>>212281355 (OP)some people got it. most people don't. And I think I'm acutely qualified to sort them.
I don't hate fake tits, there's even some I like (Rikki Six, Ava Addams, Peta Jensen), but good lord the girl on the right got bad luck. Still would though, without so much as a thought.
Who was that goth chick from old YouTube? That would be an ok choice.
>>212281483hannah minx. rip in pieces bitch
basically every egirl today is trying to be some combination of elvira and kreayshawn
>>212281355 (OP)They may be implants but big tits on a near-skeletal figure is super hot, a white man's dream. Movies for this?
>>212281507Yes! The name was on the tip of my dick, she would be great if she was into old horror.
>>212281355 (OP)>nature's voluptuous beauty vs. artificial trashdon't think we'll get another Elvira, not now that no one can discuss goths and emos without the word "mommy" or "domination"
these days most goth girls are stuck-up horror-movie addicted cunts, we lost all the cute funny ones
There's a great Larkin Love porn video where she does an Elvira roleplay
>>212281355 (OP)left > right
even at 80 Elvira still mogs zoomer whores
>>212281355 (OP)she should try one for every country
>>212281355 (OP)Probably not because she still markets a ton of merch with her likeness, but when was the last time she even hosted a movie, like 30 years ago?
Daddario dressed up as Elvira would be hot affff
>>212281355 (OP)That's a man? The one with the weird things on his chest that don't touch and the awful cheap wig?
>>212281355 (OP)You could fit the USS Indianapolis in between those things.
Ariana Grande is a fucking bitch for the crap she pulled with Elvira.
Elvira is lovable and actually funny. She's one in a million, even rarer. Bitches can be hot all day but how many of them actually have personalities you enjoy?
>>212281978Premium new Elvira could tip the balance.
>>212281355 (OP)Elvira is literally a parody of Vampira and she eclipsed her in popularity 40 years ago. Although for horror hosts, my favorite is Nostalgiaferatoo.
>>212281572>a white man's dreamspeak for yourself, oh wait
just kidding I donโt play like that. but that was a solid burn, letโs be honest
goth women are so hot bros. I NEED TO HAVE SEX WITH GOTH GIRLS!
>>212281355 (OP)thanks ms skeltal with booba
>>212281443girls with fake tits want your validation and easier to get than girls with real tits.
I wouldn't have thought kitschy corny late night horror hosts would endure into the 21st century and still find it a peculiar holdover every time.
>>212282033Good thing that's what I named my cock
>>212282537Dont think so hard about it. Women are hypocritical incompetent low iq adult sized toddlers.
>>212281978Maybe several years ago it wouldve been hot
>>212282537> feel a slight breeze> forgot your tits are literally hanging outnever got the braless blazer thing
>>212282575Elvira likes fun and getting what she wants by being hot, the way women should be.
>>212281355 (OP)she already made a show where she picks the next Elvira.
>>212282575its the best way to watch shitty horror movies.
>>212281355 (OP)How can she be so much hotter than a woman 1/3 her age?
>>212282423Sexy AND smart. Sounds like a winning combination.
https://nypost.com/2021/09/23/elvira-reveals-photo-of-her-girlfriend-says-theyre-relieved/
Why are you worried about your small dick when even a dude with no dick at all can get Elvira?
My secretary is a big tiddy goth. I feel blessed
>>212281548she married some lucky rich dude and he's bee fucking her ever since
>>212284670they divorced twenty years ago and she's a lesbo now
>>212281483what about her?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rroHLGguhP8
>>212285202She's actually smart for staying in the closet and not going all out for pride. She would have tanked her career.
>>212281355 (OP)neither is perfect, too close, too apart lol.
>>212285202>>212285095no you dumbasses I'm talking about Hannah Minx
>>212282175Don't be gross, Anon!
>>212282223>NostalgiaferatooWhen is going to team up with Teddy Roosevelt already?
>>212281355 (OP)Damn, I could fit my whole forearm between that trench running through her tits. First, I'd slather it in oil
>>212281355 (OP)she looks more like a littlefeather successor with these boltons
>>212285840doesn't count if megafat with a tight corset
>>212285534>>212281548Shes married and settled with kids and has been out of the public eye IIRC
>212281935
>212285569
some guy took 6 months off his gpu training this
>>212285099She has nice bre*sts (pardon my language)
>>212286696Uhh... training is a lot lighter than inference and my 4090 is undervolted by 15% (it doesn't break 450W now - it can easily draw 700W).
>>212281355 (OP)I always thought she would be 10/10 smoking hot if it wasn't for that distractingly stupid looking hairdo
>>212287716She kind of looks like Susan Sarandon's Daughter
>>212281355 (OP)it's time for a BLACK Elvira
get Ellie the Empress on the phone
>>212284769Heh... Is that video still up?
>>212283142I'll hang out with prime Elvira and her tits through any old piece of shit.
>>212281355 (OP)Many years ago there was a tv event that involved searching for the new Elvira. They picked some woman. Then everyone immediately forgot about it.
What did she mean by this?
>>212289202she likes italian sausage topping
>>212281355 (OP)they literally had a reality show about her getting a successor, whatever happened to that?
>>212281355 (OP)You can train a successor for her talents only breed one.
>>212289172it would be boring compared to her existing work
>>212281355 (OP)this pic really sums up whats wrong with women today. they have no idea how to be sexy. how does having rock hard tits with a giant gap between them = attractive? it doesnt
>>212290108she would look so good tho
>>212282537they get gross and sweaty unless you give them air flow
>>212286782>mask that covers entire chin and most of neck>headphones (hides fatty ears and cheeks)>every single picture is tits up with a corset onthis bitch is borderline obese 100%
>>212281355 (OP)Here's the thing, modern women just can't be as funny as Elvira. You came for the booba but your brain made you stay because she makes you feel safe and happy
>>212285202Hold the fuck up, she's not just Elvira, she's a naturally blue-eyed ginger? Jesus Christ.
>>212281935Ain't this that Jenny from star wars related content?
>>212283593Why is there a sad little girl in the background?
>>212281914her tits have only gotten bigger with age
>>2122819354 years ago since she had a marathon thing on Shudder, before that though was in 2014
>>212282423shame
>>212283140did it amount to anything?
It says here your last Elvira goon session was 2 weeks ago. Let's fix that.
>>212285099thought she was so hot until i saw how ugly her baby daddy is, now im not attracted to her at all, cant find her attractive knowing she is content to make such bad choices and get knocked up by an ugly kiwi cuck who was fine waiting for her sloppy seconds while she was in europe getting married and banging germans
>>212285840don't know what the fascination with uber tits is.
they fucking stink when you lift them up and all the trapped sweat and dead skin cells fly out and as you get older they're literally going to turn into two big testicles
>>212293947>big tits are smellysniffags just keep on winning
>>212281355 (OP)We had a successor but internet weirdos scared her off
>>212294518honestly what did she expect
whore on the right should be ashamed flaunting those plastic bolters next to Cassandraโs perfect natties
>>212289343They had a winner, but afterwards Peterson decided she wanted to keep being Elvira anyway so it was for fuck all.
Though I did hear from a friend of a friend that the winner chick "gave the best head".
Cassandra built her comedy skills and persona at Groundlings. None of these modern OF whores are funny or willing to hone their comedy skills.
>>212281355 (OP)Too bad the doctors do her tit job couldnโt stand to be in the same room together
>>212294518This cunt was pure cancer.
>>212281355 (OP)Hannah Minx but she quit the internet years ago
>>212282423deranged leftist but uses her tits and the attention that men give her to have a career. Many such cases.
>>212295209You don't need to announce your homosexuality to everyone
>>212281355 (OP)Why bother getting fake tits that are this far apart?
>>212285202wow tom jones must have really done a number on her
Didn't she fuck a BBC?
Dropped.
What about Darcy the Mail Girl aka former actual Pornstar Diana Prince?
>>212281443Idk I like the fake tits that hella separate like hers
>>212296830This. When Elvira, Joe Bob and Svengoolie pass on, Diana Prince will take on the mantle
>>212297069...? how its just bizarre anti reality. Maybe if youre super fucked in the head i could understand it
>>212281355 (OP)real natty fluffiness can't be surapassed
Elvira was in 2 games last year as DLC. She has been doing a great job keeping herself relevant
>>212297271I never noticed how yellow her eyes are.
she looks like blackie lawless...
>>212294518I've jerked off to Hannah Minx on mute several times
>>212295209gay
I don't think there can really be a successor to Elvira. She was a standout character for the horror subculture in a time when very few women would adopt a persona like that. Now, if you go to Twitch, or Onlyfans, or YouTube, or whatever, you'll find dozens of girls doing Elvira's schtick. The world doesn't need a new Elvira, but she should be happy to know that the world has embraced the subculture and even encourages people to take on personas and have fun with it.
>>212298160This. Imagine some fucked up bizarro world where hundreds of middle-aged men started competing to be the new Bob Ross or Mr. Rogers. Elvira was a product of her times, and not only do I think it's unrealistic to get a second Elvira-I think the people most likely to try are also the girls I'd least want for the position.
>>212298160Nothing against Elvira, she seems like a nice lady, but come on. It seems like her entire career was built on boob jokes. I was going to watch the Elvira movie, but I decided to watch a trailer for it first and it was just
>"My eyes are up here!" *slide whistle* >haha, she's cleaning and her boobs are shaking! >"My boobs are real big!" >"Hey look I'm taking a bath and wearing just a towel, isn't that wacky?" >"Ah-wooo-gah! I'm a boy and I like your boobs!" I guess I was expecting something a little less corny.
>>212299203potentially the single gayest post ever posted on this website
what the fuck is this thread about
>>212300152It's about Jenny Nicholson being the perfect Elvira replacement; she's got the body, the wits and a love for so-bad-they're-good movies.
>>212299203>I guess I was expecting something a little less corny.From Elvira? Her whole thing is corny jokes
>>212281355 (OP)Do people even like when a woman's tits are so far apart like that?
>>212293947>dead skin cells create lift, therefore going airborne>literally turning into two big testiclesAnd I bet you're the smart one in your family.
>>212282423I think the fact no one knows that is a testament to her professionalism.