Imagine she has explosive diarrhea in the middle of her speech. She tries to keep her composure best she can but the stomach ache is too much. She falls on her knees in front of lowly humans, exposing her silver butthole to the cameras. Her farts and squirts echo from every speaker, from every direction. Her once pristine surfboard dripping brown liquid. She covers her face in shame as she begs Galactus for forgiveness. She eventually loses control of the board, crashes into a filthy sidewalk.
The last thing she sees before losing consciousness is a crowd gathering around her, covering their noses, looking down on her in disgust.

I want India's access to the Internet to be revoked.

>>213075161 (OP)
Why does a reflective metal woman need eye shadow?

I can save her

>>213075277
The entirety of female social power runs on the engine of male approval. Women will paint themselves as clowns and then strut around, mocking eachother for having less male clout at their disposal.

>>213075205
i want india to be revoked

>>213075161 (OP)
>chrome person

I cant believe they dont call her she/her or even Silver Surfer once in this whole movie

>>213075677
She's an alien, why would she have an alter ego? That's a cuck earthling thing.

gib shiny gf

>>213075677
They literally refer to her as a woman the entire time, you retard.

>>213075161 (OP)
It's more hot when it's peeing because it comes from the genitals

>>213075742
Bros, what would it feel like? Does she Evan have one?

>>213075742
Is there any in-universe reason why silver surfer is a woman or is it just pure coomerbait

>>213075786
she volunteered to find planets for galactus to eat if he spare her planet.
i think they just wanted more women in the main cast, it's really just Sue and her.

>>213075786
It's not the main timeline/earth, so they can justify using the one female surfer that technically does exist in the comics.
Her origin is that she offered galactus to be his herald in exchange for sparing her homeworld (really her daughter).

*surfs a black hole in your path*

>>213075161 (OP)
The Silver Surfer doesn't eat so she wouldn't have diarrhea. Additionally, she has perfect health at all times.

>>213075277
>Why does a reflective metal woman need eye shadow?
̶O̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶w̶o̶m̶e̶n̶ ̶the patriarchy will mercilessly chastise her if she doesn't conform to social norms.

>>213075786
They wanted to do a version of the story where Johnny is the one that wins her over to betraying Galactus, and I think they felt that worked best if he had some kind of romantic interest in/attraction to her. The surfer has also been female in the comics (it's technically a different character) so it's not unprecedented.

>>213075859
This was actually the coolest scene in the movie.

>>213075964
I do find it funny that women are simultaneously the greatest detractors and rabid vanguard of social orthodoxy.

>>213075987
You mean everything else in the film is less cool than that?

>>213076043
I mean that's 14 seconds of the whole scene I'm talking about but yes.

>>213076043
yeah it's a pretty mediocre film. not bad, but nothing outstanding.

>>213075594
Male power runs on female approval as well. Look at islamic countries, for example.
Why do you think they always end up as shitholes?
Because when women don't have rights, men stop trying.

Can't even blame them, why would you build roads when you can rape your 3 wives all day?

>>213076219
I agree, except for the part about it not being bad.
it was definitely at least quite bad.

>>213076251
You're implying the US was a shithole until the 1920s?

>>213076316
Yes

>>213076380
And you're not simply conflating technological progression with the women's suffrage movement?

>>213075277
>>213075594
>>213075964
It's just a neat design, you spergs.

>>213076316
US, at the very least, had a family that would protect their daughter/sister/etc.
Muslims, meanwhile, will gladly stone their own daughter after dunking her face first in acid if some durka rapes her to satisfy his sexual emergency.

>>213075161 (OP)
Honestly, not even the worst thread on the front page.

>>213076316
Even the most backwards era of the west gave women some wiggle room, just enough to keep men in competition. The total incel utopia that is middle east provides zero insentive to grow.
Women are already slaves, no reason to earn their respect, no reason to work, just sit at home all day and rape 'em.

But this wasn't a supposed to be a discussion about muh west.
My point is: All social power is based on sex. Humans are wired to constantly seek approval of the opposite sex, that's what motivates us, that's what advances society.

>>213075161 (OP)
based pastashitposter, this made my day

>>213075817
lol at the token black woman they kept cutting to for diversity.

>>213075859
dude thats fuckin sick

>>213075920
Nobody cares about muh comic book accuracy, nerd.
Stop messing with my visionary take on the character.

>>213075742

>4 billies in India

>>213075161 (OP)
>Imagine she has explosive diarrhea in the middle of her speech
Wow, lol, anon you're so random!
*holds up spork*

>>213078173
It's a carefully crafted fetish-fic, nothing about it is random

She is the hottest character i have ever seen in a movie since that girl from Tron Legacy, holy shit i want her chrome butthole for dinner