>"Wife and kids missing without a trace? Wow. That's a real bummer. Like, I'm shaking I'm so worried right now."
>winks directly at camera
Did he really think he was going to get away with it?
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 2:45:10 AM
No.213625959
>>213625896 (OP)
He DID get away with it. His weiner stinks so bad right now.
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 2:45:46 AM
No.213625972
>>213626009
>>213625896 (OP)
he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling neighbors.
>She said she had to take them somewhere 238,855 miles away.. wait a sec.. you don't think... Could it be? *looks up into the sky*
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 2:47:06 AM
No.213626009
>>213626082
>>213625972
the whole case is beat for beat the plot to the original Donkey Kong arcade game. Big ape tries to make off with his butt princess leaving a cascading horror of barrels in his wake only to have it all come toppeling down due to his neighbor the plumber. It is a story as old as time
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 2:49:58 AM
No.213626070
>>213627918
>Oil I gotta say is - not to dump this on all of you guys but - I really miss when those kids were alive and they used to throw those fucking nugs at me. God! If they were here now. I mean they will be here again, hopefully. If they're alive, which they're not, because I killed them. *wink* Is what I WOULD say if I were the man who strangled them to death and dumped their corpses in oil tanks! Go and find that guy officers. I mean find my alive kids and bitch wife. I deserve anal.
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 2:50:34 AM
No.213626082
>>213626009
I wrote that. Thanks. I perfer the "barrels up his problems and leaves them in his wake" wording.
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 2:51:35 AM
No.213626120
>>213626684
is having a buttslut gf that good
whats he thinking right now?
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 2:54:28 AM
No.213626204
>>213626325
Master of nuggets is choking them kids
Breaking them, folding them, closing their lids
Blinded by ass he cares not for shit
Just call his name he answers to Chris
MASTER MASTER
Craig T. Nelson
8/13/2025, 2:59:59 AM
No.213626354
>>213626386
That cunt was a bitch l, he should get leanency
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 3:00:59 AM
No.213626373
>>213626502
>>213625896 (OP)
his face always makes me hear enter sandman
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 3:05:23 AM
No.213626502
>>213626373
Dreams of oil, dreams of pipes
Dreams of smothering that wife
And anything hot and tight, YEAH
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 3:10:40 AM
No.213626612
Volcanobros…How we holding up?
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 3:13:53 AM
No.213626684
>>213626120
Yes. It's amazing having a girl that WANTS you to fuck her in the ass, but the actual act isn't better than regular pussy
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 3:18:01 AM
No.213626778
>>213626942
>>213626649
Notice she doesn't mention him a single time in all this ranting and raving.
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 3:24:49 AM
No.213626942
>>213626778
She did at least once “Chris to retire”. So after he takes over the world with her woman powers by selling caffeine patches he can retire.
At least the whole saga gave us peachposting, and I will always treasure that.
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 3:46:04 AM
No.213627476
>Oil I know, officer, is that wife and those kids are oil I have. It's a barrel of laughs every time we have chicken nuggies for dinner. Now they're gone and I don't know what oil do. I'm getting oil choked up about it. I feel like a total ass. But anyway, I gotta split, I got two tickets to the 'tallica concert and Nicho- I mean, my friends are waiting for me. Send me a DM on Xbox Live or whatever if you find them kids and that wife. Peace.
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 3:50:16 AM
No.213627578
>I wish that wife and those kids were here right now. The sudden apperiance of oil covered zombies is just the sort of distraction I need for you cops so I can cheese it out the back. I mean, no... I have not seen them since I droped them off at work. Shit!
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 4:05:42 AM
No.213628040
>>213626649
Big Carrie Mattheson vibes
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 4:06:26 AM
No.213628059
>>213627847
i know right lol i mean 50k is nothing haha so little in fact that i could send you 50k right now as a joke or whatever and it would be like nothing, or like you could send me 50k or whatever hahaha, like a direct deposit into my bank account or paypal account, or something
Anonymous
8/13/2025, 4:06:51 AM
No.213628070
>>213626265
Aayy dis white nigga alright
