Is being 36 really this grim?

>>212942116 (OP)
It’s grim before then

>>212942116 (OP)
Only if you go bald.

Yeah by that time you're supposedly neck deep in a career you can't get out of and have insane living costs like renting an apartment or a mortgage or whatever to keep up with, also if you're dating at that age women care a lot more about your salary to the point that your entire value as a human being is tied up with it.
I'm not chasing this tail.

>>212942116 (OP)
Only if you’re a 4chan thread poster—
Oops. Better luck next time, OP!

>>212942133
If you look like this at 36 all you should be thinking about is suicide.

>>212942283
he probably looked just about the same at 16, this guy is an accumulation of centuries of dysgenic breeding

>>212942235
It's not bad. I'm making about 70gs with a GED. I have a girlfriend and enjoy the work I do (Work as a datacenter tech in AZ). Yours 20s should be for hopping jobs till you find something you're decent at, then the 30s for refining that career. It's not crazy hard.

>>212942116 (OP)
Depends.
I think reality hits dreamers harder than people who never had them in the first place.

If your goal in life was getting a 9-5, marry your high school sweatheart and have 3 kids, then it's just more of the same shit you've been doing since age 20.

If you had lofty ideas about how your life was going to turn out and you perhaps spent a bit too much time in imaginationland instead of reality, you're going to hit a wall and you're going to hit it hard.

For some people, having "potential" becomes a large part of their identity. These people like to have alot of possibilites open for them, but when you hit 30, you're no longer a young guy with alot of potential, you're a squandered potential to whom which alot of doors slam shut in rapid succesion.

Some just wants to be part of something significent, create something of importance, feel like their existence wasnt wasted. Hitting 30-35 is around the time you realise your life is going to be as mundane and boring as your parents. It's when the last remnants of your dreams die.

>>212942312
If you can't bother to capitalize your writings you shouldn't bring up subjects like "dysgenic breeding," unless you want to come across as a moron.

>>212942116 (OP)
>Is being 36 really this grim?
I'm 35 and I'm just thrilled to have a career and family after being a NEET from 21 to 28

>>212942283
Why would he do that? He's a famous actor and not even transsexual.

>>212942116 (OP)
No, I'm currently 36 and it has been pretty great.
>>212942496
I wasn't a neet but I was pretty lonely and in a dead-end job for most of my twenties. Now things have turned around for me like this anon. Hang in there, OP.

>>212942116 (OP)
I'm 35 and all I think about is how much time I have left with my elderly parents. I'm probably going to kill myself after they pass.

>>212942235
Generally accurate.
I feel the part about being in the career rut. Fortunately, I like my job well enough. My living expenses are really very manageable, so no stress there. I am single by choice, though. Just not many good prospects, and im a bit of a weird schizoid I guess. But my "type" is fit, pleasant women with masters degrees. So thats a tall order and I don't know if my job is able to fill it.

>>212942116 (OP)
If you're poor you think about money at 16

>>212942392
Okay, bucko.

>>212942116 (OP)
Just wait til you hit 40.

i'm 40 and a failure and i feel alright

nothing matters

>>212943522
I do think there's some truth to the wizard meme. Like at a certain point it just doesn't hurt anymore and its just how things are

>>212942116 (OP)
Im 36 and when i was 21 I was literally the cliche pathetic neet living on mom's tendies. College dropout, fat, depressed, stayed in my room all day either browsing 4chan, playing computer games, watching anime, or looking at porn. Turned my life around bit by bit, and now 15 years later I'm a lawyer with a really good job where I make a lot of money and feel like im making a difference.

So I definitely think being 36 is great as long as you aren't bald.

>28
>Put 120k in Bitcoin

If I get another bullrun I can retire by 35

>>212942392
>that gif
Why would you say that in a room with multiple millionaire rock stars

>>212942116 (OP)
I'm 37 and I easily have 1.5x as much hair as that guy

>>212943709
Because the target audience are edgy teenage boys who wont notice that.

>>212943709
Actors are not their characters. I don't get why so many dumb-dumbs do not grasp this.

>>212943613
And he's a famous actor but he's bald?

>>212942116 (OP)
try 40

>>212943363
just need a painless way. someone suggest some

>>212943624
You could turn that into at least 205k if you just put it into the S&P 500

>>212944192
become a tranny and take HRT and the rest follows naturally.

>>212943613
how did you turn your life around

>>212943966
It's just a hairstyle they gave him for the movie so he looks bald, along with the makeup to make him look pale. IRL he looked like chad.

>>212944228
My guess is he started taking finasteride which gave him erectile dysfunction so he couldn't jerk off to anime all day anymore.

>>212942116 (OP)
I turned 38 yesterday. It was very depressing anons. I’m old. I feel old. I have a wife and kid, which is great, but it feels like time is in fast forward now. Every time I talk with the zoomer coworkers I have I feel even older. Out of touch. Part of me doesn’t care, but part of me feels like slipping through my fingers one day at a time.

>>212944250
That's the guy from The Princess Bride? Nope.

>>212942235
>ummm a wife and family? Property? Procreation? No thanks. I’ve got my cat, my vidya games, my social media and my burgeoning BMI thankyouverymuch.

i never really found anything i could do as a career and wasted my 20s trying to be a programmer but failing and now I can't even get a fucking job because of how badly i did and i picked this career over other potential interests mostly because i figured it was hireable. i wish i could've made a living as a songwriter, as making music on my guitar through fl studio is one of the few things that i enjoy the process of doing.

>>212944411
The guy who wrote the Jack Reacher books, Lee Childs, didn’t write his first book until he was 39. You can still do it anon.

>>212942485
newest of faggots
>>>/r/eddit

>>212942116 (OP)
I live for the collapse. I want to see the terror.

I'm 36 and all I think about is sex and death.

>>212943613
I mean it doesn't sound like you actually enjoy these things if you couldn't do them while bald, so I guess it's just a wagie cope.

>>212944228
1. Family was supportive but forceful. Parents put me in cognitive behavioral therapy and refused to allow me to quit when it got hard. Brother refused to let me move in with him when I was mad at my parents. After a few months on meds, and 6 months of therapy my depression was greatly reduced and I came off meds and could stop therapy.
2. dropped my resistance to working. Therapist insisted getting a day job was important for my mental health because it would get me out of the house and give my days structure. Worked a lot of shit wagie jobs but eventually became a security guard for a year then my parents suggested I go to EMT school to see if I was ready to go back to college, since it's a college level class. Instead decided to work as an EMT and did that for a few years.
3. Realized over time how much I love history, and decided to finish my degree while continuing to work as an EMT part time
4. Got my degree, took as many civil service exams as I qualified for, and it landed me a do nothing bureaucrat job in regulatory enforcement with my state government
5. did that for a few years but I didn't have the right cop mentality to write small businesses $10k tickets over nonsense, and decided I didn't want to be a drone for the rest of my life barely working but not accomplishing anything either, so I figured the best way to advance my career was to go to law school
6. Worked hard in law school, got good grades, which led to good internships and a job at a big national firm where I work hard and make a lot of money

I'm an overnight success 15 years in the making.

>>212944451
that's good to hear that sort of thing happening. i wouldn't mind just being a ghostwriter for someone, i can self record as much as I want now, and i can only get better at my instrument playing, singing, and lyric writing ability.

>>212944411
>i wish i could've made a living as a songwriter, as making music on my guitar through fl studio is one of the few things that i enjoy the process of doing.
what's stopping you?

>>212944472
Cringe. You can’t even take care of yourself yet you think you’re going to enjoy being starved and then murdered/raped? Delusions of a perpetual loser kek “I’ll show them!!” high school shit.

>>212944511
So basically your parents were rich and bought you all these things?

>>212944538
have no idea how to go about that, it's a lot of competition for an ever increasing number of employment oppurtunities (even now, I see more and more AI generated songs) and I get most of the pleasure out of making music already. I already wrote and recorded two (admittedly kinda amateurish) albums, and I'm coming up with enough material for a third, which at the current point in time, will be an abstract concept album about songs that try to capture brief moments of time. I want to make the songs short and haiku-like. Like i already have everything i need to be happy making the music, i just don't have a job i like doing to get the funding and i can't really do the career i set out to do.

>>212944411
As long as you don’t waste all your time online you’ve got a shot. You can’t make anything of yourself if you just throw away your remaining youth/good years rotting in front of a screen. Hard to get your “10,000 hours” in if you’re pissing it away on trivial distractions.

>>212944623
no, my parents are middle class and they sacrificed a lot to help me back on my feet. I'm glad my parents are the kind that would never kick their kid out at 18 or spend their college fund on a boat. They believe in supporting their children and keeping the family together.

I don't wanna die,
but I don't know how to live

>>212942392
>If your goal in life was getting a 9-5, marry your high school sweatheart and have 3 kids,
the average person doesnt even achieve that now

>>212944664
>>212944511
That’s good to hear and not just that your parents/family supported you but also that they didn’t take your shit and fall into enabling and accommodating you. I feel like it’s rare for someone to truly turn their life around especially if they’ve fallen into the chicken tendies/incel/depression pit.

My brother was/is like this. My parents helped as much as they could but it was mostly accommodating and in the end he’s still just a big spoiled kid who missed key social development milestones. Of course he thinks he’s the smartest person in the room and has all the answers.

>>212942283
If your will to live is based on your appearance you should be thinking about suicide right now, fatty.

>>212942220
nah, it's pretty grim either way

>>212942116 (OP)
If you look like that yea

>>212944764
Should have just spent the therapy money on bitcoin.

>>212942116 (OP)
35 male here. Honestly its the first time in my life I aint constantly grinding to survive. My need are met and I can finally explore the things I've wanted to do all my life. I finally can explore art and literature. Currently reading(or listening to) all the other H.P. Lovecraft stories I never read. Still easing into the dream quest shit. I only listen to audio book versions when painting. Most of the time I paint silly miniatures like d&d shit or Warhammer crap but I've explored sculpting and canvas painting a little which I definitely intend to. When me and my friends are all free we have also been trying to build a bike.

Dont listen to the Jews trying to get you to give up and kill yourself. You're the biggest threat to them. An independent free mind. Especially a happy independent free mind. I promise the older you get the easier it gets. Or at least should.

>>212944511
reading this just makes me want to end everything. end it all. there's no way I could do half of this.
I just don't wanna hurt my family, but it's basically over. I'm not young enough to do most of this stuff, health isn't the best, don't have resources for anything. can barely afford rent or food. no time.
I'm glad you made it. I couldn't.

>>212944192
pay a hitman to kill you

>>212944819
>Dont listen to the Jews trying to get you to give up and kill yourself.
That's 4chan. No jew has ever been this demoralizing.

>>212944661
yeh i kinda have been doing that ever since i got fired, with only the music thing i was talking about being the thing keeping me going. me going to work every day, trying to socialize, trying to talk to women (and getting ghosted), going to the gym, all yielded no results really, and I know i did something wrong, but i feel like i wasted that time regardless. i gave it a shot and i know i didn't do it right, but those opportunities passed me by and i have nothing but regrets to show for it. i've been writing in my diary and i look at a short story that I wrote 13 years ago for a college application and i kinda like rereading it now. I'm working on my song lyrics now, but i'm thinking of taking some of those songs and turning them into short stories, or turning stories i have into songs, or writing story songs.

>>212944819
it's hard not to. when you don't have much of a future or a career. when you don't have much family or friends. when you're barely getting by.
not waking up would be freeing.

>>212942392
>For some people, having "potential" becomes a large part of their identity. These people like to have alot of possibilites open for them, but when you hit 30, you're no longer a young guy with alot of potential, you're a squandered potential to whom which alot of doors slam shut in rapid succesion.

describes me perfectly. got the fancy degree and everything. ended up in trades. will die alone but whatever, I have shekels and live prettty well.

>>212944833
Even being a hobo ain't so bad, you get used to it eventually. Is there no place in the world that could accomodate you and are you sure?

>>212944858
being an artist sometimes is the biggest curse that could even happen to someone. I wish I could have wanted to be a lawyer or engineer or a cop or detective or something. but the universe saw it fit that I would have art in my veins, which obviously led to a wasted life basically. decades of nothing to show for it. art that no one cares about.
truly a worthless existence.

>>212944511
what did cognitive behavioral therapy do and how did it work?

>>212944951
I honestly do not ever understand how hobos don't kill themselves. I really really don't get it.

>>212945012
Well the initial transition would certainly hurt, but after you get acclimated there's just nothing like a fruitful day of panhandling you know.

>>212944511
>>212944664
>I'm glad my parents are the kind that would never kick their kid out at 18
haha, im gonna mention this story to my dad and his gonna repeat how it was all my fault because i wouldnt obey his commands

>>212944858
It’s all about exposure therapy. Just keep going outside and touching grass, talking to people, being out there. There is at least a none-zero probability that good opportunities (social, relationships, employment, networking) can come your way if you continuously interact with different people. If you sit behind a screen…. Not so much.

You should make this time count. For example have a disciplined work routine: force yourself to write for a set period everyday. You can’t just continue to drift otherwise you’ll be 40 and wondering where the time went and why things didn’t work out. You need to be passionate and ambitious and when those feelings are absent you need to rely on pure discipline to keep going. Don’t reread some short story you wrote 10+ years ago, write more. Raymond Chandler sat in front of the typewriter for four hours until lunch: he either wrote or didn’t write but he didn’t leave and he didn’t get distracted or procrastinate. Do something like this so you'll develop and hone skills not just think “I wish I….”

>>212942116 (OP)
No. Each year I only get smarter but more importantly wiser which is more valuable than that. The issue is the physical aspect of aging, mentally you are more in tune with yourself and your worldview.
There's a saying that youth is wasted on the young and it's unfortunately true. I look back at my younger self and I usually cringe.

>>212942116 (OP)
I'm 28 and it's feeling pretty bad. I'm either taking the benzos I get tomorrow and quitting alcohol so I can away from my family or I'll mix them so I can die or get myself killed by police.

>>212945012
They have a degree of freedom that would be great once you release yourself from attachments, comforts, expectations and so on. I wouldn’t like that life but if you got used to it and didn’t want much more it would be okay.

>>212945012
one tried to jump in front of a train right by my house

>>212945089
Fuck don’t go on benzos. Just quit alcohol don’t get hooked on something else with horrible addictive and withdrawal properties

>>212942220
It's only an issue if you let it get to your head (pun intended)

>>212945089
I felt like shit at 28 and much better at 30. In 2 years I could feel like shit again. Point is, everything's temporary.

>>212942116 (OP)
>being a liberal
>getting a dead end liberal job like journalism
>being near broke for the rest of your gay life
Kek

>>212945057
No retard, you go outside, nothing happens, nobody approaches you. You need a job=money=independence, and then you need psychological independence, caring about what others think is always what keeps them from communicating and wishing and hoping the publishing company or whatever needs you it's just not the way it is and neither does anyone actually need them for anything.

>>212945247
lol no. This is the equivalent of a permavirgin telling me how relationships and sex work. You are speaking about something you know nothing about.

>>212944951
>>212945057
feel like the universe cursed me,
it cursed me by making me a night owl, always up all night, while the rest of the world sleeps,
get horrible night terrors if I try to sleep at night but peaceful sleep during the day. ( pills didn't work)
it cursed me by making me introverted. talking to people is exhausting. I'm not shy but I prefer quiet.
it cursed me by making me an artist. can't make money out of that. is useless.
God hurt me when he put all of this love, He placed in me when there's no one I
Can turn to with this love.
God hurt me. when he made me.

>>212942116 (OP)
If you’re
>not rich, or not financially stable enough to plan, save, and contribute to retirement
>basically unable to save after all living expenses
>balding
>generally unhealthy (alcoholic, abused drugs, overweight or obese, chronic illness like back pain)
>nothing else that makes up for all of the above
Then yeah it can be pretty grim. But that applies to virtually all stages of life

>>212945318
Millions of people are identical to this. Your primary issue is lack of self-confidence and belief in yourself. The issue is that if you're not your own fan, no one else will be either.

>>212944958
yeh it kinda fucking is, i remember wishing i was one of those people who got excited solving complicated problems and stuff but it just seemed boring. making my albums was the first time i truly felt proud of something i made and i liked having a project i could work on and get an idea for and add to the existing project. i like how much i can add from stuff i encounter in my day to day life, stuff from my past, imaginations of the future, thinking about others' live in the past (I've been reading Plutarch's Lives recently, some of the less famous ones these days).

>>212945057
yeh you're right, i've started heading outside again, i went to some chess club meetings lately and started to recognize some faces there. i also went to a bar (I like to drink lol) and i sing karoake there, and i met some of the people that live upstairs and had some good convos.

And you're right about that set routine, i'll give that a shot. I'll write some free verse about someone who hit 40 and wondered where the time went lmao. That's the thing i like about creating, even if the stuff i make turns out shit, the process itself is invigorating. Having a set daily schedule should be ok to do, i'll block out some time tomorrow to write a 1 to 2 page story about the aforementioned subject. Thank you for the suggestion.

>>212942116 (OP)
There is a pasta, blue board, op pic is rust from td series, talking about getting older and not getting it together. 30+ is simply "doom".
I was 20 something when I first saw it, and went "yeah sure". Then I turned 30.

It's truth.

>>212945012
I don't understand why they would, but then it's always been my favorite thing in the world to just travel with no attachments, not like to beach resorts or exotic foreign countries but just anywhere, random places.

>>212944833
depression sucks anon. how old are you?
I know its hard but you need means to regulate your bad feeings. exercising daily can be one such means. I know its overstated, but its true. the only time i wasnt anxious or miserable as a teen was when i was out of breath from working out.

>>212942235
Idk man. I bought my house while in college. Simply dont have shit credit and you can pull it off. Or worst case scenario, get a roommate. Have someone help you pay your mortgage for you.

>BUT I WANT TO BE AN ARTIST AND JUST STRUM STRUM ON MY GUITAR AND HAVE FUN WHOLE DAY MY WHOLE LIFE
well idk buddy maybe grow up maybe pick actual job as your life path maybe then you won't be so miserable

>>212942283
I’m not even talking about looks just crushing soul sucking life does to you.

How much are you even supposed to have saved up by 36? 200k?

>>212945362
I don't hate myself. at all. I'm my own friend. I really don't. I like myself.
but really, being introverted ( not shy) is a curse. I can talk, is just so, banal. small talk is worthless. it's so pointless.
I love being quiet and listening. talking takes so much energy. and then subjects are so limited when you don't know the person.
being an artist is truly one of the worst wastes of a life on earth. specially with ai now.
a wasted existence. introverted ruined my life.

>>212945420
Pretty much everyone in the world would love to do that and get paid, but then think supply and demand.

>>212944819
same age, neet for 10+ years. depressed. no friends no connections no memories just ragretz.
it never gets easier or better unless you make it

>>212944511
happy for you, I didn't have any support whatsoever. what's your advice for me?
endless chatgpt sessions have led me to believe its the combo of being introverted, depressed and having ADHD that makes me unable to clean my appartment, turn off my computer and get my life together.

>>212945285
No, people do not approach random people outside "touching grass" for (social, relationships, employment, networking) oppurtunities, it literally never happens. You are just trying to feel good about yourself for being lucky.

>>212942116 (OP)
no it's not even that grim in your 50s

I'm almost 29 and I feel 30 creeping up on me fast. When I was younger I had big dreams about going to a music school and becoming a composer for film scores. At a certain point I gave up on that and decided it was unrealistic because my family isn't wealthy and because as decent as I am on guitar I can't seem to find the motivation to write a complete song for shit. Then, I figured I might try and find something else I could do in the music field, but eventually I just gave up altogether. Now I just work a shitty remote job that lets me help my mom out with rent. I had hoped to at least to have a normal 9-5 with a wife and kids one day but then I lost my girlfriend of 5 years and now I'm just at my lowest point. I'm thinking about teaching guitar to get me out of the house and earn some extra cash but all of my real aspirations have completely evaporated.

>>212945392
everyone has a life calling, when your little, you wanna be a cop or a doctor or a firefighter, or a detective or a chef or whatever.
being an artist by heart is basically a punishment. I swear.

>>212945420
no I got a dead end job, a worthless job. meaningless. low paying
I just envy people that had a good career for early on.
going to college for art fucked me for life.

dean from waiting was right.

i have an entry level job and it's truly a nightmare
you have to work extra hard for minimum wage. i've been saving my shekels and desu at this point i'm closer to giving up and NEETing for a few years rather then trying to get some qualifications

>>212942116 (OP)
Can't remember much... Been a while.

>>212942116 (OP)
I'm 40 and my hair is very clearly thinning, it's ironically over for me.

No one can even guess my nationality if I don't tell em. Not really relevant, it's just one more thing.

>>212945610
time doesn't stop. it keeps moving. your health will deteriorate.

eat healthy. watch your weight,
do not eat fast food, meat and chicken are ok. avoid bread, avoid fried stuff. avoid soda.
take care of your teeth, regular cleanings.
do not wait. health is most important.
do your hobbies, teach your guitar, join a band. play music with others.

>>212945722
oof, you're like 1/2 nigger, 1/2 chink, and 1/2 spic?
if you lost some weight you might still have a few more worthwhile years

>>212945761
I take good care of myself. That's probably the only thing I have going for me at this point.

>>212945138
You are posting literally one of the most handsome men ever in film industry, no other bald guy looks as good as him.

Do you expect even 5% of all bald guys to look as good bald as Johnny Sins? Not even big hollywood names look good bald.

>>212945722
my hair is thinning too. it is what it is,
at least you look thin and you're good looking.

>>212945800
Not half anything, but lot of people still assume I'm some kind of mix.

>>212945852
what are you then? you have a nigger nose, chink eyes, and are vaguely yellow/brown with dark features. phillippeno?

>>212945852
you're not ugly. you look cool. I'm not being a suck up.

>>212945845
Thanks fren

>>212945818
He's an average looking dude with some muscle on. Have you seen him with hair? Nigga looked goofy as hell. A lot of men can pull off being bald as long as their head isn't deformed and they're not out of shape, but I'll agree hair is a useful crutch often.

>>212945869
he looks fine. you sound fat lol.

If you haven't started your family by 36 I can only imagine how suicidaly bleak every single day would seem

>>212945722
It's all bullshit, I know tons of incels with thicker hair and people who are literally bald who manage to be normies.

>>212945902
i didn't say he didn't. he claims hes mistaken for other things and i'm curious what he ackshually is

>>212945903
Only if a family is what you want. I have relatives with kids and I can tell for sure that it's not something I'm ready for it. It's rewarding but also very taxing.

>>212944889
>>212945501
>No friends, career, or anything worthwhile
The less you have means the less you have to lose and the more you have to gain. Sometimes it takes giving up a little comfort and security but I promise it's worth it. Sometimes it's as difficult as quitting your job for a new one. Sometimes it's as simple as swallowing your pride and going to some local group related to a hobby. My recommendation is look into climbing gyms(specifically bouldering types) or some kinda nerd shit like magic the gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh, or if ha hate card games dungeons and dragons or Warhammer tier shit. Those guys are desperate for friends(probably more desperate than you). I don't care much for card games but these are the easiest way to meet people. Especially tournaments. I love all my friends but a few are straight up losers by normie definitions but each I saw on the outskirts of whatever social event or job I had and I specifically sized them up and even groomed them into being nerds for shit I like. Hell I got straight up predatory about it with two of my closest friends I made in my adult life.

>>212945869
Ethnically Thai but raised on an American diet so I'm unusually large for my heritage (180 lbs, 6'1").

>>212945874
Man you're motivating me to start hitting the gym again.

Basically the day you work your first 9-5 is the day you actually die
I avoided it until I was 24, but since finally had to begin my career, it's all been downhill
It's a complete cope to think otherwise, but that first day is really the most monumental before vs after you will experience in your life

>>212945949
true stuff, but it's not sulking in self pity, or demoralizing, so it'll probably be ignored

>>212945722
I started losing my hair in my late 20s and now I’m in my late 30s and have receded hairline. It’s a shock at first but like everything you get used to it. It’s not the end of the world.

>>212945903
my cousin has a kid and she literally wants to kill herself. her husband verbally abused her, he's cheating on her, she decided to be a stay at home mom and she loves her baby boy but she's got no career, no prospects, nowhere to go. husband is a douche, he drinks,
she's literally stuck in a hellish relationship.

>>212944987
essentially it was about realizing that a lot of my depression was self-reinforcing. I remember my therapist would say "the three pillars of depression are the mindset that everything sucks, everything will always suck, and everything will never stop sucking" a lot of it is developing tools to recognize when you're self-reinforcing your depression and actively stop doing it. It was not easy, and I was resistant to it, but I was fortunate to have a good therapist who really challenged me. Not someone who just wanted to see me for 50 minutes a week where I could tell them about my day, and they'd just collect a paycheck for the rest of their career off me. My therapist was clear I was only going to be his patient for a limited time, and when I was feeling better I would stop.

The meds also helped. Was only on them for 3 months or so, but I remember it made my lows noticeably less low, and it gave me emotional breathing room to work with my therapist. I distinctly remember an experience shortly after starting meds where I'd watched some dumb youtube video about some cosplayers at an anime convention, and as I was riding on the bus to my therapist I thought about one of the jokes from it and it made me smile. I remember remarking about how that was the first time I'd just smiled at something because I thought it was funny since I dropped out of college and moved back with my parents, and recognized that must have been the meds helping to improve my mood, and the therapy giving me the mindfulness to recognize and then foster it.

>>212945965
I'd say it strongly depends on your working environment, coworkers and what you do in your free time. Still, being able to pay your bills autonomously brings a certain feeling of freedom with it, and past a certain age, neetdom can be more soul crushing.

>>212944764
I think part of it was that I recognized how fucked my life was. I was depressed, and when you're depressed it's hard not to be self-centered because you don't really think about how anyone else is feeling. But I wasn't one of the people who has that cope about how being a NEET is a good thing actually, and calls anyone with a job a wagecuck.

>>212945978
I'm already looking at products. I've become that vain old bastard.

>>212945996
So your only real problem was being addicted to jerking off to anime? You understand some people have real problems in life and no rich parents?

>>212946036
>Still, being able to pay your bills autonomously brings a certain feeling of freedom with it
>Being forced to work a job in order to pay your bills forced upon you is freedom
>neetdom can be more soul crushing
People only struggle with neetdom for as much as their imagination and creativity allows them to. If your soul is crushed because you don't have some faggot boss or company telling you what to do then you need to rethink your self

>>212945964
interdasting. so jungle azn

>>212945012
the drugs help

>>212945949
this is when people don't understand personality types or how hard it is to be introverted.
I really love your advice but you have no idea how hard it is to talk to people. not being afraid of talking but just the huge energy it takes.
that's kind of why it feels like an neverending problem. no solution.
there's no fucking way I could talk this much in real life with you. typing is easy,
talking takes all of my energy.

>>212945089
you'll just start vomiting and wake up in a hospital

>>212945578
If you socialize and put yourself out there in life you’ll exercise and strengthen your social muscles and become more at ease and adept at socializing with people, putting them at ease, making real connections, not being awkward and so on. More experiences also give you more anecdotes and stories, making you more interesting, while also incrementally increasing your self confidence. It’s all a positive feedback loop but you have to start somewhere, stick with it and not give up or think it’s a short game.

You have a very juvenile outlook and I don’t mean that as an insult but more of an observation. You likely never learned to share, compromise and play well with others and aren’t comfortable socially. You don’t have anything to offer people, even just a nice disposition or a friendly ear, so you can’t understand why being a moody, brooding, awkward man with uninteresting interests and a screen addiction hasn’t gotten you far in life. That’s a you problem and not indicative of how the world works for others. Nor does it disprove the fact that hard work, self improvement and human connections are important and advantageous in life.

There isn’t much more to say. I know how the conversation will go because I’ve met enough people like you who have never genuinely tried yet know everything and fully mapped out how people and the world work. I get it kek

>>212942116 (OP)
Why is he thinking about money when he's Rich?

>>212943363
I think about this too. My dad is nearly 70 so he's in the "could just die from heart attack/stroke out of the blue at the any point from now on" zone and mum's not far behind.

>>212945501
if you can, get a degree

>>212944494
Why are you such a loser

>>212942116 (OP)
For me, 36 was 9 years ago.
I was in the best shape of my life and had an extremely well paying job and my own place. I had regular DJ gigs on the side and a steady gf.

Now i have none of those things.

>>212946175
what happened? how did you blow it?

>>212946133
I'm not him. but how do you get past small talk? everyone wants to be your aquaintance no one wants to be a friend.
I'm always stuck at aquaintance. small talk.

>>212945903
not everyone wants, or should have kids

>>212946144
not wasting it. making more. making good investments.

>>212946133
And you aren't even adressing what I even said and instead making unfounded assumptions and spouting inane platitudes.

>>212942116 (OP)
Im 38 and I do think a lot about money. Mainly planning retirement. I want to retire when Im 55 and I send not far from half what I earn into a private pension.
I should enjoy life more.

>>212946037
Yeah the people who turn being a dependent, narcissistic NEET into a virtue are almost guaranteed to be lost permanently. People are their worst enemies and defense mechanisms can be the ultimate tools of self sabotage (despite being embarrassingly transparent and obvious to everyone else). It’s good you not only got help but also had consequences, expectations and eventually pulled yourself up too.

>>212945392
Do it. Set a reminder everyday and start with an hour or two at first. At the very least, if you stick with it you’ll find out if it’s really your passion or not and when you look back at the year you can be proud and content with having a disciplined schedule and finally “doing it”. You’re getting older and know how fast time flies by so might as well start tomorrow. It’s also satisfying to throw yourself into something full bore, the classic artist approach and outlook. You can be proud of it.

>>212946220
He ain't even talking about small talk, he is talking about people approaching you for (social, relationships, employment, networking) oppurtunities.

>Board about discussing film
>Treat it like r9k and blog about your life

>>212942116 (OP)
artificial intelligence destroyed my industry so I'll probably die.

>>212946074
what you are doing right here is self-reinforcing your depression
>this guy who cured his depression wasn't REALLY depressed like me

>>212946300
what is depression and how do you identify it. ?

>>212942116 (OP)
Only a Hippiescum boomer would be complaining about 1981 America. That was basically the peak of civilization.

>>212946290
Blogthreads are board culture, newfag

u guys ever catch yourself thinking "god i wish i was chinese"

Only an entitled bitch can relate to that OP pic.
If you were young and all you thought about was art and music, is because your dad or mom was the one thinking about money for you to slack like a retarded brat.
This isn't proof of the world being grim, is proof of you being a leech and an entitled retard.
The world is grim on it's own, you just don't value your parents.

>>212942116 (OP)
I live out of spite.

>>212946392
spite of what

>>212946220
For me, I love small talk and acquaintances and I have a pretty hardcore dismissive-avoidance attachment style so I can’t help you there. I have meaningful small talk all the time with colleagues, walking my dog and just being outside around people. At least a few times a year someone will give me their business card or contacts and my wife is always perplexed. She doesn’t understand that I have deep conversations with perfect strangers and something meaningful was passed between us and they want to either maintain it or at least acknowledge that it was something. I’m at my best when having small talk because I turn completely on, I’m like a sponge and I practically interview people, asking lots of questions, cutting to the heart of things and going way beyond niceties and polite chatter. This doesn’t help you but I guess you should be the person who extends their contacts. Also, hobbies are a great way to connect and meet up afterwards. Dogs are a great icebreaker and you can plan to meet up for walks.

>>212946260
Yeah yeah it’s all about luck and who you know, no point in trying because it gets you nowhere. I get it. Good luck.

Only Americans believe they're entitled to happiness, they expect to always be content. The rest of the world realizes life is largely horrible, you work and then die.

>>212946291
artificial intelligence got me out of neetdom and gave me a purpose, I finally live.

>>212946277
So how do you deal with the reality that the literal objective chances of someone making a living as an "artist" are slim to noone? And that people without rich parents need to make a living?

>>212946319
a persistent, dominating and self-reinforcing negative emotional state that makes it difficult for you to motivate yourself to improve your life. You identify it by being mindful enough about your own emotions to recognize how down you are, especially compared to other people. You confront it by actively manipulating your mood by putting on an act of being positive until it is no longer something you're pretending. Even if that is not really sustainable for you right away, at least it will help you recognize your negative emotional state. Go ahead and try right now, put a smile on your face and think more positively, and see how different it feels from your default state.

>>212946349
>P-please let me traumadump about what a loser I am
Watch a movie and discuss it.

>>212946356
no, because I remember China's "zero covid policy"

>>212946290
>please discuss the movie only and do not relate it to your own personal experiences and whether the movie is realistic!
you'd be a good janny. tell me, do you like working for free?

>>212946439
Anon said he’s trying to write and wishes he could turn songwriting and music into a career. At worst it’s an enriching hobby for him that he pursues with intent rather than half-assing it and always wishing he gave it a go. Better to spend your leisure hours doing that than shitposting and playing video games.

>>212946356
I don’t think anyone has ever thought that in history. I’m not even being ironic, that’s more than likely a fact.

>>212946525
Agree 100%

>>212946474
in a country with a billion people they managed to contain it with only 5000 deaths. That is true power and courage. In comparison the U.S.A had over ONE MILLION deaths

>>212942392
Anon, why do you wound me so

>>212946549
you believe this? Tell me, who killed Dr. Li?

>>212946431
how???????

>>212945903
My older sister had cystic fibrosis and my younger brother has cerebral palsy
Growing up, I saw the toll it took on my parents as they had to raise my siblings (especially when my brother sperged out)
I don't want to go through that, and I don't want to spread my shitty genes. I'm good without having any kids.

>>212946598
Dr. Li-ck my nuts

>>212945761
>eat healthy. watch your weight,
do not eat fast food, meat and chicken are ok. avoid bread, avoid fried stuff. avoid soda. take care of your teeth, regular cleanings. do not wait. health is most important. do your hobbies, teach your guitar, join a band. play music with others. Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride.

>>212946698
Nah that guy was a genuine hero.

>>212946420
The world. You gotta feel motivated. The world wants you to die. They want you to be the loser that kills himself. Everyone (except your closest friends and family I suppose) but all your acquaintances feel better about themselves if they know some loser that killed himself. "At least I'm not that guy"
Fuck that.

I had it all and I lost it. When I was 30 I had a well paying job, a hot 20 yo gf, I was in great shape, I was hosting parties for tons of friends and "friends".

Now I have lost it all but I am not gonna quit. I'm gonna make it and if I don't make it I will still live out of spite and enjoy myself. I'm not gonna give anyone the satisfaction.

Remember that when you want to kill yourselves anons. Live out of spite. Spite is a great motivator. Fuck the world is not quitting, it's living out of spite and enjoying the ride.

>>212946450
but the thing is I'm pretty funny and I joke with my family and I smile even when I'm by myself and I even say hi to people in the street but I just have very little energy to do anything. is low energy depression?
I'm almost never sad or negative. I just feel like I don't wanna do anything

>>212946596
You can do whatever you wanna do. Mark Twain published his first book at 41. Puddles Pity Party didn't become a sensation until his 50s. It's only over when you quit.

>>212942116 (OP)
I am 36 and the happiest I have ever been in my life. I work a stay-at-home position that pays well and allows me to read, clean, or even play games when not actively needed, I’m married to an amazing woman, and we’re looking to get a house in the next year and start a family. Honestly I live incredibly blessed and I am thankful every day I wake up.

>>212946728
anger eventually fizzles out and what remains is a shell of a person.
cant imagine spite works much different

>>212946717
https://youtu.be/8EoukRWQ-ec?si=TTgRTwZ4iNj7jh39

I'm 35, I'm just waiting until I hit a high enough amount that I can become a NEET. I figure with around 2.5M I can retire and live off the proceeds. I have no kids or spouse and my parents will probably be gone by then. Should take less than 10 years.

>>212942116 (OP)
He looks like the guy from Red Letter Media

>>212946772
good for you hope your wife gets run over by a car and you kill yourself

>>212946772
sounds like the opposite of me, you're like my arch nemesis.

>>212946776
It's a different mindset. I'm not angry. I just love myself too much to quit. Don't feel guilty about being a person. You didn't choose to be born in whatever circumstances you were born into. Enjoy the ride and don't give anyone the satisfaction of quitting.

>>212946807
Thanks anon, have a blessed day :blessed emoji:

>>212946596
>>212946765
the KFC Colonel didn't create KFC until he was 70

/tv/ will never actually discuss this kino, every thread just uses OPs pic. Andre was 100% in the wrong btw.

>>212946728
why did you lose it all?

>>212942116 (OP)
36 is fucking PEAK. You still have your looks (if you ever had them) and now you have the brains to go with it. If you're not a y hunchback humonculous and you are not swimming in poosy in your 30's you are doing it wrong.

>>212945722
Kazakhstan?

lol no it doesn't have to be. it can be whatever you want it to be. lots of people just kind of slide into whatever pays the bills and stick with it because the prospect of losing income scares them and putting yourself out there for something better is risky and requires work
don't let anyone ever tell you that you "should be doing this or that by the time you are xx years old". they aren't you. you can hit the reset button any fucking time you want and if you put in the time you can make it work. i've known divorced 50 year olds that clawed their way out of destitution. 40 year olds that completely switch up careers and go back to school. 30 year olds that have been neets all their lives and get their first jobs.
obviously if you're 80 then you're shit out of luck lol but 36 is YOUNG in the grand scheme of life. shit, even 40 is young and still plenty of time to make something of yourself

>Reapplying to universities
>Get my transcript
>No math or sciences after grade 11
>It's just English, Art, Drama and Media
Lol what a little fucking retard I was. If the stars align and I somehow have a son I'll force him to take every academic class he can. At least I can do the courses online in a couple months.

>>212946880
The job due to unrealistic expectations (I thought I could get something better so I quit, I had a job offer lined up which didn't pan out, basically a university teacher filled my head with unrealistic expectations that I could get a research position that eventually I didn't get).

The gf was something similar, I was looking for a family and she wasn't so we broke it off then she went and had a baby with another dude. It is what it is.

>>212942116 (OP)
Turning 36 this year so funny I found this thread. My life was actually great, had a great girlfriend, financial security and own place. Then I got my third COVID shot so I could travel overseas and developed something called visual snow syndrome which is hell. I still have all these great things in my life but I struggle to actually enjoy them.

All in all anons try and appreciate what you have because it could all get fucked up real quick.

>>212946985
>If the stars align and I somehow have a son I'll force him to take every academic class he can
And he'll regret it and resent you. You always want what you can't have. I went to specialized science schools and did a STEM major and 7 years of a PHD without getting a degree, now all I really want is to publish a collection of short stories.

>>212947015
bro. that hurts to read. but at least you had it. I got nothin

>>212943594
There is. I'm turning 31 in about a month and I've effectively kicked my main character syndrome. Makes life astoundingly easier.

>>212947076
what do you mean

>>212947038
the ideal balance is probably somewhere in between. always ask your son to do the most he can but leave the choice to him. and remind him of the consequences.

>>212942116 (OP)
Depends

>And he'll regret it and resent you
idgaf I'd be his dad not his friend. He's free to study English and write. He just needs to have as many options open as possible.
>I really want is to publish a collection of short stories
Publishers won't buy short stories, you gotta write a full novel or self-publish.

>>212947034
The only good things in my life ironically make me feel worse. I love my family but I feel like such a burden on them, just my existence being nothing but worry and frustration for them, and they're all getting old. I'm afraid of what my life is going to be without them but I also want to build one away from them especially so I don't equate a life on my own as their absence.

>>212947066
Just enjoy yourself. It doesn't matter. Everyone out there is broken in some way or another. Life is not for the meek.

It's like this Hemingway quote.
The best people kill themselves. They are too pure for this world.
The rest of us just adapt and live out of spite.

>>212947094
Having an inflated sense of importance. Japs call it chuunibyou, I think. Making peace with the fact you're just one guy, living in a certain place in a certain time; not thinking of yourself as some 'great man' with a 'great destiny' ahead. Accepting your own humanity, both its highs and lows.

Blog post over.

>>212947153
That's fine if you can fill your house with the quasi feeling of a family from your own echo chamber simp fanbase
The moment the Internet goes out for a week, and all you have is an empty house and nobody but your dog around, she'll fuck the dog first, and then kill herself waiting for the dog's refractory period

>>212947177
>idgaf
You really should, if you equate academics with suffering and resentment they're just gonna bin the shit when they feel comfortable doing so completely squandering those opportunities. Don't raise a burnout who'll then tell you to eat a dick when you point it out.
Also the real opportunities are made socially, make sure your son knows how to actually make friends and have fun.

>>212947200
If it kills everyone, then why not push to be very gentle and very brave.

>>212947153
she sounds lonely

I'm probably one of the biggest losers here at 33 and a half. I'm a kissless virgin never been on a date. Rarely had friends in my life. Was a good student as a kid, still had no ambition, college was worthless, dead end job since then. Still live with my parents who I pay a bunch of rent to and we barely have a relationship. I don't drive a car. I do have a hobby that takes up some of my time and has helped me to meet people, but I pretty much don't do anything with my life otherwise. My entire life has pretty much been a blank slate. I have few to no memories about anything and I don't aspire to anything. I literally just exist day to day.

30s aren't grim for the vast majority of people. Most people have great careers, lots of relationship history, married, kids, house, lots of money, friends, goals, ambition, hope. People like me are a very small outlier. I don't even know how it's possible for someone to end up like me, how someone could care this little about their entire life. No drugs or alcohol or bad stuff. Just been completely apathetic and miserable sicne a teeanger, over half my life, over 20 years, I've just been miserable the entire time. Never tried getting help, no diagnoses, going to therapy, nothing. Parents never cared to help and I'm incapable of doing anything on my own. I have no confidence, no self-esteem, I'm completely incompetent and every person I see, everything I read from people online reminds me of how far behind I am, how much of a worthless failure I am, drives me closer and closer to killing myself. I'm a completely humiliating pathetic embarrassment to myself, to my parents, to my family and I provide nothing to anyone or anything on the planet. Every day I think about just not returning home, not telling my parents where I went, just going into the woods or something and lying down and dying to disappear off the face of the Earth. But I'm too much of a coward even for that.

Sorry to blog on here, not like anyone cares anyway.

>>212946932
30 is literally like 22 in current era years. And 36 doesn't even equate to 28. More like 26.

>>212947241
I wish my parents pushed me harder. having nice parents can destroy your future.
I think it was Paul Rudd that said it, having hard parents gives you success, he joked by saying "I feel bad for people with nice parents"

>>212947295
I care, I read it.
what kind of job and what kind of hobby?
I'm the same as you.

>>212947256
Because then you'll live like 60 years less.
Like I said fuck that. I don't want to be a martyr for others to point at and feel better about themselves.

Everyone out there is as fucked as you. I have a lot of friends, some of them are very successful people, and they live in their own little hells behind the surface. (Cheating wives, "open relationships", lawsuits, etc.)

>>212945722
so you look normal (in america)

>>212947324
what other problems do successful friends e have? please I must know

>>212947324
>then you'll live like 60 years less
You are making a point but it's not really advancing your argument
Humanity run perfectly fine with a lifespan of 20years, or 25 years, or 30 years, or anything in between then and now, for thousands of years
It's not like living to 90 "is just better"

>>212947264
Only if you assume there's nothing else, but she's a fairly attractive woman (inb4 pointy knees and christmas cake cope) I'm sure she has friends and at the very least a boyfriend if not husband who all enable her hobbies.
>>212947305
It's the difference between putting importance on drive and pushing them too far, there's a countless amount of people with hardcore and strict parents and they literally abandon everything they push them to do out of pure spite.

>>212947458
yeah I know that some people become drug addicts or sex addicts ( women) because of hardcore parents
but my parents were too, too nice. kinda hurt me.

>>212947422
Saddest case I know is a person who worked in showbiz (nothing fancy but he rubbed shoulders with celebrities), his show won an award and he was among the winners as part of the crew, he turned into a cocaine addict and then had to go to the funny farm. Now he works as a waiter.

>>212947423
It's better for me. I want to live a thousand years.
Even five hundred would be pretty nice.

>>212947153
>LARPING e-thots

>>212947458
>Only if you assume there's nothing else
It's a safe-tits gamer girl streamer anon
She doesn't need a bf she has like 70k subs

>>212947562
wow, any other stories? I need more

>>212947562
>It's better for me.
>we were talking about idealized humanity
>"Ah, but me, personally!"
Sub80 IQ

>>212947524
my parents just watched become depressed and throw my life away and then kicked me out

id rather have my son hate me than himself because he didnt do anything

>>212947607
Did you ask for your parent's help when you became depressed?

>>212947602
I wasn't talking about idealized humanity, you misinterpreted. I was talking about life being tough. Nobody out there is perfect, perfect people don't make it in this world. You want to be too pure for this world or you want to live with all your imperfections and accept yourself?

>>212947663
>You want to be too pure for this world or you want to live with all your imperfections and accept yourself?
I would be ok with a world in which everyone is pure and don't live past 20-30

>>212947607
Based parents, good thing you will never have a son.

>>212947708
That's nice but it doesn't exist. I would like to live in TNG utopia and command a Galaxy-class ship.

>>212947607
my mom did my school work for me when I was little. dad was at work and never paid attention to me but not in a bad way, he just watched sports and let me be.
whenever I had a school project mom liked to naked them, I played games or rode my bike. or drew.
since I drew and played music they put me in art and music classes. I never cared about math or science, never did anything good after school.
I was in piano classes and drawing, I was in chorus at school, they got me paints and a flute, they got me a drum set.

in college I took more art. nothing important or good, just art.
it basically ruined my life. I have no skills except fucking art. I have nothing good. nothing.
my life was a waste.

>>212947722
see
>>212947423

>>212947295
>closer to killing myself
This will never happen, because you are a covert narcissist.

>>212942116 (OP)
life is over in your mid-30s, and any late bloomers/red pill masculinity copers are doing just that; coping.

having single parents is such a curse
they're always too tired from life to actually be there for you, i don't remember a single time where my parents helped me with my school work or got me to sit down and study. this system where both parents have to work and the children are raised by the state is truly disgusting. It's so abhorrent it makes me sick.
Kids should be at home with their mother and around family as much as possible, not teachers.

>>212946985
If you have a son just don't be a bitch, back up what you say by not folding like a tent at the end when he does wrong. Always be a man and not a bitch around your son. Them ever even considering talking back to you should be so far from consideration or reality it should not even compute. Don't be a bad influence even if you think you are hiding it because they have esp and they will know and do it themselves.

And most important curate and filter his friends like the fate of the Earth depended on it. Do these things and you will be fine.

>>212942116 (OP)
nah you don't look 60 normally at 36

>>212947623
i never learned how to. my father just doesnt care either and my mom died plus she could not deal with rebellious teenage me.
i was depressed (giving up on things), reclusive during school and my stress response was usually just to shut down, like when i got bullied or excluded.
i hated my life everyday and knew no way out. it ended with me dropping out of school and my father kicking me out in the same year.

meanwhile there is anons like this >>212944511
whose parents practically forced him to get better

or one of my former friends at high school who was basically best friends with his parents and they supported and pushing him through everything.
everyone i know thats successful from my high school days had a thriving family. i dont know a single exception.

>>212947717
kill yourself you worthless orphan

>>212947776
Life is all about coping anon. It's the whole shtick of being alive.

>>212947733
>but not in a bad way
there is no good way to neglect your kid.
so do you even like art?

art is not dead, I see lots of people on twitter drawing furry porn or fanart and live off commissions.
life isnt just about skills or work either. i dont even have an arts degree. i really have nothing. no social life since 20 or so either.

life is about making good memories and making the best of your youth.

>>212947945
dad never yelled at us , he bought us toys and snacks. rented movies for us, got me games, he was nice and chill, he just really loved sports in his free time.
but never asked anything, never pushed e to be great. never taught me to play sports,
yeah I love art. I love sculptures. I love music. but art should never be a career.

>>212944710
Just do things you enjoy, anon.

>>212944193
He probably turned it into a shitload more than that if he got in on Bitcoin at the right time. It's a massive gamble but if you got in even a few years ago and held through the dips the yields are higher right now. Shit if you went it even a year ago it's basically doubled since then

>>212948098
its neglect anon. none of those gifts make up for emotional unavailabity or the fact he did not care about you or ur future enough to push you.
you werent a son, you were an asset or a pet.

>>212942116 (OP)
I'm 27 and my hair is only slightly better than this

>>212944710
Nobody knows how to live. They gaslight you with perfect instagram pics. Everyone is clueless.

>>212943624
whats ur current networth lol

>>212946765
>Muh Loch Lomond

>>212946765
>>212946853
Leonard Cohen didn't start until he was in his mid 30s

>>212942116 (OP)
One of the few good things about having a shitty childhood is I don't have problems like this.

>>212948317
i dont get it

>>212948329
my uncle raped me

>>212945318
>by making me a night owl, always up all night, while the rest of the world sleeps
nigger there are so many fucking night shift jobs out there quit being a bitch lol

>>212942116 (OP)
I'm completely mentally ill and spend all day on the computer or babbling incoherently while pacing around the house. I have told my family multiple times I need their support and they don't care. I have never thought about money, art or music. I have never created anything, I have no skills, no drive, no goals and I am genuinely stupid. If I was allowed to have a gun, I'd immediately stick in my mouth and blow my brains out.

>>212945318
what a fucking drama queen. i worked at night at a telco for 7 years. literally took a toll on my body but i'm not crying here like a bitch on a cambodian basket weaving forum

>>212948360
could be worse. you could have been a victim AND have OPs hairline

>>212948389
>>212948368
I do ride shares. it's a dead end. it's not a career. it's meaningless

>>212948317
You don't pine for your youth if it sucked. Adulthood is an upgrade.

>>212948489
Meant for
>>212948329

>>212948489
specially the sex with women instead of uncle.

>>212945318
You should try forgiving Jesus.

>>212948462
Then kill yourself and stop spamming television board, fucking reddit cocksucker.

>>212948508
an understandable, yet depressing outlook

>>212942235
I'm 34, work retail, and still live with my parents. Still a kissless virgin who has never had a gf. Pray for me.

>>212948582
kissing a girl is like salty coins and milk if you're wondering

>>212948137
yes and he'd turn it into even more if he went to vegas and bet it all on red and it came up red, what's your point?

>>212948582
>>212948598
that anon is a lying mexican drugdealer.
kissing a girl, even if its just meaningless making out, feels like one of the greatest things in the world. it fills you with confidence and warmth and is scientifically good for your health and immune system.

I once made out with a random girl at a new years party for like 1 hour and felt like a superhero afterwards.

>>212942116 (OP)
>When I was young I had no thoughts of my own now I still don't, wow isn't it weird how organic life is like based around resource acquisition????
I'm so tired of stupid people.

I want to fight for something. I want to do one good deed before I die. I want to save someone's life or something. I am a 34 year old obese white male with no job or education. I am also schizophrenic. I applied at McDonald's but they didn't even respond.

>>212942392
>Hitting 30-35 is around the time you realise your life is going to be as mundane and boring as your parents. It's when the last remnants of your dreams die.

Mundanity is a state of mind. Being a millionaire or a rock star is no escape from the mundane. Life by nature is mundane 99% of the time. All this to say if the meaning of life for you is a creative pursuit you might as well do it with the means you have rather than trying to make a living out of it because that path is basically gone at this point.

>>212944819
Sounds cozy. Thanks for posting.

>>212948630
No. Just a Europoor who fell off the trail and never got back on it.

>>212947910
Exactly correct

There isn't a human being alive that isn't coping in some way shape or form, that's why when you achieve or get something the feeling is always fleeting

But instead you need to recognize that and accept the present instead

>>212948553
painless way? you can't tell me to kill myself and not provide an easy way bro. come on now.

>>212942496
>I'm 35 and I'm just thrilled to have a career and family after being a NEET from 21 to 28
How?

>>212948656
become an organ donor. do not hurt yourself or anything but go online and change your ID to say organ donor

Yes, it's true.
I'm 35 and by most accounts, I've "made it": 5k€/month job, own apartment, 100k€ invested - but the work culture is so soul-crushing I would rather just NEET it up on gibs like they do in Goymany/Austria/wherever and actually enjoy life. Can't do that, though, because no gibs where I live.
I'm grinding my personal projects as hard as I can so I can escape the rat race even if they bring in a modest income.
I'd have no qualms about wagecucking hard if I had a family to support, but I have no dating/marriage prospects whatsoever, so what's the point? No matter how much you earn, FIRE is impossible in Yurop.

>>212944451
>The guy who wrote the Jack Reacher books, Lee Childs, didn’t write his first book until he was 39. You can still do it anon.
Yeah, after being already rich and from a rich family and having no need to work or do anything.

>>212942392
>Hitting 30-35 is around the time you realise your life is going to be as mundane and boring as your parents.
>It's when the last remnants of your dreams die.
This is true to an extent. Being an artist from 15-25 is charming, intriguing. But from 25-45 people will treat you like absolute shit for being an artist, most people give up on their dreams during this stretch and will resent you for sticking it out. The good news is that if you make it to 45+ while remaining dilligent then people are likely to have immense respect for you in your chosen field.
>t.oldfag

>>212947842
>never asked for help
>never got help
I don't see your parent's fault here, are you a girl?
How is that also on your parents that they couldn't handle "rebellious teenage you"?

>>212944710
I'm listening, what have you been dealing with?

I'i've been living out solely off drawing porn, earning between 1 and 3k a month, for 3 years now
I'm 36

>>212945318
Night terrors from sleeping at night is a new one but that seems like you just need to reset your schedule. When I was a neet I often slept during the day which would keep me up at night. Aside from that you're putting too much importance on yourself, a martyr of your own design. Being an introvert is fine. The kind of people you'd want to be with are smart enough to know that some people just don't like talking much, actions speak louder anyways. It helps if you get a job with other people like in an office. I suck at small talk but when its about work I can talk for hours. Having that "goal" to a conversation helps immensely. Exhausting, yes but all that built up energy everyone has needs to go somewhere.

>>212945845
He looks "thin" if you're morbidly obese with 8 chins lol. He doesn't look fat but don't use other people's averageness to justify your obesity.

>>212944664
>>no, my parents are middle class and they sacrificed a lot to help me back on my feet.
Ok? They still bought you all these things?

>>212948691
arent we all?
me personally, i have never found the trail in the first place

>>212946728
I feel a similar way. A cosmic force wants you to lose. You have to keep living to spite it.

>>212948829
how is it not my parents fault for not caring about my well being, my future and my needs?
how is it not my parents fault for being emotionally unavailable?
how is it not my parents fault for making me feel like nothing i do matters?
how is it not my parents fault for not teaching me how to regulate bad emotions, stand up for and take care of myself?

stop being a faggot, anon.

>>212942283
Why would you say such a terrible thing? How does it make any sense? No I don't actually want a response from you, thanks I'm good.

>>212945318
>>212948389
What's with you pussies not adapting to night life
It's only "hard" and "takes a toll" if you try to fight it back
I've been sleeping at day and waking at night for 10 years and it's all good
I wish more people knew this life, you just have to find the right tricks, like pitch dark curtains/room.
I feel like many people could live perfectly normal night lives but there's like a "push" to be "normal"
I'm blessed to live where I live
I have, within 6 miles of me
>24/7 bakery
>24/7 greengrocery
>24/7 mcdonals
>24/7 cloth store
>24/7 electronic shop
>24/7 PO box
the only thing that saddens me is that in my whole city there isn't a 24/7 hardware store. With one of those I would live eternally at night.

>>212948943
how does this force wants you to lose?

>>212946728
>>212948943
Spite has motivated me more than anything else to pursue a good life.
Negative events happen no matter what, but you have to work to make positive events occur.

>>212948967
>>212948855
there's nothing open here 24/7.
my job is online. so I don't see people much.
I've tried to force myself to sleep at night but I get severe nightmares. even with the lights on.

>>212947776
that's the normiest tweet I've ever read and you should be arrested for posting it. that's what happens when you're a consoomer faggot your whole life who never reads.

>>212946728
Send that to a Hollywood director. That's the internal monologue narrated at the start of a new movie. They know the world wants a movie on this subject hence the success of the Joker, but the Joker 2 fiasco shows it was a pure fluke they happened to come up with due to the typing monkeys effect. I'm serious, send that.

>>212948981
Doesn't bad shit ever happen to you? Dont you struggle? Dont let it make you sad. Fight against it.

>>212948956
>admitted to be rebellious as a teen
>"it's my parent's fault for not stopping me"
Nah, what you need is a big dose of accountability, which you seem to lack a lot
That's why I ask if you were a girl
I was rebellious as a teen, I stabbed multiple someone's, multiple times
I was dangereous rebellious, not daddy rebellious
I could bet your "rebellious" was just fucking older men and doing pot.
I'm so sorry for girls tho, they don't teach you when does your life start, but it certainly starts at some point.
All you ask on your post? That's entitlement, not a given, not for everyone, and certainly, not forever.

>>212949021
you have some explaining to do

>>212942392
>For some people, having "potential" becomes a large part of their identity. These people like to have alot of possibilites open for them, but when you hit 30, you're no longer a young guy with alot of potential, you're a squandered potential to whom which alot of doors slam shut in rapid succesion.
If only I didn't find my calling on BOATS at the last minute, I would resent you for this post.

I still kinda do, cause I feel it.

>>212949066
no my "rebellious" was shutting the door on my parents and refusing to talk to them. also being toxic.
every child is entitled to caring parents. sorry you think otherwise just because you are an orphan or had a rapist nogooder dad.

>>212949070
if you feel like your brain is slowing down then you're a consoomer faggot who never reads.

>>212942392
I think the hardest life is valedictorian's or olimpic amateurs.
In that time of your life, you live in a fixed microcosms.
You live ONLY with people your age, there's an age cap, there's a fixed goal: Score this points, score this grades.
The goal is capped.
The goal was done before, so it's a known cap, and someone WILL be at the top nomatter what.
Most valedictorians just kill themselves.
You were at the top of the microcosms at age 18-20, the pic, the cap, you were the cap.
Then you turn 21

>>212942392
>For some people, having "potential" becomes a large part of their identity.
That cuts deep. In my defense I didn't live off of having potential, I did try to make it. It just didn't happen and I needed to find something that would actually pay.

>>212949129
I read a lot and definitely feel the same. Maybe its depression or an increasing load of regrets, responsibilities, worries and midlife crisis thoughts.
But there is a reason esports pros retire in their late 20s. Because their brain cant keep up with younger people anymore.

>>212949150
This is why the "muh socialization" angle of pro-schoolers falls flat on its face.

>>212947295
Eh. It's all relative. I'm 36, 80 lbs overweight with severe sleep apnea, drink a lot, and put myself in constant situations where I can either die or end up in jail. In a dead end minimum wage job that I miraculously keep around even though I'm late 90% of the time. I drive drunk multiple times a week, have passed out in my vehicle many times, just quietly waiting to one day die or bottom out

And even then, I've had two gfs for all my 20's. Now I'm very undesirable, so I fuck whores a few times a month.

>>212949089
You keep doing that
>I shut the door
>I refused to talk
>I didn't ask for help
>"It's my parent's fault that I didn't had X"
that's lack of accountability on your part. Again, I don't entirely blame you. For example, if I ask you if you would like a caring husband, and that you would love the man and care for him and give him childs and be a stay home mom, what would you say?
Because that's also a fix if you didn't had caring parents, you can easily have a caring family of your own.

>>212947256
It's another way of saying "the good die young" or "no good deed goes unpunished", you retard.

>>212949188
how much are they
how did you find them

>>212949220
you are right about accountability, but you didnt answer any of my questions.
again, how can you blame a child under those circumstances? i was made to feel like it didnt matter what i did. and my emotions were ignored and never validated.
am i entitled? again, my parents fault for bringing me up that way.
do i lack accountability? again, my parents fault.
stop being a disingenuous retard

>>212947295
Sorry man :(

love me parents even though they didn't do a very good job
at the very least they gave me decent genetics and they're both kind and loving people

>>212949344
>kind and decent
well thats what matters. my father is neither.

>>212948956
Everyone is fucked by their parents in some way. And those parents will blame their own parents. It's like a Goldilocks story.
>My parents were too tough
>My parents weren't tough enough
Fact is even the best parents can't decide for how a child behaves. Everyone deserves a caring parent but there's no right answer for what caring means. My father wanted to be my friend rather than a father and I haven't spoken to him in over a decade. I love him because I can't help it but I have no respect for him because he's a manchild who blamed the world for his own problems.

>>212949294
>i was made to feel like it didnt matter what i did. and my emotions were ignored and never validated.
there are very few women like yourself, that got to live the life of a man.
I'm sorry if you can't take it
But there's 4 billion man on this planet, most of whom who live like that.
I'm gonna give you a normal men experience: When I was like 20 something, I was leaving from the gym, walking home, and some girls catcalled me. I felt like superman for a month, and I still remember it to this day, 15+ years after it.
That was the first and only time females actively validated me and didn't ignored me, that one time in my life.
Welcome to the life of men, there's 4 billion of us.

>>212949357
why don't you talk to him

>>212949357
there is tho.
>right answer: deeply care for your child, his emotions, dreams and future. invest into it heavily. inquire about it. show interest. actually be interested. offer help. provide knowledge without getting asked. be present.
>wrong answer: neglect your child. pretend emotions are just a burden. make everything transactional. dont show interest or understanding. be dismissive. be judgemental. dont care if your child fails or succeeds. dont teach child anything. dont care about future of child. kick child out at 18.

saying there is no right or wrong is the dumbest horseshit copout answer there is

>>212942116 (OP)
To all of the anons ITT that are artists,
YES, you WILL make it as long as you accept the following:
>being skilled means grinding your fundamentals no matter what kind of art you are making
>The most important part is consistency and bloodless practice, this will hone your skills until inspiration hits
>Inspiration doesn't happen it is made; all of those times inspiration "happened" to you was a lucky and unconcious accumulation of habits you should have been conciously cultivating
>as >>212948817 has said non-artists will be intrigued by you, then resent you then admire you in that order, the most important thing is to never give up and remain consistent.
>Never give up and remain consistent!
>Small progress builds up; as an example write one page per day for a week and then increase that two pages the following week etc.
>Ten pages a day is 3650 pages a year
>Never give up and remain consistent

>>212949375
im a guy anon. i know all about those things. one time a shy girl told me i look "alright". i still remember it to this day.

>>2129494
Genuinely bad influence. I've tried to get him to grow up and it doesn't stick. He's been unemployed for like 15 years and keeps making excuses for why that is. I refuse to let him bring me down, I've put way too much work for get myself out of that same hole.

>>212949445
Are there no people who are happy and successful having had bad parents? Having a good parent certainly helps but there's only so much a parent's influence can go before the blame falls squarely on us. Usually around the time you're a fully fledged adult.

>>212949475
Get with the pack lad, what thing you don't get
That's the standard, loving parents only work up to age 5-6. 8-10 if you are lucky. 11-12 if you are lucky and a cute kid in a good neighborhood.
By teen years you should have realized that this is the life of men.
You called ME a faggot nigger, and asking about your parents "ignoring emotions" and "not validating emotions"
If you were a girl I was sympathetic, now you are just pissing me off
THERE ARE
4 BILLION
MEN

>>212949559
>well i suffered so you should too
if ur a bitter fag just say so

>>212949544
> Usually around the time you're a fully fledged adult.
and what age is that, according to you? you sound my negligent abusive father. kill yourself

>>212949559
and one more thing.
the most successful guys from my high school class had caring, educated and friendly parents with whom they shared great relationships. they were ultra confident and had all their needs cared for and more.
its not a coincidence.

>>212949588
In most countries, that's 18 years old. No one chooses their parents and the parents don't choose which lessons actually stick with their kids. Sorry you rolled snake eyes but you shouldn't keep blaming your parents for your problems if you recognize you have those problems in the first place. What are you going to do, just bitterly keep having those problems because it wasn't your fault and it shouldn't be on you to fix it?

>>212949588
again with your lack of accountability, women
I didn't say "because I suffer, YOU must suffer"
I said "Because nobody else bitch about it, YOU shouldn't bitch about it"
You are the minority here, but a minority of your own doing.
It's not like I'm on a pack and you are on a pack, and my pack hunts more and you are in the minority pack that hunts less.
We are on the same pack, eating the same scraps, but you are in the minority that scream "Oh me, who has to eat scraps!"
Yes I hear you nigger I'm eating the same scraps, shut the fuck up

>>212949161
I've never felt smarter than I am now in my 30's. video games are more satisfying to younger people so they can practice for longer hours, that's all that is.

>>212949161
this is because most people do not practice thinking nor do they think of it as a skill and a frightening amount of people are incapable of metacognition

>>212949129
I feel like my brain is slowing down but I know the cause is lack of human interaction
I used to be sharp and talkative on my teens, witty and fast to reply
I know fumble with the simplest interaction, and find myself repeating autistically some words the other people say
It's a strange thing, to be losing my diction
I spoke a total of maybe 30 words to another human in the whole year so far

>>212949665
i get ur point and u are right
i know whats wrong i know that i have to turn off pc, clean apt, write application, work out.
but i dont. why? i dont know why. i feel paralyzed.

>>212949674
you may feel smarter but you could never clutch 1v5 like lil timmy
our brains do change, its undeniable

>>212949747
>i dont know why. i feel paralyzed.
I know why. It took me 16 years to figure it out.

>>212949290
I live near Mexico, so they range from $30-50 for mid street wallkers, or $100-$150 for top tier girls. Last time I paid $200 included three rounds of beers for me and the girl, lapdance and makeout sesh, and then 1.5hrs of GFE experience in a hotel. Popped 3 times, and cuddled and talked in between. It was very nice.

>>212949747
>i get ur point
I don't think so, you have been dodging accountability 10 posts in a row, on 4 chan, and we are fucking anonymous
You can't live your life if you don't start your life
And I don't mean cleaning and working out, I mean the men's zeroing, that you are not doing
As long as you keep thinking "it's my parent's fault" you are never going to move on, EVEN if you clean and work out, because you are thetering the old life.
New life should be "ok, 0 from now on, no excuses, from now on it's 100% on me. I'm starting with handicap, but that's how it is"

>>212949832
haha im not capable of that just gonna face a singular setback, give up, and then keep wasting 5 more years and kms.
it is what it is. i stopped caring. i dont care anymore, as anon put it accurately >>212942392

>>212949832
>New life should be
>"ok, 0 from now on, no excuses, from now on it's 100% on me. I'm starting with handicap, but that's how it is"
Tbf I think this is too much for most people the same way quitting things cold turkey can be. Learned helplessness requires an accumulative approach.

>>212949475
Your standards get better over time the most you get out there. My first kiss I used to cherish it as if it was the most precious memory in the world. It was with just some rando at a club. Then the first time a girl told me she loved me, I held onto that for dear life, it was the best thing that happened to me. In reality it was just a rando I met at a vacation trip and never saw again. Then my first gf, we dated for 4 months but I hyped it up as if it was the best thing in the world.

What am I trying to say with this? That you need to get out and do shit. It's normal to feel the way you do. The more stuff you do, the more meaningless your previous interactions will feel, but also your failures. You will feel more confident and better about yourself by the simple act of trying. Even in the rare case you fail 100% of your interactions, I ASSURE YOU you will feel better just by the very fact that you have tried. Hey at least I was out here in this party meeting people, making friends, talking to women. It's all upside, you just need to take the first step.

>>212949734
is not from lack of conversation. your smart phone is creating that

>>212946525
The whole country of Vietnam did think that. So I bet there are more who did so.

>>212948582
I didn't have sex until I was 34. There is hope anon.

>>212949734
Would you say that you think about things an above average amount?

>>212949876
i dont think i can get over my wasted past anon but appreciate the kind words

>>212949942
you've already wasted your past so now don't waste his post and make a better future

>>212949942
It's never too late, there's 50 year old wizards over at wizchan.org. You just need to get motivated enough to do it. Set an alarm on your phone to go to a bar next friday, set it right now.

>>212949993
>>212949998
ive already tried hour long walks in nature, weed, mushrooms, nothing has lifted the depression.

>>212949874
>Learned helplessness requires an accumulative approach.
I disagree.
It requires dropping you in the middle of the wilderness with a backpack with some equipment.
check the post
>>212949873
In the wilderness there's noone to bitch about your life. The "self depricating dopamine hit" is non existant. There's noone there.
You cannot fool anyone.
You have the survival in you, people that learned helplessness just shut it down because being pitied is a good dopamine hit.
You need to survive a couple days, rely on yourself, escape a situation by yourself, to truly know that you can do it.
40 years of a couch talk will not give you that simple (yet extreme) experience and knowledge that's vital for their recovery.

>>212949883
I don't use my phone a lot

>>212949933
yes, but it's just a tradeoff, when i was a kid instead of thinking more, I was playing videogames.
So I don't think that's it

I'm pretty sure it's just lack of human interaction bros.
I can write my ideas just fine. And I'm english second language so you are able to understand me even beyond my native mean of communication.
I'm losing my diction because I don't talk to people.
Reminds me of a Malcom in the Middle episode

>>212950065
>I'm pretty sure it's just lack of human interaction bros.
No, see, this is a symptom of growth not of stagnation. You might want to ask yourself if you even WANT to be interracting with others and why. Ages 30-40 extroverts become obsessed with understanding the world while introverts become obsessed with understanding themselves. This is part of the process, your only mistake is that you haven't been writing these thoughts down and actively figuring out WHY you think the way that you do. You are not faulty just evolving so put some grit into it. You got this, I promise. Just figure it out.

>>212950130
>tl;dr You are speaking less because you should be talking to yourself and that does not require a voice. No, not in that new age "all is one" hippie way, but in a very logical and sincere manner in which you assess your inner identity.
>Think of this as an identity audit

>>212950130
I don't know lad, if I were talking to you, I would like to express myself like in this posts, instead of of saying "ok that's use I can use, thanks hello!"

>>212950198
Yes but you haven't lost those skills you are simply unfocused on them because your prerogative is different.
Look, if you think about one thing that I say then let it be this:
>Is it possible to achieve eloquence without knowing thyself?
Come on! Dust thyself off and ruminate damn you, but this time with intent!

>>212950285
Oh I absolutely know I can improve eloquence and diction
I'm just saying the solution is simpler, I should talk to more people, I don't do it because I work online, not really because I'm shy
It's just strange to live the "if you don't use it you lose it"

>>212950323
>It's just strange to live the "if you don't use it you lose it"
Look man I believe this conclusion to be incorrect mostly because this was my conclusion when this was occuring to me. I am trying to save you some time but perhaps your trajectory is different.

>>212950381
I don't know what would be the process here.
I can communicate just fine now by text, and the reason I'm communicating is procrastination.
I write on 4chan all the time, long posts, short posts, witty posts, bait and trolls.
I've been discussing on this very thread, if I wanted to I could spend all day shitpost and talking with people like you.
I do it sometimes in discord.
What I fumble on, is doing it in person, because I don't see any person

>>212950501
you should be talking to and getting to know yourself

its jewish drivel to inflict feelings upon you. you can worry about money and be artistic/interested in arts. suffering isnt exclusive to anyone

>>212950514
Will try to anon, thanks for your words.
This was a nice thread.

>>212950620
nta but good luck fren

>>212946037
>>I think part of it was that I recognized how fucked my life was
Yeah must be so hard having rich parents who own property and never have to work a day in your life and have all your "exploratory" bullshit paid for.

>>212946520
Ok but what the fuck to eat for free in the meantime? Where to live for free? How to continue living and eating for free when it doesn't quite pan out?

>>212945949
>>The less you have means the less you have to lose and the more you have to gain.
Ok, so you're going to give me your stuff then?

>>212944931
>I have shekels and live prettty well.
How?

>>212946133
>>If you socialize and put yourself out there in life you’ll exercise and strengthen your social muscles and become more at ease and adept at socializing with people, putting them at ease, making real connections, not being awkward and so on.
WHERE MORON WHAT FUCKING PEOPLE RETARD

>>212950727
becoming resourceful is part of the deal. Artists in the 50's were dumpster diving and siphoning electricity.