Thread 212407754

Name your three wishes. There are no infinite wishes.

An instantaneous painless death.

(infinity - 1) wishes

A slow, serene, painless death.

>>212407754 (OP)
Send me back in time to when I was 13 but give me my accumulated knowledge of the future and give me the opportunity to live my life correctly. I'll see you in 60 years or so for the second wish.

theres only no infinite wishes but theres still a huge amount of finite wishes so i wish for 1 hundred trillion more wishes.

>>212407754 (OP)
I wish for no wishes. Now what do you say?

I wish there were no rules restricting infinite wishes..

>>212407797
what's the second wish, anon?

>>212407801
Done.

>>212407797
this is the correct answer

>>212407797
you'd still be a fuck up

>>212407754 (OP)
1. Another genie that will grant me infinite wishes
2. For said genie to become my Stand
3. All every wish he grants, he as, my Stand, becomes stronger

>>212407754 (OP)
1) Infinite money
2) A Death Note
3) A body immune to disease or aging

That’s kind of all you’d need.

>>212407812
Would be contingent on the second life.

>>212407830
Nope.

>>212407797
You’d start off with the attitude of “THIS time I’ll get it right,” but then slip back into just kind of dicking around

>>212407888
>but then slip back into just kind of dicking around
Even if that were the case, which I doubt, you could just fall back on investing in bitcoin at the right time.

>>212407822
hahaha you just granted one and fell into my trap!
no idea what comes next

>>212407754 (OP)
The ones from boondock saints

>>212407907
the timeline integrity wizards would stop you

Don't you hate when you can't settle on wishes because you have so many narcissistic racist tendencies?
I'm just gonna take this one across the board and wish for no niggers, feminism or kikes.

>>212407797
This but when I was 5

>>212407851

1) all the money piles over you wherever you go, forever
2) a shinigami will claim you one way or another before your time
3) your body turns into a baby form in the process

Genis logic

>>212407967
I've thought about this, and I think your parents and teachers would have thought you had some kind of problem because you were so pessimistic and a loner at age five.

>>212407943
Then I'd use my second wish to get rid of the timeline integrity wizards.

>>212407797
Your parents would control everything you’d do and you’d go mad knowing you should be rich but can’t be.

>>212407984
anon you don't know what forces you're messing with here

>>212407974
We’re talking Disney genie not Wishmaster.

>>212407754 (OP)
I wish to be a young, sexy biological woman.

>>212407754 (OP)
I want my teacher dead
I want to have sex with Megan Welbley
I wanna be the President of the United States of America

>>212407995
I suspect I'm older than you think and also have different parents. Going back to 13 would in no way result in my parents inhibiting me from becoming rich. Though considering literally anyone on Earth that knew when to buy and hold bitcoin could become rich means that would apply to every time traveller.

i wish i was happy...

>>212407869
so why don't you just live your life correctly now

>>212408178
Around 30 years worth of poor choices or mistakes and their subsequent impacts. Even if I started rectifying everything that makes my life unsatisfying tomorrow by the time I'd manage to find some kind of satisfaction, assuming I even could, I'd still be so far behind the life I could've had without some seriously debilitating decisions of the past.

>>212407797
This and buying millions of bitcoin when it was like 0.0000001 of a penny

>>212408073
I wish my mom was happy

>>212407754 (OP)
1. Selective immortality, I cannot die unless I want to
2. The ability to customize my body like in a video game where I can change my appearance, stats, etc.
3. Ability to control time. Pause, rewind, fast forward, skip, etc.

I would just live any life I want to until I get bored of living altogether then let myself die.

>>212407974
>a shinigami will claim you one way or another before your time
Not true unless you make an eye deal with them.

>>212407754 (OP)
>An extended Doctor Who movie universe franchise
>A live action extended Gerry Anderson movie universe franchise
>The Restraint of Beasts and The Scheme For Full Employment by Magnus Mills turned into films

>>212407754 (OP)
>wish I could wish for infinite wishes
>infinite wishes

>first edition charizard
>james bond's aquatic lotus car
>another wish
>a flowering cactus shaped like a wiener

>>212408650
Actually let me amend this a little
>wish the genie could in no way shape or form screw me over
>wish I could wish for infinite wishes
>wish for infinite wishes.

>>212407754 (OP)
My first wish is for Bulma's panties(obligatory).
My second wish, rather than the "obtuse infinite" wishes wish, I opt for the humble "two wishes" wish.
For my first wish I wish for a sandwhich. Turkey and roastbeef, with lettuce, red onion, and mayo on a nice nutty multigrain loaf.
For my second wish, I wish for two more wishes.
For my first wish I wish for my coffee to be reheated, but not in like a "gross reheated coffee" kind of way.
Im sure you can figure out what my second wish will be.

>>212407797
>do this
>constantly search for bitcoin starting at like 2005 because i dont actually remember the first year it came out
>bitcoin because big like normal but glowies notice on google trends there has been a single person googling bitcoin for years
>get black bagged and tortured for decades until the genie shows back up for my second wish

still worth it for all the teenage poon though

>>212408708
You have now used your 3 wishes. The wishes you now have aren't redeemable with Sir Genie

>>212407801
No. You're still making a wish. Simply never make a wish. The Djin seek only to torment mortals. No matter what you wish for, the wish will eventually bring you nothing but pain.

>>212407754 (OP)
>Zionist erasure
> The ability to make myself imperceptible at will including cameras and heat sensors
>8 inch prehensile dick

>>212408783
That falls under screwing me over, which the genie cannot do as per my first wish.

>>212407754 (OP)
1. Bring everyone back from the dead.
2. Make everyone fall in love with me.
3. Set Genie free (as a human)

I wish for the genie to be free with my first wish putting all my eggs in the friendly djinn basket

>>212407799
No it’s not infinite, OP fucked up. It’s no wishing for more wishes.

>>212408730
>going back to high school knowing how many girls had a thing for me, and now knowing what chicks like
god, i would thrive

>>212407984
They wish your wish to be invalid before you even wish it.

>>212408471
so you want to be a jin. Time to get into lamp bro.

>>212408847
Would it still be able to grant wishes if it was unable to screw you over is the resl question. If a genie always screws you over with your wish then it could prevent the genie from granting futher wishes, but that in turn would also be screwing you over since you lose out on two wishes making the wish itself a paradox.

>>212408338
Now you've never been born and don't get your 2 other wishes.

>>212407851
>disease or aging
You’d still get shot dumbass.

>>212407754 (OP)
Suck my dick.

Swallow.

Three more wishes.

>>212408912
The genie would have no choice but to fulfill my wishes as per my exact desire and count on the fact I will be self destructive enough with my infinite wishes to screw myself over. Fortunately for me, I have infinite wishes to unscrew myself.

>>212407754 (OP)
i wish people never got sick, immune or genetic
i wish everyone have average 130 iq or more
i wish ftl travel tech is possible

>>212407851
>3) A body immune to disease or aging
You're going to get put into a jellyfish body or something with a wish phrased that vaguely.
It's like you WANT to get monkey pawed, even a cool genie couldn't resist.

>>212407797
Nah, knowing the future would be grim and there's the butterfly effect I'd incur from trying to stop something.

I'd rather go back with an accumulated knowledge of everything about the past. Any movies, TV, music, history, knowledge, etc. that I've consumed or learned from birth to present that existed at or prior to my age 10, I fully retain.

>>212407797
>>212407888
>>212408885
>retards don’t realize your brain has not fully developed at that point
You’d KNOW you could hit it off with ladies, but your intense hormones and underdeveloped brain would literally prevent you from making the connections you have now. Basically you’d relive your hell and know you used to have the knowledge to make it better but wouldn’t be able to. It’s a biological thing. This is like wishing you were 5 years old again because you’d know you could just lift weights and be as strong ad you are now then. That’s not how it works.

When you have too much of anything, you just stop valuing it. What I’d ask is for life to have video game mechanics:
>1. Video game saving mechanics: Can save, load, restart anytime
>2. As I live, my character stats get only better
>3. Every quest has an actual reward

>>212409052
no it wouldnt. all you need to know is that women are dumb whores and dont let puppy love fuck you over which it wont because youve already been with women before

you could bang all the hoes and still be aware enough to not knock them up or get obsessed with them

1) The Rothschild never existed
2) The Jews were successfully exterminated in WW2
3) a bigger penis

>>212407797
Same for me, except maybe as young as 6. Enjoy a lot more time with my family. Somehow get the message to my grandparents and uncle about their impending medical problems so they can try to address them as early as possible for the best chance of recovery. Have my parents invest in Apple and Tesla. Bet on a few superbowls that I can remember. Invest in bitcoin.

I wish you were a cute teen girl genie and we had sex
I wish that during the sex you become pregnant with my half genie half normal child
I wish that we get married and raise our child in the hills of Virginia and grow old together

>>212409052
>Some faggot comes in to 'ackchyually' a fucking genie wish thread
>His logic isn't even consistent
Fuck off, retard. Use one of your wishes to not be such a faggot. Even the genie might have his work cut out with that one.

>>212407797
This will be worse than hell.
You'll be living in a constant state of deja u.
Nothing will feel new, or exciting to you.
School and other daily activities will cause you to loose focus and daydream.
Video games will never feel new
You'll be extremely frustrated by old computer software
Tragic events will still happen and unless you have their wiki page memorized, you won't be able to prevent them
Then you'll probably be some weirdo who can predict mundane shit.

What are you going to do? Run away from your parents house and try to change the future?
Try to give your parents advice on things?
Who's gonna listen to a 13 year old?
How long until the events you've manged to prevent no longer align with your memory of the future? You'll be worse off.

>>212409082
>2) The Jews were successfully exterminated in WW2
There wasn't an attempt. You'd be better off just wishing that Hadrian finished the job back in the 2nd century.

>>212409082
>3
Id rather wish that every man in the world, who is not me, had a penis half the size of mine.
That way Id have the biggest dick in the world by a large margin while not having to carry it around in a wheelbarrow

>>212409251
>You'll be living in a constant state of deja u.
>Nothing will feel new, or exciting to you.
>School and other daily activities will cause you to loose focus and daydream.
>Video games will never feel new
>You'll be extremely frustrated by old computer software

>>212407754 (OP)
>more gold than I could ever spend
>Allow me to rape anyone without punishment
>Rape Jafar with a massive blue cock

>>212407797
Sorry but you manage to fuck up even harder because you are already in a loser mindset.

>I wish to become a free genie with all the powers and none of the drawbacks
Done. It's just that easy.

>>212407754 (OP)
>Nothing sentient ever dies
>Every sentient thing that ever lived reincarnates into a human
>Perfect health for everything sentient, forever.

>>212407754 (OP)
1. I wish that, going forward, anyone who says they're a Christian burns in Hell for all eternity.
2. Anyone who believes in a faith other than Christianity ceases to exist upon death.
3. Rational thinkers, skeptics, atheists, non-believers, etc. spend eternity in paradise.

Then sit back and enjoy the chud tears and screams for all eternity.

>>212409403
Granted. The world will be overpopulated in 5 minutes, and 99% of all humanity are Indian and Chinese.

>>212408001
>t. Timeline integrity wizard shaking in his boots

>>212407754 (OP)
>get a beautiful brown MENA princess gf
>have lots of sex with her
>without making babies.

I want life to be like a video game where I can re-spec my character sheet and appearance at any time. In addition, I can save and reload (infinite save slots) and have access to a console with cheat commands/complete control over the game.

>>212409441
>overpopulated
Meaningless when we all have eternal perfect health and immortality. Could go walk around mars naked.

>>212409485
fucking nigger gay. change that last one to

>all our babies are 100% white aryan hyperboreans

>>212409487
First, you need to show the genie a video game.

>>212409403
>All those Chinese babies tossed into the river just drown for an eternity in the ocean
>China, India, and Africa explode even more in population
>Endless wars of people getting blown to bits and them surviving but unable to be put back together
>Just eternal suffering all around when food and fresh water runs out
Gee thanks.

>>212409522
Blown to bits is not perfect health, would violate wish #3. The babies thrown in the river would be fine, they'd just swim around down there impervious and grow up underwater.

>>212407754 (OP)
>There are no infinite wishes.
I wish there were.

3 big titty big clitty trannies no ethnics no fat chicks

>>212407754 (OP)
I want to be a necromancer, that's it. I just like the idea of being a pain in the ass to the government by constantly reviving the dead

>>212409403
My only concern is this would be like turning a cheat code on in a game. Fun for a couple hours being impervious, but then it gets boring. Also what if you get caught in a rock slide. Could end up pinned under a boulder for 100,000 years, seems like a fate worse than death.

I wish I had free, limitless childcare any time I wanted it so I could do normal shit on my own terms

>>212407754 (OP)
I wish to double student debt

>>212407754 (OP)
>All men have the same dick size
>We live like the Victorian era but without the bad parts of that time
>Space exploration is possible right now

I wish all my offspring will be exact copies of me genetically.
I wish every woman in the world was pregnant with my quintuplets, all boys.
I wish abortion was impossible.

Shits about to get weird.

>>212409251
I imagine Hell is something like that. Constant pain and fear, feeling the panic of impending death forever. Yet never dying. Every thought a torment, every sensation a gut-wrenching injury. No understanding, no reason, no ability to change anything. Just suffering and misery for the duration of time itself.

I wish.

>>212407754 (OP)
I wish Pinocchio was a puppet.
I wish Ariel was a mackerel.
I wish Sleeping Beatuy had a crippling heroin addiction

>>212408921
I never said I didn’t want to die. Who wants to be an immortal, having watched countless civilizations come into being and then end, and still exist floating around alone in the black void, with nothing but black holes to keep you company?

I wish all wishes ever granted be undone.
I wish wishing was not possible anymore.
I wish you were free from your bottle. *evil grin*

>>212407754 (OP)
I wish all posts on /tv/ were PG. No slurs, gooning, violence, or movies/shows above a PG rating.
I wish /a/ only talked about dubbed anime.
I wish /b/ was SFW.

>>212410016
Even the black holes will ultimately collapse. At the end of the universe, it'll just be zero Kelvin, no light, no energy; nothing. As entropy causes all of what exists to stop. After that, who knows?

I wish 4chan never existed.
I wish apple (the company) never existed.
I wish I was back to September 2006 (as me then)with all my current knowledge.

>>212407754 (OP)
More work visas for indians
More women managers
Less government funding for white citizens

>>212410252
But your current knowledge will be useless in a vastly altered timeline.

I want to go back in time with a Star Wars script, the Final Fantasy source code, and all of Metallica's tabs.

>>212407754 (OP)
All doomers are banished to Madagascar.

>>212411342
I was in Madagascar recently, the place is amazing. So much east Asian, and European influence, some of the best food too.
Amazing nature.
rolling blackouts suck tho

I wish every human being was turned into a stickman/stickwoman.
I wish the only kind of entertainment in to world was, and ever was, kaleidoscopes.
I wish that everyone had a form of Tourette where they shout BARZALOO every 2 minutes.

I wish the ring had never come to me.

>>212411547
Wish granted.

>>212407754 (OP)
I wish I was a genie that is, and will forever be, free

>>212409422
holy epicsauce

>>212411843
Leave Sauron to me. I will peck the fleshy parts of his face like a delectable dish.

I wish to lose every single bet I make.

> I bet you $50 that some hot girl IS NOT going to walk through that door and demand to suck my dick
> (hot girl walks through door and demands to suck my dick)
> oh no, I lost another bet, here $50, sucks to be me

>>212407754 (OP)
>I wish that I remain in perfect health until I die in my sleep at the age of 100
>I wish that everyone in the world will do and give me anything I ask of them completely free for the rest of my life
>I wish that I have the ability to control time (pause it, fast forward, rewind, etc.) and nobody else can perceive it but I can move and act freely and touch and move things in the world without it being a problem, and this power includes the option to either travel through time as my current self or travel backward and forward in my own life and be whatever age I was then while I'm there.

>>212411890
>you are turn into a genie named John Freeman and have to spend eternity in a bottle being the slave of everyone who rubs you against your will

>>212412003
Too easy a word to use without thinking. If you say 'I bet' just as a turn of phrase you're probably fucked.

how is this thread tv related?

I want the Zone to disappear

>>212407754 (OP)
Confidence
Drive
No mental illness

>>212412248
Aladdin, bitch.

>>212412313
Mankind is corrupt, humanity must be destroyed.

>>212407754 (OP)
1. I wish to be a more powerful magic-user than any character in fiction.
2. I wish to never grow old.
3. I wish for the ability to travel to different universes freely.

Honestly, 1 probably covers 2 and 3, but just to be safe.

>>212407754 (OP)
I wish the genie would interpret each wish according to my best interests and ask me if there's any ambiguity.

I wish the genie would always believe I have another wish left.

I wish OP's tastebuds were all instantly transplanted into his asshole.

>>212412123
It's only a bet if someone accept it.

I wish I was Kryptonian
I wish I could turn other mammals into Kryptonians if I want
I wish I was reborn into my body on my 18th birthday in the past with my Memories and Abilities

>>212407797
>>212407967
I would pick 11. That's when I started rejecting girls for autistic reasons. Life before that was painfully boring.

omniscience
omnipotence
two chicks at the same time

>>212409082
>nothing changes about the world except movies are worse now

>>212407754 (OP)

>Give me a time machine with the ability to return me back to my timeline whenever I want, so I can visit different periods of human history as a time-tourist.

>Give me a spaceship with the ability to travel faster than the speed of light, so that the entire Milky Way galaxy is within my reach.

>Give me the body I had when I was 20 years old.

I wish everyone in the universe including me was dead

I wish to go back in time and serve under Sir John Hawkwoods banner

I wish >>212413906 stopped being a faggot

I wish to retroactively create internet posts dated 2011 referencing Baskin Roberts so Bateman loses his shit.
Second wish is to do the same with JigC.
Third wish is to erase all sneedposters from existence.

>>212413906
This, but alive

I'd wish that all posts were sneedposts, including this one

>>212407797
>2006
>news headline: local 13 year old hanged himself
>on his body was a manifesto filled with unrecognisable buzzwords that linguistics are currently trying to interpret

>>212414753
With three wishes you should give yourself some sort of superpower in addition to sending your mind to the past so you could do superman shit as a five year old or whatever

>>212414638
Cringe, unfunny, forced, dead, discordtranny meme, rajesh
>>212414499
This

I don't know what the other two would be, but one wish would be: I don't want a finite amount of money that can eventually run out, I want the ability to always have the amount of money I need for any given purchase. I'm buying a candy bar? I have the two bucks I need. I'm buying a mansion? I have the ten million dollars I need.

>>212407754 (OP)
Give me miracle powers so can be God.
The first thing I'd do is vaporize that genie.

>nuke india
>bring india back
>nuke india

Omnipotence.

Ability to jump to any moment in my life at will, or after death.
Ability to shapeshift.

I'm now immortal and can create branching timelines with any initial step I want, and am free of any consequences and can fuck around however I want in an endless playground. I'll save the last wish to kill myself with after I get bored in a trillion years.

>>212418533
Why not live long enough to witness the end of the universe?

>>212418584
Sounds boring. I feel like I'd only enjoy life as long as there are other people to fuck with. Plus the longer you go, the greater your risk of running into an ayy lmao genie who fucks you up, if you're just messing with earth over a few hundred years you've got good odds.

>>212407754 (OP)
>There are no infinite wishes
We'll see about that, towelhead
>I wish eternal and unbreakable pain and torment upon you
>I wish for a loving kitsune wife
>Whoops, guess you'll need to figure out how to give me more wishes if you ever want reprieve :^)

Omnipotence and omniscience. I need nothing else. Then I can make my own wishes.

>>212419134
Omnipotence yes, omniscience is too fucked up. You would instantly become something else, not yourself. What's the point.

>>212407754 (OP)
Immortality
Super-speed
Invisibility

>>212419184
To leave humanity behind

1) proof of God's existence
2) more seeds on PirateBay for the first album of Jens Lekman
3) her. Sara. its always been you.

>>212409052
The cumbrains have arrived

>>212407754 (OP)
1. Better artistic skills.
2. Better Tech Skills.
3. The Genie’s freedom

>>212407754 (OP)
I would wish for a roc’s egg and see if the Genie gets pissed.