How does this have a 95% on Rotten Tomatoes? It wasn't a bad movie, but it certainly was THAT good.

*wasn't THAT good
Fuck

Everything looks like citizen kane after you see fantastic four

I knew it was going to be a banger

>>213469315
The jumpscares were good

>witchslop
I shan't be watching

>>213469118 (OP)
The script was ass

killing doctor strange sidekick

i won't be watching

>>213469118 (OP)
Rotten tomatoes score doesn’t rate how good a movie is. It rates what percent of people like the movie. 95% means 95% of reviewers gave it a positive review not that they all think it’s a 95 out of 100.

>>213469118 (OP)
Why are they running like that? Why that pose?

>Rotten tomatoes
I'm assuming it pushes hatred of Christians? Attacks the bible belt whites? Pro immigration?

I haven't seen it, how's my aim?

>>213469801
The old lady was scarier

>>213469844
it's the naruto pose

>>213469853

It takes place in PA. From what I've read it mainly just takes "parents vs teachers" from the culture war. The event was compared to a school shooting in one review, but I don't know if the movie really tries to push that theme/comparison.

>>213470033
There's a blatant allegory to school shootings. They aren't subtle at all.

>It wasn't a bad movie
That's what rotten tomatoes measures. 95% of reviewers thought it wasn't bad.

>>213469853
it's gun reform propaganda

>>213469853
Old white women use children to get guns banned in America

>>213469118 (OP)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRGrNDV2mKc&list=PLDHNzuioIg0tA0dKS_F7L6cB9ZuI2oX26&index=2
Is it like the Korn musicvideo?

They released the movie on the day Trevor died I just realized. This movie was written in honor of Trevor

Has moist kritical reviewed it yet? I agree with his takes more than anybody

>>213470751
hes going to like it likely

>>213469118 (OP)
Just came back from seeing it and I feel like the final act should’ve been like at least 20 minutes longer to explain the motivations of the villain.
The witch thing is never explained and the ending feels kinda rushed.
First half of the movie is good though.

>>213469118 (OP)
drop magnet link

>>213469118 (OP)
It has an 82 on Metacritic, a bit closer to what you're thinking.
RT is sometimes less an indicator of the level of praise and more of how divisive something is, or not.
It's possible for a movie to have a 100% RT score even if every review gives it a 7/10 or 3 stars out of 5

>>213470540
It's available to watch in some early forms today but its official release date is tomorrow

>>213470811
They kept making references to parasites, I wish they explained that more. The witch was obviously using the possessed people for energy/youth, but why does she still turn into that weird creature in the woods/dream sequence?

>>213470083
With something like Barbarian, it's extremely obvious that the point of the movie is 'Justin Long's character is actually the real barbarian'. Apart from a giant spooky AR-15 in the sky which never comes up again, I have no idea if there is a thematic point to this movie besides spooky clowns scare me. Witches have been absorbing the life energy of children since before guns were invented. There's no real allusions to any sort of common sense witch control. The kids can't be the weapons because then they would be conducting a shooting against themselves. And then girl Silver Surfer saves everyone...with a gun. Really the only angle I can think of is how comically nonplussed multiple characters are about what would be presumed to be mass child death or black tar zombies right in front of them. Wong has like zero reaction to Pennywise the Dancing Clown showing up in his office and then goes home to watch Netflix. The gas station clerk just does not give a fuck about Wong trying to eat people in the store. So maybe this is a metaphor for how no one really cares any more if there's a news cycle when libtards piss and shit themselves calling for gun control, but that's certainly a stretch interpretation.

>>213470083

Is the witch Gronald Grlumphg

>wow you need to be really high iq to understand the nuances of this blatant public manipulation propaganda

>>213469118 (OP)
>How does this have a 95% on Rotten Tomatoes?
RT score is pointless. Someone else already pointed out how it works but it got worse over the past decade. Looking at the top list only a couple films per year would reach 100% until the late 00's. Then in the early '10s they went full retard with the slop deluge.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_with_a_100%25_rating_on_Rotten_Tomatoes

It's also very anti cop
the cop cheats on his wife and commits police brutality

>>213469829
>>213469118 (OP)
RT is only a reflection of how many paid reviews the movie got

>people still think 95% on tomatoes means the movie got 95/100 rating from the critics
why are people so retarded?

>>213470540
>in honor
more like in a Satanic ritual Cregger made to get himself a career in Hollywood
the witch in Weapons is a metaphor for Cregger himself doing a ritual to hypnotize studio executives into thinking he is a genius
he is gloating

>>213473007
The system is that anything higher than a ~5/10 is fresh. Which means a film can have 100% with all 6/10 ratings. But that's the ideal situation, often reviewers don't have x/10 rating system, or any rating system at all. As I understand a lot of the Tomatoer Approved critics actually assign a fresh / rotten rating to their review themselves, I don't know how it works, like if they just tell it to the RT admin in an email or if they have special "critic accounts". But this is only specific cases and usually the admins have to "interpret" the rating themselves. They also inflated their critic database to insanity. They count Doug Walker, MovieBlob, Grace Randolph and such people as "critics" now. Literally anyone with a YouTube channel or a blog. And it's been going for a while. Even in the old RT anyone with a blog could have been counted as a critic, for example they had Chris Chan's half-brother (not a joke) on their database for a while, he isn't some critic writing for any outlet, he literally just had his own film reviewing blog for a long time.

>>213473236
Don’t think there’s anyone left who actually thinks that, but since RT is part of every marketing campaign, shills will act like that’s what it means.

>>213470956
you could always check avg rating in addition to % but they removed that and that's retarded

>>213473670
>Don’t think there’s anyone left who actually thinks that
imagine typing that with a straight face in a thread like this one

>>213473757
Yes, I’m saying that with a straight face in an obvious paid shill thread.

Is it better than Barbarian?

>>213473868
>obvious paid shill thread.
God forbid, someone make a post about new movies instead of making the same off topic/twitter/reddit screenshot threads.

>>213473904
Anon everyone shills here. Even bane was pushed by shills to market tdkr. The Harry Potter threads are paid for. The mspaint breaking bad comics were pushed by shills.

It’s time to wake up.

>>213473892
I liked it more. And I know this sounds crazy if you read the leaked script but it's honestly way less on the nose with its allegory. I don't think the way the story is structured is gonna be for everyone though.

>>213470373
thumbnail looks lewd...

>>213469118 (OP)
What's the twist. I'm not watching this shit

>>213473965
Seconded, can someone just spoil this movie?

Preferably a big scene by scene run through thx

do gay guys actually have lunches of like 6 hot dogs and a vegetable platter though

>>213474003
What's weird is they only had mustard on the hot dogs. No ketchup or bbq sauce too

>Running themes of being pricked by needles constantly coming up
>Running theme of parasites constantly coming up
>The fucking AR-15 above the house
what does this movie mean man

>>213474169
Drugs are bad, guns are bad, parasites are bad

>>213474169
It's literally an anti-gun movie.

>chuds are already calling it woke
Lmao

I don't think the movie benefited from the non-linear storytelling. It made everything really predictable because it was very easy to predict how each character got to the point they tease in the prior character's story, so you're just left waiting for the inevitable obvious thing that caused that character to end up that way, so the mystery element fell flat in that aspect. Alex's story being told out of order was the only one that made sense, the rest might as well have happened chronologically and the movie probably would've benefited.

>>213470998
>but why does she still turn into that weird creature in the woods/dream sequence?
That wasn't a creature, that was just her.

>>213469118 (OP)
people say this is a comedy
is this another Malignant?

>>213473111
>commits police brutality
Although it may not be the writer's intent, I had sympathy for the cop. His burst of anger was justifiable from being jabbed by the syringe in the pocket. Scaring him off from the station was less justifiable but a real moment of human weakness which was sparked by the junkie not warning him about the syringe in the first place.

>>213471580
No child she isn't, that would be plagiarism. Enjoy prison.

I was expecting a more Tarantino style ending with that climactic scene, instead what we got was rather boring. It was pretty funny though, and only someone with a background in comedy could come up with that. Good job Zach.

>>213474823
What was she actually even doing out there anyway, I thought the whole point was that she was in the house and the kid had to do everything as her proxy

>>213469118 (OP)
>tfw asked my buddy to go see this but he said he already had tickets and planned to see it with his gf
fucking normies...

>>213475043
Well he had been in the house, so I think she was trying to track him down before he reported to the police.

>>213474001
>>213473965
>>213473904
This is how you know it’s a paid shill thread

>>213475270
>junkie sees two people on the couch
>steals their forks in front of them the same ones they stabbed themselves in the face with

why was there so much advertising for coke and campbells soup

>>213475500
They gotta be able to afford to pay indian shills on /tv/

Are people going to start crustposting about this movie when the webrip comes out?

>>213474169
>what does this movie mean man
"A Witch Did It"

How did this talentless faggot get 20 million dollars to write and direct a fucking Resident Evil movie? That's the kind of money real directors with a pedigree get for making Oscarbait shit, not some horrorslop nobody making a video game movie.

>>213475594
There's no gay sex though,only straight sex

>>213469853
>WAAAHHHH US CHRISTIANS ARE PERSECUTED!!!
don't you get sick of being a whiny faggot. This country is going to end up being a Christian isolationist shit hole so get your grievances in now with pop culture movies no one will care about in four months. This is some real 'they cry out in pain as they strike you' bs.

>>213475113
go with them and sit by their side, and start opening your arms like the kids when running

>>213469118 (OP)
2025 and retarded apes still don't understand what the rotten tomatoes number means.

>>213469118 (OP)
he's an industry plant, literally see Barbarian, same shit

any pictures of the witch yet?
some anon was leaking webms of the movie, including the ar15 scene

>>213476408
it's Amy Madigan but bald, sometimes with a red wig and sometimes with dreads

>>213470083
If anything the film is pro-gun because the pistol is one of the reasons the good guys win.

That's fucked up to kill your friend then release your new horror on his anniversary

I don't get the police dude being stabbed by needles multiple times lmao what the fuck was that

>>213473965
>doesn't want to watch anything
>but still will spend all day talking about the stuff he doesn't watch
>highlight of his week is drinking along to the critical buttplugger stream with ten other washed up divorcees like they're his personal friend group

>>213474169
"please explain things to me" posters deserve to get beheaded en masse

Is the witch only in it for 10 minutes

i saw it and it's good, got that same feeling as barbarian where it's not making jokes but it's still very funny. funnier even. the big floating gun is going to be the thing people talk about, though in my opinion it's a pretty straight forward symbol of 'danger here' for josh brolins character. is it that 'woke' to say that an assault rifle is one of the scariest things for a parent of young children in america?
what i thought was more interesting was how characters said slightly different things or behaved differently when seeing the scene again from other perspectives. like I'm pretty sure garners character doesn't get up to embrace the cop when he goes into the bar, or the extended phone conversation from the principals perspective, or the cop being more aggressive from the junkies perspective. might be something interesting there.
i just hope the typical schizos who think every movie is an illuminati plan to keep their dicks dry won't flood every thread tonight so i can see some anons interpretations of it

>>213476714
>I'm pretty sure garners character doesn't get up to embrace the cop when he goes into the bar,

I'm glad someone else noticed that too. I thought maybe I just forgot that scene.

>>213475664
20m today ain’t what it used to be even ten years ago.

>>213476336
It’s more that since rt is central to every modern shilling campaign the shills repeat the narrative that it means x/10 rather than “x% didn’t feel like it raped their mother.”

>>213474469
Shalom, rabbi

>>213476463
Running gag.
The movie tried to be funny occasionally but it kinda missed.

>>213477477
>getting chased by the gay asian guy
>get thrown into the glass
>store clerk tells the lady she has to pay for it

>>213477518
creggers good at making funny scenes without actual jokes or winking at the camera. the store guy yelling 'get out of my store!' when the girl is running for her life is funny. the end scene is especially funny because it just keeps going. honestly i think the movie ends a little morbid after that. feels like for this type of fun horror everyone should go back to normal after the witch gets murked but instead they all have brain damage lol
probably saying something about traumatic events or whatever, but i don't really care it's just a nitpick

how much you wanna bet they made the principal gay because headbutting a woman to death wasn't gonna play well to general audiences

>>213477731
they being gay is part of the metaphor

I'm surprised none of the zombies/possessed people tripped.

>>213477842
They all got serious brain damage and probably can never lead a normal life again. That’s bad enough.

So why did the witch punish the town? It was life-force wasn't it

>>213478139
She just needed more life force, so she went to her sister and brother in law's to steal theirs.

>>213478139
No one knows. She’s never explained nor her motivations.
The only background we get on her is that she’s apparently the aunt of that one kid. But it’s mentioned that only his mother barely knows her.
That begs the question why the witch would do something like that to her own family since she turns both of the parents into vegetables.

>>213478325
2:17 is in the bible but you already knew that

>>213478325
This might shock you but Witches are usually evil.

Did you know witches still exist but it's changed to bitches

when is it streaming? I'll keep an eye out for a web-dl

>>213478325
>why the witch would do something like that to her own family since she turns both of the parents into vegetables
shes evil bro she doesn't care about her family. I imagine she was extremely desperate since the dad was talking about how she looked like she was on deaths door, and she also didn't realize she'd need more energy than just the parents.
Her choices are stupid but its pretty clear shes close to death and desperate to keep alive

>>213476714
>like I'm pretty sure garners character doesn't get up to embrace the cop when he goes into the bar, or the extended phone conversation from the principals perspective
Yeah it felt weird. Stood out right away because the second time you see it, from Paul's pov, it looks like she was already looking at the door and knew he was about to walk in.

>>213477651
The junkie getting up like a dozen times was great. And Brolin going "WHAT THE FUCK" after his dream was hilarious too. His character is how I wish most characters were portrayed in funny situations, very classic straightman comedy. He also should've hooked up with the teacher after the ending and plapped her in a ten minute long nude sequence to celebrate their win.

>>213476714
>like I'm pretty sure garners character doesn't get up to embrace the cop when he goes into the bar
I thought I was going schizo and overthinking this.

>>213477651
>>213479291
The funniest example of this was the lady with the baby at the end telling her husband about how a horde of children just smashed through her house freaking out with Josh Brolin suddenly walks in

>>213479825
I was cracking up at how it felt like they just kept cutting to one pristine set after another to destroy. I think they go through like four houses

The principal wasn't gay in the script........

....BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

>>213480671
You sound be happy, you've got something to put in your superchat messages to your internet dads now whenever the woke/not woke livestreams start going up

>>213480875
>sound
should*

>>213480671
What's wrong with that? He's a normal guy with a decent job. The movie doesn't push any lgbt agenda

I need to fuck Julia Garner til the only sound either of us remembers is the plapping of my body on hers.... I want us to be so sweaty that our sweat sloshes around us like a garden sprinkler... I want to mindbreak her in pronebone while choking her as she sucks on my tongue between me licking her face, mating press her as she bites me and begs me to get her pregnant, and full nelson her as she moans and screams with the happiest sound that any creature has ever made...

I give it like a 6/10. No clue how the fuck this earned such a ludicrously high rating and riotous acclaim from critics.
What begins as a very compelling little tapestry of characters pulled into a small town paranormal mystery unravels into a silly monster movie. It's very Stephen King-esque. This could be called 'The Black Phone 2', and I would have questioned it.
Structurally, the story plays out from the viewpoints of several clashing characters as we get closer to the source of the mystery, but doesn't particularly do anything very interesting or novel with this asides from to highlight their faults and occasionally ironic fates.
The parasitical aspect of the actual malevolent force behind the disappearance of the children is blatantly foreshadowed, through nature documentaries on fungi and a class lesson on tapeworms, and its revelation as a witch, this enigmatic interloper called Gladys, doesn't really pay off in an interesting way to highlight this parasitism. Gladys bewitches those around her into ruthless mindless servants whose lifeforce it seems she sustains her preternatural longevity with, like the pop-culture-recognised zombie-fungus, and interacts with others with eccentric demeanour and garish costume like something trying to blend in and mimic those it parasitises. These aspects are decent enough, the villain just feels underdeveloped and quickly disposed of. Because of its strata of multiple viewpoints, the film takes so long building up to the finale, that by the time we get to it, Glady's is done off with in no time at all, with sparingly few meaningful casualties.
cont.

>>213481033
Stranger are the dream sequences in the film. Evidently, the witch, by intention or side-effect, is capable of plaguing people's dreams like she's astral-projecting. We ser her performing candle-lit rituals, so maybe this is some sort of deliberate thing. The problem is that a parasite such as her would realistically attempt to do everything that can to appear innocuous and inconspicuous. Instead, a caricaturised and malevolent clown-demon version of herself is seen haunting several of the character's dreams and drug-filled waking nightmares, which came off as both an overly contrived way to instil terror as an aspect of her character, like King's IT, or something similar, (and as an excuse to put spooky jumpscares in the film), and makes the payoff reveal of her as little more than a somewhat decrepit Glenn Close knock off and not some shadowy spell-weaving gnarled demon kind of disappointing.
Also, I don't get what the artistic point of the big cloudy assault rifle with 2:17 on it in Josh Brolin's haunted dreamscape was. It seemed like a shameless and brazen nod to the title and theme that just came off as ludicrous. I half expected Josh Brolin to turn around and wink at the camera.

>>213481006
I thought it was funny how the principal said she makes everything about herself in the beginning, and we just think he's being a dick or trying to save face, but as the movie goes on he's proven correct. I just expected the movie to play her as a flawless character who's the victim of the town.

>>213481033
*would not have questioned it

>>213471380
You give it too much credit.
I simply think the script is retarded as is the director.

>>213481080
from the trailer I was expecting her to just be miss mopey and mouse around whimpering from scene to scene and was loling when she was immediately a loud alcoholic homewrecker

>>213473111
>>213474895
i liked the cop. he even gave the junkie's preposterous story a chance even though it was very likely bullshit.

>>213481033
The movie lost the plot by the final act with the house fight.

>>213481060
Overall, this film is a good, old fashioned supernatural mystery whose threads are spooled out as formulaically as a goosebumps episode. The end-credits might as well have had the stranger things music play. It's not deep or ground-breaking or particularly original. There is nothing in or about this film that warrants the astronomical reception. Comparing the film I just saw to the reaction from the media is a bit of a head-scratcher honestly.
Feels strongly like critics are trying to push Cregger into the spotlight as some auteur director who ascended from a relatively humble tv background, but there's nothing in Weapons that merits that.

>>213481096
Nah I feel like there's definitely something there if you tweek a lot of the elements that don't really makes sense. Maybe you make the inciting incident something that might possibly have a realistic explanation as opposed to the footage of them obviously under some kind of magic spell and you really lean into the aspect of the witch is a metaphor for the boomers sucking the futures out of the young to keep themselves alive You can keep the climax etc. as is, I thought that was good spooky fun.

I thought The Barbarian was total slop, how does this compare? I like the concept, does it pull some "the REAL monster is le narcissist douchebag guy" shit like barbarian or is it a more traditional horror

>>213481096
>>213481567
>>213481804
i felt the movie guiding me to the conclusion taht the witch was part of some government weapons program, maybe gone rogue. also the kid being able to do the magic and being reassigned to a new "aunt" makes me think its generational and he was always part of this program. thats why the aunt was ready to take him with her. also would be cool if this was somehow in the longlegs universe

>>213469118 (OP)
BECAUSE A GREAT MAN WAS SACRIFICED TO POWER IT AND IT'S RELEASE DATE - IMPRISON ZACH CREGGER

>>213469118 (OP)
the kids running looks retarded

>>213482524
powering THROUGH tragedy

>>213469118 (OP)
Still lmaoing that their shitty viral marketing attempt got utterly torpedoed by the script leaking.

>>213482517
It's more traditional

>>213482580
They keep talking about how it's a film forged by pain.

>>213469214
>>213469215
>>213469315
>>213469354
>>213469739
is there a CAM release yet?

i dont care about quality enough to wait a couple months

I just want a webm of the giant flying AR-15

>>213482778
yes on the regular 123 places

>>213481033
>mystery

The teaser told you nothing about the premise other then kids walking away,was it the government or something to do with aliens?

Any children get killed?

>>213482937
>was it the government or something to do with aliens?
it's a witch

>>213473111
I feel bad for cop Solo
>is a recovering alcoholic
>has a big titty wife who was just wants to get impregnated
>gets drunk with the teacher out of pity
>repeatedly stabbed with needles kek
dies after getting turned into a weapon and shot in the head
Anyway the movie still doesn't explain
What exactly was the witch motivation? Siphoning the life force out of the kids when the parents were not enough?
Why did the others kept seeing the witch in their dreams?

>>213482826
What did Zach mean by this?

>>213483078
>What exactly was the witch motivation
I think she was either was a government asset who went rogue or was a government asset there to recruit the kid to take her place

>"A lot of people die in this story"
>only like 5 people die

2:17 AM is when Trevor Moore died btw

>>213481006
She's the new silver surfer?

A few thoughts…
She calls it consumption, which hasn’t been used for like 150 plus years, I think she’s hundreds of years old

Also don’t think she’s really family. I think she just mind controlled a relative of theirs and used that as an ‘in’

I also think maybe they were all really controlled by some parasite or drug and were hallucinating the whole witch thing.

I was also VERY distracted by my need for all night mating with Julia Garner

I'm sick of supernatural reddit horror. Everyone was speculating this was some MK ULTRA mind control shit, radio waves, or something interesting along those lines.
>lol it was actually an evil witch
Fuck off with this slop.

>>213469118 (OP)
turned it a comedy towards the end with all the kids naruto running to chase down the old lady kek

Zach Cregger sacrificed Trevor Moore to make it in hollywood.

>>213477792
howso

>>213485250
*gets killed to make barbarian*

>>213469118 (OP)
This movie fucking sucked


>Boring characters, except brolin
>Does that stupid multiple POV character segments, so not only is the movie boring, you have to watch the same boring scenes multiple times.
>Is more suspense than horror. Becomes boring when you simply want to know the answer.
>No real conclusion, or information about the witch.

Just more reddit slop.

>>213469118 (OP)
Even when RT wasn't total shit, their model of percentage based on proportion of above 3.5/5 scores requires you to really understand that 95% isn't what a 95% score would mean in any other occasion. 3.5/5 = .7 = 7/10. So really, whenever you see that percentage it's the proportion of people who thought the movie was okay/decent and up. They should have a second percentage called the Golden Tomatometer or something that is a percentage of people who score the movie 4.5/5 - 5/5 (9/10 and higher). That would be more informative.

Rather than the multiple viewpoints gradually revealing complementary details that allow audiences to reconstruct the central mystery, the movie just reveals the antagonist to be a witch whose existence and motivations are never adequately established or foreshadowed through any of the preceding character perspectives, making the formalistic approach to narrative structure just a gimmick.