Thread 213420851

So trve

>>213420851 (OP)
the "marrying a childhood friend" trope is garbage anyway

chronically unhappy "smart" chick has performative polycule lesbian relationship before realizing she's just asexual and marries longtime simp

>>213421053
the "trying to find connections after 20" trope is too real, tho

>>213421120
After 2011, you mean.

Rock!

Baskin bitch

>>213421097
The truth is everyone is asexual and the only reason anyone is ever in any kind of relationship is social pressure.

>>213420851 (OP)
Anything is better than marrying Milhouse but unfortunately he's the writers's self-insert while Lisa is their waifu

>>213421053
nah ive known my wife since she was 13 anc i was 16 weve been married almost 20 years and i couldnt be any happier; meanwhile most people i know my age from school or public encounters dont have any kids, even younger people in my family too
pretty weird but whatever makes you happy

>>213422072
so you're admitting to being a pedophile, okay @FBI

>>213422108
2003 was 22 years ago how does my almost 40 year ols wife make me a pedophile

>>213421452
damn did your parents divorce early or was your dad just never around

>>213422262
You groomed a literal child. Disgusting.

>>213420851 (OP)
>Bart face with lesbians : grrrr
>Bart face with Memehouse: meh ok

is Bart Based?

>>213422072
>ive known my wife since she was 13
wtf

>>213422072
holy fuck someobody check this guy's harddrive and roll out the woodchipper

>>213422287
no? she asked me to rollerskate with her and we held hands and the next day we went to the mall and i let her beat me in marvel vs capcom 2 then i bought us chic fil a and she asked me to be her boyfriend
the next weekend we ate cordies at my best friends house and watched austin powers 2 and the southpark movie. i didnt know it but she actually snuck out to come overwith her neighbor who was my friends girlfriend, and her mom called the police. later that night we had phone sex and im pretty sure her brother was listening on the other house phone
like 4 days later she snuck out again and we watched the sky at the park behind my parenrs house and she tried to give me a blowjob but i got nervous and we just hugged for awhile
such good times, way better than our meth addiction arc and the time we almost burned down our house with fireworks(that was scary)

>>213421120
>trying to find connections after 20"
I havent had any meaningful connections with a girl since I graduated high school.

>>213422597
Based

>>213422072
>ive known my wife since she was 13
Law enforcement has been made aware.

>>213422333
always was

>>213422333
He's just jelly of his sister

>>213420851 (OP)
80% of lesbians relationships are abusive with the older woman physically beating the younger woman.

>>213421452
I get into relationships because a woman's vagina feels good on my penis and especially when I cum in her

>>213422820
I have seen this first hand in a diner parking lot, it was pretty upsetting.

>>213422945
A month-old rat thinks those same thoughts

>>213422072
If you're not baiting congrats you won

>>213422945
In english doc

>>213422945
what did he mean by this?

>>213422981
>it was pretty upsetting.
Was the food bad?

>>213423334
No, my mom used to yell at my dad alot and it made me have a nasty flashback and gave me indigestion.

>>213420851 (OP)
I'll never care because I stopped watching simpsons decades ago

>>213422072

Do you have kids? How do you tell them how mom and dad met?

>>213422993
sounds like a pretty smart rat

>>213422597
>meth addiction arc and the time we almost burned down our house with fireworks(that was scary)

Story?

>>213423913
two
funny you ask that the skating rink we met at is still there and we take them there every third tuesday and we sit at the table her and i used to always sit at
walking through that door with her is like traveling back in time it feels so amazing

>>213424104
>funny you ask that the skating rink we met at is still there and we take them there every third tuesday and we sit at the table her and i used to always sit at

Awwwww how cute

>>213424095
shes been on adderall since like 8 years old or someshit and like 10 years ago we got tired of doing cocaine and one of my laborers for my mason crew was a pagan and he had really good meth so we started doing that and it got really crazy, shadow people, 17 hour sex sessions in hotels(we always made a huge mess it was better to just pay 70 bucks for a room instead of cleanibg the house especially after she got into anal) it ended up with me punching through a giant plate glass window and almost having my right arm amputated
as for the fire works that was just a freak accident when my sister and her husband came over, sparks ignited a tree near the house and part of the porch roof caught. we didnt notice because it was on the orher side of the house and we had a bonfire going, we barely caught it in time

>>213422597
>meth addiction arc
wow and I was almost happy for you fucking degens

>>213422072
My wife is 3 months older than me and we first met when I was 12 and she was already 13.
Knowing people for a long time prevents nasty surprises.

>>213421053
Throughout all of human history you were very likely to marry someone that you had known for a long time. The modern bullshit about finding some stranger that magically gels with you is a fantasy.

>>213420851 (OP)
Modern women make me feel physically repulsed. They spend years being a slut sucking random strangers dicks as society puts them on a pedestal and they are given insane privileges all the while playing the victim. Recently a woman told me about how her life basically became easy mode once she became attractive in high school, how people immediately began to treat her nicely and gave her anything she wanted. Now she's turning 26 and hitting the wall and is starting to notice a difference, a lack of interest, an invisibility. I can't tell you my satisfaction of seeing this bitch's whole world collapse around her. Now she has to cake herself up in makeup and take numerous pills to stop her body from decaying from her degenerate drug and alcohol fueled lifestyle. Women are evil in its purest forms.

>>213424340
yea i practically have an arranged marraige for my 9 year old son, barring any insanity, to one of my friends' daughter whose 15 months older and super smart. they like each other and play nice together
i joke about it with her mom and dad
not sure about my daughter shes a total asshole sometimes and will probably make several boys miserable.

>>213424450
>>213424441
>>213424230
>>213423725
>>213422820
>>213422945
>>213422597
>>213422072
>>213421097
>>213420851 (OP)
bot thread

>>213424512
kill yourself retard

>>213424512
hows that?

>>213424230
>shes been on adderall since like 8 years old

Yikes.

>we got tired of doing cocaine

Gotta admit, that’s a first. Never heard of anyone getting bored of cocaine.

>17 hour sex sessions in hotels(we always made a huge mess it was better to just pay 70 bucks for a room instead of cleanibg the house especially after she got into anal)

Don’t tell me, your kids weren’t conceived during one of those orgies (well I guess not really since it just involved two people, but you get the idea).

I hope you cleaned up before you did too much damage.

>>213424667
nah my daughter was conceived during a camping trip outside red cliff colorado way after we got clean and my son was conceived on valentines day i cannguarantee that and damage was done she had a miscarraige a two days before thanksgiving with our first(we were clean for about 5 months, she was at 14 weeks) but it was likely due to her hormonal problems she has an issue with her thyroid. holy god that was a terrible time. the worst part was the mail
we were getting congratulations cards for a month, my dad bought a crib and shipped it for early christmas it wass fucking awful i had to filter the mail because it was so wracking for both of us and everytime she saw a colored envelope in the mailbox she had a ptsd moment and started crying for like 4 months
not fun at all

>>213420851 (OP)
Yeah because there are so many successful polyamorous lesbian relationships

>>213424230
>almost having my right arm amputated

How did you manage to do that?

>>213424880
sorry about the miscarriage, just know that it literally WAS your fault.

>>213421053
Nah, the emotional intimacy of the CF trope is peak, and you're a faggot.

>>213425004
9'x15' plate glass window
it turned into a waterfall and fell on my arm. i had chunks of glass 18 inches long and 6 inches wide stabbed into me. i woke up 2 days later in icu with 74 staples and my dad bitching at me
if anything; look up plate glass window injuries, it will totally fuck you up if it breaks near you
>>213425028
i know
i had to work and she went for an ultrasound and her friend drove her, and the doctors convinced her to get a flu shot despite her NEVER getting one before.
if i was there she wouldnt have gotten the shot. this has been a recurring conversation ive had to deal with for almost 12 years and i think about it daily, but it did send home the message of avoiding the corona vax when that came around.

>>213420851 (OP)
It's a college slut joke, Lisa hit rock bottom in her dyke studies career and then was damaged goods and had to marry Milhouse.

>>213424880
>we were getting congratulations cards for a month, my dad bought a crib and shipped it for early christmas it wass fucking awful i had to filter the mail because it was so wracking for both of us and everytime she saw a colored envelope in the mailbox she had a ptsd moment and started crying for like 4 months

Oh yeah that’s bad, my grandfather died just before his birthday and we had the same thing. Birthday cards and calls coming in and we had to tell them over the phone that he was gone.

>>213420851 (OP)
They didn't have to mog Bart so hard in this scene. I remember watching this as a kid and even then I knew it was wrong. Like it would be one thing if Lisa just has a girlfriends like "haha she's even better at getting pussy than Bart what a loser Bart is" but no they have to give her a harem with mixed archetypes like some kind of wish fulfillment anime. I mean imagine being Bart here who is implied to be an incel basically and he has to watch his sister (who he hates) have threesomes with two dimes every night. And then we fast forward even more into the future and Bart is completely mentally and spiritually broken partially as a result of this sexual humiliation. It's too fucking much for a cartoon.

JigC it's your cramberts!
Happy fund trust baskin!

>>213425323
What the the fuck does that mean?