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Thread 211691357

85 posts 28 images /tv/
Anonymous No.211691357 >>211691436 >>211691956 >>211694123 >>211695950 >>211697588 >>211698416 >>211698548 >>211703150 >>211708946 >>211732478 >>211733312 >>211734088
>"Whatever exists without my knowledge exists without my consent"
Anonymous No.211691436 >>211709592 >>211717417 >>211719948
>>211691357 (OP)
He's borderline a new seagal.
Anonymous No.211691888
Burn local injuns
Anonymous No.211691956 >>211731611
>>211691357 (OP)
lemme mask u summthin kid
Anonymous No.211694064
Any other actors who are supersoldiers?
Anonymous No.211694094
post times you acted like a shot caller
Anonymous No.211694123 >>211703268
>>211691357 (OP)
Anonymous No.211695548 >>211697303 >>211698465 >>211701995 >>211702230 >>211703356 >>211704720 >>211706761 >>211711467 >>211724769 >>211731655
Jon was a regular at the 100% local family owned sandwich shop I worked at. One time a couple of tourists from the Bible Belt came in like they owned the place. They were loudly listening to a Joe Rogan podcast on speaker and barged past an LGBT couple to order. I asked what they'll have and they just stared blankly and said "I'll have the uhhhhhh.....". This is when I noticed Jon looking over from his regular table, already vexed by their uncouth presence.
They must have finally realized we were a vegan sandwich shop and started acting out. "This here's one of them vegan sissy places!", the big fat one shouted. "Aint nothing but a bunch of manginas here", retorted the tall skinny one who was missing most of his teeth.
This is when I saw Jon calmly get up and begin to walk over, the two buffoons utterly unaware of what was approaching their six.
"Hey". That's all Jon said as the whole sandwich shop went silent. The Black single mother with her 8 kids looked on with admiration, and the centre-right leaning transwoman looked up from her many books on intersectionalism.
The unwelcome deplorables stared at Jon, sizing him up. "Don't disrespect the sandwich parlour", said Jon with unshakable determination. But they sealed their own fate. "I ain't gotta listen to you, mister vegan" guffawed the fat one.

*thump* *crack* *thud*

That's all I heard. Next thing I know, the two far right internet trolls were down. Jon didn't say a word. He simply returned to his table to finish his sandwich as the whole shop witnessed history being made. Suddenly, a "burn local!" shout was heard and the entire restaurant erupted in a chant of solidarity. Jon even tipped 50% on his way out as he stepped over the dispatched Trump voters. They awoke in a stupor as we were closing and asked what happened. I simply said, "fuck around, find out" before they gathered themselves and left in utter embarrassment.

That's why I burn local to this day.
Anonymous No.211695950
>>211691357 (OP)

>He never sleeps, the Real One. He is burning, burning local. He says that he will ask ye sumthin.
Anonymous No.211697303 >>211698351
>>211695548
Jon is a conservative and a patriot.
Anonymous No.211697588 >>211697880
>>211691357 (OP)
Who the fuck is this queer and why are you quoting Cormac McCarthy?
Anonymous No.211697880 >>211710064
>>211697588
buzz off global freezer
Anonymous No.211698029
WELL XES A REAL TRANNY ONE AND XIR LIKES THEIR TRANNY FUNNY GONNA CATCH IT DILATING ON THE RUN
OH WHAT FUN XES A WILD ONE
OH XES A WILD ONE
XES A DILATING PRIDEFUL CHILD
Anonymous No.211698351
>>211697303
International cooler detected. We won't fall for your harmful misinformation about Jon.
Anonymous No.211698416 >>211703150
>>211691357 (OP)
How’d a rich theater kid jew suddenly get off on being Mr Tough Guy hard ass 24/7?
Anonymous No.211698465
>>211695548
this is so fucking dumb

I wish he'd read this and react to it lmao
Anonymous No.211698548
>>211691357 (OP)
Man, I can't even look at that picture. He's so tough and intimidating. A trailer for The Accountant 2 came on my FireStick banner and I accidentally locked eyes with him--I wet myself.
Anonymous No.211701077
*takes a nice refreshing nap*
Anonymous No.211701232
Rear visit on roofie, they call it
Anonymous No.211701698 >>211702104 >>211732416
People only make fun of him because it's uncool to be a positive male role model. I turned my basement into a home gym and hung up a poster of him as an inspiration, now every day I do 5 pushups, 5 situps, 5 squats and 5 minutes MMA training. The burn local philosophy already helped me achieve more than I imagined
Anonymous No.211701995
>>211695548
funny but mightve been better if you dialed the 2nd half back a bit, either way Burnthal posting is pretty hot
Anonymous No.211702104 >>211731395
>>211701698
>every day I do 5 pushups, 5 situps, 5 squats and 5 minutes MMA training.
this but I can do 10 of each now, been training for six months, starting to look like Prime Arnold lmao
Anonymous No.211702230
>>211695548
kek
Anonymous No.211702572 >>211709068
Simmer Regional
Anonymous No.211702595 >>211731487
>whatever burns outside of my local, burns outside of my consent
Anonymous No.211703150
>>211698416
>>211691357 (OP)
This is what happens to a mf'r when your bubbe and mother tell you that you are from the chosen people and are special and other people just make fun of you because they are jealous and you actually believe it and live your life that way.
Anonymous No.211703268
>>211694123
>Mfw freeze global
Anonymous No.211703356 >>211703809
>>211695548
i don't know who's taking time from his day to come up with this shit but i appreciate it, bernthal is such a douchebag
Anonymous No.211703809
>>211703356
say what you want about the tough guy image but he always gives great performances, great in shot caller, great in walking dead, and many more
Anonymous No.211704720 >>211704794 >>211704993 >>211705366 >>211706761 >>211711100 >>211711467 >>211724769
>>211695548
This reminds me of when I was a film student and got to intern on set of a production I can't name (NDA). It was a shoot in a small town outside of California.
Jon was there and, surprisingly, was running the whole show and giving directions to everyone, including the director, writers, and producers. Essentially, he was creating the film all by himself. Between takes, he would give everyone notes, including himself. Just an insane amount of talent.

Well they set up to shoot a scene on the street of the small town. In the middle of a brilliant take (which Jon carried completely), a group of locals sauntered into the production area and interrupted the take. Jon's whole demeanour changed here. I can't describe it, but it felt like the air cooled a few degrees and everything stood still as he merely glanced in their direction. The oblivious fools laughed when the crew told them they're disrupting. Their leader, a massive muscle-bound Republican voter with a MAGA tattoo, even said "Y'all commiefornians need to go back where y'all came from". The fools hadn't realized they were already the target of Jon's silent ire. As they laughed to themselves and cracked open non-craft beers in celebration, Jon simply walked up to them.
"What's this, a librul Hollywood type? "Burn Local"? How about I freeze global, huh?".

You could have blinked and missed it. Jon, nerves solid as ice, dispatched the lead detractor with a lightning fast throat jab. His MAGA buddies piled on but Jon put them down one by one in a matter of seconds. Surrounded by unconscious Trump voters, Jon looked up at the sky and took a moment to reflect, sighing to himself before turning back and returning to the shoot. He was overheard telling the President of the studio to "get this trash off my set".

The camera was rolling the whole time btw. Jon's ass whooping was actually edited into the film. That production won "greatest fight scene ever made" at an undisclosed awards show.
Anonymous No.211704794 >>211709271
>>211704720
>I can't name (NDA)
NDA's don't last forever anon, was it more than 5 years ago or are you just scared you will get blackballed?
Anonymous No.211704857 >>211727464
le telloosumn
le askoosumn
Anonymous No.211704993
>>211704720
Wtf is this real?? I didn't know Big B was this much of a real one
Anonymous No.211705366
>>211704720
is there more of these than the two that keep getting posted?
Anonymous No.211706761
>>211695548
>>211704720
please tell me there are more.
Anonymous No.211706970
>yo you better not be freezing over there.... YO PUNK YOU FREEZING IN MY LOCAL??!
Anonymous No.211708869 >>211709108 >>211719831 >>211728056
What does "Burn Local" actually mean?
Anonymous No.211708896
I'm gonna heat natively if you know what I'm sayin
Anonymous No.211708946 >>211709488
>>211691357 (OP)
There are like 0 pictures of his feet online. unsual for a relatively high profile actor.
Anonymous No.211709068
>>211702572
Punch Asian
Anonymous No.211709108
>>211708869
stay gully and you'll find out. it seems like you're still napping. get up and do the work, no more excuses.
Anonymous No.211709180
Bros, How do i burn local? I wanna be a bad ass like bernthal
Anonymous No.211709271
>>211704794
scared i'll get greenlit
Anonymous No.211709488
>>211708946
Even in the Accountant 2 he was wearing socks with his boxers. What is he hiding?
Anonymous No.211709592
>>211691436
A respectful and talented badass? Yes, yes he is.
Anonymous No.211709943
The flames seemed to have a heartbeat. Like how the passions of man have always burned local
Anonymous No.211710064
>>211697880
Answer the gentleman's question!
Anonymous No.211710828 >>211710921 >>211719992
I told my barber I wanted the β€œburn local” but I didn’t realize my skull shape is all fucked up.

wtf do I do /tv/?
Anonymous No.211710921
>>211710828
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutis_verticis_gyrata
Anonymous No.211711100
>>211704720

> he would give everyone notes, including himself

Always gets me
Anonymous No.211711467
>>211695548
>>211704720
This just reads like my fantasies about going back in time and fixing the most embarrassing moments of my life, showing everyone at school/campus/university/armyhow cool i am and making my enemies respect/fear me. I still indulge in those fantasies sometimes.
Anonymous No.211712981 >>211713352 >>211719514 >>211724769 >>211727646
I didn't want to tell this story. But since others are coming forward, I will too.
I was on a hike across the Sequoia in Cali, enjoying the peaceful beauty of my home state. Suddenly, my audiobook was interrupted by the booming roar of a Ford F350 Supermax that tore through the pristine trail. I ducked out of its way as it tumbled past, a MAGA flag trailing above the cabin, and diesel exhaust filling the air. The truck skidded to a stop through the grassland, uprooting endangered plants and scaring a bee that flew off in distress. When the dust settled, no less than a dozen outsiders from a red state disembarked and surrounded me. They wore flannel and I even saw a weathered Cardhardt shirt among them. Most telling were the MAGA hats, red as their blood which boils with hate for minorities.

"Watch where yewr walkin, snowflake", said the biggest, most pro-Israel one as they closed in. My knees buckled and I felt faint. I lost consciousness then and there. I awoke to serenity. Birds chirped and the sun bathed me with warmth. A hand reached down, the stranger shadowed by the bright California sun behind him. All I could see was the embroidered lettering on his cap - Burn Local. I knew it was Jon from the firm yet progressive grip of his hand. When I was up, I could clearly see his chiselled features and kind smile. He asked if I was OK as I started remembering what happened. Then I saw a pile of mangled matter that were once men, and the burnt out frame of the truck they rode in on.

Jon, seeing my shocked expression, simply said, "No one extinguishes local on my watch". He made sure I was OK, gave me a bottle of organic, locally brewed, sustainably sourced iced herbal tea, and even gave me the number to his personal therapist. As he escorted me back to my car, we wowed me with stories of his adventures. I had no idea Jon was officially awarded the Most Handsome and Badass award. When we got to my car, I turned to thank him. But he was gone. Surely, off to burn local.
Anonymous No.211713352
>>211712981
>I knew it was Jon from the firm yet progressive grip of his hand
Anonymous No.211713739
We should recycle extraterrestrial.
Anonymous No.211717360
Does anyone burn local but freeze global? I like to burn where I am but freeze where I'm not
Anonymous No.211717417
>>211691436
Not until he sings about punani
Anonymous No.211719514
>>211712981
>most pro-Israel one
kek
Anonymous No.211719758
Study him.
Anonymous No.211719831
>>211708869
This and the Baskin Robbins guys seem to be in jokes that are too niche for me.
Anonymous No.211719948
>>211691436
There's too many Hollywood posers acting like their low class for him to take that mantle
Anonymous No.211719992
>>211710828
Areyeh, get Ellie to show tits
Anonymous No.211721086 >>211734073
>THAT WAS A TWO DAY BAN
Anonymous No.211723836
bump local
Anonymous No.211724769 >>211725904
>>211695548
>>211704720
>>211712981
Bros i might be losing my edge, reading those redditisms no longer inspires murderous rage within me bros, what is wrong with me...
Anonymous No.211725904
>>211724769
you've lost sight of yourself and started freezing regional instead of burning local
Anonymous No.211726306 >>211726381 >>211726518
>how you gon protect that rim ?
Anonymous No.211726381
>>211726306
Honestly this is how a real one gets down
Anonymous No.211726518
>>211726306
I could watch this clip all day kek
Anonymous No.211727464
>>211704857
*rubs head*
rig...
Anonymous No.211727646
>>211712981
>Then I saw a pile of mangled matter that were once men, and the burnt out frame of the truck they rode in on.
i was Burning Local until you said this. He would have repurposed that fucking truck.
Anonymous No.211728056
>>211708869

Typical freeze regional mindset. Grow up kid. You'll never call the shots.
Anonymous No.211730083
.
Anonymous No.211731395 >>211731792
>>211702104
Hahaha. The fact that this satire goes unacknowledge until know is unfortunate
Anonymous No.211731487
>>211702595
I don't trust jews
Anonymous No.211731611
>>211691956
[rubs head] u gonna freeze globally [rubs head] or burn local braw?
>continues rubbing scalp until there is an odor burnt flesh and exposed skull from prolonged rubbing of head
>l'mskoo'sum'n
Anonymous No.211731655
>>211695548
>Don't disrespect the sandwich parlour
lmao dead
Anonymous No.211731792
>>211731395
Satire? The fuck you mean niigga? This some real life burning locals shit.
Anonymous No.211732416 >>211733139
>>211701698
>makes a "home gym"
>has a kindergarden tier routine consisting of 10 minutes of light calisthenics with almost no volume
decent if bait, really hope it is
Anonymous No.211732478
>>211691357 (OP)
damn... I wouldn't mess with this guy, looks like he means business
Anonymous No.211732479
The fuck does burn local even mean? What's wrong with going international?
Anonymous No.211733139
>>211732416
Are you retarded?
Anonymous No.211733312
>>211691357 (OP)
Never really seen many Jon Bernthal movies. Nothing against the guy, just not really my thing. He always seems to play the tough guy characters, and from the looks of it you can sort of tell he's drawing on some real world experience, which I guess is pretty badass. Apparently he plays ball and boxes? Not surprised, he has that rugged, grew-up-in-a-rough-neighborhood type of look. A real one from the streets, not some highbrow pindown trying to fling high on the lowside. Reminds me of my old Italian buddies I used to ditch class to smoke cigarettes with. School was never really for guys like me anyway, wrong side of the tracks. "Burn local", kinda resonates with me. I heard this guy does a podcast, "Real Ones" or something? Might have to check it out, see what this guy's all about.
Anonymous No.211734073
>>211721086
Post the webm
Anonymous No.211734088
>>211691357 (OP)
>HEY KID WHY AINT YOU RAPING LITTLE INDIAN BOYS
>YOU CAN'T LEAD THIS GANG
Anonymous No.211734885
>>211694507
>>211694557
>>211695603

>>211704219
lol