jesus christ that was bad

So... par for the course?

Why do they keep shoehorning mutant hybrid monsters into these movies? Nobody gives a fuck about them, they're just generic CG monsters.

>movie becomes about a random spic family 1/4th of the way in

>>212323113
>Nobody gives a fuck about them, they're just generic CG monsters.
I found the in-universe explanation hilariously on point: people were getting bored at the usual dinos and the company was struggling to innovate with what they already had, so they struck the genius idea of creating new dinosaurs to entice the public. It's so fucking apt for these soulless psychopathic corps that you have to find it endearing.

>>212323035 (OP)
>Another Jurrasic movie is awful
>This is somehow surprising
At this point, they just need to hire Duchovny, Gillen and Pascal and get it over with.
But my best Schadenfreude out of this is how everyone was pumped for the 2015 movie and how it was the coolest things for zoomershits. Here you are, 5 movies later. Enjoying the ride?

>>212323035 (OP)
I hear the dinosaurs shift scale depending on the scene, and if that poster is anything to go by then holy shit

>>212323301
The “D-Rex” eats a helicopter like a chicken wing, then is smaller while it chases a nigger

>>212323386
Dynamic-Rex

>>212323113
the worst part isn't that they keep shoehorning mutant hybrid monsters into the movie, the worst part is that they do that and then don't even do anything cool or fun with them. these movies could be absolute over the top sci-fi cringekino but they keep trying to take the premise seriously.

This movie has some of the most in-your-face product placement I’ve seen in at least a year. Two whole scenes dedicated to Altoids.

>>212323932

I like Altoids

>>212323815
The retarded part is that all mutant dinos could be replaced with regular dinos and it would hardly make a difference. It's not like they can't make up their own gimmicks and put them on existing dinos anyway e.g. Dilophosaurus spitting venom and having a frilled neck.

>Fall of the Rise of the Dominion of the Jurassic World: Rebirth
Well... it can't be worse then the one were James Cromwell sold dinosaurs out of his basement to European gangsters and Chinamen in some kind of black market auction.

>>212323386
Welcome the Gareth Edwards school of filmmaking. Godzilla did the same thing.

Superman sweep?

>>212323035 (OP)
can anyone explain this gun? looks like a syringe for extracting blood sample so why the fuck does it have a scope?

>>212330431

Yeah, it’s a “dart gun” that has to be fired within 10 meters of the Dino, since the Dino’s hyde is 4 inches thick which is a lot of thick skin to penetrate.

Only 10 meters away.

Yet some how it has/needs a scope on it and the shooter constantly uses the scope!!

It’s like firing at the side of a barn the Dinos so big, but they hilariously use a fucking scope.

>>212326608
I see the Altoid Internet Defence Force is here early.
Can you really trust a mint that has been kicked out of 109 convenience store chains?

>>212323035 (OP)
It's really good in 4DX, felt like a park ride.
But I can see how you can get bored if you see it in a normal theater.

>>212323035 (OP)
The dinos being used so sparsely in the og film is what made it so great.

>>212323035 (OP)

I honestly didn’t believe all the terrible reviews, but now having seen it, I have to say they are all fucking dead on.

This slop is by far the worst Jurassic movie yet, and that’s saying a shit ton.

It’s mind-boggling how Universal can keep fucking up such a simple formula movie. These are suppose to be big, fun, thrilling, scary adventure flicks. And instead Rebirth is a stupid, groan-inducing Latino family drama filled with boring characters who have zero charisma or likeability. There’s also a stupid “mission” by SCARJO’s group to collect Dino blood samples which is just as uninteresting.

2/10 at best

>>212330975

The “Jaws technique.”

Works if you have a brilliant director and DP crafting the tension, along with an epic musical score (a la Jaws), but Rebirth has none of those things.

>>212330995
It's better than the second trilogy.

>>212323035 (OP)
the dinos in this movie behave illogically, their behavior only makes sense if you consider that it's a movie and the main characters aren't allowed to die
and that's why it sucks
>Mosasaurus
keeps doing those bodyslams out of the water
but instead of hitting the boat it keeps doing them right next to the boat for no reason???
for a while it just swims next to the boat like it's trying to flee from them, makes sense because it gives them the perfect shot to extract the sample lol
>Spinosaurus
there's 3 in the water with the Mosa and they just fuck off with the 1 human they grab off the boat, you can literally see them in the background when they make it to the beach
why would the Spinos not continue chasing them? the smart glasses guy even yells at the others to drag the bags faster because Spinos are amphibious but literally nothing happens
funnily enough there's a 4th spino, it's sleeping on the beach and grabs 1 human and fucks off
>Trex
why doesn't it care about the yellow raft expanding right in front of it when it wakes up?
instead of just fucking chomping down on the Mexicans the Trex proceeds to shove his head under the raft to tip it over... why? just grab one
it also immediately fucks off after tipping over the raft instead of trying to chimp at them and walks along the shore further ahead waiting for them???? this was so bizarre to watch that I want a webm of it
>Pteranodon
somehow it lets itself get distracted by a small bone thrown at it from outside the nest and completely gives up on defending ITS FUCKING NEST FROM THE 2 THREATS RIGHT THERE???
>raptors
die within 20 seconds of screen time while the camera is focused on the mexican pissing
>mutadons
they keep pausing to roar when they could have gotten a snack
fucking shameless the nostalgia baiting with the remade "kitchen scene(tm)"
>Drex
the pajeets completely fucked up the CGI scaling here, its hand literally envelops a fucking helicopter first and then it shrinks down to half its size

>>212331246
>this was so bizarre to watch that I want a webm of it
I would post one but I live in a 1st world country and am actually scared of the copyright-Jew these days since this site is so popular these days
I feel like I could get fucked really hard for posting 30 seconds of this movie

Saw it last night. What a complete disaster. People in front of me stood up and said 'That was a terrible movie'.

Scarlett Johansson is such a horrible actress. Her character is just a hollow shell. You can't name a single characteristic of her, not one.
The music is ASS. Action scene going on and for some reason there's a clarinet blowing 1940's music. The best scenes were those without any music.
Movie feels like it's directed by 3 different people. Before they reach the island, on the island during the day, and the last part during night. 3 completely different vibes.
Movie is just moving from one setpiece to the next.
Fuck ALL these characters. They're either extremely annoying, or just completely forgettable. Can't name half the family members, or even the bad guy.You also don't care about any of them.

D-rex goes from a gigantic 50 meters tall Kaiju in one scene, to just a big T-rex in the next. WHAT.
You can just replace the mutants with actual dinosaurs and it would be better off.
Someone calls the first dino a brachiosaurus on the news and it's obviously an Apatosaurus
Professor states the Titanosaurus is11 tons, and next you see it's as big as a skyscraper.

It's a B movie with 200 mil budget

>>212330756
the fuck lol just mount the syringe on a drone or some shit

>>212323249
The title and subtitles are cringe of the notch

He's a big guy

>>212323249
>Duchovny
What the fuck is he doing in some shit like this? He doesn't need the money.

>>212323932
snickers

>>212330995
no it's better than the dogshit that is dominion
but that is all i will give it

>>212323035 (OP)
was scar gaped by dinos?

>>212323035 (OP)
What was the last GOOD Jurassic movie?

>>212333785
3 or 4

>>212333785
3. Short and concise, had Allan Grant and Jimmy wasn't that bad. The parents were insufferable, the kid alright. Dinos were cool.

>>212323249
>Cliff Beats
What?

>>212323249
Is this ai?

>>212331477
> When the Titanosaurus hides in and appears out of a waist high grass field

No matter how bad it is, it can't be worse than Dominion surely?

>>212335043
this has the mosasaur and trex scenes Domnion doesn't

>>212323301
>if that poster is anything to go by
scarlett is never this big in the movie

>>212323249
>Duchovny
Holy shit he went full Rabbi didn't he?

why am i the only one who found dominion less horrible than JW 1 and 2? i was glad to see the original cast have real roles, since other new characters are complete shit

>>212335208
grant was a bumbling old man who was looking for the bathroom in that film
so in no way was it better than the other 2 just because the old cast was brought back to be ruined

>>212323113
>More OC shit over Cenozoic kino
They’re gonna have to cave in and start doing Ceno-Mammals eventually right? There’s no other reason to keep making these movies. Lore wise they already missed that chance cause no rational person will want to bring back the prehistoric mammals back knowing they’ll probably adapt better to the current environment than Dinosaurs could.

>>212323245
>"you don't get it, we needed to make the Superawesomeus Rex or we'd never get anyone to turn up to Jurassic Park!"
>"damn it, nobody's going to be stupid enough to pay money just to see a fucked-up t-rex!"
>actors slowly turn to look at the camera

>>212323035 (OP)
Did the D Rex have any cool mutant superpowers?

>>212335721
It sure did. One scene it was the size of Godzilla, the next it was the size of a T-rex

>>212333785
>What was the last GOOD Jurassic movie?
You'd all better start apologizing.

>>212333785
Jurassic Park

>>212335754
What a TWIST!

>>212323035 (OP)
Why was there no Dino Vs Dino fights? I was hyped because the leaks made it sound better than it was, the movie just kinda ends? I wanted JP3 spino Vs autism rex but it didn't happen

>>212323035 (OP)
They made the “gun” as stupid looking as possible to force engagement.

>>212330756
yeah that was particularly egregious in the titanosaur scene. She was literally 20 ft away from it, it took up her entire field of vision and she was still carefully aiming through a scope, it was hilarious

>want to make mutant dinosaurs
>wait 10 years
>finally do it
>make only 2 mutants, and they're a raptor and a T-Rex with lazy parts glued on
Also, it's been edited. You can tell it used to be way more woke and they cut it out and now it's just, shit happening with no real rhyme or reason. And their big plan is to open source the medication? The medication that doesn't exist because it hasn't been made FROM the blood they have? The blood that COULDN'T be synthesized so there's no way they can physically give enough material to anyone to try to make the medicine? Once again, the medicine THAT DOES NOT EXIST AND WHO'S BACKING RESEARCH THEY DONT HAVE ACCESS TO.

What a stupid movie. And why was the daughter such a huge fucking cunt? She didn't change or grow either she's just a huge entitled bitch the whole way through. The stoner retard got his act together but the bitch didn't. And what the hell was that subplot? Why was he piloting his family through dinosaur infested waters that even the government avoids? And his leg broke like 6 times and he just kept walking.

>>212330756
To be fair Cooper missed the Spino with his elephant gun and he’s a professional who can take care of himself.

>>212333785
Good? The original as none of the sequels are good.
But I’d argue 2-3-JW are at the very least fun dinosaur action flicks, all dumb in their own ways but deliver fun scenes of dinosaurs fucking shit up with just enough dumb/bad shit to keep the movies from being considered good but not enough to ruin them.
JW2 & 3 are mind boggling stupid and don’t provide any fun/memorable dinosaur action.

>>212336497
>Good? The original as none of the sequels are good.

Anyone who disagrees with this is a literal NPC retard

>>212323035 (OP)
See... I believe you... but worse than Fallen Kingdom? I'll believe it when I see it.

>>212337544
Objectively it is better than Fallen Kingdom and Dominion. It is however still nowhere near as good as JP1-3 or the first Jurassic World. With some tweaks it could have been great though, and that's the worst part about it. Its anti-climactic as hell, and overall contained no surprises or stakes. There are simultaneously too many characters and not enough because it leaves no room for anyone to die. If this movie had like 10-15 more random mercenary characters as part of the expedition for them to kill off, it would be on par with The Lost World.

>>212323035 (OP)
Why she so big?

>>212336215
The way this movie conveniently forgot between scenes about the dad's sprained/broken ankle was really egregious. One minute he can't walk, then he's running and swimming just fine, then in pain and can't walk again and needs help. This shit was a mess of reshoots and they couldn't bother to keep any of it consistent.

>>212323035 (OP)
>trailers and who plot details scarjo sending team to collect dinosaur dna. (jp2 rehash)
>whole movie is actually about babysitting some dumb mexican family (jp3 rehash)
They pulled the ol' grade A bait-switch. I'm sure nobody would've paid if they knew they were in for the retarded mexican family

>>212338060
Because it would be extremely painful

>>212335180
>scarlett is never this big in the movie
Then its shit. They should have injected her with the dna of the biggest dinosaurs at the end so she fights the D-rex

>>212338429
That would have been a more fun and exciting ending and use of that monster than we got.

>>212338462
Yeah, she could have fought it like King Kong

>>212338157
You can tell it was woke as fuck because it's a biden era movie. It's still obnoxious with the "subtle" woke allusions. This is what was leftover and it's a mess. Like how that elio movie, another biden era movie, got the faggotry ripped out and it's also a hollow choppy nonsense experience. The woke message is all the substance these piece of shit movies had

>>212323035 (OP)
I liked the part with the mosasaur and spinos

>>212323035 (OP)
Why was the CGI so bad? Actually seemed to regress compared to previous movies

This summer lineup was honestly the most boring it's been since I can remember. There's a veritable drought of good movied to pick from. JP was just the best out of the crap pile that was this summer blockbuster season.

>>212323136
same thing happened to The Accountant 2.
I just assume it's a message against Trump from leftists Hollywood.

>>212340033
Superman will probably be better

>>212340028
The CGI was a lot better than Dominion. Except for the little baby dinosaur the kid keeps as a pet, the CG on that was poor. The T-Rex in the river scene is probably the best looking CGI dinosaur they've ever made.

>>212340054
Wokerman is not going to be good.

>>212340033
That's weird, I feel like this is the best summer blockbuster season in many, many years. I've seen more movies in the theater in the past two months than I have in the previous 2-3 years combined.

>>212340093
What the fuck are you talking about? There's been NOTHING for months and months.

>>212340112
>Warfare
>Mission Imposible 8
>Karate Kid Legends
>How to Train Your Dragon live action
>F1
>Jurassic World Rebirth

Going to see Superman next week, and I might go see Rebirth and F1 again soon. Best summer of movies in a long time. I can't even remember the last summer there was more than one movie worth watching.

>>212323249
>even the subtitle has a subtitle
pretty based, honestly

>>212340206
>Going to see Superman next week,
Say no more. I see you have a complete lack of any taste at all. No wonder you're eating this slop up.

>>212340093
that's because you're an NPC and have no standards. I'm rich because of idiots like you lol

>>212340233
>>212340293
Absolutely seething.

>>212335188
Funny because his last name means Clergyman

>>212323249

>>212340033
Mission: Impossible and F1 are good. Superman probably will be too. I wouldn't expect so much from the Jurassic series; fucking Youtubers do a far better job with their analog vids.

>>212340366
alcohol is a hell of a drug

>>212340366
He looks like a proper Boris at this point. The Eastern European genes hitting hard.

>>212340738
>>212340400
You know that poster is shooped to shit, right? His skin is nowhere near that weirdly smooth

>>212340206
Dude. That's exactly what I mean. NOTHING. It's all shit. Woke trash. Bad films in general.

>>212340372
>Superman probably will be too
Where is this confidence coming from? It looks like it's going to bomb hard. Everything I see about it is just worse and worse and worse

>>212341085
>it's going to bomb because... I personally dislike capeshit

>>212340785
I wrote that because of the extra bloated look

>>212341035
F1, 28 Days and Warfare are not woke.

I gotta say they missed an opportunity to put product placement on the fucking rubber raft that survived a t-rex attack

>>212341106
I don't dislike it. It looks like pure shit. It's also why I didn't watch nigger heart and won't be watching fantastic four. It all looks abysmal and full of faggot garbage

>>212341185
I can't remember which way 28 swings. I've heard the franchise is woke and anti-White as a whole.

>>212323035 (OP)
So her career is as good as dead now right?

>>212330157
WTF IS THIS REAL?!!1

>>212341356
We’ll be seeing her in mobile game ads soon enough

>>212330974
I wanted to watch it in 4dx but its so fucking expensive that I figured it just isn't worth it

>>212333785
World is fine btw

>>212341356
She's a Jewish woman, they will never stop forcing her on us even though she's well past her prime.

>>212341563
I'd still fuck her. Also she's a mischling so it's slightly more tolerable.

>>212323113
The writers are creatively bankrupt. They also miss the whole point of the original, it wasn't interesting just because big cgi dinosaurs on screen. It was interesting because of the ethical and financial implications of bringing back these creatures. Its why even the spielberg sequel was a failure, it said nothing.

>>212323113
Power creep. Once that can of worms was opened they couldn't go back, they had to keep escalating the concept.

Dogshit film. I was amazed at the amount of egregious product placement. I couldn't care less about latino families. Not excited to have those in every hollywood film now.

>business guy bad because he stopped the distress call
It’s like they didn’t already establish that what they’re doing is extremely illegal

>>212342101
David Koepp wrote the original and Rebirth lmao

When I saw the nigger, I knew right away he had a dead kid. In the last few movies I've watched, there's been a nigger with a dead kid. I think it's supposed to imply they're good fathers, which they're not, and they get around the responsibility by having the kid be dead. The second I saw the sad look in his eye I knew he had a dead kid and then it was immediately confirmed. Woke trash

>>212332086
>>212332158
>>212334606
>>212335188
>>212340230
Actual stupidest board on the entire website

>>212342647
No, Michael Crichton wrote the original. Some kike adapting the book doesn't make it his work. That same kike made all the worst movies of everything else too, like the crystal skull and the new indian jones one where he gets erased from history and a black woman takes over as the one and only indiana jones. I had no idea this faggot wrote this movie. If I knew, i would've gone in expecting trash

I liked it.

>>212340206
>warfare
haven't seen it or heard anyone talking about it
>MI8
same
>Karate Kid Legends
Same but even I hadn't even heard of this until you posted this
>HTTYD Live
lol, lmao even
>F1
Haven't heard much about it and I think the marketing team fucked up here because the little I have seen on this board implies it's actually good
>Rebirth
lol, lmao even

>So, Jay, what did you think of the new Jurassic World?
>I hated it.
>Really? I loved it, it was the best movie of the year.
>Well... I didn't hate it...

I saw Fallen Kingdom in theaters and peaced out on this franchise for the rest of eternity because of it. If you haven't learned your lesson by NOW well then anon, I...

>>212323035 (OP)
looks like ScarJo's fatass is playing a banjo haha

how did the colored guy escape the mutant dino at the end?

>>212342883
Warfare is supremely boring. It's just bad.

Karate kid is the worst shit. It's a teen drama with a chink and a nigger. The chink is already a karate kid and gets in trouble with a WHITE GANG MEMBER because he was talking with a nigger girl and like in all these movies, the bitch seems interested in him and wants to be with him but is with the bully and stays with the bully despite being so obviously repulsed by him. Anyway, his mom tells him not to fight but he has to fight so she's like okay let's call Jackie Chan to teach you and then Ralph macchiato or whatever his name is joins forces with Jackie Chan to train the chink who's already a karate kid from a karate dojo and then he wins the heart of the nigger. Half the movie is in Japanese and Chinese

>>212342806
The actual answer is "David Koepp is a different person at age 62 than he was at 30 and his writing skill has changed" but you decided to be an unreasonable tard. The movie is better than the novel because it scales back Critchon's "scientists are evil and dinosaurs are murder monsters sent by god" bullshit to a degree that there's at least room for interpretation. That's because it was Spielberg's interpretation of the material and Critchon and Koepp wrote the screenplay through that lens.

Spielberg also soft-directed Rebirth as per his own description of his role as exec producer. Again, people change. The Critchon that wrote Westworld is different than the one who wrote 13th Warrior

>>212331246
The entire plot is really dumb.

>we need samples of the biggest dinosaurs blood to make super effective heart medication because they got big hearts.

Why did they specifically need 3? Why did those 3 specifically have to be from a water based dino, land based dino, and an air based dino? That just sounds like a lame ass video game checklist.

Also, does Ingen not have these samples? Do they not have the data on what the dinos are made of? Seems a money hungry corporation that specializes in genetic engineering would keep some records on that and would have had the same idea to make heaps of cash off the medical implementations of their genetic research.

>>212343022
Warfare is a real time portrayal of a mission gone FUBAR and I enjoyed it for that. Not every movie needs to hit conventional beats. I would like more experimental pieces.

IT'S UP.
https://youtu.be/URONv9NZ1Jo?si=l1v0yAsdZjmW861_

>>212343028
>unreasonable tard
For hating kikes? Fuck you faggot. The book is better. The kikes fucked up the story completely

Which will you Rebirth? The tits, the dyke, the jailbait, or the loli?

>>212343203
You started out championing the original movie and then pivoted to "um actually the book is the best because kikes didn't write it, i don't even like the movie" just because I pointed out Koepp wrote the latest movie and the original. I don't think you've actually read a Critchon novel in your life and you're just trying to win an argument by being edgy and annoying.

Why the fuck are people shocked about this? Are you all low IQ pajeets? They fast tracked another JP movie after the last trilogy ended, the plot was what we saw a million times since the first movie and they were advertising like post wall Scarjo was going to be a big draw and big action movie. From day 1 you could see this was soulless rushed cash grab shit but many of you unironically thought it could be good. Am I the last white person on this site?

>>212333785
1

Scarlett boob status?

>>212330995
>It’s mind-boggling how Universal can keep fucking up such a simple formula movie
No retard. The issue is they keep remaking JP 1 over and over and over. The issue is that the formula is dead. Beaten to the ground. They have brought almost nothing new to the table.

>>212323301
>>212335180
Would much rather watch a giant Scarlett johanesson on dinosaur island

Do the people or the dinos themselves have laser guns yet?

>>212333785
4 but they should have stopped there. 4 was an ok nostalgia bait movie and didn't need sequels

How big does Scar Jo look in the film?

>this is the 7th movie where dinosaurs run amok on a tropical island
i hate you all for continuing to keep this trash franchise alive

Why do the Dinosaurs STILL not look like giant chickens!?!

>>212323245
>so they struck the genius idea of creating new dinosaurs to entice the public
Even though every time they do that people get eaten by them.

That would be like Disneyland opening bigger and more dangerous rollercoasters and people horrifically dying on them day one of the grand opening every single time they do. How 'enticing' for the public.

>>212343598
They haven't gotten a cent from me since the original world.

>>212343598
>i hate you all for continuing to keep this trash franchise alive
I know right? When they announced the plot is "We have to return to the island to retrieve the MacGuffin" there were actual retards, probably brown saying this will make a billion dollars

>>212341356
She's on SNL alot nowadays

>>212340206
>Warfare
poo poo
>Mission Imposible
poo poo
>Karate Kid Legends
poo poo
>How to Train Your Dragon live action
poo poo
>F1
poo poo
>Jurassic World Rebirth
poo poo
GRIM

She's spec ops. She does retrieval and extractions.

>>212343771
Dominion gross over 1bil, this will too. In a just world they wouldn't, but we live in clown world.

>>212343849
I predict decent opening weekend but next well it will crash

>>212340366
thought that was Alex Jones for a second

>>212323035 (OP)
it was ok. but goddamn i couldn't stop salivating at mommyfu scarjo, she's perfect to me.
i saw the phoenician scheme right after.

Its impossible that this is worse than JW 2 and 3

Those were both bad and not even entertaining

>>212343398
What the FUCK are you talking about? I didn't say one single fucking thing about the first movie. I said that retard didn't write the original, he adapted it

>>212333785
2, it's still a very fun movie with some great dinosaur scenes, amazing score and great visuals.Has it's flaws ofc but it still has more good than bad.

>>212344267

>>212343848
Not one single fucker did what they were purported to do. Not one. She didn't even do anything she was supposed to be an expert at. They should've gotten a sharpshooter if the point was sniping dinosaurs.

Also, the FAGGOT said it was a sin to kill a dinosaur and had nothing to say when scarlet shot one 50 times in the face

>>212344327
That's not me you absolute fucking retard. More than one person exists. I'm the one aggressively calling people niggers and faggots and kikes. That guy is someone else

>>212344382
yeah except you fucking responded to me responding to that post. Either way you seem retarded

>>212323113
Anyone can make a T-Rex Toy or a Triceratops Toy

>>212344444
Anyone can chime in at any time. Are you new?

>>212341495
>World is fine btw
No

>>212323035 (OP)
>Destroys your billon dollar dinosaur research island
How do you respond with out sounding mad?

>>212331246
so the creature grows like shin godzilla? because left looks twice as big as right.

>>212323035 (OP)
I haven't watched any of the new ones other than Jurassic World. I was bored today so I watched a review of this one. This was the best comment I found.

>>212342994
>>212342994
>how did the colored guy escape the mutant dino at the end
There was supposed to be a fight between the mutant and the Spinosaurus pack. That's why they had him lure it into the water. This was cut or unfilmed.

Alternatively he was supposed to get killed by the mutant so it would have been a big emotional sacrifice scene. This was filmed and cut because test audiences like him.

So thats why he just abruptly pops up later with no resolution to how he survived.

>>212343598
Anons aren’t the ones keeping this franchise alive. Normalfag Americans, Chinese, and Indians are.

>>212345553
What a shitshow of a film.

>>212323035 (OP)
God damn this poster looks bad. The T-Rex looks like it was dragged and dropped in 2 seconds.
What is that Aztec shit on the cliff? Was this made by AI?

>>212323035 (OP)
>We have to milk the Indian and international coomer audience.

>>212345443
No, it shrunk from left to right within the span of 2 minutes

>>212333785
4 was okay.

>>212333785
Rebirth

>>212323035 (OP)
I've just realised the raptors were only in this movie for 10 seconds, lmao.

>>212343352
i liked the french dyke, her death was pretty cruel

>>212345553

Of all the horribly bad things this movie did, this scene was the worst.

>giant bloodthirsty mutant monster 2 meters away from a guy holding a flame, backed up against a river bank with nowhere to go
>see flare go out from a distance
>guy is obviously dead since there was nowhere to escape and the dick head rex was within arms reach

2 minutes later and he pops up waving another flame. It's Jurassic Park, so I suspend my believe for most of the incredibly dumb shit they do throughout the movie, but this was just absolute horseshit. How can writers for a 100m+ production fuck up this bad? There wasn't even a quick shot of d-head being distracted by something.

>>212345553
Unironically it would turn into a 10/10 movie if he led it into the water and the spino pack appeared with this chad leading them and John cenas theme playing

>>212345553
I thought it felt like the movie abruptly ends, guess it makes sense if there was a fight scene missing. The ending was massively lackluster.

>>212342790
Saaar I make ai and it look realest to be true. I ceo now

>>212344345
The fucking pharma exec and museum curator were as involved/capable in the action as the mercs. Why even give them a background

>>212323035 (OP)
What did you expect from the guy that made this?

>>212331246
dinosaurs in these movies always roar at prey for no reason instead of just attacking. It's supposed to be a dominance thing they do at rivals or species that could threaten them. but since they're movie monsters they have to roar every time they're on screen.

Michael Crichton must be spinning in his grave... There is a reason why he had the island firebombed in the book.

>>212323035 (OP)
this ugly jewhag needs to retire.

>>212345553
>There was supposed to be a fight between the mutant and the Spinosaurus pack
they spent all that money and cut filming what wouldve been a banger of a scene? makes no sense.

>>212351411
nah. he liked money enough to bring back Malcolm in the Lost World book.

>>212351411
>Jurassic Park ends with Ian Malcolm and John Hammond dying, and the entire island being destroyed
>becomes his best selling book ever by a comical margin
>publisher convinces him to write a sequel
>lol actually Ian Malcolm lived and there's a secret 2nd island
this is exactly what he'd want as long as they kept paying him

>>212327091
I always felt that way too. The Indominus is just a trex with camoflage. So just take Carcharadontosaurus and say it has camouflage.

>>212323035 (OP)
this is the summer that kills hollywood dead
we had a little bit of hope that year Top Gun came out but nope.

>>212331246
Yeah. The dinos were so incompetent it doesn't make sense how they hunted anything at all. The Trex had a whole family in the open and couldn't get a single one as they were in a shallow stream. So how does it catch anything ever?

>Film starts with a Mosasaur and spinos fucking every boat that comes near the island, even a military-style cruiser
>Ends with them escaping the island in a tiny little fishing boat

>>212330995
haven't seen it and don't plan to but what I find absurd is that it would be so fucking easy to come up with a scenario more intriguing than that. a literal child playing with dino toys could (and probably has) do a better job. who the fuck greenlit this scenario?

>>212345553
I need answers. Why was the epic monster battle cut? Stupid decision. Why didn’t the test audiences demand they film a final battle?????

>>212343352
I haven't seen any of the trailers nor the movie, just a couple posters, what the fuck are these characters lmao

>>212352133
>>212331246
fuck it I'm posting the webm of the Trex scene but I'm gonna delete it, not interested in getting raped anally by Universal considering how popular 4chan is these days
such a retarded scene
the T-Rex could literally just pick them out of the raft at the start but instead he tips it over
even then he could just pick them up afterwards but he turns around and walks away to patiently wait for them ahead fucking hell

>>212352037
top gun maverick felt like a downright religious experience the way it reminded me what movies could've been like if hollywood had managed to successfully take the soul of 80s cinema and marry it to modern production capabilities. Instead even it feels far away. I genuinely can't remember the last decent film I saw in theatres, I haven't been to see anything this year except a complete unknown (which wasn't bad, but has essentially nothing to say).

They should make one where some of the dinos get stuck in the darien gap and people are trying to cross to get to the US and run into the dinos.

>>212352851
Idk. It was in the leaks from 7 months ago. And those leaks were pretty spot on about everything else in the movie, but the final fight is just missing.

>>212323035 (OP)
Can any anon here give me the plot?

>>212353079
holy shit this is worse than what I expected anon
there's "bad" in the sense of maybe having shitty themes and dialogue, a weak plot, bad acting, whatever. then there's "bad" in the sense of looking cheap, looking like a straight up mistake. how could someone look at this scene and greenlight it? was the production of this movie some kind of disaster behind the scenes or something?

>>212353187
nigga read wikipedia
In 2010, nine years after the rescue of Eric Kirby[b], and five years before the Jurassic World incident,[c] a laboratory is used on the island of Ile Saint-Hubert in the Atlantic Ocean, to create transgenetic mutated dinosaurs. One of these creations, a deformed six-limbed tyrannosaur dubbed "Distortus rex" escapes containment and wreaks havoc, forcing the facility personnel to abandon the island. Seventeen years later, and five years after the Biosyn incident that caused the transgenic locust outbreak by Lewis Dodgson,[d] the Earth's climate is inhospitable to sustain the dinosaurs. They are forced to reside in areas around the equator, which resembles the Mesozoic climate and which have been marked as no-travel zones.

Martin Krebs, an executive at pharmaceutical company ParkerGenix, recruits Zora Bennett, a former ex-military covert operative, to collaborate with paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis on a top-secret mission to retrieve biomaterial samples from the largest prehistoric specimens, which hold the key to a new heart disease treatment. In a bar in Suriname, Zora recruits her longtime friend Duncan Kincaid to lead the expedition. He brings boat driver LeClerc, mercenary Nina, and the security chief Bobby Atwater.
cont.

It's a sequel called "Rebirth". how good did you actually think it was going to be?
fucking tards. there's only one good JP movie and they get worse in order

>>212353428

They set out to Ile Saint-Hubert to extract samples from the aquatic Mosasaurus, terrestrial Titanosaurus, and aviary Quetzalcoatlus. They track the Mosasaur, which has shipwrecked a family sailing around the island: Reuben Delgado, his daughters Teresa and Isabella, and Teresa's boyfriend Xavier. They rescue the family and Zora successfully extracts a sample from the Mosasaur. However, it returns with a group of Spinosaurus and attacks the ship, killing Bobby and Nina. Martin prevents Teresa from radioing for help to protect the mission's secrecy, then refuses to help her when she and the Delgados fall overboard. The mosasaur forces the ship aground, stranding the team on the island. Zora informs them that she employed a rescue helicopter to circle the island in 24 hours.

The team successfully extracts the second sample from a Titanosaurus and the third and final sample from a Quetzalcoatlus nest, although LeClerc is killed. Meanwhile, the Delgados are stranded elsewhere and search for settlements. They encounter various dinosaurs including an Aquilops, whom Isabella adopts and names Dolores, and a Tyrannosaurus rex, which chases the Delgados down a river.

The two groups reunite at the abandoned laboratory for helicopter extraction, but are attacked by a pack of mutated raptor/pterosaur hybrids, dubbed "Mutadons". Martin steals the samples from Zora and attempts to flee to the helipad. The helicopter arrives as Henry lights a flare but is destroyed by the Distortus rex, which later devours Martin. The survivors manage to find a boat connected to the facility via an underground runway. Duncan diverts the D. rex using a flare and later reunites with the group as they escape. With the samples in hand, Zora and Henry agree to distribute the new medication without a patent, making it open-source for the entire planet.

>>212353079
>a t-rex is somehow unable to do any damage to this shitty rubber raft

the entire movie has continuity problems regarding scale

>>212323249
>David Duchovny
>Karen Gillian
Unironically better cast than JW

>>212353489
the T-Rex is known for having one of the weakest bite forces out there

>>212335208
it was very bloated with the casting and just kept adding more characters. When they tried to hide behind the turned over car that was just laughable someone should have saw that and said change something
>original cast have real roles
Grant sure he was more involved than just wandering around dr. evils cloning lab but malcom being there was stupid the sub plot about grant and ellie getting together was also stupid, but I guess if you enjoyed it than you must be the same kind of person that holds a grudge against the Spinosaurus for beating the trex in 3

>>212354059
the best part is the shot the t rex's teeth pushing on the raft and somehow not puncturing

>>212354059
Without the context of him thinking the daughter is under there it just looks like he's super sad about the dinosaur wrecking his raft kek

at least we got this scene out of it
even though the flying part at the end looks weird

>>212354059
They were way too blatant with the hispanic pandering. Most of the movie focuses on this stupid family, nothing bad happens to any of them and it has nothing to do with the actual plot.

>>212354218
can you please make a webm of scientist guy
falling 200 ft into knee deep water and living?

>>212353462
>Need the blood of huge dinosaurs to make super meds
>When genetic engineering is so commonplace and cheap, they know how to edit out illnesses and make perfect clones of people
Man, this plot is stupid as hell.

total deaths
Lab guy - Drex
Merc - Spino
Merc - beach Spino
black Merc - Pteranodon
helicopter - Drex
evil pharma dude - Drex

very disappointing

>>212354305
when does that happen?

Is there a torrent out yet?

>>212354397
right after getting the egg sample from the quetzal nest he hangs on to a ledge and just falls into the jungle

>>212354456

>>212353187
they need blood samples from big ass dinosaurs to make medicine and get rich and dinosaurs mostly just hang out at the equator now so we're back to square one

>>212354602
kek thank you very much anon

>>212354757
>Error: You cannot delete posts this often.
I'm fucked

>>212354602
I mean, the trees did slow him down. He should still be a little more beat up though.

>>212354781
someone else ITT already mentioned how the mexican dad broke his leg like 6 times but just kept walking fine afterwards every time
made me lol when I realized it's true

>>212354842
There's Mexicans in the movie?

>>212323035 (OP)
how can you fuck up a movie about dinosaurs? I don't get it. So many possibilities, you could just make The Ghost and the Darkness with dinos. Do they hate money?

>>212355344
As with most things that suck, too many cooks in the kitchen trying to appeal to too many different pallets. All great movies have a director and one writer, or one guy doing both. Creative freedom, no studio interference. The fifteen nepo-jews getting producer credits should have no say in the creative aspects.

guys I think I just found a dinosaur on google maps
12°28'43.4"S 132°59'33.4"E

Does anyone know what type of rugsack the museum scientist had? looked neat

>>212354602
Lmao this is some looney tunes shit

I can think of 4 good reasons I'm not going to see this shit

>>212354778
oh nigga they gon get you

>>212353187

>Can any anon here give me the plot?
>the plot to JW:Rebirth

>>212356195
there's no way this isn't edited
is this real

>>212353744
She died in the most weird way possible, but was hoping she would survive, but all the side henchman got pretty much killed off and was expected. Funny how the first guy killed just started shooting at the dinosaurs even though they weren't doing anything and basically got himself killed.

>>212355986
check this out
it's almost 20meters/60feet in length
so it can't be a fallen tree, they don't grow that tall and thick in this part of Australia, I included a pic of trees in that area
what could this be?

>>212356642
It's a rock formation.

>>212355986
>>212356642
extremely 2011pilled

>>212356692
you can search that entire area and won't find any rock in that color

>>212346034
This

Only biological trash would ever watch any of this

>>212323035 (OP)
Is that the actual poster, with a giant scarlet?

>>212354602
thx for the webm. that was one of the many scenes that made audibly sigh and facepalm.

"serious actor" scarjo thought this was the one

This movie is going to have a huge second weekend drop off. Befitting solely on coming out 4th of July weekend. 67% drop or higher guaranteed

Wasnt previous one a huge flop? Why do they keep making them?

>>212323035 (OP)
I can't believe you paid to see that, anon.

>>212323113
It also looks exactly like the rancor from star wars. Movie making has become so unbelievably lazy it’d be better just to have AI design the monsters.

>>212357796
She's a fan of the franchise and just wanted to be a part of it. Probably wanted Bryce's role from the previous trilogy. I don't think the quality of the script factored into her decision.

>>212333785
The one that came out 30 years ago, cinema has kept going downhill since.

I guess I disagree with OP.
I honestly thought it was the second best one.
Now that being said, the original is still the only great film.

>>212357973
>Wasnt previous one a huge flop?
It made decent money

>>212352851
Spinos weren't in enough of the film.
Literally under 30 seconds worth.

>>212356286
I was expecting that dude to live a little longer. He was in Deadpool, Game of Thrones. He was the first to go lol

remind me why these mexicans are in the movie?

>>212360712
That has Universal execs hands all over screaming "it must have something for the family"

>>212360712
they honestly weren't a problem imo

>>212323113
Im dissapoint they were hybrids and not just earlier attempts at gene splicing/cloning process mutants.

>>212360857
>>212361100

>50% of the film
>literaly zero sense at all for why he was on a boat in the first place
>pointless "cute" dino baby shows up which is probably going to be in mcdonalds happy meals and plushie toys within a few weeks
>at no point do we get any reason to care except for them being mexican for mexicans watching or sympathetic blue fags who also buy into the global warming/whiteman bad overarching plot point

THE DINOSAURS ARE SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT BOARDER CONTROL

>>212323815
Im still waiting for my film adaption of the Chaos Effect toy line.

>this action cgi summer blockbuster movie about genetically modified dinosaurs was bad because well uhhhmmm... there wasnt enough human drama i couldnt connect to any of the heckin characters it wasnt like my A24 dramas at all okay so this dinosaur fantasy action movie is totally bad okay???

>>212361672

you clearly havent watched it, the entire fuckign movie is the Jew Goldblum hamfisted political monologe from the last movie, but now its every single piece of dialoge

>>212361717
its the best of the World films

>>212361776

>1776
>thats the least smelliest of these piles of shit

it doesnt have cute girl, so its not, that first movie with cute girl is 1st, then the rest in order

this is slightly better than the last shit, but thats not saying much

>>212361894
fag simp

>>212333785
The first one, genuinely. 3 and World are fun monster movies but not good movies inherently.

>>212323035 (OP)
Jurassic World 3 was the pinnacle of worthless Hollywood slop but a lot of normies still enjoyed it. So I can only imagine how bad this movie is that even the normies find it lame.

>>212354218
Time to goon!

>>212333785
The Lost World

>>212362104
normies like it tho

>>212362104
This movie felt like JP3 2.

>>212362220
i keep forgetting that Crichton is a giant

>>212362104
The Spinosaurus in 3 was cool and threatening, this movie has chubby manlet spinos and a fugly mutant, that's why it fails

>>212362669
Saw it with a group, everyone agreed the D rex was ugly as fuck and a mistake, one girl straight up called it retarded
Normies want to seel cool looking dinos eating people

WHERE IS THE CAMRIP

>>212361306
The Dad was very clearly a hispanic Maga conservative insert.

WE LOVE THE STIGGYMOLOCH!

>>212352000
>publisher
It was Spielberg, who could only get Jeff Goldblum on board for a sequel, that told Crichton either they were gonna do it with or without him.

>>212362310
Please don't insult JP3 like that.

>>212363765
JP3, at its worst, is dumber than Dominion.

I liked it. Every dino got a scene, the velociraptors aren't over relied on for once, and the setpieces were well done.
>But the dialogue!
>The plot!
If I get that from a big summer blockbuster I'm pleasantly surprised, but I don't expect it. Fun movie.

>>212363960
There is nothing in JP3 worse than a Mary Sue giving birth to herself or a fat woman outrunning raptors on foot. Get real.

>>212364164

>LOOK A DINOSAUR!

thats you, (pointing at the bright shiny thing) the wide vaccuous blackness, is the plot

>>212340366
he looks like a Polack plumber

>>212364417
>LOOK A DINOSAUR
>IN THE FUCKING DINOSAUR MOVIE
Yeah. Why else do you see a dinosaur movie?

>>212323249

wait is this movie legit? or was it s a parody poster?

it looks kino

>>212332127
looks like a common enemy in some jap ps2 game

>>212353079
>how popular 4chan is these days
..you keep sayting that as if 4chan is in some kind of popularity spike

i came here to see scarjo's big fake bouncy tits
post em you homos

how will these creatively-bankrupt yids keep making more dinoslop?
my predictions:
>zombie dinos (tee hee, what if t-rex but its a zombie?!)
>time travel
>dinos in robosuits
>human characters in mech-suits to protect them from the dinos
>wot if the lead is a BLACK GUY and like the whole story is about freeing slaves but the slaves are dinosaurs??
>instead of mutant dinos, it's Ai-designed dino clones

>>212361672
Frogposters are always retarded. Why?

>>212364954
>I want another man to make me horny and I want to get horny around a bunch of guys!
Who's the homo?

>>212365085
I haven't seen the new one, did they do human dino hybrids yet? Like the original idea for JP3?

>>212364417
see >>212361672

>>212365165
The D Rex gets the opening scene and one scene at the end. Every dinosaur gets one setpiece and no more. The velociraptors show up for a grand total of 10 seconds then did. It's similar to Godzilla King of the Monsters in that the movie isn't "good" and all the humans are cardboard, but the actual kaiju/dinosaurs deliver.

>>212365128
>nooooo this heckin dinosaur movie about genetically modified dinosaurs needs to be le ebin slow pace drama about trauma or whatever makes me relate to other people i just simply cannot care for another human life unless im being told to nooooooooooo you cant just have big action dinosaur cgi setpieces in the dinosaur movie aaaaaaaaghghghghghghghghgh

>>212358878
I kind of liked it for that reason. It was a joyride. None of the dinosaurs save Dora's pet Boots got more than a scene. We went from mosasaurus, to spinos, to raptors getting dunked on, to Rex, to titanwhatever, big bird, little raptor beds and finally D Rex, with other cameos throughout. No reused dinos.

>>212362220
>7ft tall
>genious IQ
>M.D. from Harvard that he got for laughs and never used
>adopted genuine scientific research, such as gene manipulation through species inter-breeding, into most of his sci-fi instead of autistic headcanon that most authors just pull out of their asses like magic wands
>top 3 most successfull writers of all time
has there ever been a more CHAD writer?

>>212334021
Bea6ts.

>>212323245
So like the final boss of the 1st Jurassic World?

>>212367481
it was the failed attempt at trying to create the indominous rex

>>212323035 (OP)
It was unironically fine. I prefer how much slower the pacing was. Dominion had way too many stories crammed in and so much going on. Rebirth had more room to breathe. The only issue I had was how Fallen Kingdom set up the whole dinosaurs everywhere in the world thing, and they literally did nothing with it in Dominion and in Rebirth theyve retconned it up saying they all died because of the weather and moved to a few islands in the equator. Wtf happened to life finds a way? lmao

>>212333785
Literally 1.
A garbage "franchise" that literally only exists for kikes to keep miking money from.
Like everything else.

>>212345499
Kek

>>212323035 (OP)
I love Drex

>>212367778
Why does that Dino have down syndrome

>>212367916
She doesn't, she's just jewish.

>>212367916
its a genetic failure like a pug.

>>212367778
Women love dildosaurus

>>212323035 (OP)
I think they've always been targeted at women, my wife loves them. I never really cared for dinosaurs as a kid.

>>212323245
>I found the in-universe explanation hilariously on point:
It's not on-point though, which makes it a false assumption. And the IP faggots in charge keep repeating the same mistake. This movie would've been better if it just stuck to its initial premise and made a survivor movie without the downie dinos included.