Thread 212551466

Listen up.

I'm not like these other clowns out here, alright? I burn local.
I’m talkin’ hand-split oak from Jerry’s Backyard Timber Lot off Route 17. Not some big box, mass-produced, chemically-soaked, pre-cut, shrink-wrapped pine nonsense, man. That ain’t me. That’s not how I was raised.

I got a guy, alright? I got a firewood guy. He’s got rough hands, drinks coffee from a Thermos that smells like diesel fuel, and he calls me "boss" even though I tell him not to. That’s real. That’s authentic.

And I don’t burn in no prefab fire pit you get from a catalog, okay? I built mine. With my own two hands.
...And a Task Rabbit named Caleb. But I supervised. I supervised hard. I was out there. Gloves on. Patagonia fleece zipped halfway up. Grinding.

You ever start a fire in the rain?
No? Then don’t talk to me about struggle.
I was out there last Thursday. Drizzle. 63 degrees. No wind cover. I still lit that match. You think you know pressure? Try igniting damp kindling with artisanal strike-anywheres while a date watches from the porch with a glass of chilled Tempranillo.

I’m not out here for clout, alright? I’m not burning for the 'Gram.
I don’t need no fire-filter. This ain’t about aesthetics. This is about honor.
This is about grit. This is about being a real one.

You think I post my firewood stack online?
Hell no. That stack’s for me.
It’s crooked, yeah. A little wobbly. But it’s honest. It’s built with love. And with the help of my landscape architect, Ron, who honestly gets me.

I don’t need to prove nothin’ to nobody.

So yeah. I burn local.
Because real recognize real.
And if that makes me different?
Then maybe the rest of y’all are just cold.

>>212551466 (OP)
What’s a local burner to a shot caller?

fuck off

How this whiny jew ever convinced the common retard he's a tough guy still boggles the mind

I'm tired, I'm gonna go take a nap

>>212551466 (OP)
>Yeah I burn local
you a real one

>>212551555
you are not a real one

>>212551555
WHY’S HE STILL SLEEPING

FULL NIGHT’S REST

WHOLE WORLD’S MOVING

WHY’S HE STILL SLEEPING

>>212551531
>jon bernthal genocides a trillion goys with films
>gets away with it 100%, never suffers any consequences
>lives to a tender old age before passing peacefully in bed surrounded by wealth and power like Kissinger and co.
>meanwhile, thousands of Palestinians die screaming daily
Where is Allah?

having a low hairline doesn't make you interesting or worth watching on a television screen

Sup

All I know is he has a 15 inch cock according to Pete Davidson

>>212551776
>shot caller genocides a trillion local burners with naps
>gets away with it 100%, never suffers any consequences
>lives to a tender old age before passing peacefully during a nap surrounded by wealth and power like Bottles and co.
>meanwhile, thousands of Real Ones die rubbing their head daily
Where is Big B?

>>212551466 (OP)
>le tough guy jew
I WILL freeze global and this manlet neanderthal can't do shit about it

>>212551466 (OP)
>Thermos that smells like diesel fuel, and he calls me "boss" even though I tell him not to. That’s real. That’s authentic.

SAY MY NAME

>>212552406
BIG WORKER

>>212551555
REAL TAKE
ONES NAPS

>>212551555
We have a problem here whiteboy?

What are you gonna do now big guy

I just woke up from a nap. What’s going on, fellow burn localers?

AYO ODDIE, YO, COME HERE, MASKYOUSUMITHIN ODDIE

>>212552624
burnlocosissies... not like this...

>>212552406
Let’s go. Call the shot.

>>212551466 (OP)
and he was a good friend.

What exactly is wrong with not burning locally

I mean as a burn local chad I understand that freezing global is in direct opposition to our aim.

But to burn non-locally? If I burn in the next town over? What’s so wrong with that?

Just something about the scripture of Big B that I struggle with. Please set me on the right path, fellow burners.

I really, really hope Jonny B knows about all these goofs. I bet it would tear him up inside.

>>212552406
Hi, Big Worker. I'm Shot Caller

>>212552725
Lame Burner? You're not burning local?

>>212552975
I don't think so, Glasses Burner

>>212552406
gimme big keisterer

>>212553018
Lil Lighter KWAB

>>212553031
i called the shots but they didnt pick up, its over for me

why you counting sheep with that toad?

>>212551466 (OP)
>AYY RICK HOW YOU GON PROTECC LORRIE AND CARL
>*proceeds to do something retarded out of spite that puts everyone’s lives in danger*

>>212552975
>>212553018
>they think they’re calling the shots here

>>212552406
Prison names are fucking retarded. Just use your real name, lol. What is this dress-up fantasy world roleplaying bullshit?

>>212553087
I can see why you would think them stupid, Green Punk.

>>212551693
I still have no idea what it means

>>212553137
burn more, youll learn soon enough

>>212552406
Local Burner

>>212553174
You can’t call that shot, glasses holder.

You might have singlehandedly killed this meme here

>>212553174
You better know your place Glasses Holder. No more shotcalling from you.

>>212552406
Anything but Local Burner

>>212552406
I call.

>>212552406
8)

>>212551466 (OP)
burn local is an anagram for I burn coal

hell yeah

>>212552406
lets get down, wood

>>212551466 (OP)
AYO JON B ,HERE YALLAL MAKING FUN OF MY LIFE HEH ? MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE YA OUT TO TEACH YOU WHAT GROWN MAN CAN DO TO YOUR ASS

>>212552406
Big nigger pls

this is another sharty forced meme isn't it?
somehow I can just tell by how it's gay and ugly

>>212551486
Based anon who put in the work for the wood pile.

>>212552030
LEMMETELLYOUSUMPTIN

>>212551466 (OP)
He made up a story about nearly killing someone by punching them I stopped liking him after that

>>212553427
It's probably some zoomer faggot who told all his friends about "le epic meme" and now they're killing the shit out of it with these threads. It's so forced.

>>212553427
>>212553514
>t. toads who could never put in the work

Burn-Enthol
Burn-Local
Burn-Low-Cal
I get it...I finally get it
I FINALLY GET IT!!!!!

>>212552406
monkey pox

>>212553565
>big b never got to finish his PENIS tattoo on his throat :(

>>212552406
rollin for shank nigger

>>212551466 (OP)
>rubs head
>ay yo lemmask you somethin' rick
>you burn local?

>>212552406
rollin

>>212553848
Sup Key Lighter, you ready to make money?

>*sniff sniff*
>Hey!!! Myasku somthin… what the fuck are you burning over there!?!
>Oh its just a campfire, I brought some firewood from my cabin up north…
>Ay that shit ain’t fucking local! We only burn local round here. In fact, if you weren’t some out of town asshole I’d shove a stake up your ass and burn you right here, cuz I ONLY burn local motherfucker!

>>212551776
TY, very cool, protocols of elders of zion

>>212552406
Call me Big Cheese

Tell me about your baby /tv/

>>212552406
money burner checkin in

>>212553565
Is that the guy from Burn Notice?

>>212555122
Jon only agreed to work with him if Burn Notice was filmed local.

>>212551466 (OP)
>>212551763
greatest /tv/ thread of all time

Found an old photo of Big B from the war. The more I learn about how he grew up on the streets of Russia, joining the army and spending time in prison the more I realize he's just a flawed man like the rest of us. He tries his best but at the end of the day we all have our demons. There's no actor I respect more than Jon Bernthal

*dons tapout shirt and burns local and never ever smiles*

>>212552875
Ever hear of emerald ash borer? Or maybe Asian gypsy moths? Go back to New York Mr. Gucci loafers

>>212555468
I saw Jon at the hardware store the other week. He was sipping a craft beer pushing a cart full of local firewood when some flyover dickhead came in saying he was in a camping trip with his huge RV, demanding wood. He didn't notice, but as soon as he said the "firewood", Jon, from the other side of the store, turned to him like a sleeper agent activated.
The clerk was showing the republican asshat the firewood as Jon walked behind them. The MAGAbrain didn't even notice Jon at his six. Everyone else in the store realized what was happening and froze in place. The guy went "I don't want this shitty California firewood, give me the imported stuff. It's cheaper and it'll burn just fine".

The clerk, visibly aghast, could not utter a word. It was like a classroom noticing the teacher behind a mischievous student. The Trump supporter realized something was awry and turned - straight into Jon's burning line of sight. Before he could utter a word...

*twack* *punt* *thud*

That's all I heard. Jon, with one hand, simply took the bundle of imported red state wood from the fool, now slumped unconscious on the store floor. He started slowly coming to as Jon leaned on the counter and asked, "Let me ask you somethin. You think, you think you can just walk in here like that, buy that cheap non-sustainably sourced wood form out of state, and light it up here? That's what you think?. Nah, big dawg. If you ain't burning local, you ain't burnin shit. Got me?". The red state pussy looked up and nodded like a dog at attention, realizing he was in the "find out" phase of FAFO. He scrambled to his feet and bolted from the store to the refuge of his RV without a word. I assume he high-tailed it back to whatever white trash state he came from.

>>212553565
Just realized they have a chopper and a ripper.

>>212552406

go

>>212552406
Callin'

>>212552406
put respect on my name niggers

>>212551466 (OP)
>So yeah. I burn local.
As an International Freezer, who cares.

>>212555854
>>212556735
Local Holder and Shot Burner huh, I can respect that.

>>212556771
WHAT IS THAT

HUH

WHAT IS THAT

>>212552406
Shotcaller here
This whole thread is greenlit

>>212556793
THAT'S RIGHT FAGGOT

FREEZE INTERNATIONAL HERE, DEAL WITH IT PUSSY!

>>212556834
>Shotcaller
You're an obvious Holder, liar

>>212552406
Rolling

>>212557856
Back to work, Local Worker.