Thread 213538752

I was shocked to see Gareth Edwards was the director when credits rolled. I guess he was so ashamed he didn't participate in any promo. This slop is 100% made by A. I.
There is no plot, only a succession of scenes you already seen a million times in a million movies. Like someone compiled all action scenes from Spielberg, Lucas and James Cameron movies.
Some stuff doesn't make any sense, like why did they stumble upon Indiana Jones 2 set ? The 3rd act looked like a resident evil videogame.

Why would you even watch this at all lol

>>213538796
Bored, nothing to watch. It took me 4 nights to finish this slop. It's dogseand scarjo is a busted cunt who can't act

>>213538875
There is about 60+ years of movies to watch from anon

>>213538912
Seen those. Still not watching this.

post the webm. you know the one

>>213538752 (OP)
how did this make so much money

>>213539737
No, there's not even a webm worth it. The characters all have plot armor. The dinos act stupid and eat them for no reason

>>213539793
Hot af summer across the country, kids love dino's, parents bring them to the theater, not hard to understand

>>213539793
>parents take the kids to watch dino slop 3000

im still baffled that you can make a movie with dinosaurs and a 240.000.000 budget that ends up being so boring. the first time i zoned out was when teh met the doc/prof at the musuem. or whatever that was.

>>213538752 (OP)
I've seen people here and on goytube talking about how shit this was and I was like "oh c'mon, it can't be THAT bad after the last two Jurassic movies, right?"
Holy shit I was wrong. This piece of shit is easily the absolute worst entry in this god-forsaken franchise. Just how the FUCK did they manage to make every single dino scene boring? HOW? And don't even get me started on the random family plot. People who hate JPIII probably had a field day with this one. This sloppa makes Dominion seem like a goddamn masterpiece.

>>213539793
capeshit fatigue, dino movies weren't spammed as hard as cape movies (yet), kids will always like dinos

>>213538752 (OP)
>I was shocked to see Gareth Edwards was the director when credits rolled. I
I wasn't. He seems like a nice enough guy but he's a really bad director. He hasn't made a single good film.

All of his films have boring protagonists, and just meander around with no real excitement or suspense until it's time to go home. Remember how bad his Godzilla was? His Monsters film? He's just another CGI guy with no good story ideas and no concept of drama. This was most glaring of all on his last film with the robots. What a big nothing that turned out to be.

>>213539887
>This piece of shit is easily the absolute worst entry in this god-forsaken franchise. Just how the FUCK did they manage to make every single dino scene boring? HOW? And don't even get me started on the random family plot. People who hate JPIII probably had a field day with this one. This sloppa makes Dominion seem like a goddamn masterpiece.
JP III was endlessly better than this slop. It actually had interesting, likeable characters. Even Tea Leoni, who a lot of people hated was so much better than anyone in JW Stillbirth.

>>213540168
I know this is not saying much but JPIII is STILL the best sequel. Crazy how they still can't get it right after 30 years.

Post the webm

>>213538752 (OP)
the ironic thing about these movies is they are only worth watching if you pay to see them in a theater

>>213540288
Best I can do

>>213538875

Just get a real hobby outside

>>213540255
>I know this is not saying much but JPIII is STILL the best sequel. Crazy how they still can't get it right after 30 years.

I didn't think many others shared the same opinion. You sir, are a true Kinoisseur

>>213538752 (OP)
This thing is two hours of nothingness trying waaaaay too hard to pretend it has substance. The Pratt trilogy was retarded and incompetent, bu it never shied away from trying new ideas. This "movie" is perfectly sterile and still manages to be aggravating.

>>213540255
>JPIII is STILL the best sequel
Yeah, it's the shortest.

>>213540361
/tv/ is a JPIII board, there are many of us here.

It was OK

>mutated dinos is the gimmick
>literally just like 2 types and they do nothing with them and they also have a total runtime of about 8 minutes in an over two hour long movie
>mutated t rex all over the marketing and has about 3 minutes screentime total
>all the dialogue is god awful
>wooden acting
>the only likable character is scarlett johansson's tits
what a disaster. everyone involved with this should be embarrassed.

>>213540417
All the scenes where scarjo wore this were ok, the rest wasn't.

>>213540368
fuck off this is way better than Jurassic Haunted House crap or Dominion

>Remake the same exact story with different actors and a few new dinos 7 times

>make billions

>>213540032
>He hasn't made a single good film.
He's a boring man who makes boring movies. People seem to want to like him, but he literally never delivers the goods. He's entirely dependent on others making worse films to somehow make him look better.

>>213540430
>the only likable character is scarlett johansson's tits
Only part of the movie that made me feel something.

>>213540455
Dominion had that hot broker lady and architect approved Bryce dallas howard so no.

>>213540430
>mutated t rex

Looks like cloverfield

>>213540454
Correct

>>213540255
>I know this is not saying much but JPIII is STILL the best sequel. Crazy how they still can't get it right after 30 years.

>>213540455
kill yourself

i didn't think godzilla or rogue one were that bad but the creator genuinely almost put me to sleep and that's extremely hard to do. the creator is roughly as bad as rebel moon.

>>213538752 (OP)
Its wasnt THAT bad. Its like the 4th best Jurassic Park film after JP, TLW and JW.

>>213540580
>Godzilla
Dogshit that kept cock teasing the fights. G:KotM was the better movie

>>213540531
>reiforces anon's statement with a display of true artistry and craft
hell yeah

>>213540580
>the creator

Kino

I was just as shocked to see it was David Koepp as the writer, who wrote the original JP1 screenplay

>>213539887
I forgot to mention the dreadful b-plot with the Mexican family where every member is insufferable. The betacyck pussy dad, the annoying slut daughter, the lazy bum boyfriend and the little shit and her pet dino you think will lead to something but nah.

>>213540640
the pet dino really has no purpose other than to sell merch.

>>213540627
He wrote crystal skull...

>>213540627
>Copied Crichton's homework for JP1 but make it different enough that the teacher doesn't catch you
>Did it again with the T-rex River scene but the rest of the movie was him standing on his own
el oh el

>>213540688
The way they focus on it, you thonk his mom will come and attack them. Nah it's just another baby yoda

>>213538752 (OP)
Just watched this today. Actually was better than all the other Jurassic World films.

>>213539887
yeah this was my reaction too. had i paid to see it in a theatre i would have been gravely insulted

>>213539887
Defending Dominion, kek

>>213540640
>dad
Gigacucked and whipped by his daughter, can't say a word to her without getting berated/back talk. Oh but he loves them so much and does everything they want. A true role model for fathers everywhere.
>daughter
Tired girlboss trope. Is there to point and yell at the evil white guy.
>boyfriend
dude WEED! LOL! Being sleazy and unkempt is attractive. Chicks love the "bum" type! (could almost smell him through the screen)
>kid daughter
We want the baby yoda audience.

The scene in the river with the T-Rex looked pretty cool but I guessed it's the only scene worth watching in the entire movie. Is that correct?

>>213540770
seeing any JP but the first one in theaters would be a waste of money.

>>213540808
learn to read, nigger

>>213540846
The dad was such a beta, he doesn't do shit at all, the entire movie is him watching helplessly his daughters chased by dinos and escaping thanks to plot armor

I enjoyed it

So is this a one-off or will there be another trilogy

>>213540808
>Defending Dominion, kek
This made me reassess Dominion. At least it had some likeable characters. And real animatronics.

>>213540897
Taken from the original JP novel like the aviary scene in JPIII

>>213540745
really hope this is a bot. hope i don't share a board with retards who think any JP sequel is anything but liquid feces.

>>213540938
the last scene where he looks lovingly at the daughter and bf was the biggest pipe.jpeg moment in recent memory.

>>213540938
>>213540994
the entire family should have been eaten by dinos, aside from the little girl

>>213540612
>Its wasnt THAT bad. Its like the 4th best Jurassic Park film after JP, TLW and JW.
It really is that bad. It's either the worst or the second worst. It's a toss up between this one and the old dark house movie.

It's fucking brutal.

>>213540949
Chubby mommy scarjo is very nice

>>213540897
>The scene in the river with the T-Rex looked pretty cool but I guessed it's the only scene worth watching in the entire movie. Is that correct?
Correct. It's the only good scene in the whole movie, but they still had to add some stupid touches.

>>213540627
As far as koep go this is on his better half of movies

>>213541082
All sweaty in the movie

>>213541059
You are very insistent but wrong. Not a masterpiece, not the better sequel, full of AI/CGI but no, its not the worst of the JP/JW pack.

JP>JPIII>TLW>JW>JW:D>Dogshit>JP:R>powergap>JP:TFK

>>213540531
Jesus Fucking Christ

There's a good ass shot of her bending over towards the end does anyone have a better quality pic/webm?

JP > JP2 > JW > Rebirth > JW3 > JP3 > JW2

>>213541307
Meant to post the one from the commercial

>>213541307
You need to be more specific mate

>>213541383
they have for like a decade at least.

>>213540897
>>213541146
Lol what? They managed to take the one thing people still like about this franchise, its fucking mascot, and made him slow, weak and not menacing at all. He doesn't even seem to be trying to seriously chase the family, the entire sequence is just so fucking slow. Can't even pierce a fucking rubber raft with his teeth. You could argue that he was still drowzy from just having woken up from a nap, but I'm sorry, that's just not fun to watch. And then the retarded rock gate which he could have easily circled around. But I guess he was not even trying. So gay and shit.
>inb4 errrrmmmmm the t-rex is actually female??????
yeah yeah whatever faggot

>>213538752 (OP)
>Surprised it was Gareth Edwards
What, the red flares didn't tip you off? My favorite part is how velociraptors job to the retarded flying raptors in the background while a brown person takes a piss.

>>213541337
Outside of JW3 which I haven't seen, that's a reasonable order

>>213541394
That scene is barely a glimpse

>>213538752 (OP)
>be single father
>take both daughters on a boat trip near the legal border
>take fuckboy son in law
>they get upset because they were saved
>could've been taken hold by pirates
>doesn't elaborate why they were there in the first place
Egh..

>let's turn down 10 000 000, (6 zeroes) for free healthcare (communism)
egh...

It was objectively better than TFK and Dominion at least

JW 2015 was much better tho

>>213541539
She has always being flirting with her chubby side, so I'm glad she has hold so well

>>213541539
>>213541571
Thanks, it's the best ass shot I remember when I watched it

>>213540531
Underserved hate for this movie, desu.
> existence of dinos Is known
> idiots make it a tourist attraction
> idiots go to this attraction
> chaos find a way
A family kidnapping Alan because the gov told them to fuck themselves is perfectly believable. Them acting like idiots in the island is even more believable. The kid surviving is the one thing I can suspend my disbelief for because he's older than Lex and Tim and he's said he's read Alan's books. Claire's nephews also managed to escape the Indo. Kids just won't die in JP.

>>213541755
Need Guillermo Del Toro JP where kids get eaten

>>213541736
Her underrated feature.

>>213540688
I keep reading this is the explanation, which is totally valid, but so far I haven't seen JPR merch anywhere.
I mean, I know it might exists if I go to a toy store and ask for it, but JW had ads and toys everywhere. They had blue Doritos and other merch.

>>213540903
Back in the 90s we went to the movies to spend time with our friends. That's never a waste of money.

>>213538752 (OP)
>we serve fun at shakeys…also pizza
Hahaha

>>213541806
That'd be an interesting movie, but I'm fine with kids being safe in JP.
(Just remembered clone kid from FK survives the other Indo)

>>213538752 (OP)
>how did it make a billion dollars ?
Who knows !

>>213541383
Unlike you I was actually alive when JPIII came out. It was a complete let down and it flopped at the box office. Now contrarian zoomers are pretending it was good all along lmao.

>>213541868
I was just thinking about Mimic and was surprised he killed kids in that or Chuck Russel and Frank Darabont's Blob remake. Usually you don't kill them in monster movies

>>213539828
>The dinos act stupid and eat them for no reason
What the fuck am I reading?

>>213542012
Not much of a meal..more like an afternoon snack

>>213540994
>Crying about imaginary bots when you're the most blatant samefag ITT

>>213541571
she's asking for it

>>213542173
bad bot.

This was easily the best one since 2.
It was a good movie.

>>213542177
mountain in the back kinda looked like a penis

>>213542224
said nobody.

>>213541995
What do you think it feels like to get swallowed whole by that thing

>>213542173
Take your meds, schizo

>>213542224
This
>>213542249
kys

>>213539887
3 and Rebirth both have a boring, uneventful, shit family plot. The only thing 3 has over Rebirth is it has Alan Grant. I really don't get why /tv/ hypes 3 up as the second coming of christ for the franchise when Lost World mogs it hard but it's slightly more tolerable than this waste of 2 hours.

>>213542346
The CGI is so bad in this

>>213542687
Lost World had Gymnast uneven bar raptor kill so for that I have to say it's worse than JPIII

>>213540255
>JPIII is STILL the best sequel
*Lost World. You seem to have mentioned the wrong film, hope this helps!

>>213542717
No thank you, I don't like my dinos getting defeated by teenage acrobats.

This movie is fucking terrible. The beaner family is annoying as fuck and i wish the big sister and her useless bf were mutilated by the dinos.
The only character i was rooting for was the pharma guy.

>>213542687
>I really don't get why /tv/ hypes 3 up as the second coming of christ
It was confirmed in a previous thread that its literally just 1 spinojeet that keeps on samefagging himself

>>213542710
Thats gymkata for you

>>213542177
One of the dumbest deaths in cinema history.

>>213542177
Spinosaurus humiliation ritual

>>213543249
mindbroken rexjeet strikes again

>>213543581
>SPINE'd

>>213541571
Saucy bitch

>>213540531
Kino

>>213538752 (OP)
> HOLY SHIT, DINOS ARE ULTRA SUPER DANGEROUS!
> only four people get eaten, three are redshirts and one is the bad guy.

Even brave Black man survived in the end, though he was literally being chased by the ULTIMATE ULTRA SUPER DANGEROUS DINO...

>>213540949
You do realize you can have tits as well as a good movie, right, coombrain?

>>213541955
Jesus Christ, I heard about this scene but I assumed that it was far less retarded than this inane shit

>>213542687
Nothing about TLW mogs III except the score and Tembo.
But for everything else?

Alan > Ian
Better/more believable forced kid character
Better dinosaur designs
Better dinosaur roster
Better setpieces
Better island aesthetic
Organic humor > forced humor (let's quip about fast food while we're hanging on to dear life over the edge of a cliff)
Dinosaurs on the island > dinosaurs on the mainland
Shorter runtime with more straightforward action and thrills > bloated mess with surface level pseud PETA themes
The Kirbys > Nick, Sarah and Sheboon Malcolm
Expanding the roster by introducing a unique theropod with a cool design > just add more T. rexes
Intelligent raptors with a pack dynamic > retard raptors that can kill redshirts with guns but job to a niglet (even the pteranodons were scarier than TLW's raptors)
And speaking of which:
Raptor whistle >>> gymnastics

>>213541975
>>213542204
It's GENUINELY shocking at how bad the scale consistency was here. These two scenes are only like 5-10 minutes apart. Helicopter chomp size to human chomp size.

>start the movie with an actual lore dump of nothing but words on a blank screen
>film’s dialogue in the first ten minutes and pretty much covers it anyway, rendering it pointless
What the actual fuck were they thinking?

>>213538752 (OP)
I was surprised it ripped off so much of Jurassic Park 3. Even moreso than marvel movies this film was literally just a roller coster theme park attraction of movies from one scene with the family getting chased by dino to another with the mercs being chased by dino.

>>213544942
kek

>>213538752 (OP)
This wasn't a good movie but I enjoyed seeing dinos eat people on the big screen. I just wish they didn't have such a large cast of obviously invincible characters. There should have been some fodder during the Rex scene.

>>213544477
Yes but
>Kino + tits > mid movie + tits > bad movie zero tits

>>213545605
>Kino + tits > mid movie + tits > bad movie zero tits > bad movie + walled tits <-(You) are here
FTFY

>>213544942
My 10 year old kid always complain about this, inconsistent size in monster movies, and the bite size is always a good comparison. In one scene the dino can chomp a heli and the next scene barely a human can be chewed by the same monster

>>213540032
>>213540490
>Universal needed a yes man who will just shoot the script they had but has at least some sense for visuals unlike Trevorrow
>Edwards went into filmmaking/CGI because of Jurassic Park and was on his way to the director's jail when he got offered the gig

>>213545591
Just add some lawyers to the cast

>Kino
JP1
>Slasher Kino
JP3
>Blockbuster Fun
TLW, JW
>Forgettable Fun
JWR
>Absolute Shit
JWFK, JWD

At least this movie had fucking dinosaurs in it.

>>213543796
Scarjo was barely in the movie and their wasn't anything sexy about her. Bryce Dallas Howard had way more sex appeal shots.

>>213545678
More milfy milkers for me + dinos roaming around

>>213545807
Saying "I'm brown" would be easier.

I don't even like Scarjo but she was hot in this; she had lots of charisma and her thicc mombod was sexy.

>>213541975
>>213541995
>a flicker off hope
>off screen death
>surprise

>>213545820
Look everyone! We have a Viking over here!!!
See? Nobody cares
Let us enjoy Jurassic while you enjoy whatever kino is in your bluray collection

>>213540352
I. CANT. WALK.

>>213545847
Yeah I was expecting some over the top A-Team attempt with her character but she was grounded by Hollywood standards of late and she is charismatic. I'm not saying she carries the film on her own, but the chemistry with the male lead was good

>>213545893
This shit isn't Jurassic, it's just ass, Raj.

>>213544942
>>213545684
There is more than one D-rex.

>>213540417
>>213540515
>>213540949
>>213541220
>>213541571

ARMPIT SHOTS?

>>213545893
>doesn't deny it

>>213541571
>>213541539
WEBM PLEASE

I watched it yesterday. I didn't like that there was a distinct lack of main dinosaur "villain" that hunted the group down all movie, and the bad guy was just a corporate retard. No ingen subplot, either. It was literally just, "Hey look at these dinos, remember these dinos?" and then suddenly D-rex for 2 minutes. Why wasn't it stalking them the entire time? Why weren't the mutoraptors or whatever they were like the raptor pack from JP1? Like, I didn't actually mind the mercenaries. The boating family bits were the worst, and I thought people were meme'ing about the couple not saying a word to each other the entire movie but wow. They really only said one fucking line each to each other, otherwise they just existed in the same scene. The ending was stupid, too, because that boat will just run out of fuel. The spinos and mosasaurs are still in the ocean. There was no emergency radio in that boat. They're just racing out to sea to get fucked by the same dinos that crashed the other two ships. Why would the third try be any different?

>>213541736
>>213541810
>>213542201
>>213543796
>>213546141
>>213546170

>>213546176
The corporate retard which, I assume was supposed to be the main villain throughout the storyline wasn't even particularly malevolent. Like, he failed to rescue that girl from falling off the boat, but she survived unscathed, and that event could be chocked up to him being cowardly. In the end he comes across as just an oaf doing his job, if he didn't get the samples back to his corpo he would've been canned.

>Next movie announced
>Jurassic Era
>A bunch of 20 somethings, all girls, all attractive
>No weapons
>Somehow dropped at the center of the island
>Dinos eat them one by one, a couple of girls barely survive by the end
>Credits roll

>>213546323
You don't need a cartoon villain

>>213546264
Shut the fuck up Sanjeev

>>213546264
Are the indians in the room with you right now massreplysaar

>>213546391
A cartoon villain would've been an improvement.

>>213546264
You shouldn't rile them up like that, it'll stink up the room.

>>213546465
No character is over the top in the movie, not even the stupid teenager or the child.

>>213546141
Not from Scarlett

>>213546432
>>213546445
BLOODY BENCHOD FUCK YOU BLOODY

>>213538752 (OP)
>>213540949

Can we admit ScarJo is so fucking back? Her tits are so huge again it was like Tomb Raider tier her on that big boat she did a jiggle fest running on it.

I thought the movie was a pleasant ride but I admittedly fast forwarded through 30 minutes. I actually discovered I have more fun FF through when I get bored now, sorry but fuck the directors pacing I got my own.

>>213546176
I can't believe a product placement of a Snickerrs bar ruined the entire island

>>213546349
I was seriously just thinking it would be awesome if they did an "erotic Jurassic Park" like think of how bad ScarJo is in this but times like eight hot 18-30 year old girls and all showing nipple at times, super fetishy military clothes.

I'm just agreeing with you so that Universal Corporate sees this and makes it.

>>213539793
It made $225 million less than the last JW movie, which was somehow even worse, though. That's a pretty big drop for the first film in a new trilogy.

>>213546596
Yeah... and? All I'm saying is the main "villain" was flat, ineffectual, and unmemorable. He doesn't have to be twirling a mustache or anything. He needed to be more slimey, think Burke from Aliens. Also he should've done something malevolent, like take a hostage at the end or something in an attempt to survive, idk.

>>213542829
Right?? I didn't get all the moralizing in this movie, they kept implying I should hate him but he was just trying to be a "corporate guy" I mean you can't hate a guy for just living up to his character. He was actually working with the team the entire time, trying to drive his jeep to the rendezvous point too.

>>213542177
Also it was so stupid how the guy had this entire beach to land at but he intentionally landed the ship in rocks lmao

>>213538752 (OP)
>We'll lock our dinosaurs behind one security door and if a single door malfunctions it will create an entire system reboot shutting down all the security measures
I turned it off after that

>>213546757
>He needed to be more slimey
Yeah like that nanny that was eaten alive in the previous movie, or the one before that I cant rememeber

>>213538752 (OP)
the architecture and technology. Are you kidding me? You're on an island full of predators, and everything makes noise - doors bang, systems whir, everything clatters. It's as if the designers intentionally made it easier for dinosaurs to find and eat everyone. Total nonsense.

>>213540627
Somebody in another thread posted a photo of the front page of the JWR script and it had like a dozen "revisions" on it. You can write a solid script but then niggas like Speilberg and other Jew execs will later tell you "It needs a scene with a Snickers bar as the main focus", etc.

>>213541975
>Gareth Edwards revealed his inspirations for the D. Rex’s design, saying, “Basically, you took everything in a melting pot. It’s really hard to come up with a monster idea. We put in a little bit of the rancor from Star Wars. Don’t tell people who work on Star Wars.”
>“We put in a little bit of H.R. Giger’s alien for good measure,” Edwards explained. “There was a little bit of, obviously, the T-Rex.”

>>213546783
Like the "missing" massive dino in the enclosed pit that you can oversee from a VIP window? That was in that BDH movie. Its almost a running joke now in the franchise.

>>213546843
Thats Hollywood + Focus Group movie development now.

>>213541955
This guy should have been killed off in this scene. I don't understand why he was spared.

>>213546757
>Also he should've done something malevolent, like take a hostage at the end or something in an attempt to survive
Didn't he outright hold the main characters at gunpoint to get their briefcase of giant dino semen? He was pretty obviously the villain of the flick.

>>213541975
He's Godzilla-sized in this shot but then he chomps on the rich jerk character a few minutes later and looks way smaller.

>>213546961
Because he's part of the hecking awesome Latino family which is why the evil Afrikaaner dies, evil White capitalist dies the French girl dies and the lazy black man dies for being a race traitor

>>213542177
I don't get it, so that wasn't one of the Spinos that was circling the boat in the water? It was just having a snooze on the rocks there the whole time and woke up?

>>213547053
Yes, it seems that way.

>>213547053
Yes given its sails are yellow instead of red and has camouflage it's telling the audience it's one of the mutant dinosaurs from the island and the island is dangerous

>>213542346
I think this scene should have been the raptor cameo, and then the scene where that guy is pissing should have been the dilophosaurus cameo.

>>213547014
But out of those 4 spics he should have been the one to die since otherwise it was the dad with his two daughters. Not like the girl wasn't going to get another boyfriend eventually anyway.

>>213547090
I think it would have been way better if once they landed on the beach the Spinos from the water were in close pursuit and chased them into the jungle. Didn't need this random one conveniently sleeping on the rocks.

>>213547077
This is almost exactly like a scene from the first book, with grant and the 2 kids. the girl thinks the rex cant swim and that they are safe and the boy calls her a retard as the rex slides into the water after them

>>213538752 (OP)
Does the latest movie even have any connection to already established characters, or is this intended to be a full remake of the Jurassic Park concept?

>>213547278
Not to mention; wouldn't the D-Rex have been completely fucked up from biting down on a helicopter with moving rotor blades? That would have actually been a kino way for it to die.

>>213547353
A character makes a verbal reference to Dr Grant, that's all I can think of. I guess they did that so they can plausibly bring him back again for a sequel.

>>213547353
Its not a remake. Its just a continuation. All JP movies take place in the same JP1 world.

>>213547451
A prequel involving Hammond, though obviously portrayed by another actor, would be interesting, if done right. I think he previously had something going on in Africa, before setting up in Central America.

>>213547389
Oh, so they really are going forwards. Is this supposed to be a new park, or on the same island as one previously featured?

>>213547528
Theres no park in Rebirth. Its some old abandoned island they also previously did experiments on.

>>213547581
>old abandoned island they also previously did experiments on
In the second book it is revealed that there is a second island that was the "manufacturing" side of the operation. the lab in the first movie was just for show, another part of the ride. they say that they had many failures and they had to basically brute force the process until they got a viable product..."the real thing".

>>213547670
Yeah well now there's a third island that was set up AFTER the opening of the Jurrassic World park

>>213538796
Scarjo’s frankly incredible milkers

>>213547701
Just look up her nudes instead retard

>>213547670
I get the impression the island in Rebirth was way more recent around the JW time, as they mentioned experimenting to make more scary themepark shit (like the i-rex/d-rex).

>>213547954
And miss the bounce when she’s running around all wet on the boat?!?!

>>213548041
Yes dipshit

>>213547701
>a used up jew skank's covered up tits
the least motivating thing in existence

>>213539793
it came out BEFORE the holiday weekend during a recession, something the DC and marvel retards didnt comprehend

>>213538752 (OP)
I watched this last night and while I've never been a big fan of Jurassic Park I can understand why people liked it. It had an old-school blockbuster movie feel to it that made you feel like you were watching an epic movie.
I can't remember the last movie I saw that had that feeling.

>>213540770
you know you can leave mid movie and get your money back

>>213540417
>"It was OK"
>"just turn your brain off for this entertainment whose only purpose is to stimulate your brain bro"

Why did they call this Jurassic World and not Jurassic Park?

>>213548601
Because there is no park in the film. They didn't want to get sued by stupid Americans.

>>213547278
uhhhhhh I think you just confirmed the D-Rex has a wife and son!

>multi-billion dollar facility defeated by a snickers wrapper
>everyone jumps off the boat straight into the trajectory of the dinosaurs for no reason
>the girl pushes the big pharma guy, loses her balance and falls off the boat, then lies and blames him falling off the boat, and for the rest of the movie this is meant to be proof of him being bad despite doing nothing wrong

That's not even 10% of the things wrong with this dog feces script.

>>213538752 (OP)
Why can't they just make a book accurate version?

>>213548739
Theres a Rebirth book?

>>213548755
I was talking about the original Micheal Crichton novels

>>213548752
that is jp tradition

>>213549402
Those weren't central to the plot.

The rest of the movie sucked balls, but this one scene was better than all of JP3

>>213538752 (OP)
I'm 100% convinced the story's draft was made by an AI. Like, after Dominion came out and ChatGPT started becoming relevant, some suits at Universal said
>You know what would be funny? if we had AI write a movie for us and it still did a billion bucks
they must be having a great laff right now lmao

>>213549536
the problem with this scene is that the family survived.

>>213541288
Dominion hit rock bottom like no other.

>>213549536
>this one scene was better than all of JP3
Nope.

>>213549536
>Spino gets several kills in this film
>Rex: 0 kills
This is complete and utter fucking bullshit.

>>213549844
>Spino gets several kills in this film
It certainly did.

>>213549818
Ahahahahahahhahahahaha

>>213549818
>posts shit
I prefer this Spinosaurus design, but they really did it dirty with the awful animatronic rigging and shrill roaring sounds

>>213549913
Excatly what you're supposed to feel watching the raft scene.

>>213549818
>Tea Leoni

Whatever happened there?

>>213549818
>>213549913
>>213549951
Lots of disingenuous posts about the Spino animatronic lately. Feels very forced and inorganic.

>>213550136
ok unc

>>213550191
>unc
Says everything, doesn't it?

>>213550136
He posts the same thing every day. Guaranteed butthurt rexfag.

>>213549818
>>213550191
I refuse to believe anyone here unironically believes this looks good. Has to be bait.
>>213549951
This.

>>213550191
>>213550232
>>213550258
samefag

if you like dinos past the age of 11 then you're most likely on the spectrum

>>213538752 (OP)
>This slop is 100% made by A. I.
Written by committee and focus group, but the process does share similarities with AI.

Are people seriously still angry at spinosaurus killing a t-rex in 2025? It's just a movie.

>>213550362
Nah, it just means you're most likely a millenial.
But if you make statements like "if you like dinos past the age of 11 then you're most likely on the spectrum" you are not most likely, but certainly, some underage faggot

>>213550386
Who's angry? The spino is funny

>>213550386
Yes. People that were upset at it back then grew up and literally went into paleontology just to put spino through a public humiliation ritual.
It's not a coincidence that it was also a dinosaur discovered by Germans.

>>213538752 (OP)
>characters you would pay to see get eaten by a dinosaur

>>213550459
>People that were upset at it back then grew up and literally went into paleontology just to put spino through a public humiliation ritual
beyond based

>>213538752 (OP)
>>213539887
I went to watch it yesterday as well just expecting some mindless dinosaur slop, but it did not even live up to that low bar. None of the characters were in the least bit likeable. Scarlett Johannsens acting was absolutely terrible, as was most of the cast. The entire vibe of the movie was just very unpleasant.
The begining sequence in the lab was also fucking retarded. The main bad guy isn't even that evil, at worst he was just out to make money. Nothing evil about making medecine against heart disease.

>>213541888
This is what the sixth JP movie should have been.
Maybe they could build back up to it, but I've been burned too many times.

>>213550386
People are now crying about the mutadon butchering the raptor.

>>213550459
I don't doubt it. Imagine getting mindbroken by Jurassic Park III of all things.

>>213545935
>>213545847
She was absolutely terrible, she was seemingly unable to act for the first 40 minutes of the film and at no point she was believeable as some commando/mercenary. Felt more like some random middle aged woman on a day trip.

>>213550633
It's hilarious. They are to JP what filonifags are to Star Wars.

>>213538752 (OP)
>he tried to kill me!
tf, you literally just fell

>>213539793
dinosaurs

>>213550829
I was rooting for the bad guy the entire movie. That's how bad they fucked up.

>>213550519
>it did not even live up to that low bar
Because the dinosaurs are barely there. This movie had a stupidly short production schedule so I guess that's why every dinosaur scene feels so half assed.

>The entire vibe of the movie was just very unpleasant
The weed guy. The big sis cunt. The whiny/preachy scarjo. The moralfag paleodude. All of them, more important than the dinos.

>>213550134
I watched Deep Impact the other day and said the same thing.
Ironically, she had a very shallow impact.
>>213549536
>Spic Dad hides behind a rock while his small daughter is attacked by a tyrannosaurus rex.
>YOU CAN DO EEET!
What a shitty father.

>mosasaur and pterosaur
>dinosaurs
Felt like walking out right there.

This was far from the worst JW movie

The box office of FK/dominion and this should be reversed

>>213540627
The real David Koepp got eaten by a T-Rex in 1997. This guy is an impostor.

https://youtu.be/iHTRmGUlVnk?si=b7GqpeOe0sV2ftY8&t=58

The worst one was the film with the raptors riding motorcycles.

>>213549536
>this one scene was better than all of JP3
Correct

>>213550477
>is he getting eaten?
>is he getting eaten?
>they're not gonna kill him off huh?

>>213551725
Deja vu...

>>213551741
Eddie deserved better.

>>213538752 (OP)
the dialogue is horrendously bad ,that segment where they try to make the movie deep by dropping random names that scarjo has lost in his life and supposedly the best friend who gets eaten alive, what a bunch of nonsensical moron fun , it's like fuckers don't even have brain .
>holyshit a T-rex
let's inflate the boat in the face of this mf

>>213550580
>gm saar!

>>213549818
>spino immediately goes for the black guy
Woah, based?

>>213550633
KEK I remember that thread

>>213550829
With how hysterical she was about that you'd think pharma guy had stood up and stomped her fingers but no his crime was being a coward or panicking and thus not standing up to save this complete stranger in time

>>213552365
she even explicitly admits this later lol
>guy: he tried to kill her
>girl: yeah he let me fall
>let me fall

>>213544477
>>213545605
>>213545678
she looks utterly mid, even her tits. lol. this movie is really that bad? hahahaha

>>213538752 (OP)
>This slop is 100% made by A. I.
you might be right because I couldn't figure out if they made the immigrant family so obscenely obnoxious to poke fun of them or to promote some globohomo agenda lol

>>213538796
the helicopter scene
I read about it on moviechat yet was still shouting-at-the-screen beautiful

also the architecture was really cool, both inside (either stolen from or made by the same people designing the Alien: Romulus), and outside (sleek rounded brutalism reminiscent of Doom 3)... heck it even had a nostalgic 80s gas station!

6/10 fo sho

>>213540949
she was always ugly and now she's hit-the-wall ugly... can't believe even fags and hags can say she's not ugly without flinching

>>213552452
Is that a Monsters reference?

>>213552452
>the helicopter scene
When mutosauros comes out of the fog with the heli in his mouth.. was it supposed to be a comedy?

>>213552520
It is darkly comedic

I couldve forgiven.a lot of the shit in the movie if they actually made use of the D-Rex. But its barely in the movie and when it finally appears it looks like its bored and dont want to try too hard to kill them.
Also
>lets open source the blood samples!
Cringe as fuck.

>>213551127
>The weed guy. The big sis cunt. The whiny/preachy scarjo. The moralfag paleodude. All of them, more important than the dinos
The only characters I liked were the museum guy and the boat captain, the rest were either dull or unlikeable. What I meant by unpleasant is the movie just feels weirdly mean spirited. I can't explain why, but it did.

>>213552673
how did the black man got away? he killed the d-rex??

>>213552770
He swam, totally unrealistic.

>>213552690
>the movie just feels weirdly mean spirited
that's a good way of putting it
kind of reminded me of Sinners
it's like everybody is so self-absorbed the world doesn't exist around them... besides props and sets there is zero world building, zero little touches that make it a believable world
it's how I imagine is the daily life of everybody not voting for Mr. Trump lol
>fake it till nobody makes it

>>213552814
but he was against a mangrove... the d-rex had a jaw big enough that it would gobble him up no matter what direction he swam in, even with a 10 second head start

and don't even get me started on why didn't it come when it had seen the flare or the boat's reflector

>>213551725
You don't understand he completed his arc. He went from
>loser daughter fucks below decks to make daddy mad
to
>loser dad respects because he isn't completely retarded
and all is now right in the world.

>>213538752 (OP)
>slop
>slop
>slop
>SLOP
Why bother watching movies if you hate movies so much? That goes for all of you who come here only to bitch and moan about how shit everything is. Maybe /tv/ isn't for you?

>>213552876
the father was a disoriented homosexual
if he had a flash or rationality he would have killed the two whores and the nigger, dumped their bodies, then headed to somewhere far away from wherever his ugly overweight wife was
that's called "taking responsibility for your mistakes"

>>213552932
Nigga no one here actually watches movies. How new are you?

>>213552932
>bitching and moaning about people expressing their opinions
OY VEY DO YOU HAVE A LOICENSE FOR BEING A PARASITE?! THE ROASTIE PERMIT OR THE RACE CARD DO NOT COVER IT MA'AM

>>213552951
Btw, the dad's ship's name was 'mariposa' which means butterfly but is used as an insult to call someone a pussy.
The family was mimicking the family in the first JP but they made them Mexican and detestable.

>>213552969
>Nigga no one here actually watches movies
I do. Maybe I'm in the wrong place? I'll be over at /b/ from now on.

>>213552970
I'm noh bri*ish guvnrr

>>213552995
>The family was mimicking the family in the first JP
There was no family in the first JP

>>213552951
>>213552995
Their noble latinx family was why the film did so well in Mexico. That sort of family dynamic is pretty normal down there from what I've seen.

>>213540627
They just used his name for marketing. The script was written by AI.

>>213553145
Jesus Christ

>>213552969
>no one here actually watches movies
No. Apparently they only watch slop.

is this movie good enough to goon to sweaty scarjo?

>>213552690
>What I meant by unpleasant is the movie just feels weirdly mean spirited. I can't explain why, but it did.
The weed guy. He didn't die.

>>213553145
The film did the same kind of numbers in Mexico as all the previous films

>>213553307
Every other nation's numbers have fallen off though. Mexico stood against the tide.

>>213553067
you dont have to be, we live in a community
https://www.reddit.com/r/loicense/top/?t=all
these are all balsam to my soul
real humans DO exist

>>213553304
He should have died unironically.

>>213552770
He mentioned that the only place to hide in the jungle was underwater. Also test audiences reacted better to the cut where duncan lived than the one where he died, hardly surprising considering he's the only likeable character in the movie.

>>213553454
Exactly. Mean spirited movie (not completely though since duncan lived).

>>213553525
>He mentioned that the only place to hide in the jungle was underwater
this is some DINDU MUFFIN tier scriptwriting
>Also test audiences reacted better to the cut where duncan lived than the one where he died, hardly surprising considering he's the only likeable character in the movie.
yet they left in the scene when they are hiding in the drainage canals (after the helicopter scene) and he dramatically says to the little girl that he wouldn't let anything happen to her (implying he'd give his life for her)
this is "I'm taking it up the ass and sucking dicks all day every day but I'm NOT GAY" tier "have your cake and eat it too"

>>213553454
>>213553304
he should have been eaten by that first dino-slop fish thing (mossadsaurus?)

Can't believe how dirty they did the velociraptors in this one. Punked brutally then never seen again.

Also fuck that whole shipwrecked family and their plotline. What a bunch of tiresome disneyslop wank.

>>213553697
So i tried to google mutadon toys to see how ugly they looked, but there arent any. Apparently its likely they were supposed to be raptors in the movie but changed to mutadons at the last minute, which explains why theres no mutadon toys. But what the fuck is the point of replacing iconic raptors with some ugly thing that are so ugly the dont even make toys of?

>>213548739
Too violent for modern faggot children

>>213549536
Because it's from the original Novel, made worse by the beaner family. Grant and the kids take a boat through the river of JP and get chased by a Rex