>A Duke Nukem movie is in the works at Legendary. Alan Ritchson (Jack Reacher) is being courted for the role with a script by Steven de Souza (Die Hard). Paul Verhoeven (Starship Troopers) is currently attached as director.

Would you watch it?

>>212960788 (OP)
Only if it’s played straight. Which it won’t be because nothing in 2025 is

>>212960788 (OP)
Odds are they'll pair him up with a sassy black/Latina female who constantly undermines Duke's projected machismo for "comedic effect" (really just virtue signaling to others that the writers/Director aren't actually sexist like the character)

>>212960788 (OP)
I got balls of steel

Richeson isn't big enough to play Duke

>>212960788 (OP)
Okay but my favourite YouTube video essay maker said Duke Nukem was always awful, sexist and misogynistic. Therefore this movie should be banned.

>>212960788 (OP)
Duke Nukem was always supposed to be a satire of toxic masculinity.

>>212960788 (OP)
There has to be a certain amount of straight-faced macho comedy like the games had. He kinda lives in an idiocracy. Things have to be over the top.

>>212960985
Except modern Hollywood can't do satire anymore because writers fear playing anything straight enough where it might risk being misinterpreted as praise.

>>212961091
This. Millennial writers believe that “depicting something” in a film/show is the same thing as endorsing it. Shit is weird

>>212961153
They're not entirely wrong, I mean just look at how American Psycho / Fight Club were received.

>>212961153
>muh mulenialz
The bit is dead nigger get new material

>>212961091
There really shouldn't be any problem. The only trait Duke has that can be seen as toxic is that he's a womanizer, and even then it's not like he treats women like shit or anything. The right writer could make some good comedy with Duke, but lol probably won't happen.

>>212961757
The games use steroid shots as a health pack.

>>212960788 (OP)
If you ever watch that fag in a show, that makes you a fag. He's an ultra-fag and that's that, faggot.

>>212960788 (OP)
He should also top a twink (me) in the movie

>>212961793
hah I forgot the roidz

>>212960788 (OP)
LOL... They are 30 years late. Impossible to make Duke today. Also, even gamers give up on Duke since 2001... And that Reacher guy is a libtard IRL.

Bury it for good.

>>212960788 (OP)
I'm gonna rip off your head and shit down your neck

>>212960985
Dunk Fuckem was never "le toxic" and he was a "tongue in cheek" (without being obnoxious and it was played relatively straight) affectionate "parody" (but not really, the "narrative" never Soifaced and pointed at the heckin MCU quipperinos), so not quite a parody. A pastiche (?) maybe would be the better description.

Low quality bait but you hooked me anyway

>>212961793
so does dickson

>>212961091
The original (as in Duke Nukem 3d) was "praising" in tone

PAUL
VERHOEVEN
DUKE
NUKEM
MOVIE

>>212961867
The things it "references" no longer exist, so yeah

>>212961903

The thing about white guys is that they can simultaneously parody and glamorize a character. It's a parody of an ideal. There's no venom or lecture it's just fun. That's what Duke Nukem is, and it would be really hard for a crew of modern basedlennials and wokefags to portray him without going down the inevitable "toxic masculinity" hole they always do. It's silly that we like this, but we still like it, and that's how it is, guns muscles boobs.

>>212960788 (OP)
>Paul Verhoeven
It's probably going to be insanely badass but somehow that's a bad thing for people with media literacy aka aids. It will be one of those "you're not supposed to like him" type movies where they make him extremely likable.

>>212961186
Discourse around Falling Down is as bad as it gets

For Duke to be the hero, there has to be something obviously good about him.
Brave? Yes.
Perseverance? Yes.
Maybe just kinda too dumb to recognize when the odds are stacked against him? Yeah.

You have to write it in a way that it's obviously an alternate universe. Duke has to be the clear answer to the world he lives in. His mannerisms are both encouraged and rewarded. The place has to be kinda crazy. The wet dream of a 1980's teenage mind.

>source: i made it up

>>212960788 (OP)
Yeah, I imagine it will do just as well as the Borderlands movie did.

BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS
I GOT BALLS OF STEEL

>>212960788 (OP)
>A Duke Nukem movie is in the works at Legendary
You just ruined my day

>>212961793
The steroids were to increase your speed (and I think maybe the strength of mighty boot), not for health

>>212960788 (OP)

I have been hearing stories about a Duke Nukem movie since like... 2001. It is a project that has been in development hell longer than Duke Nukem Forever.

>>212962282
GET OFF VENT OR I'LL HAVE YOU BENT

>>212962042
It's the problem with every fucking story now. They can't make a character without him being the absolute evil or absolute best. They can't make him misogynistic without him being incompetent at his job, stealing candy from children and popping balloons with a needle.
Give 'im some good traits, some bad ones and it's all good. We can laugh at him when he encounters women, and we can cheer him when he fights aliens it ain't that fucking hard.

Man, i miss good movies. Fuck Hollywood

I thought the asshole who did Castlevania and Devil May Cry for Netflix was a producer on this. That gives me less than zero hope.

paul verhoeven would never be selected for this but it could work. verhoven gives no fucks he made a nun lesbian movie in 2021 and it was fucken kino

>>212960973
There's no one better for the role than him right now

If you want to see what a Duke Nukem movie would be like go watch the show Peacemaker
>based roided up far right racist womanizing white bro saves the day with excess force
>entire cast around him is a fat black woman, lesbian, woman he tries to court but always rejects him and a fat reddit mod constantly telling him "HEY NOW YOU CAN'T SAY/DO THAT! THAT'S RACIST/SEXIST/WHATEVER-IST"

>>212964673
Jon Cena dying his hair blond would work. He's already that character in Peacemaker

>>212960977
>>212960985
Factually untrue since in the original 2D platformers he was a completely different character and basically just a bland generic hero.

>>212964812
Eh. No one remembers those. I played them along with Commander Keen on some disk compilation, but everyone remembers the 3D game foremost.

>>212964774
You know nothing of Duke Nukem.

>>212960985
Duke Nukem was a charming misogynist retard that was actually a pretty common trope back in the day. Usually you pair them with a nerdy outspoken girl who constantly spars with the hero then they make our at the end

>>212960788 (OP)
balls of steel

>>212964891
I'll excuse you if you are retarded or an ESL. I wasn't saying that was accurate to Duke Nukem. I was saying that is how modern retarded Hollywood would make it.

>>212960788 (OP)
If it was made 20 years ago maybe

Ash in Army Of Darkness is about as close to Duke Nukem you can get.

You need a hit game first so zoomers and Gen A learn who he is and Randy is gate keeping that

>>212960788 (OP)
>Alan Ritchson
fuck that basedboy

>>212964806
>Duke Nukem takes a minute to praise the CCP
kino

>>212960788 (OP)
>Respect women, baby!

Its kinda insane how the guy that voices him is the polar opposite person that Duke is like

>>212965083

>>212960788 (OP)
Just cast RoB Gronkowski and throw in a Tom Brady feature. Instant box office gold. I mean it's a duke nukem movie, who cares about the acting.

>>212964806
I think Alan is bigger than Cena

>>212960788 (OP)
only if it ends with picrel

>>212965139
You talking popularity wise or like muscle size?

>>212960788 (OP)

>>212964806
john cena is a boring faggot who looks like a penis, why are americans obsessed with this dude

>>212960985
Shake it baby

>>212965252
>why are americans obsessed with this dude
>meanwhile in Brussels where he got possibly the biggest pop in his career
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-Koj1mzsBA

>>212965320
Belgium is not a real country

>>212965381
>Belgium is not a real country
>meanwhile in England where he possibly got his second biggest pop in his career
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2PQG0i9G2g

>>212965202
overall stature and build

>>212965524
Cena is bigger are you nuts and being a wrestler he is better at getting bigger if it is needed?

>>212965320
It's probably not well known internationally but Belgium (or at least wallonia) is a country of rednecks

>>212960788 (OP)
Damn... I'm looking good!

>>212960788 (OP)
Kinda looks like a blond Burt Lancaster.

>>212965613
Me in the back

>>212965575
Every European country he tours in they go crazy for him just stop the fact that a literally who country like Belgium marks out for him makes my argument. If you don't like him thats fine but you Euro fucks can stop spreading lies

>>212965381
An Englander said that though and we all know what's going on in England

>>212960985
That's why it is soo good.

>>212965524
John Cena's physique would be more accurate thoughbeit, douk comes off as about 6'1 max - improbably muscular but not a natural tall/big guy

>>212960985
>it was le irony the whole time
shut up faggot

>>212965659
I'm not part of the argument I'm just providing some insight on Belgium specifically

Also I wouldn't call them literally who, they owned quite a bit of territory in Africa and have FN Herstal which made the kinoest gun in history

>>212961793
I don't see the problem.

>>212965846
I don't care the point is Euros like him too.

>>212964900
He's basically a Johnny Bravo type played more (or less depending how you view it) seriously but actually successful

>>212964806
Cena one of the biggest attention whore.
He is a shitty wrestler and even worse actor.

>>212960985
That's bullshit. He's a parody of action movie heroes of the 90s.

>>212965083
To be fair donk forkem pretty much does raspact wahmen, he's just not a fag about it (hell he's not even greedy about it; "our babes")

>>212965948
You have to be an egotistical attention who to be a successful actor retard

>>212965149
I wonder how they get away with it

Super kek.

>>212962899
>>212962282

>>212966010
Before AAA studios kiked everything, video games were these niche products made by 3-5 nerds in a dorm, garage or rented office somewhere.

>>212966125
LeL

>You think that's fuckin funny

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eckoYQqdk28&pp=ygUOYmFsbHMgb2Ygc3RlZWzSBwkJzQkBhyohjO8%3D

>>212961186
It's entirely wrong to not understand why people are drawn to charismatic characters in film, like you just have. Your arrogance prevents you from understanding the appeal of these characters are a big part of what makes these movies relatable, a key part of the satire and craft. No one is "missing the point" by recognizing the appeal of a character that's designed to draw people in. It's still possible to appreciate the whole film whilst loving flawed, or even evil characters for who they are.

Avoiding subjects and characters because the audience might not "get it" or they might like it too much, reeks of typical modern intellectual self censorship and a disdain and lack of appreciation of the audience. It's the same kind of attitude that leftists have when they decide to censor something because they're worried how people might react. They don't trust anyone to use their own judgment.

>Duke Nukum was always woke.
>t. troons

>movie ends up being a deconstruction of the macho 80 heroes that Duke is a homage to
>Duke learns how to be respectful to women

>>212966298
>connection required
>this video could offend some users
Get utterly bent jewtube

>>212960788 (OP)
>Wait for me Duke, don't forget your cousin, Jane Nukem!
>Time to rip off some dickheads and shit some female empowerment down their necks!

>>212966128
Racist faggot, there were as many bad games released then as there are now. Now the scope for depth, complexity and fun is so much higher. You just have to do your research to find what's good, just like with movies.

>>212960788 (OP)
This sound's like pure kino if true.

>Akshually Duke was always progressive and liberal

>>212966333
Revisionist leftists are their censorship is a big part of what's wrong with the industry. They should always be called or and crucified.

>>212966354
>Using jewgle Chrome.

Take the Brave pill , champion.

>>212960985
He's a love letter to the "toxic masculinity" of 80's action movies

>>212966421
I'm on firefox, it's jewtube restricting the video to force me to login

>>212966402
You can clearly see how Duke support the local, sex workers.

Bless his heart.

>>212961236
We Millennial chads killed it.

>>212966491
>millennials
>chads
No such thing exists

>>212966437
I really miss those type of films.

In the present the best we got some nu-male Jewslop

>>212961153
>Millennial writers believe that “depicting something” in a film/show is the same thing as endorsing it.
It absolutely is in practice. Intention doesn't matter.

>pig alien takes fat bitch hostage as human shield
>Duke Shoot'em shoots anyway
I'm already loling imagining it, it's gonna be great.

>>212966378
X

George Broussard is based.

>>212966774
For his defence.
She looked just like that grotesque pig monster.

>>212966378

>>212962196
I know most of his work is shit but Eli Roth is kinda based in a "dudebro you can have a beer and laugh with" kinda way

>>212965241
Do the voice!

>>212966361
This should happen

>>212961091
But I really did praise cool videogames tho. I understand shooting pig-aliens in strip clubs. I am not stupid or evil for not holding my nose over it. It's just good.

>>212966660
Blah blah blah Millennials are the reason everything is shit in entertainment. But not Zoomers , you guys are going to pump out nothing but solid gold..

>>212966361
nooooooo dont kill jester :(

>>212960788 (OP)
I played only duke nukem 3d, but a very long time ago. What would a Duke Nukem movie be about?

>>212960985
>satire of toxic masculinity.
Duke was a celebration of being a macho asshole.

>>212966491
These girls look minor-coded. Very problematic... smhtbh