTH. His face is overly serious, but his voice... unmistakably Sandler.]

SEPHIROTH :
"Cloud... you can't HANDLE my moves! Shoo-ba-dee-boo!"

[CUT TO: Cloud Strife (played by a brooding Timothy Chalamee) slamming his Buster Sword into the ground, sparks flying everywhere.]

CLOUD:
"You're going down, Sephiroth!"

SEPHIROTH (holding a hotdog):
"Yeah? How 'bout you ketchup first?"

[Smash cut to a chaotic battle: Summons exploding, materia glowing, and Sephiroth inexplicably doing the Waterboy tackle on Barret.]

BARRET (IDRIS ELBA):
"What the @#&*! is WRONG with you!?"

SEPHIROTH (shrugs):
"Sorry, I got carried away. MAKO does crazy things to a guy!"

[Quick cuts of Tifa (ZENDAYA) roundhouse kicking, Red XIII (SETH ROGEN) looking confused, and Cid (CHRIS PRATT) lighting a cigarette as explosions rage around him.]


[SEPHIROTH dramatically holds out his hand to summon Meteor, only for it to fizzle.]

SEPHIROTH:
"Oops. Forgot to charge my materia. Hooba-dooba!"

[Cue a montage of absurdly cheesy scenes: Sephiroth singing karaoke at the Gold Saucer, riding a Chocobo in slow motion, and doing an awkward thumbs-up while Jenova facepalms in the background.]

NARRATOR:
The fate of the planet... is in their hands.

[CUT TO: Sephiroth dancing awkwardly with a group of Shinra grunts as "One-Winged Angel" plays in a disco remix.]

SEPHIROTH (to camera):
"This summer... we’re wingin’ it!"

NARRATOR:
FINAL FANTASY VII: THE MOVIE Coming soon to a theater near you.

[Cue Sephiroth saying, "Chocobros before Hojo," followed by a record scratch and Cloud facepalming.]