Thread 212391880

Our thoughts, dinobros?

>>212391880 (OP)
Cringe.
All the dinosaur parts were cool, all the human parts were shit.
ScarJo was horrible and wooden. Pointless BUT WHAT IF WE MAKE IT OPEN SOURCE pandering. The D Rex was a crime against cinema

>>212391880 (OP)

literally every word of this from this point

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_w26L8oNRw&t=744

>>212391937
>The D Rex was a crime against cinema
I'm sure Bella Ramsey did the best she could

>>212391880 (OP)
my thoughts are that i think one day it will be revealed this movie was made by AI

>>212391880 (OP)
i cant find a camrip

>>212391880 (OP)
Kino, jewtubers and supershiiters are the only ones that hated it.

>>212392204
>wannabe critic crying about lack of compelling human drama in an action summer blockbuster about CGI dinosaurs
>i simply cannot care about another humans life unless they give me a sad backstory or something
lmaoing @ these niggas. if you wanna cry go watch some boring a24 drama

>>212391937
>ScarJo was horrible and wooden
Im glad people know ghost in the shell is her best now.

>>212392391

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0avvmCAF80&t=625

>>212392391
Redditlettermedia and its consequences.

>>212392419
I couldn't tell if they wanted pedo pascal or gerald butler

>>212392554

that entire family is mexican B ripoffs, the little girl was literally Moner 2.0

>>212392609
She's walled hard. She's got a mom body now.

>>212392319
>>212392391
this, its good

Just finished watching. Felt like there was supposed to be more.

>>212392288
just watched it in theaters, dont bother. this movie is a complete waste of time.

>>212392827
She looks exactly the same as she always had just with a slick back and fake tits now.

>>212391880 (OP)
DINO BOTTOM JEANS
BOOBS WITH THE BOUNCE

>>212391880 (OP)
How do you fuck this up that badly?

>>212395648
be gareth edwards

>>212392391
>cannot care about another humans life
Me IRL
If you want me to care about your character give her fur, a tail and cute ears for scritching

>>212391880 (OP)
It was alright, definitely pretty dumb but not as dumb as any of the other jw movies. Did pretty much what people really want from a jurassic park sequel with being people surviving on an island and dino action.
Though would have rather followed more on the mercy than the family, the family were pretty much the main characters

I feel that the stuff like the drex was only put in as an executive mandate to push their dino hybrid boner, and they pretty much complied to by making such a dumb dino and giving it just enough scenes to work into a trailer

>>212395648
>what is perspective

>>212396992
nigga he grew 5 times in size for the helicopter bit

desu I'm just happy that kids still love dinosaurs. Maybe things aren't so bad after all.

>>212396992
lmao retard
I bet you're a fan of Godzilla 1998 too

>>212391880 (OP)
It was pretty bad, probably the second-worst after Dominion. Mercs were forgettable and the family was super annoying. Zero real stakes because so many characters had insane plot armor:

>little girl survives because T-Rex's teeth can't penetrate an inflatable raft
>scientist guy falls hundreds of feet but is fine because he hit some trees on the way down and fell in shallow water
>Mahershala makes it...just because

It bummed me out that David Koepp wrote this, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was on a short studio leash.

>>212396656
Edwards is kino

>>212396992
What perspective?

>>212397895
>probably the second-worst after Dominion
It's a lot better than Fallen Kingdom where the movie turned into a haunted house but dinosaurs movie for the second half where apparently, the biggest most scariest and most dangerous dinosaurs fit into small children bedrooms while Chris Pratt pulls out his shotgun.

>>212397983
his inability to keep his monsters a consistent size piss me off

>>212398209
see >>212398208
thats consistent for the whole JW franchise

>>212398266
the fuck are you on about?
the indoraptor was consistent in it's size

>>212398333
oh no no no

>>212398414
Now this is unironically perspective.
I fucking hated the indoraptor, but I didnt notice any scaling issues with it.

>>212391880 (OP)
JP1 > JW1 > JP2 > Rebirth > JP3 > JW3 > JW2

>>212398266
>>212398208
>>212398414

How did the T-Rex squeeze herself into the skeleton room in Jurassic Park?

>>212398414
yeah it is consistently taller than the humans on all 4s and substantially taller on it's hind legs
and you were comparing the it's size when next to a child and then an adult

>>212391880 (OP)
IDK, Im waiting for a high quality rip to come out to I can view it in my own home with my penis in my hand like God intended for man to interact with the dinosaur

>>212398545
The Visitor Center was still under construction.

>>212391880 (OP)
Might as well called it JP3 2.

Also wasnt this supposed to be R-rated? Why did they pussy out with the PG-13 rating

>>212396992
Stop using words you don't understand.

>>212392419
>not a single good loli shot
you have one job

>>212398755
>Also wasnt this supposed to be R-rated
Nope

>>212398209
They always are thoughbeit.

>>212396992
Its literally from the same perspective tho

>>212395648
The simplest canonical explanation (still retarded damage control) is that there are two drexes and one is smaller than the other. It would also explain why it teleports to the fucking docks before a car that left before it could drive there

I went to the the cinema and kicked myself for watching average fare
It's the same story. They have a plan, it's gets fucked up, there's a bad guy who gets his comeuppance, theres kids in danger, people get killed, main characters survive.
I think they realised they couldn't use raptors anymore for the trapped ina room scene so they used those winged things.
It's literally a remake in any other name. And open sourcing the DNA didn't make any sense.
It needs a radically new story.

>>212399004
one moment a building dwarfs him when it falls on him the next he towers above all of them
the golden gate bridge scene and then him in the city are massively different sizes
but yeah sure always consistent bro

>>212399215
>he towers above all of them
this never happened

>>212399215
>the golden gate bridge scene
half his body is underwater

>>212391880 (OP)
Pretty good, better than the previous films.Surpassed only by the first trilogy.

>>212399445
>ifunny

>>212399483
used it on purpose

>>212399445
He's standing near the shore. Not where the water is 300+ feet deep.

>>212400008
the middle of the bridge

>>212400249
If that is the middle, then he is standing where they put the pylon, which is not 300 feet down.

>>212400249
>>212400299
>The water depth under the Golden Gate Bridge varies significantly, with the deepest point reaching approximately 372 feet (113 meters). The average depth is around 300 feet (91 meters). The shallowest areas, near the bridge's piers, are about 40 feet (12 meters) deep.
>40 feet

>>212391880 (OP)
Best JP movie since 3. But that just means the World trilogy was all dogshit with Dominion being the worst of the three.

>>212398209
Why? Every monster movie does that and if your brain is focused on inches and perspective and consistency instead of the action, well consider watching those youtube videos about celebrity apartments

>>212400517
>Why?
autism

>>212400517
>going from building size to human size is completely normal and doesnt break your sense of immersion at all okay!!!

>>212400356
Who gives a shit about this stuff. Fuck are you all guys civil engineers?

>>212400517
it looks stupid when a helicopter can fit in it's hand then 2 minutes later a human in it's hand looks almost the same as the helicopter

>>212400565
I only care about cool dino designs and some thrillin’ time. Next time I’ll bring the protractor to the theatre

>>212400648
>cool dino designs
only the T-rex and the mosasaur looked good in this film
the rest looked like dogshit or had 5 seconds of screentime

>>212392827
>mom body

gimme the r34 NAO!

>>212400648
>Retarded d-rex design
>Scale off in every scene
So the worst of both worlds? Lmao

>>212400634
Writers, directors, whatever could not care less about this stuff, they just create cool shots. Imagine building a futuristic city with proper structural knowledge and all the technicalities. You’d never have Blade Runner, the Fifth Element, Brazil, Burton’s Gotham City and so on

>>212400871
>Writers, directors, whatever could not care less about making something good
oh i know

>>212400871
Those cities dont magically change scale in every shot, retard

As somewhat crummy as Jurassic Park 3 was, it had a better twist by making the raptors smart enough to communicate. At least better than just mutant monsters.

>>212400912
The fuck you know. Those cities are a blend of miniatures, CG, matte painting and who know what other techniques. So by definition they can’t be the same consistent size. You just became over analytical vacuum cunts due to the disillusioned depressed piece of shit reality we live in. Profound sadness

>>212401118
>Projecting this much
Seek therapy and meds, friendo

>>212401151
Well at least I am not complaining about the size of the dementus rex. That’d be cringe as fuck

>>212401234
>That’d be cringe as fuck
Says the anon defending gareth edward slop

>>212401306
I liked Monsters and the Creator. Good shit

>>212392827
>mom body
Uhhh your point anon?

>>212395648
Nigga what is perspective

>>212401613
>perspective

>>212395648
It's called movie magic, retard

>>212397895
Muh plot armor
Go rewatch the original Jurassic Park and you'll see it's just as bad in that regard

>>212401662
He's a big guy

>>212397895
The worst was the retarded and annoying spic boyfriend. The writers saved him with deus ex machina not once but TWICE. He had to be someone's self insert or someone was in love with the actor or something, it was bullshit.

>>212399203
>kids in danger
Why do they ALWAYS put kids in these fucking movies. They're always insufferable and it makes no sense to have them

>>212398755
>Might as well called it JP3 2.

That's pretty much how I felt about it. It felt like JP3 if it had a bigger budget and a slightly better ending.

>>212401793
Studio execs are still convinced that kids want to see kids despite that idea failing every time it's been tried.

>>212391880 (OP)
I liked it. Reminded me of JP3 in a way. I hated the JW trilogy aside from some bits and pieces of JW1. If you cut out the Spic family it would probably be an 8/10 movie but as is it's probably a 6 or 7.

>>212401793
And we know for a fact that she's gonna survive since they're not going to show a kid get killed, so all those danger scenes have zero tension.

I didnt care about the human parts the dino parts were okay
I didn't give a shit when any of the characters died and you could instantly tell who will die which isn't really a criticism since you could also do that in the first movie
the drex was pointless at least with the indo rex and raptor they were integral parts of their movies and the movie wouldn't work if you replace them with a normal dinosaur
you could replace the drex with any other dinosaur and the movie still works

>>212401793
>Why do they ALWAYS put kids in these fucking movies. They're always insufferable and it makes no sense to have them
What's so weird is that the family and kids are not in ANY of the promotional materials for this movie. I was surprised when i first saw them in the movie. They intentionally focused on promoting scarlett only. If they dont feel the need to advertise the family because they dont think itll sell, why even have them anymore?

>>212401808
>The last three movies make more that one billion each
>it must be all adult attendees and no families with kids
You retards only use logic when it comes to dino cocks size

>>212402059
>destroys a billion dollar facility

>>212402058
>kids going to dinosaur movies to see kids instead of dinosaurs
Don't criticize the logic of others when yours is worse

>>212402059
I usually dont nitpick shit, but this was really really fucking dumb. They seriously couldnt come up with a better way to get the door to malfunction?

>>212402109
they went
>we want the final destination audience

>we have another "we cant hurt da dinos" faggot
in the book they literally fucking carpet bomb the island and that's seen as a good thing btw

>>212395648
In these shots the human to d-rex ratio almost seems somewhat similar but the helicopter is just retardedly small.

>>212402109
They wanted to have their chaos theory moment but it falls flat when there's no Jeff Goldblum going "That's uh chaos"

>>212402259
That human in the first pic is in the foreground way further away from the D-Rex, anon...

>>212399004
Do you have a webm when the bird monster lands on the building in the background at an angle. I vaguely remember that scene from godzilla and it was pure unadulterated kino

>>212401892
I had this t rex

>>212395648
Learn about perspective you absolute mong.

>>212402109
Super sleek ingen lab equals apparent control while the goofy american brings chaos to that order. The craziest disasters in modern history usually start with a dumb fatal mistake

Watching right now..... The script and casting are fkn F-.... Horrible. The stuff that the tech nerds did is badass and comfy. Onions ass liberal screen writer amd dumb ass feminist anti white casting team. Scarlet looks like its her first acting gig. Her and the black dude are always cuckong the white guys. Beaner family with American flag on boat(i know, fitting). Horrendous dialog. Scarlet makes a big deal about being able to shoot water dinosaur, fucking dry fires into air. Every dino interaction is a HUGE ordeal. Beaner dad wants the boyfriend to fuck his daughter. Black guy is the leader of the scientists, billionair and special forces.
Over all 2/10
Only thing giving it a 2 is the tech bros and cgi guys

>Still people thinking it's perspective
That thing is 50 meters tall in the heli scene lmao

>>212402753
It gets better as it goes along. The first 1/3 of the movie is pretty rough IMO.

>>212402259
>>212402292
That heli is a Bell OH-58 A Kiowa, almost 13 meters in length lmao.

>>212391880 (OP)
I liked it, a throw away popcorn film with a simple plot. Much preferred it to what ever James Bond shit Worlds 3 was doing.

>>212402786
Pajeet vfx bros... not like this....

>>212402863
that's almost the length of the T-rex in these films

D-rex goes from a gigantic 50 meters tall Kaiju in one scene, to just a big T-rex in the next. WHAT.
You can just replace the mutants with actual dinosaurs and it would be better off.
Someone calls the first dino a brachiosaurus on the news and it's obviously an Apatosaurus
Professor states the Titanosaurus is 11 tons, and next you see it's as big as a skyscraper.
The ending is also a mess. The spino pack was supposed to save Kincaid and battle the D-rex but they cut it. Then he was supposed to die but they cut that as well. Now D-rex is 2 meters away from him and he magically survives.
Scarlett Johansson is such a horrible actress. Her character is just a hollow shell. You can't name a single characteristic of her, not one.
The music is terrible. Action scene going on and for some reason there's a clarinet blowing 1940's music.
Movie feels like it's directed by 3 different people. Before they reach the island, on the island during the day, and the last part during night. 3 completely different vibes.
Screw all these characters. They're either extremely annoying, or just completely forgettable. Can't name half the family members, or even the bad guy. You also don't care about any of them.
The inclusion of the family adds absolutely 0 value. They also can’t act for shit and Xavier might be running for the worst character in the franchise. A franchise that has the Kirby family.
Dialogue is simply terrible in 90% of the movie. Utter bland characters, a mediocre plot. It doesn't even feel like they're in dino land. There's no sense of danger.

And my god they’re really trying to force the ‘people in the movie don’t care about dinosaurs anymore so neither should YOU(the audience)’ down our throats.
No, we want dinosaurs. Not mutants, locusts or cloned humans.

>>212402858
Okay, im half way through. Will continue watching w/ open mind

>Wanna smoke some weed with me, little 8 year old kid?
>He's just joking dad, why don't you understand his humor??
Fuck Xavier and fuck that stupid bitch that's fucking him

When the big pharma guy says “we’re putting together a team” I started laughing like a schizo

Holy sht, there's never been a better thread or time to post this. My script from like 2yrs ago. . .

Well, well, well . . . .
1/3
script for the new Jurassic Park movie. Be honest, if this had a $300million budget would you watch it?
It's like this. .
>Takes place on dinosaurs island. Filled with scientists. They're there to figure out where all the dinosaurs went. It's supposed to be packed. One day their cameras get motion triggered. There's a dinosaur on the move. Small team rushes to the scene. They spot a lone t-rex like dinosaur. They follow from a distance. They keep chatting about how happy they are to finally spot a dinosaur, but also so confused why it's alone and where it's going. It leads them through some brush & bush. Right to a family of 3 t-rexs. They're pinned between a massive rock mountain and this lone dinosaur. A mom, a baby and a dad. The dad is hiding behind the baby and the mom. Scientists find this absolutely strange. Then in a moment, the dad t-rex takes off on a full sprint. The lone dinosaur engages chase. Scientists follow as fast as their lil terrain vehicle goes. They pull up at a waterfall. Their jaws drop. They are in shock. The lone dinosaur is rapeing the full grown dad t-rex. Minutes pass. The lifeless body of the dad falls to the ground. He has been raped to his death. The lone dinosaur wanders off. Scientists again follow. This goes on for days. And for days there are no dinosaurs present, yet the lone dinosaur is able to lead them to pockets of hidden dinosaurs across the island and he rapes them mercilessly.

>>212403002
2/3
>It seems all the dinosaurs on the island are aware of the gay rapeing t-rex and are in hiding. None of them are able to stand up to the lone t-rex. The scientists must get back to base and figure out a solution. Scenes of scientists in white lab coats infront of computers and advanced machinery commence. They've done it! They figured out a solution. They will grow a bigger gayer t-rex in a lab and release it to combat the lone t-rex. Days and weeks pass. SUCCESS!! They've created the lab dinosaur. They release it. At this point the whole world has heard whats been happening on dinosaur island and are tuned in to livestreams across the island. All world conflics halt. The economies pause. No work at any offices is getting done, as people's eyes are glued to the t.v's. They watch as the scientists trail the lab t-rex for days and nights as it wanders across barren land. Then it happens, the most anticipated moment. They spot eachother. About 200 yards separate them as they size each other up. Then!! All the sudden.. . the lone t-rex turns and sprints at full speed. The lab t-rex gives chase. Scientists right behind them. The world gasps in unison. THE CHASE IS ON! They're so fast. The go-pro on the terrain vehicle is the most intense cinematography theres been in a century. The vehicle can't keep up and is falling behind. The t-rexs are no longer in sight. The scientists are pushing it to the max. Buttons and lights are blinking as the vehicle begins to over heat. But then- they come to a clearing. The two t-rexs are face to face. Feet apart. Snout to snout. They can feel eachothers breath. The scientists can't take their eyes off the intense standoff. For a second time the whole world halts. 8billion viewers. You can see the surrounding tree line light up with thousands of eyes. The dinosaurs of the island are watching. Nobody knows whats going to happen. Simultaneously both their heads turn in the same direction. What are they looking at?

>>212403023
3/3
>They begin walking side by side. Now jogging. Full on sprint ! . why is this happening? What is happening. Scientists baffled. They're still sprinting. Straight towards a rock. Eyes peer up from behind the rock. Its a dinosaur!!! The two t-rexes are honed in on it. It knows it's being targeted. It's terrified. Its makes a run for it. But it's futile. THE T-REXES HAVE GOT IT. They begin double rapeing this dinosaur infront of billions of viewers. Kids are screaming, moms are shielding their eyes. Then just like that. The lifeless body drops almost in slow motion. The world has went silent. The realization sets in for the scientists, they know what they've done. Created a mega rape island.!! They're lost for words. And in an instant the two t-rexes turn and face the scientists in the vehicle.
BLACK SCREEN. the second movie will pick up at this part. Not bad . . .Pretty slick, huh

It was a metaphor for the danger Mexican families go through to cross the border illegally

>>212402786
this is the JWR style guide size chart
so even though it is massive it is still way too big in half of it's screentime

>>212403060
Who made this? Rexy is 13.5 m long and 5.5m tall. No way this Rex is that much smaller since it looks like it's the biggest one yet.
But hey, not like anyone making this movie actually knows their own franchise dinosaurs since they named the very first species wrong and said the Titanosaurus was 11 tons

>>212392204
>LOOK
>PLEASE LOOK
>LOOOK AT MY VIRTUAL BOYFRIEND
no

>>212403172
it was a part of the leaked production sheet
and yeah this rex suffers the same scaling issues as well
as when it first starts chasing them in the water it would have to be 13 meters tall

>>212402059
Why did they build a security system with a peanut allergy?

>>212403172
the titanosaur also has it's length measured with it's tail in that position

>hey honey, where is your boyfriend, it’s his turn at the wheel, is he comin’ or not
>yeah, I told him, he’s just getting dressed
>oh… okay
Grimm

>>212403291
Kek

>>212399102
http://biggerluke.wikidot.com/

I recognise that theory.

I hear people complaining about a slow start with no much but talking. The first mosasaur attack comes about thirty minutes into the movie. Fuckin’ zoomers and their tiktok attention span

>>212403774
The slower start is actually one of the few good things about the movie. Dominion was horrible because so many things were happening too quickly.

>>212403774
the one where it capsizes the boat?
but when there isn't a dino set peice it is just boring
even then the quetzalcoatlus attack was boring

>>212403774
The problem is that it takes them a whole hour to get on the island. You're just watching Waterworld in the first hour

>>212403774
It took the first Jurassic Park the same amount of time to get to the island and a little bit longer to see a dinosaur. That is if you don't count the offscreen appearance of the raptor in the intro.

>>212403894
Yeah but in JP we're 'stuck' with fleshed out characters backed by actual talent and great dialogue.
Here you're stuck with hollow shells backed by talentless hacks with dogshit dialogue

>>212403846
it remind me of that fake jurassic park 4 trailer i saw as a kid
jurassic park water world or something
it had grant on a boat and he fell into the water and looked around and he was surrounded by all sorts of prehistoric marine reptiles

>>212403956
>remind
reminds*

>>212392827
>She's got a mom body now.

>>212391880 (OP)
Terrible. Crowbarred in a random Mexican family for no reason, the big bad dino experiment appears briefly at the start and then disappears until the end where it does pretty much nothing, the new flying raptors aren't particularly scary, the attempts at humour are cringe, the story is boring and stupid (really, if you need blood from dinosaurs, use a fucking drone, you're rich with advanced tech at your disposal), and not one of the characters has any actual personality, then it just ends, no real conclusion.

>>212403923
I just didn’t like Scarjo’s acting which is basically the same impudent look in every shot as in her Black Widow days. MCU really is toxic for creativity. The Mexican family is fine, I don’t see the issue with them too

>>212402410
Perspective is irrelevant, retard. The film shows at one point the d-rex grabbing a helicopter out of the sky and biting the front off, where two people are sitting. Then later, it shows the same d-rex picking up a person and only able to bit the person in half. They fucked up the size regardless of perspective.

>>212404131
One shot is for the big wow and the other just convenient for the story as they need to retrieve the sample case attached to big pharma’s hand. Simple as

>>212404235
gm saaars!

>>212404235
Oh, so it's okay because it's badly written and makes no sense. Very good, saar!

>>212404261
Is there any recent summer blockbuster you really enjoyed?

>>212404295
Just splitting hairs. It’s like people complaining about the big out of the blue moat in the rex paddock in the original JP

>>212404423
It's nothing like that at all.

>>212404423
It's not splitting hairs to point out that a dinosaur goes from one size to over 5 times bigger and then back down to a smaller size over the course of a few minutes. Stop being a retarded jeet.

>>212404578
Look I get you didn’t like the movie but you are the retarded autist obsessed with shift in creature sizes in a fuckin’ monster movie. Have you considered starting a career as script girl? Mah consistency

>>212404752
>jeet continues jeeting
Drown yourself in a toilet.

>>212404783
A “jeet” is making fun of your compulsive stupidity. Maybe it’s time you let it go bro

>>212404806
>jeet continues jeeting
Drown yourself in a toilet.

>>212391880 (OP)
thoughts and prayers

allowing indians to have access to the internet was a mistake

>>212404813
Well it might work if in one scene the toilet is the same size as an industrial refrigerator

>>212403894
>it took the original that set up the premise 30 mins of decent character work before we saw our first dinosaur, why do you expect this slop that's now the 7th in the installment to get to the dinosaurs faster?
You're a dishonst cunt.

>>212404752
Even the normiest of normies are asking why it suddenly drastically changed size.

>>212404966
kek

>>212391880 (OP)
Should have had a more epic ending, spino vs d rex would've been cool. As it stands the movie just ends kind of abruptly.

>>212392319
Ya, I heard that one of the biggest complaints about this movie was that there werent any kaiju dinosaur battles like the previous World movies. Makes sense when it’s coming from people that regularly consume, superhero slop.

>>212391880 (OP)
kino

>the dinosaurs on the new island are too scary and dangerous for Bryce Dallas Howard’s park
>enters Dolores the aquilops
???

>>212395648
It’s jaw is like full stretched out so not as egregious

>>212397895
>but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was on a short studio leash.

It sounds like he was given free reign. He wanted to just undo dinosaurs being loose all over the planet and go back to them on islands and they let him. There entire plan for this franchise moving forward was that Dinosaurs are all over the world now and they let this man undo that just to make this shit movie.

Did anyone else find it fucking retarded that the Museum scene has cartoon versions of the new dinosaurs in this movie and scenes from later in the film just playing in the background?

>>212401994
The D-rex getting 0 explanation as to why the fuck they made it is also crazy. The D-rex serves no purpose its not a viable park asset it would have been put down once the deformities started showing. So why the fuck were they keeping it alive?

>>212405394
the best you could guess is that it was one of the mistakes you get while trying to get the indominous rex

>>212391880 (OP)
>movie called Jurassic World
>It's actually just a shitty bootleg Alien 3 or 5 "horror" slop
I wanted dinos not cgi xenos

>>212405394
I think that got explained as it costs billions to make them so better to keep them alive and research apparently.

>>212405414
>billions
the pharmaceutical guy said it was $72 million per dinosaur on average to make

>>212401994
>you could instantly tell who will die which isn't really a criticism since you could also do that in the first movie
I always thought that Hammond was gonna die in the first movie.

Something about monster kill his maker or whareva

>>212405408
That could make sense if they wanted to tie it into that. But theres no reason to keep it alive.

But more importantly 2 years before that flashback Dr Wu had already created a hybrid on the main island and the board requesting to make a new Hybrid attraction for the park happened 2 years after that flashback.

>>212405450
is that the scorpius rex shit?
cause i just ignore the camp cretaceous shit

D-rex was cute

>kid takes a piss while the new mutant kills a raptor
It’s kino

Is there a good torrent already or you actually paid real money to watch this trash

>paleonerd starts crying after touching the wrinkled leg of a large sauropod that is about to mate
It’s kino

>>212391880 (OP)
its JP3 but instead of dinokino its just bloated slop
>spinos are lame
>mercs are boring
>plot is predictable
>no death scenes
>the Retardo Rex has less than 2 minutes of showtime

>>212405345
>Life... finds a way....!!!
>All the dinosaurs around the world simultaneously die at the exact same time everywhere around the world except for on the equator in a few islands
??????

>>212405772
Life also finds diseases like dino HIV brought by humans like chimps before them. It’s like poetry

>>212405394
>So why the fuck were they keeping it alive?
They literally explain it. It was an accounting trick to avoid showing losses to stockholders

>>212391880 (OP)
it's fucking garbage, again

the director is competent with visuals, but the writing and story is boardroom as fuck

Better than the first Jurassic Park in that it was more of a horror movie.

>>212405985
When? There wasn't any horror in it at all.

>>212405955
But literally who cares? Are you saying there are people periodically checking on wether the D-Rex is alive or not? How would they even know if its all abandoned anyway?

>>212405965
>the director is competent with visuals
>cant even keep the scale of the big baddy dino right

>>212406016
This guy is stupid

>>212391880 (OP)
>>212395648
It's honestly retarded how much of a size change it has.

>>212406033
Yes. He's never made a good movie.

>>212406051
>Pajeets: please stop nitpicking nobody even noticed saaars!

>>212406052
He made a piece of shit Jurassic movie that will make millions in only fifteen months. What did you do?

>>212405999
The company went bankrupt after Jurassic world and they didn't tell anyone about the abandoned island (probably to avoid more lawsuits

honestly they should either stop making these movies or go full retard on them
>Jurassic World: Space Zoo
>Jurassic World: Time Busters
>Jurassic World: World War J
>Jurassic World: Zombie Zoo

>>212406121
>Jurassic Galaxy: Invasion
I wouldn't put it passed them.

>>212406098
>He made a piece of shit Jurassic movie that will make millions in only fifteen months. What did you do?

>>212406121
>they should stop making these low-effort slop movies that keep making stupid amounts of money because hurrr dinosaurs

sure this will definitely happen

>>212406121
Jurassic Blow, a smaller scale movie about a tiny village in New Mexico infested by raptors or troodons or any other vicious creature. Isabela Merced is the daughter of a local herdsman. Just cacti, rocks and white buildings. Larger than life characters as in the first Tremors movie. The place is run by the cartel so you can’t call the authorities

>>212406218
This movie is already flopping just like all capeshit

The future is now video game adaptations and coomer slop

>>212405345
It was a retarded concept to begin with. How does a handful of large animals being released result in “OMG DINOSAURS EVERYWHERE”?

It’s like a herd of elephants escaping from a zoo, and everyone just being like “Well, I guess we’re living on elephant planet now”. There’s entire industries and government agencies built around monitoring, tracking, and trapping animals. The fallout of the end of Fallem Kingdom would have been resolved in days, if not hours.

>>212406265
Any example of coomer slop?

>>212405752
So basically, it’s JP3 but you’re not six anymore.

>>212406308
The arnora movie and all the latest movies of emma stone, pretty much every movie that has the
>LOOK DAD, I'M ACTING!
Also M3gan with the obvious pedo gaze audience

>>212405613
i saw it with my brothers
the best part of the movie was my brother tripping over people trying to get to our seats

>>212406179
I got the joke but seriously, what did you achieve in fifteen months? Think about it

>>212395648
Like this.

>>212406384
Think about what exactly? What does making a shitty movie in 15 months have to do with anything? What are you trying to say, Pajeet?

>>212406339
give examples of sex scenes with women where (in your mind) they AREN'T doing "look dad I'm acting!"

I need you to prove you don't just have an intense rage response to any footage of women having sex.

>>212406421
Meet Joe Black.

>>212406412
My bad, let’a go back to the essay on the disproportions of the degenerate rex in the latest dino slop

>>212406518
What essay?

>>212406421
>normalize being a literal whore

>be given an oscar

peak judeoamerica

I really like the colours and overall design of the dinosaurs. Red compys are cool

>>212398493
Basically this. You could've ended the thread here.

>>212406462
>zero nudity and syrupy music from a movie aimed at women
yikes. oh well, thanks for providing a data point at least.

>>212406762
It's easier for you to just say "good point" than it is to shift those goalposts so weakly.

>>212406549
What’s wrong with being a whore? It’s not a dishonest job like, let’s say the lawyer or the ticket inspector

>>212391880 (OP)
I'm so tired of this shit. Everything people said has contributed to the series' decline got doubled down on in this movie, and the only mildly interesting hook introduced in the previous trilogy (a literal Jurassic World where dinosaurs roam wild) gets the reset button slammed on, because that was apparently a huge problem that the audience forgot to ask the producers to fix. It may be physically impossible for Jurassic Park to reach Star Wars levels of insufferable but certainly not for a lack of trying.

At this point just give us a Turok movie or a Cadillacs and Dinosaurs movie. Imagine a Rambo or Predator style movie with dinosaurs, because that's what Turok is. Imagine a movie like Mad Max Fury Road style movie but it was set in a neo-cretacious world with dinosaurs, and the cars are kept in beautiful pristine condition because they're treated like holy relic weapons, and that's what Cadillacs and Dinosaurs is.

I hope they include a full size InGen Legoraptor in the movies some day. I’d like to see them try to stop that.

Is this the first time ever in a Jurassic movie we see a protagonist outright kill a dinosaur with a gun? I don't even remember Chris Pratt doing this.

>>212407826
I’m kind of tired of Rambo/Predator/Alien. They try to reboot that style with a female actress. The preview shows them walking around with a gun. Like, what does this have to do with Jurassic park? This shit can’t be fixed.

>>212407826
C&D done today by modern Hollywood jerks? No, thanks, I'll stick to the great Capcom game

>>212408019
Jurassic Park was a unique IP and unfortunately the further away from the first movie we move the more of its uniqueness we lose. When it comes to action type franchises there are much better franchises for it than Jurassic Park.

Are we really supposed to think this doughy, aging Jewess is harder to take out than Muldoon in the original?

>>212408623
Jewrassic Whore?

Jurassic WORLD needs to fuck off and die forever.

Jurassic PARK needs to come back.

Literally everything that makes a Jurassic move "Jurassic" is in the first 3 films (plus the novels) and, coincidentally, that's what everyone wants to see.

Not mutants.
Not hybrids.
Not walled women with weird sci-fi guns.
Not dinosaurs being used as a vehicle for the next Baby Yoda.

Regular people.
On a dinosaur island.
With regular reasons for being there doing regular things to survive.
Where regular dinosaurs do scary things to regular people, like HUNTING AND EATING THEM ALIVE.
(And some cool vehicles, maybe.)

Jurassic Park seems so simple to do as a concept but they keep trying to zazz it up in ways that don't work.
It's like that SpongeBob episode where he gets an ego and the customers get angry at him for doing everything to try and get their attention and approval EXCEPT making their food.

>>212408707
The Girth

>>212395648
oh nononono AHHHHH HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA

>>212408749
Way tougher than Muldoon.

The original movies had one tough, hunter guy who fit the role and he died because the dinosaurs were scary and you were supposed to respect their power. They weren't there for girlbosses to prove themselves. Yeah, Sattler did well, but with raw power. She acted like someone in a desperate survival situation, like all the characters.

Gareth Edwards likes The Terminator more than T2. He's a cool guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La0J_o1rKnw

>>212407980
he went straight for the kill against against the indominous and indoraptor but they are bullet proof

>>212408749
It's like they really believe they've run out of ideas to to get people onto the islands in the first place.

You want a Jurassic Park in the modern age and an excuse to get people on the islands? Make one about a group of enthusiasts who are either hired or sneak their way onto the island to set up trail cams so people can stream the dinosaurs from all over the world, but they get fucked up in classic Jurassic fashion.

>>212408749
Preach brother.
But unfortunately anyone involved with these movies are so utterly disconnected with reality.
For the past 10 years they've been really trying to force the ‘people in the movie don't care about dinosaurs anymore so neither should YOU(the audience)’ down our throats.

>>212409152
>JP1 brings people for a test run of the new safari park that goes wrong
>JP2 has a rival company with mercs go to steal specimens
>JP3 has a tourist go missing so his family hires mercs to find him
>JW1 just re-does JP1 but with a freak dino
>JW2 just re-does JP2 but with a freak dino
>JW3... I actually don't know, I skipped that one
>JW4 re-does JP2 and JW2 but with an even freakier dino and fewer mercs
I'm starting to sense a pattern.

>>212409152
man I hate those guys. they're the modern hipsters with their ACG, Patagonia or North Face jackets and zero real experience in nature

>>212391880 (OP)
This is an incredibly specific nitpick/compliment, but I remember during the scene when the Mutadons start attacking that the music, for a few seconds, had a bit of xylophone thrown into the normally generic tense action movie soundtrack. For a brief moment I felt like someone behind this film was actually making a bold artistic choice that kind of worked, but then the xylophone never comes back, sad.

I'm a huge JPfag and feel like my bar for entertainment in the franchise is pretty low. First reaction to Rebirth was it was meh, after letting it gestate for a few days its the 2nd worst next to Dominion. I'm willing to forgive a lot of stuff but ultimately to me the thrills just aren't there and that's the big problem. The movie really could have us some more cannon fodder mercs and more scenes from either the spinosaurus or d-rex.

It also sucks that they pretended like this was going back to the franchises horror roots but it ended up just being an action movie. JW and Fallen Kingdom had better tense "scary" scenes than Rebirth did.

>>212398208
>where the movie turned into a haunted house but dinosaurs movie for the second half
that's what makes FK the most interesting JP sequel
It's the only one with STYLE that isn't trying to rehash the original

>>212391880 (OP)
All they had to do was play up the horror angle. Bait and switch the audience with mild mutations in the first half and then go straight up nightmare fuel near the end. Strip the plot down of everything prior and make it just ESCAPE. They had an excuse to go the eldritch dinosaur abomination route and they were too much of cowards to commit to such a tone.

It would be really easy to fix this movie.

>Remove mexican family entirely
>add more mercs to be fodder
>remove the mutants entirely
>make the island a dumping ground for real dinosaur species who were cloned but it turned out their species were super aggressive assholes or something otherwise incompatible with living in the park

How come there isn't a better cam copy yet?

>>212409823
Yep, it genuinely is that easy. Which makes me wonder how Hollywood keeps failing to do what all of us know would work.

>>212392204
I fucking hate that guy so much

>>212409823
>add more dinos
>character shouldn't be PUSSIES. make them less GAY
>no brown people
>more shooting and titties

yeah anon your fresh take is really appreciated

>>212406421
I gotta try having sex with a shirt and gloves on.

>>212391880 (OP)
I don't know, I'm literally going to watch it tomorrow. I'm going in with no expectations as I think only the first film (which is a timeless masterpiece) is canon. I'm expecting somewhat entertaining dinoslop and nothing more.

>>212402639
Yes but gazillion dollar facilities have fucking failsafes that go beyond what an average joe could do by dropping a piece of plastic

>>212410194
The fact it opened with something as retarded as the system going "oh no, the door isn't closed and may cause a breach... better reboot, which also causes all doors to open and cause a breach" told me I was in for a wild ride of stupid shit.

>>212405247
There weren't enough Dinosaur/human interactions that weren't retarded or badly rehashed.
The entire scene with the Downe Syndrome Rex should have been removed and replaced with an actual dinosaur. There was zero pay off for the little dinosaur the kid kept. Franky there was no growth for any of the kids, it would have been helped if the dad DIED and the older daughter had to step up, and the stupid 'stoner' boyfriend displayed more growth then magically flipping a switch.
The entire ScarJo/mercenaries sub slop (it doesn't deserve to be called a plot or story arch) was shit; the stupid half romance with the paleontologist was undercooked and shit. It would have been interesting to see ScarJo actually being a ruthless money obsessed mother fucker who doesn't give a fuck about the family or anything else other than getting the money, and her black friend trying to, or failing to, make her find her humanity. I don't know, there are a dozen ways they could have made it more interesting and they failed at every opportunity.
I will say they didn't shy away from graphic deaths (even if they were bloodless); black Frenchie getting shallowed whole and 'Downe Syndrome Rex biting off heads were unexpected

>>212410298
Yup. Minute one, the writing revealed exactly what I was strapped in for

>>212398208
Filtered idiot that part was the only good part of the movie

>>212408749
To be fair to the movie it didn't sly away from kills.
The only thing missing was a raptor kill

>>212391880 (OP)
it's mostly dinos eating people which is all I could want from a dino movie instead of human drama, autistic children, daughter clones & shit
Also women die again

>>212398493
World is trash and Rebirth is vastly better

Why are they spending dozens of millions on expensive gene tech for random ass dinos when they could instead use the same branch of tech to enhance humans and unlock their true genetic potential
guess the chink competitors of chudGEN are probably making literal supersoldiers and X-men already

>>212402058
Kids don't give a fuck about other kids in movies. Kids want to be the action hero or see cool shit happen, not try and relate to little Timmy as he blubbers like a retard

>>212410801
>Rebirth is vastly better
than jw3 yes but is worse than everything else

The sad music that plays when the mexican girl gets dragged away by the spinosaurus made me laugh

>>212410926
the writer of Rebirth said he put a family in it because it's a family summer movie and you can easily relate to those untrained people. It's not that hard chuds

>>212392204
>LOOK GUYS I CRITICIZED THE DUMB SUMMER FLICK AND SAID THE DINO MOVIE DOESNT HAVE GOOD HUMAN DRAMA PLEASE TAKE ME SERIOUSLY AS A CERTIFIED VETERAN MOVIE CRITIC

>>212408969
>Baraka appreciator
based

why is the jeet batting for this director so hard?
is he being paid?

>>212408749
>Jurassic WORLD needs to fuck off and die forever.
>Jurassic PARK needs to come back.
Fucking this

>>212411277
Superjew lost

>>212411449
when a girl asks me to spit in her mouth during sex I always think about this scene. So good

I don't understand why these films are called "Jurassic" Park when almost all of the dinosaurs featured in them, except dilophosaurus & brachiosaurus, are from the Cretaceous era

>>212411414
Pretty much this. Needs to just be scientists or regular people. No more hybrids.
No more dino team-ups or gay shit like that.

>>212397983
Edwards got lucky with Godzilla

>>212391880 (OP)
I liked the water dino action, that's about it.

>>212399445
wtf is a feet?

>>212411926
30cm~

Reboot the series with a plan for 3 movies and then do a bunch of 3-6 ep short TV shows exploring other concepts once the dinos/dna leave the islands. Have Boston Dynamics make a bunch of true size robo dinos to use for all the shows before putting them in a theme park.