Thread 213321595

How the fuck do they not include Luke on any of the Star Wars merch?

>slopwars
Grow up

>>213321595 (OP)
bruh kinda zesty lowkey

>>213321595 (OP)
Royalties I’m guessing. I wanted to say because they’re all prequel characters but Leia’s there and she dead, so it sort of makes sense

>coke
disney can't even do promotional tie ins correctly

>>213321595 (OP)
>starslop
grow up

>>213321595 (OP)
it's on the bottle version of Coke ZERO yuck

>>213321618
>>213321664
>defending megacorps
grow up

>>213321595 (OP)
>slopslops
grow up

>>213321663
>>213321595 (OP)
soul vs. soulless

>>213321695
Starslop is part of a megacorp. Why do you care about it?

>>213321595 (OP)
>HFCSlop

>>213321744
Truth nuke

>>213321595 (OP)
Mark Hamill is an unhinged lunatic who sits on twitter all day talking exclusively about Trump and literally nothing else. Putting his face on Coke would lead to another Bud Light situation and Coke doesn't want to lose profits due to some retard's political takes.
Notice how every other actor they feature is PR friendly. They don't sit on twitter all day seething about politics or they are dead.
Every time Mark Hamill says something unhinged, Coke would have to deal with the controversy.

>>213321844
That or he wants money and is covered under an old contract about having his likeness used under license and they’re a bunch of cheap Jews

>>213321844
Thankfully Yoda is not on twitter.

>>213321595 (OP)
I thought Yoda was pro ketamine, why is he supporting Coke?

Why no Harrison Ford? He’s a good goy..er half

>>213321595 (OP)
Nobody has ever given a single fuck about luke starwars. It's always been about Vader and the funny aliens.

>>213321986
Release the Epstein Files, Trump should. Hmmm

>>213321595 (OP)
Because with those vague silhouettes they can probably get away with not paying Rosario Dawson and Hayden Christiansen whereas Luke nevessitates more of his face.
Same reason all Marvel branded food is just the masked heroes and cgi characters

>>213322108
Nah. The original crew had better contracts and would have to get paid as opposed to latecomers who sold their souls and use of their likenesses in perpetuity. OG crew can be used after they die. Seems pretty obvious

>>213321595 (OP)
Unironically merchandising/licensing rights.

>>213321595 (OP)
Luke is so 1970s. We’ve evolved.

>>213321595 (OP)
Why are they doing that is there a new movie coming out?

>>213321595 (OP)
Luke is on the Yoda can...

>>213321663
>Windu's can not being purple
You had one job

>>213322536
Yes, they repackaged the aborted season 4 of The Mandalorian as a movie.

>>213321595 (OP)
He is in the Coke Bottle version.

I feel like a badass drinking Darth Maul coke, it hits better than regular coke

>>213321663
damn, Mace be detecting all sorts of niggahs

>>213321595 (OP)
I wonder how well Leia's version would sell if the angle in the depicted scene was an ass shot.

>>213321595 (OP)

Because he was "The Hero" and a perfect version of it.
His story in the OT was perfectly executed. He was the ultimate good guy. And he won, in the end, by refusing to slay his father.

I don't know if it's KK, if it's the revolving chair of little hat CEOs, or if it's any number of the neo-feminists, their "male allies," or Minoritieam members. But they cannot allow Luke any screentime or advertising, because suddenly White Men take center stage once again.
I mean, look at what happened in the season finale of Mandalorian S2: Luke saved the day and sent every Star Wars fan into a frenzy. Even people who AREN'T fans of Stars Wars tuned in, even if they didn't watch The Mandalorian.

TL;DR
The new owners of Star Wars want to have a new face of the franchise that is not a White Male Hero. They are fine with a white male being a villain, but they've desperately tried to fill the Hero Face role with anyone that isn't Luke, or his archetype.

>>213321595 (OP)
For me? It's Maul

>>213321595 (OP)
>ahsoka
grim

>>213322081
>Luke
>Luuuke
>You will go to the Epstein Island
The Epstein Island?
>There you will learn from Clin-ton, the pedo master who bad-touched me

>>213322756
tfw no andor coke bottle

>>213321844
Do you think Trump is in the Epstien files anon?

>>213322744
He didn't have a lightsaber until Episode II.