Thread 212666671

The distortus rex corners you, how do you escape?

be black like the colored boat pilot in the flick

>>212666671 (OP)
distortus dick

>>212666671 (OP)
crawl away since its so fukin slow lol!

>>212666671 (OP)
get into a helicopter and fly away because its clearly not big enough to destroy a helicopter

>>212666671 (OP)
I hide at the gym (he works out at the library)

I’m trying to imagine being 10 years old again and I just don’t think I would ever think this thing looked “cool.” The baluga whale shaped head and the redundant tiny arms just look ridiculous

>>212666671 (OP)
Firstly, I'd establish a telepathic link with it.

>>212666671 (OP)
Giantess Scarlet Growhansson shows up and picks the D-Rex up refusing to let go giving me time to escape

>>212667035
Note the smooth bulbous head.

>>212666671 (OP)
I hide for 5 minutes under a rock (it can only have 3 minutes on screen)

>>212667035
I then ask her to take me instead.

>>212666671 (OP)
"Distortus" Rex??

>>212667105
Based. She throws the D-rex off into the horizon, crushes that shitty Mexican family under her feet and cradles you in her arms then the credits roll

>>212666671 (OP)
>make a dinosaur with encephalitis
The jew golems are getting out of hand

>>212666671 (OP)
I know they made it just to sell awful toys but in the story why the fuck is this thing alive? They had literally zero reason to keep it and not euthanize it since they couldn't even display it in the park
Not only did they have to fucking feed this kaiju sized carnivore that probably eats 6 times the amount of a t.rex but they made a whole facility just to contain it, the tax write-off excuse in the movie doesn't justify this fucking money sink of a mutant

>>212667160
Distort her? I hardly know her.

>what if dinosaur but Cloverfield
Quick, someone give this man a raise

>>212666671 (OP)
Look at my diverse colleagues and push them in front of me towards the dinosaur because I am a privileged white male and its not my place to take control of this situation.
So I would quietly slip out the back while my diverse and intelligent colleagues figure this out.

>>212667005
I think the initial idea was that they didn't want it to be cool but to look misshapen and malformed but later down the line the higher ups said "we need to sell toys" and they toned it down

>>212666671 (OP)
plead for my life

>>212666671 (OP)
It's a really shitty design but honestly that toy does it dirty still

>>212667257
It's just a t.rex reskin of his black Cloverfield ripoff monsters from Godzilla 2014

>>212667662
The real question is why it makes women horny. I really don't get it.

>>212667683
The fuck

>>212666671 (OP)
Enough with this DEI bullshit already, now we have to have dinosaurs with Down syndrome?

>>212667035
>Let me go mommy!

>>212667185
>credits music as we walk into the sunset.
https://youtu.be/fjbok4ohhKw?si=ZT1YX0bcJXtt3R6p

>>212666671 (OP)
I wouldn't do anything. I'd listen, which is what nobody else did.

Distortus Rex sounds like George Lucas came up with the name

>>212668104
A perfect happy ending

>>212667035
h-hot

>>212668104
Kino

>>212666671 (OP)
they did it. They made sorasaurus real

>>212666671 (OP)
Am I crazy or does this thing have three arms

>>212666671 (OP)
I'd pull out one of those velociraptor resonation chamber whistles that Grant uses at the end of JP3. Big mommy raptor Scar Grow shows up with her pack of smaller submissive male raptors. I blow into the chamber again to make her and the pack kill the D-rex

THEY AINT EVEN DINOSAURS ANYMORE

>>212666671 (OP)
>what if T Rex... but with a retard head and bigger arms
wow, very scary and creative

>>212667222
>why the fuck is this thing alive?
It's JurassicDinoslop. They have to make some "new" retard dino. They're no good "reason."

>>212667222
Its such an ugly design too

>>212667222
They used him as a test subject for genitically enhanced Chilises and Seabasses

>>212670640
The retard faggot mongoloid nepobaby director unironically thinks people don't care about dinosaurs anymore

>>212671041
It's not ugly enough, they needed to go all in on the fact that it's a fuck up and make it way more disfigured, if anything it looks way too clean

>>212666671 (OP)
I call in the final boss of Jurassic Park.

>>212672598
My FUARKING hero....

>>212667527
Is that it's mating spike or a tail?

>>212671041
should be uglier like another anon said. they said in the movie that the creatures were so ugly that people couldn't even look at them or something along those lines.