How the fuck did it move around the school without being seen?

Read the books.

>>213006663
>read
Unc, what year do you think it is

>>213006616 (OP)
www.google.com

>>213006688
Oh i forgot, zoomies don't know how to read.

>>213006688
literally every book is available to read for free online, dumbass

>>213006616 (OP)
In the books, it was closer to this size

>>213006743
Probably this

fucking magic you idiot

I'm more troubled about the time travel

>>213006801
>>213006743
Wait so in the book it’s not some giant serpent, it’s just a bit more than a man sized snake?
I could actually picture a 10 year old HP killing that instead of the one in the movie

>>213006616 (OP)
I was bothered about this too
>dude le plumbing
As if those pipes are all the size of storm drains that you can walk through. And how did it come out of the fucking walls/floors?

zoomers are so doomed

>>213006663
I did read the books, but the writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>213008415
Time travel? The basilisk is just really old.

>>213008650
Imagine being filtered by Harry Potter.

>>213008650
again this pasta?

>>213008650
>reads a children book
>judges it on the level of an adult book
many such cases. which is why this pasta works so well retards.

>>213006616 (OP)
through the sewer pipe system.

it was seen, the people who saw it got paralyzed

>>213006616 (OP)
Because it slithered around at night when most of the kids were (supposed to be) in bed

Also just looking at it paralyzes you, thats why the few kids that did see it werent able to tell anyone else about it

>>213006663
I haven't read a book since 1997

>>213008435
It’s skeleton and shedding is described as “over 20 feet long” and it’s body “as thick as an oak trunk”. Take those proportions how you will.

>>213008677
No, I meant the device used in Prisoner of Azkaban. The Basilisk being fuckhueg is the least of the issues in these movies

>>213006616 (OP)
pipes

>>213008415
Why? It makes sense.

>>213009326
I think the time travel thing is just supposed to be somewhat funny. This is a kid's book about wizards going to school. The over-the-top bookworm having too many classes is obviously solved by time travelling. Rowling didn't really have any hard world building in mind when she wrote that, it was just british humour. I don't know at what point Harry Potter started taking its own silly world building seriously, but in the first few books it was just that, silly. The kids go to school by taking the train station between the train stations. The stairs in the magic castle randomly move around. People in paintings talk to you. It's mostly just whimsical nonsense. Of course it does not hold up under scrutiny, because it never really tried to.

>>213009947
Fair enough

>>213009947
I wish it kept going with this mindset. Harry Potter turning grimdark is the worst thing that happened to it. There's a reason the first few movies are the best. It all goes downhill after the fourth.

>>213010632
The movies going downhill is less fault of the books, but rather the new director from the 4th onward being a massive Hack that cut most of the important stuff from the books to add teenagers fillers like ron being Jelous 90% of the times, the important reveals like the one in the 5th book and everything involving the halfblood prince movie (like the cut off Voldermord’s whole backstory and his mother)

>>213009143
Looking at it actually kills you, the kids who were paralyzed were so because they looked at its reflection which had a lesser effect. Moaning Myrtle looked straight into its eyes and died.

>>213010632
>>213009947
im not a potterfag but I felt like I had this argument 1000x
>'Yea the first 2-3 movies had a lot of charm and colorful whimsy to them, they were fun. but then it gets dark, visually being my biggest complaint for some reason for some reason
>WELL YEA ITS SUPPOSED TO

>>213011436
wasnt the 3rd one directed by a Mexican who ditched the school robes and went with the 00s punk modern attire? fuck that foo

>>213011608
Nah not in that way. After all the first 2 did have their respective dark moments, especially 2, and the films had no problem portraying them while keeping an interesting magical visual.

>>213006616 (OP)
The pipes

>>213011564
oh right i thought it only killed you with direct eye contact

>>213008763
Imagine being such a newfag

why is everyone so fucking up on the logistics of a MAGICAL CREATURE moving around a MAGICAL CASTLE where the limits of space are frequently abused and stretched beyond imagination because of MAGIC?

>b-b-but the pipes arent big enough to house a snake that size!

ITS A FUCKING MAGIC CASTLE

FAGGOTS

bear in mind magic cant explain every nitpick but for this one it fucking should. retards

>>213011959
What nitpicks can the magic not explain?

>>213011959
>magic world of teleportation and advanced wizards
>one of 3 famous schools in this world attacked
>no one from around the world comes and helps but can teleport to some retarded world cup
>not even the parents or families of the students fighting voldermort pull up and help all those fucking kids
god what a stupid "fight"

>>213012003
It must have been wild hearing the news as a student of another wizarding school during those years.
>Shit, Hogwarts got attacked by a local terrorist for the sixth year in a row! What the fuck is going on in England?

>>213006616 (OP)
>It would just slither in.

>>213011959
There's such a thing as in-world logic. Just because they have magic doesn't mean everything can't make sense. Are you saying the basilisk magically altered the size of the pipes? Makes no sense.

>>213011608
My complaint isn't the darkness of the later books/films, but rather the post-hoc worldbuilding that was forced onto the series (both by the author and by the overzealous fans) that tried to turn a silly story about a wizard school into a serious world building exercise.

Pointing out that "hey, aren't the rules of quidditch a bit nonsensical?" is like saying "hey, don't you think that guy from Monty Python is walking kinda funny?"

>>213008650
>the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
it could be worse
they could be breaking their fast and the kids could be 10 and 6 years of age

>>213011608
It's absurd and soulless. One of the biggest casualties of le gritty realism era. The books weren't like that.

>>213012058
>>213012003
this was a better display of wizard magics fighting than anything harry potter put out, except maybe the 10 seconds of dumbledore using some cool spells in the 5th movie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dJijL3R5OU

>>213012063
you telling me slytherin didnt specifically allow for this kind of shit? or that the castle, which kind of has a mind of its own, wouldnt do it for shits and giggles?

come on now

>>213012063
I mean the real question is why they do even need pipes? Why they do need toilets? Why do they still need digestive systems? Point your wand at yourself and utter a spell and poof - no waste in your body! (unlike Rowling's description of them making their waste disappear *AFTER* they poop it for some reason)

>>213006663
What books?
Read the books!
What books?
You know there's something like too much testing

>>213009143
No it didn't. The whole school was coming from dinner when they saw Mrs Norris, so it was like 7 at the latest

>>213012197
>I mean the real question is why they do even need pipes? Why they do need toilets? Why do they still need digestive systems? Point your wand at yourself and utter a spell and poof - no waste in your body! (unlike Rowling's description of them making their waste disappear *AFTER* they poop it for some reason)
Considering that magical medicine is a whole discipline and that you don't learn self transfiguration till 6th year i'm gonna say that doing things like just vanishing your excrement without also vanishing your entire digestive tract is probably extremely tricky.
Perhaps they put in toilets because popping a squat like a jeet on a shitting street is uncivilized even when you vanish your waste, considering it's rowling and she's probably slightly (but still politely) racist against jeets i'd bet that's it.

To me Harry Potter was never as charming as picrel. It might be simply that a big budget Hollywood picture can't, by definition, be cozy, but it definitely lost something in the translation to the big screen.

>>213012197
I imagine a lot of kids are Muggle-Born and have been using toilets their whole life. I am not sure how advanced the spell for disappearing shit it, but if you are an 11 years old you've known about magic for a whole couple of months at the most, it might be easier to just continue life as is instead of suddenly dropping your pants in front of everyone.

>>213012270
nobody asked

>>213012334
But I told you anyway.

>>213008763
nigga thinks he's a better judge of writing than harold bloom

>>213012369
and you know what? i like that you have a comfort movie that you enjoy enough to post.

have a good day anon

>>213011436
>The movies going downhill is less fault of the books,
lol no, the books get progressively worse after the 3rd one because Rowling stopped giving a shit once she got rich and only kept writing them because of the insane demand

>>213012243
yes because that was the first night it was released (by ginny)

>>213006616 (OP)
ventilation shafts

>>213009234
That still sounds a fair bit smaller than the movie - at least in terms of weight

>>213008650
I still don’t get why he lied so brazenly.
The only time someone stretches their legs is when it’s done literally.

>>213006688
found the N

>>213011608
The whole "Growing up with its audience" thing was very smart marketing to say the least.

>>213012095
I think Gurrm is a worse writer than Rowling.

>>213010632
>>213011608
>>213012073
The thing that bugged me the most was all of the obvious retcons that started happening around the whole horcrux thing.
>what can destroy a horcrux
>uh... a basilisk tooth
>why?
>because Harry destroyed the diary with one
>wasn't that just because it was the only sharp thing nearby?
>NO IT'S BECAUSE BASILISK TEETH DESTROY HORCRUXES STOP ASKING QUESTIONS
The worst part is that every Harry Potter fan I knew absolutely refused to accept that it was a retcon, insisting it was all planned out meticulously from the start even though it's obvious how Rowling was cobbling together this nonsense on the fly.

>>213013562
Not sure if I'd call it a retcon but I sure is convenient.

>>213013592
It's convenience upon convenience, to the point that it stands out as very obvious to me that a lot of these concepts were either not thought of until later, or at the very least not fleshed out with any specifics until it became absolutely necessary. The moment the series needs serious worldbuilding and connections, you start getting this whole big series of, "Remember X? Yeah, it had a second hidden meaning/purpose that I totally didn't make up just now."

>>213013562
Wow you're so clever

Poke more holes in this hole-riddled childrens series, genius

Tell me why the weasleys had an oven

Why did they have a clock
Who made the gears
Poke more holes smart guy, you cant stop now

>>213013725
>Wow you're so clever
No, what I actually said is that it's painfully obvious how bad the retcons are and only retarded simps blinded by fandom can't see it.

>>213006616 (OP)
the pipes were literally built by slytherin to accommodate it. the creature was bred there on purpose in the chamber of secrets by salazar slytherin and meant to be able to travel around the school doing the bidding of the heirs of slytherin.

>>213013562
Slight "retcons" like this don't actually bother me. At least the author didn't start claiming various characters were LGBT years later, right?

>>213009947
The books mirror the UK secondary education years from 11 to 18. The early books are intended to appeal to little kids with whimsical toutches of school life. The later ones are pitched at young adults who are facing massive changes in their lives as they step into adulthood.
The reason so many people on here have difficulty with this concept is that they never entered adulthood in any meaningful way and still exit in a state of perpetual childhood where the biggest crisis they face is running out of tendies.

>>213006740
anon, zoomers (and by extension Gen alpha) have access to more human history and information than any point in time on a device small enough to fit in their pockets yet they choose to remain ignorant and uneducated

>>213010632
>Harry Potter turning grimdark is the worst thing that happened to it
yup. everytime I try to rewatch the movies I usually check out by the 4th because that’s really when the whimsical childlike wonder is replaced with “le epic edgy and grimdark drama”

>>213008650
>DEH!

>>213010632
I appreciate that that's what happened since it reflects the kid growing up. At first everything is whimsical and fun magic, then as they get older and closer to adulthood things become edgier and more sinister.

>>213012003
The scope is stupidly british centric it is comically
Voldy is regarded as ‘one of the baddest dark lord’ but outside of England nobody gave a shit saving for a few, like 5 people
Voldy best feat is also going around with his bad boy gangs killing random muggles or wizards, but i guess that is the most horrifying shit a brit could face these days lol

>>213013562
It was a retcon, sure, but a pretty sensible one in my eyes. Basiliscs are powerful 1000 year old magical beings with venomous teeth, them being able to destroy a horcrux makes some amount of sense. Harry stabbing the diary with a teeth was a bit silly anyway, he could have just torn it apart. I'm not saying Rowling is some genius foreshadowing writer (she very obviously isn't), but Harry stabbing the diary with a venomous teeth implies that it was in some way, shape or form a magical artefact that couldn't easily be destroyed otherwise. Be that a horcrux or just a random magical diary.

>>213012531
yeah like in the arkham games

>>213006663

>>213013562
You literally don't know what a retcon is. When we're first told of Horcruxes, we're told the basilisks fangs can destroy them, as it had previously done.

>>213013999
The retcon is that the diary was a horcrux, a concept that to our knowledge by the time of book 2 did not exist. It is a retcon by the very definition of the word (retroactively adding information that was not originally there), but it's not a bad retcon.

>>213013999
The diary was retconned into being a horcrux, which in turn retroactively creates the very convenient situation in which the closest sharp thing to Harry just so happened to be one of the only few things in the entire world capable of destroying the thing that the diary happened to be. It's all a retcon. The original scene was, "Harry stabs a cursed diary with a nearby sharp object to destroy it." The whole horcrux thing wasn't in the picture, the idea of only a couple items in the world being able to destroy it wasn't in the picture. The diary became a horcrux because it fit the concept she just thought of while writing a much later book, and basilisk teeth were a way to destroy horcruxes only because the diary had been destroyed with one and it made for a convenient macguffin to go back for.

It used the pipes read the books dude

>>213014157
>the closest sharp thing to Harry just so happened

You make a whole lot out of this but it wasnt the closest sharp object. The sword was. So now your entire theory has fallen apart.

Moreover, it was thoroughly established that basilisks have extremely potent powers.

>>213014294
In that moment, Harry had no reason to pick the fang over the sword. No thought went into that on his part at all, it's just the first thing he grabbed in a rush to stab the diary. And then we find out much, much later that he just so happened to luckily pick one of the only few objects on the entire planet capable of destroying a horcrux (which the diary obviously never was until much later when it was retconned).

>>213014157
>the idea of only a couple items in the world being able to destroy it
I mean, horcruxes are not that hard to destroy, just gotta hit it with enough magic. Some random slytherin dude destroyed a horcrux with a particularly strong fire spell in book 7. I agree it is a bit convenient that a basilisc tooth could destroy it, but then again, why wouldn't a basilisc tooth be destructive enough to destroy it?

>>213006688
I forgot we live in The Idiocracy right now.

>>213012095
>Potter takes a shit on the floor and makes it disappear with his wand
>Mother of Burger shits liquid shit for a whole day
For once there really is a difference in the types of shit you read.

>>213012270
Rolling is such a hack. HP is just WW with a boi and with retarded autism 'realistic' worldbuilding.

>>213011436
>less fault of the books
I don't know about the BTS stuff, but even as a kid I remember reading the 4th book and wondering why Harry was an angry jerk the whole time and just the general misery of it. A third of the book is spent on petty jealousies and teenage drama anon.

>>213013756
>fandom can't see it
what the previous anon is saying is that any average kid sees through the flimsy worldbuilding but they don't care because they're busy enjoying the book. This isn't War and Peace.

>>213013765
>whole castle is a terrarium for Salazar's pet snake

cute

Was Harry Potter an incel?

>>213011959
The snek wasn't so big in the book, I don't think.

>>213016170
He was gay for Ron but had to settle for his sister.

>>213013975

>>213006663
>Read the books.
This is about the movie, not the book adaptation. It has to stand on its own. Same with LotR, the movies were so fucking disjointed that they had to write tomes upon tomes later to explain all the plotholes (still very poorly).

>>213006616 (OP)
IN HERMIONES SNATCH

>>213016356
>not Snitch
One job, Anon. One job.

>>213006616 (OP)
am I the only one seeing it

>>213015368
Ever met a teenager?

>>213015368
The mid-school year depression pattern repeats itself since at least the 2nd book when everyone at the school thinks Harry is the heir of Slytherin. It consistently reappears throughout the series, it's not like Rowling suddenly decided to invent it to make the books darker or something

>>213014938
Harry Potter is basically a female character anyways. His character is that of a tomboyish girl at best. When you analyze his thoughts and personality you realize he just thinks like a girl.

Harry Potter is basically one big giant fever dream, I swear to god. No way wizard infrastructure can exist next to normie infrastructure like that.

>>213013958
Tooth, the word for a single teeth is tooth

>>213008650
>people can't immediately recognise this post for what it is by the simple mention of "stretched his legs"
What a sad and sorry state 4chan is in

>>213017531
I like to think they're two overlapping realities that cancel each other out when necessary. Step into a forest the wrong way and suddenly you have giant spiders running after you.

>>213012270
Love this show as a kid. Had a crush on a few of the girls. But yeah Snape is basically a genderbent Miss Hardbroom.

>>213016356
Well it certainly can't get around in her car anymore.

>Tom Riddle can physically manifest, interact with everything in Hogwarts and command the Basilisk
>He needs Ginny in the walls for and to monologue his master plan to 'ARRY POTTAH some reason
Chamber of Secrets is the worst movie in the franchise, including the Fantastic Beasts trilogy.

>>213008435
>I could actually picture a 10 year old HP killing that instead of the one in the movie
i assure you it was written as shitty as in the movie, deus ex machina, everything is conveniently resolved by itself

>>213006743
>The enormous serpent, bright, poisonous green, thick as an oak trunk

>>213017497
Not only harry, every male character in Rowling's book does think like a girl. When Ron sees Hagrid dating that half-giant woman his first thought is about their potential children for example.
Rowling's characters are very good overall but i guess its a natural limitation. Men also portray women from their personal point of view.

>>213018444
this, another moment was when Harry was jumped by Malfoy, then
>It was a testament to their friendship that Ron didn't laugh at all
In reality guy friends would take the piss out of each other.

>>213006616 (OP)
He stretched his legs calmly

>>213018444
Harry, the protagonist, is actually a female hero in the
way his sexual introspection and romantic life plays out. In other words, Rowling lacks the power of imagination to put herself in male shoes and try to understand male sexuality. No sixteen-year-old boy is ever “confused” about his attraction to a girl, but Harry is. Harry, as the sixteen year old captain of a winning sports team, stands there dumbfounded and surprised as his sassy, outgoing love interest grabs him and kisses him in the middle of a victory party. In real life what generally happens is that the sports star is the one who grabs the girl he likes and kisses her. Rowling switches the roles.

Rowling tells us that men should act like women, and passively wait around for the girls they like to decide to act like high status men and jump their bones. This makes men frustrated and angry, because if you want a woman to actually jump your bones, you have to sexually tease and torment her until she can’t stand it, which is quite the opposite of a fifteen-year-old man brooding because he can’t understand the feeling of sexual jealousy, which Harry does. If you read Harry as a female protagonist in a romance novel, however, you get great insights into female sexuality. Harry doesn’t notice girls until they pay attention in some small way towards him. But not too much, because he is turned off by Ginny’s thirsty little girl crush until Ginny becomes more aloof and starts fucking other men. He is disgusted when Cho Chang breaks down crying on their date, because a girl would be disgusted in the same way by a man doing it, because Rowling is disgusted by it. Whereas when a man sees a girl display this vulnerability, the protective instinct starts to fire up. Harry is a cuck, because he doesn’t start getting really interested in a girl until he becomes jealous of said girl fucking another man. This is called preselection, and it’s how female sexuality works.

>>213006616 (OP)
The better question is what was so special about this creature?
A kid killed it, a few trained wizards could easily decimate it

>>213018738
all true. I fucking hate the 5th book for many reasons

what does he eat and to whomstve does he pay the yearly fee

>>213008650
He may have been lying about the "stretched his legs" part, but his criticisms over this piece of shit book series is 100% accurate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyU8qJXpJ-I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEPDLFSUPe0

Bloom is fucking hilarious.

Disguised itself as a youth pastor.

Anyone else felt like Rowling was writing without a plan on how to finish her books? They are like a detective mystery but nothing thought the book is connected to the finale, main example is Moody sUdDeNlY revealed to be a shape shifter at the end of the 4th book just to explain everything that was going on

>>213019270
yea the Hallows was like a very late addition and the horcruxes retcon

>>213017812
You're a retard. Riddle couldn't physically manifest until the very end when he was draining Ginny's life force.