Thread 212290805

This movie was trash. One of if not the worst Jurassic Park movie. Scarlett being hot was the only thing that saved it.

>>212290805 (OP)
>Scarlett being hot
STOP YOUR MALE GAZE
SHE HATES IT

The first 5 minutes of this was probably the worst thing ever released into theaters in the past 25 years.

>>212290805 (OP)

>MORE MOMMIE GOON PORN

That’s literally all I want from these JW movies now anyways.

You can only watch a dinosaur chomp on someone in so many ways. Whereas BDH and SCARJO’s assets never cease to captivate and amaze.

>shot for shot remake of scenes from the original movie
>only deaths are from redshirts
>title is literally meaningless and has no connection to the plot whatsoever
>every character is a braindead moron
>mutant dinosaurs look fucking retarded
>THE ENTIRE PLOT OF THE LAST TRILOGY of dinosaurs coming back to roam the earth... is fucking resolved off screen

Fuck this piece of shit.

>>212291126

No way. How could it be THAT bad?

Is it someone staring at a wall for 5 minutes?

>>212291252
A fat retard eats a snickers and the wrapper is what gets him killed, he dies like a bitch screaming like a cartoon and then it goes into the jurassic logo in the most autistic way possible. Then it casually says how the entire fact from the last movie that DINOSAURS CAME BACK TO LIFE was resolved off screen.

Pour one out for our raptor homies.

>>212291248

Yeah, but how does SCARJO look? Is she has mommie hot as BDH?

>>212291284
>he dies like a bitch screaming like a cartoon

Sounds comfy, and funny TBPH.

>>212291296
She's probably on par with BDH from the first JW

>>212291248
>mutant dinosaurs
i dont care. why do i want to see fictional monsters? i'd watch godzilla, not JP.

>>212291212

Yummy mommies

>>212291365
>40 year old women mogging 20 year old laura dern

>>212291332

Even the dinos wanna F her.

>>212291365
>>212291332
>>212291296
>>212290805 (OP)
is this supposed to be a joke?

>>212291392

BDH in JW1 ruined me for all other chicks.

I still watch JW1 at least one or two times a month just for her.

>>212291426
It’s Jewish propaganda because this movie is flopping

>>212291399
Needs a cross over with A.I with some kissing

JP > JP2 > JW2 > JW > JP3 > JW3 > JW rebirth

>>212291426

Sorry, bro. I’ve been a Scarlett simp since I saw her in Ghost World. What can I say. When she’s 60 I’ll probably still be a fanboy simp for her.

>>212290805 (OP)
The movie itself is 3/10, but it shoots up to 8/10 if you see it in 4DX, shit was boring at first but got intense starting when the Mosasaurus showed up.

t. just came back from seeing it

Prediction:

Normalfags are going to love this. If you removed Scarlett from the movie, this would have a fan reception worst than The Last Jedi.

>>212291284
i don't get it. why would that be in a movie

>>212291248
>THE ENTIRE PLOT OF THE LAST TRILOGY of dinosaurs coming back to roam the earth... is fucking resolved off screen
Why isn't anyone bringing this up in reviews? they threw out the entire point of this nu series.

>>212292267
I will now watch your movie.

>>212292421
She's jewish tho

>>212291296
Maybe but she's nowhere near as hot as later BDH

>>212292267
I thought she had nerfed her tits?

The only good thing about this film was the spinosaurus scenes where they ate two of the literal whos even then they’re only good for the simple fact that they managed to capture that weird visceral energy you get when you see someone get their shit snapped up by a crocodile. Everything else about the film was mediocre. Still pissed they pulled the same shit people got ornery about in JP3 by having the Rex get mauled by the spino, only now it’s on behalf of the raptors. I thought they’d learned by now that whorf effecting beloved classics to show off the new shit was a bad idea.

>>212292603
she pads her brazier

>>212293495
perhaps he's wondering why you'd reduce a breast before padding a brazier

I don't care how much it fits or doesn't fit into the story, but the new fat fucker o' saurus is so dumb looking and off-putting that I won't see the film just because of that

>>212292535
orly

>>212291296
Bogged and chubby since shes sitting in half the scenes

>>212291365
god damn, aunt Claire was so hot, it's unreal

>>212293565
they're big boobs

>>212290805 (OP)
why is her ponytail so tight it's like she's getting her hair pulled during doggy

>>212293734
Is she pron?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jurassic_World_Rebirth
So the mutants only show up at the very beginning and at the very end? Lmao

>>212291248
>THE ENTIRE PLOT OF THE LAST TRILOGY of dinosaurs coming back to roam the earth... is fucking resolved off screen
It was never realistic, if something like this ever happened irl chinks would massacre them all in a week

>>212291399
cloaca deep

>>212292199
That is dumb but dinosaurs taking over the planet in incredibly retarded.

I read a good review of it.
>ROLLED OUT for JURASSIC WORLD REBIRTH. SCARJO RULES! So much SETTING SAIL! BIG-ASS OCEAN! Dumb family. Samples coming in in their LITTLE PARACHUTE funny every time. Finale 900 DECADES LONG. Rupert Friend MVP. World record suspense scenarios easily solved.
>GREAT EXPERIENCE!

>>212290805 (OP)

I want to have passionate anal sex with 24 year old ScarJo. I want to call her "my girl" while she farts from her gaping asshole.

>>212293880
>Tribtastic Park

>>212290805 (OP)
Who's that fatso hag?

>>212291284
>A fat retard eats a snickers and the wrapper is what gets him killed
This is literally in the second book.