>extremely funny and charismatic in interviews
>extremely boring and plain in movie roles
Why doesn’t she just do stand up? She has said many times that comedy is her favorite thing, and she has faster wit than any currently active comedians.

>>211698778 (OP)
Hi Dakota

>>211698778 (OP)
Being carefree works in short interviews. Being carefree in a movie makes it look like you dont care and your movie has no stakes

>>211698778 (OP)
Same for Daisy Ridley

>Why doesn’t she just do stand up?
women aren't funny

she should just do onlyfans

>>211698778 (OP)
>extremely funny and charismatic in interviews
she comes across as arrogant and flippant

>>211698778 (OP)
I really like her deadpan personality where it seems like she doesn't give a fuck and it quick-witted. It's attractive.

>>211699704
>NOOOOO WHERES MY HECKERINO FAKE INTERVIEWS

>>211699704
>she comes across as arrogant and flippant

>>211698778 (OP)
My wife loves her, she watches that Ellen interview all the time

I just want to call her mommy while she rides me and pretends I'm her son
is that too much to ask for?

>>211698778 (OP)
I would watch her talk show if she had one

No bangs/fringe in the Suspiria remake. Didn't even know it was her, didn't look at her twice.
Why don't all women have fringes? It's like a cheat code.

>>211700608
I wasn't expect such a big forehead, she's been cheating for years

>>211700132
Same, I think a Norm McDonald Live style show would absolutely be the best use of her. I'm convinced she would have eventually been a guest had Norm's show continued and it would have been magnificent.
>>211702051
Her grandmother had the exact same forehead, Tippi might have been able to survive the Hitchcock blacklist had she done a full fringe like say Nico was wearing back in the late 60s.

Loved her in the materialists. She is a solid actress

>>211700608
>Why don't all women have fringes? It's like a cheat code.
you must be a zoomer because all millenial women had a fringe for like 5 years. it lets them make misshapen heads look proportional like how men grow beards to hide their weak jawlines

>>211704440
She acts similarly to Greta Lee from Past Lives. I don't understand why some were surprised Celine Song would pick her for this role.
>>211705646
I don't think a fringe works for everyone, like those with smaller foreheads or weaker features. I think it was created for women like Dakota and Zooey Deschanel before her.

>>211705646
>you must be a zoomer
I must! Though I'd like to reach higher.

>>211698778 (OP)
standup is way longer content she has to come up with. do you math?

She should do onlyfans. Someone tell her she should do onlyfans

Like a hand-me-down 1996 Hyundai Accent. The exterior still looks clean and I guess it can get you where you need to go but it's no one's first choice and if there's a better option, you'd take it in a heartbeat.
also someone post the webm.

>>211698778 (OP)
Genuinely who?

>>211698778 (OP)
she's doing a reverse wall
got hotter with age

>>211706050
>I don't think a fringe works for everyone
Well, I've read that, but I've seen no evidence to backs it up. They say a round face can appear more round (I dunno, I'm guessing that's not good).
I looked up "celebs with round faces", then I looked up Charlotte Church fringe and nearly messed my britches.
A fringe basically adds 5 points to your shagability stat, and there doesn't seem to be any downside.

>>211706308
The Rachel Weisz strategy is very underused.

>>211706277
And the digits. Good.

>>211700608
>suspiria
damn, that IS a fivehead
but the bangs suit her and shes still very beautiful
how does she not have a bf or kid by now? its not her looks for sure, picky or lesbian?

>>211700608
what the FUCK
i would've never guessed this was her

>>211706336
>then I looked up Charlotte Church fringe
Not sure if it's the fringe doing the heavy lifting here, anon.

>>211698778 (OP)
She makes my dick stand up if you catch my drift

>>211706741
literally a receded hairline, you can see where her forehead ends. REAPED

>>211707102
No, her forehead was massive even as a child

>>211707102
Women don't get receding hairlines in their 20s you fucking retard. Some people just have huge foreheads.

>>211706741
trying to watch this rn and the modern dance bit plus the horrible english accents kinda make me cringe

>>211707401
>horrible english accent
I'm guessing Mia Goth just turned up :D
People need to stop pretending she's a good actress.

>>211707572
>Mia Goth
Fringeanon, I think you might be on to something.

>>211698778 (OP)
She was so pretty eating wings bros

>>211698778 (OP)
i just want her to pee in my mouth. idgaf about the rest

>>211707879
I'm guessing the fantasy would be a lot better than the reality, anon.
I walked into a public toilet today and it stunk.

I like big foreheads, but I can't argue with science.

>>211708633
I saw a photo of the pornstar Gauge once and she had a fringe. She looked different, but I'm gonna stick my neck out and say that she looked worse.
The exception that proves the rule?

>>211698778 (OP)
>extremely funny and charismatic in interviews
Highly debatable
>extremely boring and plain in movie roles
Accurate, and not at all debatable

>>211698778 (OP)
she's a woke moralist

>>211711477
yeah idc about that shit i just enjoy looking at her

>>211711477
Wow. She can wake me up and moralise the absolute living Christ out of me.

>>211711477
That whole faux-demure "oh, my, I sure did wear my shortest of skirts today, best yank that down. Oh dear, the baps are roaming free, Fiddle-de-dee, whatever was I thinking?"
I think anon was right, she's not a good actress :D

>>211698778 (OP)
She's grown on me and I liked Materialists. She's hot too, so what's not to like?

>>211711477
Take off the stockings.

>>211698778 (OP)
She’s a nepo baby. Her acting range is extremely limited, like most of them these days. No real talent, just connections.

>>211698778 (OP)
I love white women

>>211712590
this. Plus she used to be fat

>>211711477
Literally the only reason to watch late night talk shows.
>Legs.

>>211711477
She's really not--one of the reasons filmtwitter hates her is because she spoke up for Labeouf, Hammer, and Depp and trashed cancel culture. And she was making an obvious joke here with her good friend Fallon.
>>211712499
Based and checked.

>>211711477
Yes

>>211712679
Did she really fuck Obama? It seemed like a sure thing a while back but it just got memoryholed all of a sudden.

>>211698778 (OP)
Her performance is Madame Web was one of the most bizarre things I've seen in a big budget movie. I could feel her contempt for the whole thing every time she was on screen. Hilarious watch.

>>211698778 (OP)
>dry vagina
Had a gf looked just like her or had the same look in her eyes that Dakota has. Just dead inside, aloof, cynical on five different psych meds. Sex was a chore, needed tons of lube. My friends thought I was gay when I broke up with her, but it was the best move I ever made in my life.

ok im done watching suspiria and that was just weird
must be for women or something

>>211714313
You watched the wrong one.

>>211714313
and there you have it

>>211713103
Barry is a fag.

>>211711477
>stockings

Fucking slut

>>211698778 (OP)
She oozes sex more than any other hollywood whore, it's something to behold

>>211698778 (OP)
You tell that talentless nepocunt to check this thread out
>>211715674

THAT'S how you do fucking Press for a tentpole film. And when Superman destroys Fantastic Four, this bitch better apologize for damaging the Marvel brand!

wtf, I love Dakota Johnson now?!

>>211698778 (OP)
she is just pure sex
that's all shes for.

>>211698778 (OP)
She should just record Joi videos as a career

she has really sexy feet

>>211717212
like im not even a big foot guy but i wanna fuck her feet

>>211698778 (OP)
>>extremely funny and charismatic in interviews
>>extremely boring and plain in movie roles
I don't give a shit about any of that. i just want to huff her taint.

She's deadpan
Has the whole "funbitch" thing down
And is in the wrong kind of roles.

She's tailor made for the serious female role of a thriller movie. She's not going to carry a movie based on pure sex appeal or comedy.

But she has the personality to make an ensemble better.

I also want to punch her cervix with my fat 9 incher.

>>211717712
>She's tailor made for the serious female role of a thriller movie.
She had that in Black Mass and was terrible there too
Pretty sure they cut a lot of her scenes down

>>211714313
I liked it

I find her genuinely unsettling and I think she's a psychopath.

Imagine not being Dakotapilled. Like why even live if you can't appreciate her?

>>211713400
>needed tons of lube
Wtf

Why isnt she a registered sex offender

I don't care for girls with tatts

>>211719201

>>211719254
Her Birds tat on her shoulderblade is cool and a nice homage to her grandmother's movie but the scribbles on her forearms do suck. I still can't resist her though because of her voice and eyes.

>>211699492
"people" who have never seen golden girls should not be allowed to post on this board

>>211698778 (OP)
she is casual gothmaxxing

her piercing blue eyes that she gets from her father along wit the long dark hair. it is her best look

>>211698778 (OP)
Face of a granny

>>211720035
Agreed. She had the blacker hair for Madame Web and I always thought she was cute but the way that set off her eyes made go see that bad movie twice. And I can't emphasize how pleasant her voice is enough, she could make so much bank in ASMR or audiobooks.

>>211707572
>>211707401
Mia Goth is English

>>211720478
her accent makes me incredibly horny (Im English)

>>211720539
>(Im English)
I'm sorry.

>>211720617
meh. it has its moments

>>211715715
You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and pus. Man I tell ya...

>>211699437
That retarded bitch is the complete opposite in interviews

>>211707666
>Ben Affleck refused to impregnate this
Is he gay?

>>211711477
She's completely talentless, but there's something about her that oozes sexo whenever I see her. She probably makes a great cum dumpster for all the Hollywood producers so she can keep getting work.

If a story came out that she ran a sex cult I'd completely believe it.

>>211714961
>the dance school is named Tanz

>>211698778 (OP)
She's one classy babe!

>>211699704
kek look at this loser, did you get ptsd from Stacy bullying you anon?

It was so hot when she kept molesting Cailee on camera during that interview

>>211698778 (OP)
She just got dumped by her latest rockstar BF for being a full blown retard. Fucking your fiancés friends is only funny for so long.

Same thing happened with her best friend Addison Timlin and the dude from "The Bear". I actually have leaks of Addison with some random dude sucking her tits.

>>211698778 (OP)
I think shes really cool like as a person

>>211714961
The remake is also set in Berlin because that's the only german city the modern audience *might* know and they could put all that other superfluous bullshit in that made that piece of shit a good hour longer than it should have been

>>211713103
I never heard about this? Like she banged him before he was President?

>>211719201
>>211719349
the Hollywood lesbian cabal is more powerful than the Hollywood gay mafia

>>211721987
>Dance Dance Academy

can't wait for the DDR themed spinoff

>>211712679
>>211713103
>>211724888
She banged him after the Presidency but before the Divorce rumors swirled. That's part of the reason it was kept under wraps to the public, but Michelle knew about it.

Let's get back to nepobabies. Does /tv/ think it's weird that DJ is besties with Hyde's sister (Masterson)? You know, the rapist from that 70s show.

>>211725081
>Hyde's sister (Masterson)
huh I didn't know that girl from TWD was Masterson's sister

>>211725165
It's true! Do you know why Dakota acts the way she does? She knows where bodies are buried. She's Old Hollywood.

What does it even matter though? Jussie Smollett was sentenced to prison and he's already back making movies.

>>211698778 (OP)
>extremely funny

Mildly funny anon, mildly.

>>211721678
no. he already has enough ex wives and shithead offspring. now he only lives for the druk.

her voice is really sexy

>>211725363
She reminds me of sarah michelle geller's character from cruel intentions.
Like she's navigated the hell of hollywood and upper echelon's power and lived problem free.
Which speaks of powerful connections or remarkable cunning and willpower.

Or her pussy game ridiculous and she just fucked her way out of trouble.

>>211726743
Anon look at her family.

>>211719050
She's just a dime-a-dozen narcissist, hiding her insecurity behind sexuality. Psychopaths are rare.

>>211698778 (OP)
No ass nepobaby

>>211698778 (OP)
>extremely funny and charismatic
I wouldn't say "extremely".
Why do people on the internet always have to exaggurate and hyperbole?

>>211729363
It's fair.

>>211725081
She dated his brother

>>211726736
Yes

>>211698778 (OP)
It would be funny if she used my face as a toilet while belittling my weiner haha

>>211719050
she’s just a rich girl lol