Thread 212189582

>outkinos anything /tv/ has ever fellated
>kinomogs your favorite movie
>goatmaxxed kino of all time
Do I need to go on?

>>212189582 (OP)
I had zero interest watching this and still haven't, in contrast to Project Hail Mary that I only learned was a thing today and am absolutely pumped to see it.

How is that?

This movie sucked. It's a Marvel movie for science obsessed redditors. it's nihilistic, boring, stupid. Terrible movie.

>>212189645
>Project Hail Mary
that looks cool.
>How is that?
its a slow burn, its nice if you like military sci fi settings, secret operations, compartmentalization. kinda like 2001. theres an interesting experience of combat in it.
i watched it awhile ago and i dont particularly remember the messaging its trying to send, but it's trying to be "deep" to an extent.

>>212189582 (OP)
>Bunch of nu-speak goobledygook
yep typical ad astra fag

>>212189669
>nihilistic
The one thing it's not.

>>212189849
Isn't the movie literally about us being alone and it's some crushing revelation? I couldn't take it seriously with how bad the acting was.

>>212189582 (OP)
Nothing Happens: The Movie

>out of nowhere, for no reason
>ZOMG! MOON PIRATEZ!!!111!!
and I turned it off

>>212190050
>orbital freefall
>moon pirates
>rocket hijacking
>space monkey
>neptune surfing
Fuck you.

>>212190091
aaaaw you missed the best scene
>Brad pits "character" is diving through a canal and pulling on a rope
>This is after he gets a major revelation and his emoions come to the surface
Well I guess this is kinda getting clever with symboli
>Brad pitt narating "I AM BEIGN REBORN"
Yes thank you now for those in the cheap seats mr pitt
And don't get me started on that retarded scene that follows where physics starts to operate on cartoon logic

>>212190147
>a bunch of random, unrelated stuff

They should have scrapped the entire movie except for the moon pirates and just built a movie off of them
I have so many questions...

how does it even end, why was his dad an ass? didn't he find nothing?

>>212190333
I am the Ad Astra loremaster, I can answer any questions you may have.

>>212190375
I barely remember because I disliked it, but I think the Dad found out there are no aliens and he had to kill himself because he couldn't handle it.

>>212190255
>bunch of stuff that happens =/ nothing happens
I win.

The gay one from Germany didn't get invited to basketball?
>>212190147

>>212190416
You are arguing on a technicality that ignores the fact that nothing in the movie matters until the very end.

>>212190382
Why did they say they sent the reasearch vessel beyond the solar system when it it around Neptune?

>>212190382
What do the moon pirates eat?
What is their tax policy?

>>212190250
>I AM COMING OUT OF THE SPACE VAGINA
>MY EXIT REPRESENTS MY NEW BIRTH
>*stares at camera*
>MY NEW BIRTH

>>212190382
When they took off from mars the ship was accelerating however everyone way floating inside
Then when they separated lower stage the woman afronaut fell to the back of the ship and died
What kind of crack was the screenwriter smoking during his physics 101 class?

>>212190525
The moon is made of cheese.

>>212190584
lol this just reminded me of some kid in high school who would press his hands together and then squeeze his head through while shouting "I'M FREEE NOW!"

>>212189582 (OP)
Faggot OP posted this same post a week or two ago and I saw it and it made me watch this film thinking it was gonna be kino. It was not and while I don't regret watching it (only because I liked Brad Pitt and because the movie has some really nice visuals/cinematography), I was left disappointed at the end of it and with a bad taste in my mouth.

It can be summed up as normie tier life lessons disguised as a sci-fi film. It's diluted and bogged down scifi. Sci-fi made specifically to cater to the average joe and normies. The only way you can call it sci-fi is if you completely disregard the entire plot.

It's like they made a film that would cater to both normies as well as sci-fi nerds. But I don't think it does a good job of satisfying either. Normies probably ate it all up though to be honest and would have sat there sitting bored or on their phones during the scenes with actual sci-fi shit happening.

>>212190662
When I walked out of the theater I was thinking "That was a Marvel movie for pseudointellectuals."

>>212190466
No, you said nothing happens, I proved the contrary. That's not a mere technicality, that's the essence of your claim. Nevermind that they're stringed together linearly as hurdles that the protagonist must overcome to reach his destination, that are neither improbable in this alternative future scenario, nor meaningless (the moon pirates are an allegory for the perils of solitude (moon), such as becoming increasingly susceptible to company only looking for material spoils; the killer space ape is a metaphor for his father's violent anger and abuse; the freefalling is his reality crumbling over unexpected developments, etc.). You are a retard.

>>212190796
You literally can't make a movie where nothing happens. That would be called footage. Checkmate, fag.

>>212190872
>You literally can't make a movie where nothing happens
There's heaps of those on any given streaming platform.

>>212190796
the moon pirates are improbable and were only shoehorned into the movie because some producer demanded a chase scene in the second act
how can they be a allegory for the perils of solitude? solitude means no one is there, not random pirates are there

>He captured strange and distant worlds in greater detail than ever before. They were beautiful, magnificent... full of awe and wonder. But beneath their sublime surfaces... there was nothing. No love or hate. No light or dark. He could only see what was not there... and missed what was right in front of him.
Too honest and thoughtful for /tv/. Your average shit for brains zombie zoomer, with his synapses completely brutalized by TikTok and capeshit, could never grasp this level of Kinography.

>>212190721
Pretty much. The gist I got is that it's made to appeal to normies and people who can't stand actual sci-fi and need something 'human' in the film for them to find it worth watching. In other words, they want a simple story with simple emotions they can relate to, which is what this film is pretty much. The label of sci-fi does not belong to this film beyond purely aesthetics/how it looks on the surface.

>>212190662
I'm not sure if OP's trolling or genuinely likes the movie that much. Either way I admire the autistic dedication.

>>212190950
>strange and distant worlds
>No light or dark
choose one

>>212189582 (OP)
i thought it was awesome too

>>212191214
Hey zoomie, don't EVER @ me again. I think Zendaya just tweeted something, go take a look

>>212189582 (OP)

Are you kidding?

Moon-pirates, murderous space-baboon, hijacking a multistage rocket at launch, from the ground without anyone noticing?

And let's not get started on the gay psychobabble daddy-complex gender politics that overshadows the whole plot.
>Wah! Duty and masculinity is such a burdensome cross to bear. I wish I could be free of it and wear dresses!

Faggotshit.

>>212191273
Based high IQ individual.

>>212190584
Don't even give it that much credit, the original concept for the scene was to have an underwater fight with a maintenance robot.

>>212189582 (OP)
define outkinos, kinomogs and goatmaxxed

So what is the complaint that this isn't scifi? Is it because it's not star wars trek? You'd accept it more if it was done in an xwing rather than a more grounded space vessel design?

>>212191366
not an argument, gen whiner

>>212190599
The same crack they were smoking when they advertised it as hard sci-fi yet had Brad Pitt call his dad from Mars and expect an instantaneous response

>>212189582 (OP)
wasted potential: the movie
the studio insisted on adding an a-lister as the lead and adding random action scenes, thinking it would sell the movie better, but instead they ruined what could've unironically be the 2001:Space Odyssey of this generation

>>212191749
If it was an X Wing at least you'd know to suspend disbelief. This movie was a disjointed mess that tries to be hard scifi yet has bad science and scenes like moon pirates that don't fit

>>212192025
What's wrong with moon pirates? I can absolutely see in the semi-near future, when humans are out a bit in the solar system, there being factions that pirate from others. It'd be way harder to combat them than on Earth

>somehow you can just climb on a rocket and just enter through some back door
>you can just smash into rocks with your shield in space and it wont alter you trajectory nor make you spin around

>>212189582 (OP)
>climax takes place at the lonely edge of the solar system over the most depressing blue planet in the solar system

Literally takes place on the precipice of the literal void of deep space, people who don;t appreciate that and how it relates t the characters are fucking sunshineboy faggots and/or probably from India

>>212190091
>>212190250
>>212190584

look at these two thinly-veiled homosexuals gulp down each other's farts, pretending they're fake laughing at each other over a water cooler

>>212189582 (OP)
I'd rather you didn't

>>212192629
Should have been on Pluto

Has there ever been a greater pleb filter? Truly it's staggering

>>212192698
two bros making fun of a pseudo intellectual film = homosexual
idk man you should stop thinking about male asses his much

>>212193439
It filters every middle of the curve pseud, it's incredible.

>>212192698
>two thinly-veiled homosexuals
uh, excuse me, it's three

>>212190525
They got a letter of marque from China. Loot and intel is traded with China.

>>212195994
When is Pirates of the Caribbean: IN SPACE! coming out?