Come on by and take a massive brown shit on this massive brown shit.

>>213640578 (OP)
they are so focused on referencing the fact that the original Alien is from 1979, they didn't stop to consider that it doesn't make sense to use 70s aesthetics when Prometheus is a thing

>Alien Earth Hate Thread

What the fuck?

>>213640937
Yeah, what the heck, think of the marketers!

>Giant ship simply crashes into crowded city with no warning given to citizens
>Search & Rescue teams are soldiers who all have guns
>City is painfully empty, no birds, cars, people on sidewalks
>"Oh, good thing they were all at the park today!"
This show is fucking stupid.

>>213641024
>City is painfully empty, no birds, cars, people on sidewalks
They say everyone was at the founders day parade in the park lulz

>>213640578 (OP)
unwatchable, just in awe by how bad it is
skipped 50%

where the fuck is he?

>>213641672
He's too good for this.

Did they explain the hazmat suit guy in the hallway?

>>213641024
those things are quite explainable desu, its still a dystopian future where soulless corporations control everything, birds are probably extinct.

Aren't these guys supposed to be super smart? Why do they act like the retards who shove their faces inside the alien eggs in the previous movies?

Anyone have a webm of the xeno getting spray foamed and bagged up and carried away? I died when George droyd captured it and it got away cause he got caught carrying the knocked out bagged xeno to an elevator.

I just finished the two episodes 4.5/5 stars
seriously, you people (/tv/) told me it was going to be shit
Instead it starts like the 1979 original ALIEN film.
I though the show would be about the people in the ship (because of those two sexy women) and the allegedly boring script but instead all the crew got killed by the xeno and the evil nigger
>yes, there are black people in the show but they're not main characters
then we move to a different plot, the race to human evolution. Synths, cyborgs... it's like a mixture of alien and Scott wettest dreams about alien lore.
To me it's pretty good
I am looking forward to the next episode and pray for them not shitting the bed on this one.

There is a bear.

>>213642030
>I though the show would be about the people in the ship
it's literally called Alien: Earth you retard

>>213642057
but you're not expecting them reaching earth in the first two episodes

I thought it was decent. Hate the faggot brother from Black Mirror though, and all the “lost boys” besides Wendy are awful. The nigger cyborg is actually kind of interesting too

>>213642103
i can live with an black good character
>andy Romulus

>>213641799
Not yet but he appeared several times doing the exact same thing. The reveal of what exactly he is spraying is what will keep me coming back.
>inb4 the mind transfer process uses engineer/xeno tech/biology and there was a breakout

>>213640578 (OP)
brown hands made this post

>>213642030
>starts like
Anon it's almost a 1:1 member berry recreation of the '79 opening

>>213641869
that guy is a 12 year old in a robot body

>>213642030
it is shit

the casting is awful. why does everybody look like a child

>>213642266
>why does everybody look like a child
you're getting old.

If this is the first movie chronologically, why didn't they have electricity guns with web shooter underbarrels in every other movie? Those marines would have mopped up the xenos no problem in Aliens.

>>213642466
Apparently the guy who made this can't into continuity.

>>213642466
>electricity guns with web shooter
because he's from a science expendition. that gun is clearly for capturing specimens.
>Those marines would have mopped up the xenos
they would've with their normal gear. they literally have maphack and aimbot.
cameron gimped them to shit so the xenos would win.

>>213642466
shut up and clap when you see analog computers on-screen dammit!

this is a real frame from the show

I'm 5 minutes in, and I'm already confused. Is this canon to the movies, or is it its own separate universe? I don't know where they would get facehuggers two years before the events of the first movie.

>>213642602
>Is this canon to the movies, or is it its own separate universe?
There hasn't been an official answer so I guess the latter?

>>213642602
its canon.
> I don't know where they would get facehuggers two years before the events of the first movie.
isnt it implied that the company knew about the derelict ship?

>>213642235
Not an android/hybrid but it's jarring that they still have a character that's supposed to be smart do this in the current year

>>213642645
Weylan-Yutani knew there was a signal from an alien ship, but I was under the impression they didn't know what was onboard until Ash told them.

>>213640610
>Prometheus is a thing

Not anymore it isn't. Decanonized by both Romulus and Earth. The embarrassment to the franchise is gone.

>>213640610
>>213642602
It's from the same showrunner that did Legion and Fargo so it was to expect for him to ignore a lot of the lore and just do whatever he wants. Gonna watch in a few minutes, I hope it's good but by the threads being made I think it's already pretty polarizing

>>213642755
>the embarrassment to the franchise is gone
the show and romulus are here

>>213642737
>Weylan-Yutani knew there was a signal from an alien ship, but I was under the impression they didn't know what was onboard until Ash told them.
ahh yes thats right.

>>213642768
>I think it's already pretty polarizing
you're talking 4chan polarizing.
general consensus outside here, people like it.
some people here hate it by default because it has too many blacks, gays, and one indian guy too many.

>>213642602
doesn't the Ridley prequels make clear that humans are aware of all the alien stuff way before the first movie?

>>213642755
Romulus referenced Prometheus though.

>>213642826
I don't know that anyone on earth would know what happened to the Prometheus and the Covenant.

in all seriousness, if they are doing the synthetic bodies, why not make them all 10/10 gigachads and stacies? they could hire an actually attractive cast that doesn't necessarily need to act good, being mediocre/shitty actors would make the characters seem better.
ragnar would probably be up for it.

>>213641869
initially, i thought this too. but as the scene goes on, it shows that the alien senses the synth is inorganic

>>213642871
maybe David did some shit after Covenant that made the humans aware of the aliens. Maybe he attacked a human colony with the xenomorphs or some shit like that

>>213640578 (OP)
Thanks for making this thread, I had to pause and search the catalog after the very first thing you see in ep 1 is a pajeeta and a nigger.

>>213642825
>some people here hate it by default because it has too many blacks, gays, and one indian guy too many
Well, Legion also had that and still the show was great, no one in that cast ever bother me no matter their race.

Also to this day there are people who don't get the point of that show, like when a white woman that was raised by a liberal single mother falsely accused everyone of rape and the main villain being an immigrant and literal psych parasyte. Funnily enough the white woman gets another chance at life, this time in a proper home with a father and comes back as a good person and the immigrant is redeemed by experiencing a white's man life through telepathy. So maybe anons should give this show a real chance.

>>213642583
but why? what's the context?

>>213642992
He sent them this message.
https://youtu.be/6JyhF66eEnk?si=icE7U-ZXIJs7iuEB

they added a street shitter with a gay accent just to torment us

>>213642850
They're marketers, they've been given a memo to promote this movie, every single one shilling this shit tv show has to mention how bad Prometheus and Covenant are in the same sentence

>>213640578 (OP)
>I should actually WARN people about the hostile creature that attacked me? Like to that now-dead soldier and now to these two synths? What are you crazy? Get out of my head, intrusive thoughts.

>>213643153
it's just the siblings bonding over a quote/joke in the movie.
it could've been any cartoon or show. otherwise, it's just disney flexing that it owns the ice age franchise.

>>213642583
AND SHE SPEAKS LIKE MARGARETH QUALLEY

>>213643250
No he has to steal a baseball from a dead guy's house first. Great ethical aspiring doctor he is

So what, did Yutani have the shop aim for a Prodigy-city hoping they'll fuck up handling the crisis, the city gets nuked, etc. to ruin that company?

>>213643250
hes also a synth but doesn't know it

>tool starts playing out of nowhere
>not sure why

>>213640610
The thing is though Prometheus is shit. I actually love how Prometheus looks, but why would anything trying to do justice to Alien prioritize Prometheus over the first and by far best film?

Most obvious shilling so far:
>Disney cooked with this one
>Something something 90s whimsy or "whimsical"
The later is hilarious because they conveniently forget the original came out in '79 and it was an 80s thing.

>>213643250
why does he look so chuddy

>>213643353
Prometheus was a prequel and had high-tech aesthetics, so this series could've explored why that was, instead of defaulting to memberberries nostalgia.

Yeah, it's Aliens capeshit for zoomers. Protags are "im special" zoomer synths who do the awkward unsure of themselves act every chance they get. I mean why the fuck does the female synth need a sword is this a fucking anime. I had hoped the protags would be a bunch of hardened elite fireteam of colonial marines who play with knives and pulse rifles and say cool man shit but we aren't going to get that. There are no horror elements to it, just shit that scares zoomers. As a viewer I don't care about the zoomer synths because the aliens just ignore them so it's part of the plot device where zoomers need to feel safe. Second episode was directed by a woman and it's obvious. It does look good though and they kept the 80's aesthetic, although the choice to keep fuzzy ass CRT monitors was a little retarded because of the amount of shit you see characters look at you would think that they would invent LED's before FTL

>>213640578 (OP)
Why does it look like the Monster energy drink logo from afar?

As soon as I get done posting ITT about BROWNOIDS in MY FRANCHISE I'm going to go do my ancestral sword practice of my WHITE ANCESTORS in my backyard!

>>213643278
the main outbreak will occur in neverland island
wey-yu will send soldiers to claim specimens (you can see them in the trailers, the one with the classic and vector pulse rifles)

>>213642266
>why does everybody look like a child
made by MAPs for MAPs. problem, bigot?

>>213643457
awww, the brown is scared

>>213643457
Based. Don't forget to revive McCarthyism.

what's with the peter pan shit

>>213643518
noah hawley trying to be deep

>>213643413
Or it could've tacitly acknowledged that Prometheus is a dogshit prequel keeping Attack of the Clones company in the turd pile and tried to expand on the original film's aesthetic.

I don't think Earth is very good so far, but it's less derivative than Covenant and Romulus.

>>213643609
Prometheus is a top 5 of the franchise movie.
>I don't think Earth is very good so far, but it's less derivative than Covenant and Romulus.
>Shot-for-shot recreation of the 1979 opening scene
>Everything is referencing the 1970s for some reason
>less derivative
Kek.

this show will reawaken ridley scott from his parkinsons induced stupor. he will make it his lifes mission to corect the timeline

>>213643609
>keeping Attack of the Clones company
So complete Kino, in the true spirit of the original film, misunderstood and disregarded by general audiences.
Got it.

>>213642057
>it's literally called Alien: Earth you retard
kek. He liked the show, anon. He clearly has learning difficulties.

>>213640578 (OP)
SAARS I'M HAVING BLAST WITH THIS SATURDEY MARNING CARTOON
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1755102743374035.webm
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1755102743374035.webm
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1755102743374035.webm
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1755102743374035.webm
YOOU HAVE BLAST TOO?

>>213643649
>Prometheus is a top 5 of the franchise movie
There are 7 movies, a mere 2 of which are good.

who is captain hook?

>>213643832
A true prequelfag.

>>213643466
a better look from the trailer.
although the smartgun already had a cameo in episode 1 in the rooftop scene.

>>213643906
It's so fucking bad.

People are judging way too soon. This show is gonna go places.

>>213644108
>This show is gonna go places.
yes, straight to my recycle bin

Granted it's been about 5 or so years since I last watched all the movies back-to-back, but I tried to watch it and fucked off after about 30 minutes. I don't know what's canon or not anymore. Is this a Halloween H20 situation where it ignores everything but the original movie?

Sucks that it sucks because I'm desperate to find a show that's actually worth watching. It's gotten so bad that I've jumped back into watching wrestling because there's nothing else to watch.

>>213643454
Because it should be canned

>>213641876
>George droyd
am fucking dead sir, thank you

even better than when LE EVIL WHITE COLONIALISTS were torn apart by the Alien for being so ignorant and evil haha did you see that part reddit?!

>>213644557
Are people really like this? You put something on and think IS THIS CANON IS THIS CANON?

>>213642755
>Romulus made the franchise less embarrassing
holy kill yourself immediately, now--you are not a real person

>>213642932
Because brown people anon! We're progressive now and that means no more whites, just brown people everywhere because that means we're sorry for being white!

>>213644703
Yes, it's a nearly 50 year old franchise with dozens of interconnected pieces of media. The context of how it fits with other entries in the series is relevant.

Just finished first episode.

My quick cuts:
-Takes forever to start; it should've begun setting up Joe as the protagonist, being medic, first day at job - and then spaceship crash. All this in first 3 mins or so.
-The Peter Pan allegory is too on the nose
-I wish more realism of this. The first responders do what? Take guns and go in the spaceship thats 1. still on 2. numerous people in danger outside 3. no plan. In reality they would've secured the perimeter then watch nothing goes in and out. Also when the cliche cyborg betrayer ambushes two of the marines; this should not work. The radio should be always open, and the rescue team should be in constant communication - as i said, this should not happen and feels like horrible oversight.
-The female lead is just not compelling, everything just lines up too fast for her.
-I just dont care of any of the characters.
-Timothy Oliphant gives a good cyborg tho.

t. screenwriter

>>213641876
Even in Space, the Alpha Black Man has to keep them aliens in line! His Pimp Hand is strong.

>>213643250
The Xenomorph doesn't even fucking matter in this film. Nobody even gives a fuck or is even that scared of it, and the other Half-Life ripoff aliens are almost scarier than it lol. It's nothing but a fucking plot device and just jumps around like a screeching cat.

>>213643276
the baseball shit was SO goddamned stupid, who the fuck even cares? Is that what they think "character-building" is anymore? Just shove some random unrelated human experience shit in and suddenly people will care and feel connected? It's like AI was making it
>insert emotional memory for character here so that some of the audience can relate

>>213642755
Romulus literally had the black goo and engineer hybrid in it

>>213643413
Prometheus' tech was a big thing that made people dislike it and covenant. Same with The Thing prequel. It is offputting when you make a prequel look shinier than the sequels without some civilization resetting moment.

>>213645054
no one saw romulus so we can't confirm

>>213645083
well this series went too hard the other way. it looks retarded that everyone is so 70s in this, when Alien looks timeless.

>>213645017
Don't Americans care about baseball? I'm euro so I wouldn't know.

>>213644811
I like Oliphant's character but he's doing this weird Shane Gillis doing Trump inflection when talks and it's killing me

>>213641869
They're kids and somehow it's more painfully frustrating to watch them than the usual incompetent adults.

>>213643449
I think the sword is supposed to be another peter pan reference

>>213645089
I watched it like a week ago just because it was the only alien movie ive never seen thus far. i could not remember anything about it a few days after. I couldnt even tell you if romulus had the black goo or not, i dont even remember the scene. i just have vague memories of basedface prometheus crawling around in dirt

>>213645119
I agree, the 1:1 member berries opening was a bit much. I think it has to do with lacking authenticity. But if I have to choose anachronistic computers from the 70's or zoomer lens flares and holograms I'll stick with millenials aping the 70's.

>>213643449
fucking great post
one of the biggest reasons I can't stand watching modern shit isn't even necessarily "woke," it's because I can't fucking stand modern nu-people who are nothing but stunted mentally-ill quirk chungus retards. It's like they aren't even fucking people anymore, even the ones that don't play literal soulless robot NPC's. It's fucking disturbing and everyone is uncanny valley--soulless slop for a soulless, lost generation.

>>213643518
dogwhistle to pedophile troons and the elite

>>213644108
(not)Roy Batty/Olyphant is the only thing literally keeping me watching and the only character I give a fuck about.

>>213644703
>Do people actually think and care about the shows they watch?! That's ridiculous!
The mind of an NPC is a terrifying place.

>>213642266
Are you 90?

>>213643518
The children will never age mentally. Because children's minds are more receptive and malleable, they will be kept in an infantilized state so they can grow indefinitely. They will have beyond genius intelligence, but they will not be mature.

>>213645140
Zoomers couldn't give two shits, and most haven't cared about it a lot since the boomers. Being a millennial, it was all basketball with Michael Jordan and football. Zooms even reinvented baseball into "banana ball" or some dumb shit because they found it so boring lol but I'm sure this random medic guy a century in the future is getting weepy over mid-20th century baseball. That would be like someone right now reminiscing about playing polo with their British uncle in the 1870's.

remember the good times.

>>213644898

>>213643906
fits too damn well

>>213645435
i think they did that solely so sci-fi nerds won't sexualize the protagonist. as if that would stop them.

>>213645679
jej

>gets denied early leave of his contract
>Gets angry and quotes Ice Age to a robot
>Even if he wasn't quoting ice age, saying "you will face my fury" to a robot is extremely retarded
>This is somehow meant to be taken seriously

>>213645679
What are Prodigy's laws about banging Synths with a 12 year old's brain? Seems like a sci-fi ethical dilemma worth addressing.

>>213645279
No. At some point the female protag will realize she has girl synth power shit and go all battle angel hentai chop chop on the aliens. They do this to get zoomer dick hard as all female protags these days need some ninja shit going on

>>213645192
I can't unhear this now

Are they actually going to have a real action combat scene between xenos and superpowered androids? Would be weird for this series.

>>213645956
>we used to be food you know
>that's what they said
>we were food
>but we're not food now
>we went to space
>so we're not food
>that's what we say anyways

>>213646112
You will get maybe 2 minutes of that if you're lucky, and then two characters arguing in a bland room for the rest of the episode runtime.
That's how the make tv shows nowadays.

>>213646112
I don't know why they would, Alien: Covenant showed us that they don't care about Synthetics at all.

>>213640578 (OP)
>take a massive brown shit
Something I've been eating has been giving me diarrhea and I don't know what. Might be the sausage in my Sunday gravy, but it's only been a few days.

>>213645192
he makes a good tard wrangler yelling at the zooms to do shit. he needs to go back to clenching his jaw like he's pissed all the time like on Justified

>>213646344
I did audibly laugh when he cut Wendy off and told her he didn't give a shit about her brother and needed her and the other retard to go guard the egg room.

>cbf to download, just boot up tv and try FX
>initial ads, then a bit later it takes what felt like 10+ minute ad break
christ ok I'll watch it later

>>213640578 (OP)
The fact that this is a prequel to ALIEN is FUCKING RETARDED. Earth Hive is the THIRD book. Not a fucking prequel. In the books it actually makes fucking sense because Earth becomes uninhabitable and it partly collapses human civilization for a while. It takes years for mankind to revamp space faring civilization afterwards. This is supposedly an infestation that ends within 2 years and nobody even noticed it?? How do you fuck this up this bad?

>>213643906
fucking kek

>>213647196
thanks for reminding me about the books, I'm gonna read them after finishing the show as a palate cleanser

>>213642768
Why would you not gas anyone involved in that turd Legion?

>>213643139
Legion was absolutely NOT "great". It was pretentious artsy horseshit. By the second season it had already totally lost the plot. The third season was absolutely fucking unwatchable. There's a reason it's not even a cult classic and nobody talks about it. Best forgotten. But you know pedowood, everyone always fails up.

>>213641876
>George droyd

>>213647290
>>213643139
the fuck is even legion
I only know about boomer shows from shorts btw

Am i the only one who skips every scene with the dysgenic kike character? Where do they find these punchable fucking actors? Ezra miller, the faggot from Umbrella academy and now this

>>213647350
It's some AWFUL attempt to make a tv show based on one of the canonically strongest mutants in the X-Men canon. It was DOGSHIT. The first season was watchable but mediocre. The second season started some 60s artsy bullshit and became TERRIBLE. I only got a few minutes into the third season before I wanted to vomit from the pretentious cringe, I can only imagine it was even worse from there.

For context: the second season LITERALLY has an entire episode of a woman just going "if you don't know why I'm mad at you then I'm not going to tell you" and the reason she was mad turned out to be something fucking retarded like "You don't know how much I love you."

I'm not even blaming yids for how bad pedowood is at this point. The level of incompetence in all movies and tv now has the feminine odor all over it.

>>213643973
nice airsofters kek

HE SAID IT
HE SAID THE WORD

>>213646276
Not enough explosions for you zoomie?

>>213647580
Did he say the nigger word? I'm sure there's plenty of opportunity in this show. Even though I have not touched this shit, I'm going to guess roughly half the cast is black. How close am I?

>>213647634
I wish there were more explosions in LA.

>>213647252
>>213647290
For me it was great fun. I loved the artsy aspect, it didn't seemed to be taking itself that seriously, if that was the showrunner intention he failed miserable, I hope he was just doing an exercise in creativity. If not, well this Alien show will be utterly shit

>>213647350
Legion is Prof. X son (yeah, from the X-Men). Fox greenlit a 3 season show about the character using only C-tier mutants and totally outside any canon from either movies or comics. I think it was pretty good but people like the anons above hated for being too artsy.

Is the alien franchise just cursed? This shit sucks ass

>>213647196
They'll just nuke the city and cover everything up.

>>213647700
That's because you're a retarded woman.

>>213647746
Oh we all know how this retarded shit is going to end. I am NOT watching this shit. They ruined the entire plot just by making it a prequel. But I WILL participate in threads shitting on it.

>>213647446
>For context: the second season LITERALLY has an entire episode of a woman just going "if you don't know why I'm mad at you then I'm not going to tell you" and the reason she was mad turned out to be something fucking retarded like "You don't know how much I love you."
Yes, the point was pointing out how much of an awful person she was, her whole arc was being an awful modern woman raised by a single liberal mother. She cheated, lied and ruined everyone, she was always seeking attention and making everything being about her even thought she was spoiled and had a great life. She used her power to ruin one of her mom's boyfriend by making it seem as if he raped her, then accused Legion of rape later. Finally she was reborn through mutant shenanigans and in this new life she had a real family, mother and father, who raised her properly, so she comes back to Legion's life so she could repair the damage she had done earlier. It's a great arc that went way over your head.

>>213647446
I tried to find clips or something but I only got stuff from a 2010 movie that looks pretty cool (and I'll prob watch next), comic book reviews, lenovo reviews and the spanish army (?).
after 5 minutes of scrolling I found some lame clip, what is this shit man?

wat

>>213647805
A psych battle. When they had to fight with their mental powers you got some weird dance off/music video because that's the vibe of the show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84ja5ehgpCA

>>213640578 (OP)
I did not want to hate on this movie but I'm 40 minutes in and the earth architecture / design / execution / whatever is just so sloppy and sad... it looks bad even for 3D mockup or concept art

>>213647798
Don't sit there and try to vagsplain why Legion was good because it includes hysterical woman shit. That show was COLD DOGSHIT. It actually makes me mad to this fucking day had atrocious it was. The final episode of the first season has him beginning to come into his powers and I thought that would be expanded upon. NOPE. Just artsy faggy dance numbers and goofy retarded female bullshit.

>>213647838
i'm spechless

>>213647805
>>213647838
Yeah this was fucking retarded. And it was BY FAR the worst thing in the show.

>>213647982
*by far NOT the worst thing in the show, is what I meant to say

>>213645083
Actually at the time Covenant was praised for getting the look right and being truer to the look of Alien. Which in retrospect post-Romulus and post-Earth is actually kind of funny now.

Why did they transform Timothy Olyphant into Rutger Hauer, when they could've gotten Rutger Hauer?

>>213647838
>battle? alright, let's fag it out!

>>213647961
>vagsplain
Top kek you being this mad is so fucking funny. Look, it was different, it's all right there is plenty of X-Men shows, movies, games and comics and you can find the one you like. Having different shit do not take what you like from you.

>>213647965
It makes more sense in context, for you it's like being some random episode of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure in the 90's, when today anime is just another thing. Show is full of musical numbers, all mental trips/battles use music in them.

https://youtu.be/kQ_gCO73ieM?t=282

>>213648206
It's gay. And not in a room full of muscled hunks way. In a tate fagging out and breaking his mirror way.

>>213648308
Kek, well whatever keeps you going. What's the best depiction of the X-Men in your opinion?

>>213648024
Truer being the operative word there, but Aliens fans are right up there with Star Wars and Trek nerds when it comes to overstating the importance of minute details. Covenant was good in keeping with the industrial look established in the original trilogy but not held back by being made in the 80's. I understand the hate for Prometheus, the holograms and rounded spacehips covered in large windows with glass everywhere is completely out of place but one of these set designers needs to grow a pair and tell the autists that they were using tube monitors in 2122 because it was made in 1979, not because it matters to the universe.

>>213647670
we aint bruthas

Is the show worth it to risk getting flagged by my ip for pirating the first two episodes?
I don't pirate often but I assumed trying to pirate something new and fresh right out the box is like what they look for specifically.

>>213643906
Kino

>>213648761
in my opinion, no

>>213647729
It's like they keep trying to course correct and they just keep circling the target.

>>213648761
https://vk.com/video-54220_456241108

w-white bros... not feeling so good

>>213648826
God I fucking love Russians. Thanks anon.

I'm done with this movie. Struggled through first episode but when I've seen that episode 2 is just more of the same... nah.
Also I would like to say "enjoy guys!" but seriously if you like this crap don't talk to me

>>213648860
It's just getting fucking blatant at this point.

>>213642583
What a time to be alive kek

>>213648060
Anon, I have some bad news...

>>213648860
Keeping in mind, this guy is talking about sperm with a 12-13 year old girl in an adult robot body. And his main job seems to be just watching the security camera in her bedroom....

>>213640610
>Prometheus is a thing
a shit thing
the only canon is alien, alien 2, alien 3, alien 4
this show isn't canon

>>213643906
Fucking lmao, it is retarded how well that works

>>213642755
Prometheus is peak kino and far better than either Romulus or this embarrassing mess. Retarded jeet.

>>213649201
source?

it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize timothy olyphant was in fact timothy olyphant as a new character and it wasn't just a recast in similar bad old man makeup to peter weyland in covenant

does anyone else have a hard time believing that xenomorphs are great hunters?
like, their anatomy doesn't make it seem like they'd be very agile or move in a sort of graceful deadly way like cats
also they blowup by being shot a few times
they're also really big even though they're portrait and sneaky hunters that make use of tight spaces
the biggest thing they have going for them is the acid blood which they only bring out by the time they're already dead

>>213640578 (OP)
Fucking thing sucks.

I watched the 2 episodes and while it has many annoying things, so far I like it more than Romulus. Which isn't saying much I guess.

>>213643906

>>213649368
More characters have been killed in the first two episodes than the total amount of characters in that whole movie. It certainly wins on the kill count and gore front. But the writing, characters, dialogue, and plot are really poor.

>>213640578 (OP)
>Come on by and take a massive brown shit on this massive brown shit.
Percect for brown shit american audiences!

>>213649324
No, I dont have issues believing that this fictional non existing alien species from a fictional non existant future timeline, where there are robots and intersteller travel, are great hunters.

I think the set design, aesthetic, etc. is really good and so is the gore. Outside of some iffy CG moments with the alien, the show itself does look quite nice. I just kinda wish the main plot was literally just the ship crashing into the earth colony and it was just about civilians/coast guard trying to make sense of all of it and surviving, the Peter Pan kids with their minds put into synthetics is just such a lame idea and its just really cringy to see adults acting like babies. Kinda deflates the whole thing and its unfortunate its the main plot thread

Why do they keep doing this in shows
>LE HECKIN CHILDREN
they're suppose to be androids and act nothing like androids..
This is just that fucking faggy ass star wars skeleton crew show again but in the aliens universe

>>213649178
Shouldn't that technically raise his testosterone and sperm count tho kek?

In this first 5 minutes it's what are supposed to be the worlds top intellectuals behaving like retarded high schoolers. This is because the actors are all untalented retards.

>>213649741
because no one knows how to write.

>>213649324
it's the legs. It just looks like a guy in a suit when it should have chicken legs like the pic.

>mfw Mr Tang was beating off to the white girl in cryosleep

>On IMDB the majority of ratings is a perfect 10
this shit is rigged isn't it? there is no fucking way

>>213649851
why you even care for this ratings? They shot multiple times how sold they are.

>>213649838
Did this happen?
After the Ice Age cameo I would believe anything

>>213649851
It's Disney. Disney has been heavily botting user reviews on all their garbage since The Last Jedi backlash in 2017.

>>213649851
Have you forgotten how many retards thought Romulus was a hecking return to form?

>>213649962
>new thing bad!
I love that you will always be miserable

>>213649741
At least Skeleton Crew was supposed to be for kids, its a Goonies knockoff. Why do we have kid protagonists in fucking Alien of all things?

>>213648727
Could we at least discuss the bonus situation?

>>213649884
>why you even care for this ratings
>They shot multiple times
HELLO SAR HOW R U TODAY SAR??

>>213645493
You talk so so so much shit baseball is still super popular its trending on Twitter every day and everyone is deeply invested into San Diego versus Los Angeles to win the NL.

You do speak for White Zoomers maybe though just all the Asians and Hispanics are crazy about baseball.

>>213649324
what the fuck did they even hunt before humans discovered them

>>213648727
>bonus situation, we oughtta discuss it

>>213640578 (OP)
I'll take Covenant over this dogshit

>>213650117
dinosaurs

>>213649988
>projecting

>>213649851
troons have the market cornered on ratings / review sites

>>213650259
Ah yes the 4chan equivalent of "I know you are but what am i" good job anon you really got me.

>>213640610
>aesthetics when Prometheus
Do you really want that? Fucking fag.

Why does everything have to be so gay?

>>213650313
Probably because you're a fag

>>213649616
>the Peter Pan kids with their minds put into synthetics is just such a lame idea
Yeah, agree. Also it's kinda funny that
>someone farts
>soundtracks go BOOOOOOOOM
It feels like they got their hands on some Hanz Zimmer leftovers from Interstellar, shit is just funny at some points.

My main hope is that the Xenos made crazy hybrids with all those weird species and we get some Kenner tier xenomorphs

>>213650303
do you really want 5 out of the 7 movies retconned, one of the canon ones being Romulus, retarded brown?

>>213650458
I don't give a shit. Nobody does. Don't pretend like alien has the same fanbase as star wars or lotr.

Just got to the crash scene in the first episode
I like Wendy. I'm rooting for the wheelchair girl though the most. The plot is good so far and I like the characters, I don't see what the negative hubbub is about

What was your reatrds' problem with this again?

>>213642583
That's my wife

>>213650610

>>213650610
the synth body makes her supergirl?

>>213650533
both Star Wars and LOTR have twice the amount of sequels, prequels and spin-offs.

>>213650610
mainly the entire thing

>>213650590
In episode 2 the synths undertake a serious, high stakes mission while also overdoing it with the "adult children" clownery.

>>213650610
how did she kick up sand while still falling?

This is Rings of Power levels of bad.

>>213650745
is she as strong as a zeno?

>>213650747
It's not that bad. Don't pretend. I'm so sick of this everything new is either the greatest thing ever or the worst thing ever. There's such a thing as just ok you stupid zoomer retards.

>>213650745
>what is air pressure

>>213650610
It's fine, that's the famous beach that deletes fall damage.

Ripley jumping into a furnace may not have been the ending people wanted, but it's the ending we deserved. That should've been it for this franchise.

>>213650777
considering she didn't fall apart after jumping off of a cliff, yes

this is heated feces.

>>213650864
prometheus was great

>>213650747
Rings of Power is painfully slow boring. This isn't.

The only time I felt a little bored was in episode 2, when the synths were revisiting places and sights we'd already seen in episode 1. Wendy spent too long in that broken stairwell.

>"Ah yes, you must be... Ripley Xenomorph, I presume? You can call me Boy... Boy Kavalier."
>cut to end credits
>cue Alice in Chains - Would?

>>213650802
How's my rancid cock down your throat, is that just ok for you, you fucking ape? If I ever need the opinion of a retarded moron I'll let you know, otherwise get the fuck out of my replies

>>213650047

>>213651005
>ohmhergherd this is the worst thing I ever saw in my life
Anon said for the 12th time this year. Stop acting like a woman.

>>213650864
Alien 3 is kino and im tired of pretending it isnt.

>>213651109
i mean, media is getting increasingly bad by the year. he's not wrong.

shit show

>>213650864
even if ripley killed the queen inside her, we still don't know where the space jockey ship carrying the eggs came from.
hence, the franchise continues.

>>213651169
Extended cut's my favorite film in the series. I don't watch any instalment made after it. Just like I won't watch anything after Terminator 2 or Predator 2.

>>213651218
we do know where the space jockey ship carrying the eggs came from though. didn't you watch Alien: Covenant?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55dMVUHHI3E

>>213650747
Neither of them are really that bad. This place just fucking sucks.

>>213640578 (OP)
I'm halfway though the first episode and half the cast has been bipoc. I don't think I can keep going

>>213651396
leave then bitch

I know this is extremely petty but the credits font annoys me for some reason
It really contributes to the feeling that the entire show is some random youtube sketch

>>213651412
I felt this too. 90% of the cast is brown.

>>213651420
We're here forever. I'm locked in here with you fucking apes.

feet

>>213651175
Saying this is Rings of Power tier though is just retarded. There's a difference to levels of shitty.

when do we meet the bosses of the other companies and learn about their strategies?

>>213651554
it's the dunning-kruger effect. i haven't seen romulus or rings of power, so i think this is the worst shit i've ever seen.

>>213640578 (OP)
Looks like a B movie with a safe script.

why does this show look worse in every possible way to 90s scifi channel originals with a 250 million dollar budget????????
why can NO ONE ACT
NO ONE CAN DIRECT
NO ONE CAN WORK A FUCKING CAMERA
NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO LIGHT

>>213641672
Constantinople (LV-426)

Why does the cgi look so bad?

>>213647838
The comments on this video are unreal

>>213651701
It's cliche but I blame India
It's shot in Thailand but when you look on screen you'd think it's Bangalore

>>213642825
>some people here hate it by default because it has too many blacks, gays, and one indian guy too many.
It's a dystopian future not a whites only paradise.

>>213642755
>Decanonized by both Romulus
Nigga, they directly referenced Prometheus with the black liquid.

>>213643250
This is what never touching a weight or doing anything except sitting in on barstool and doing drugs does to your body.

>>213643250
>almost gets merked twice by the xeno
>sticks his face in weird alien looking eggs
Deserves a facehugger tbqh

400 million ton spaceships just paraglide to their homebase without blowing up in the atmosphere?
And why was the search&rescue team armed?

>>213641672
>where the fuck is he?
He died from tentacle fellatio + torso birth.

>>213651218
Not elaborating on the space jockey whatsoever would be the greatest outcome for the series

Why is everyone brown except the two British who are racist?
It takes me completely out of the movie

>>213642030
>0.75 mouse shekels have been deposited into your Disney account

I mentally quit when she pulled out the weeb blade, holy fucking cringe

>>213652047
Why, because people love it? I know it looks cringe but in the context of the show it comes as a nice surprise and it makes sense, even how the couple tries to fight David, the girl going for a seductive kind of dance while the guy is pretty much agressive, also how the guy operating the machine starts dancing to represent how the psych waves are leaking into his mind. With Legion you never know what kind of weird mutant will show up and how they will portray their powers.

I've only seen the original Alien, give me the QRD of what else to watch.

>>213643153
>what's the context?
1, They both watched Ice Age (which is somehow still relevant in the far future).
2. Disney owns Ice Age (after shuttering Blue Sky lulz), so they're flexing their IPs (they also mentioned Peter Pan). It also serves as a Disney Plus catalogue advertisement.

>>213643906
No fucking way this is real...

>>213644108
>egg in a stroller
Who is this made for?

>>213651426
The greeyfont at the beginning was crap too. Looks amateur af

>>213652857
Aliens and Alien3

Then you stop there and keep a good memory of the whole thing.

>if we make half of the cast emotionally a 6 year old we don't have to write any dialogue that makes sense

>>213646112
>superpowered androids
Reminder that it's the minds of actual children uploaded in android bodies fighting random alien creatures that just happens to feature H.R. Giger's monster.
I don't know who the fuck this was made for.

>On the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, 93% of 68 critics' reviews are positive, with a critics consensus of: "Stylistically bold and scary as hell, Noah Hawley's Alien: Earth transplants the Xenomorph mythos into the television medium with its cinematic grandeur intact while staking out a unique identity of its own."[31] Metacritic, which uses a weighted average, assigned a score of 84 out of 100, based on 31 critics, indicating "universal acclaim".[32]

>James Dyer of Empire gave the first season five out of five stars, praising its exploration of "the nature of consciousness, mortality, [and] humanity", concluding that "Hawley's series is a rare prequel that serves to enrich its source material, breathing new life into a once-tired franchise".[33] For RogerEbert.com, Brian Tallerico wrote, "Tony Gilroy's work on Andor feels like a logical comparison, and that's the quality tier on which this show resides as well. ... [Hawley] delivers an 8-episode first season that somehow marries the philosophical depth that fans of Prometheus admired with the intense action and bone-chilling imagery of James Cameron's Aliens."[34]

>Angie Han of The Hollywood Reporter described it as a "heady, sprawling, occasionally unwieldy but eventually thrilling epic about personhood, hubris, and of course, the primal pleasure of watching people get absolutely rocked by space monsters", noting its production design and "new beasts with their own deliciously horrible ways of killing".[35]

I only watched the first episode. Seems fine so far. Low expectations maybe. My chief complaint is that they killed off 2 milfy titcows so early.

>>213648860
>I have a low sperm count
Again, who was this made for?

>>213652857
Aliens Special Edition and Alien^3 Assembly Cut are really the only other two movies you should watch
Alien Isolation was good if you ignore the lousy ending
Alien Romulus is kind of like if a YouTube fan series had a multimillion dollar budget - lots of memberberries, but it avoids being absolute dogshit like Prometheus
Outland is a serviceable flick if you want something in the setting but without the alien

>>213652817
From a paper trimmer! So bad

>>213649906
TV shows aren't botted like movies on RT.

>>213653169
for some reason has a tipped blade, acting like the plastic wouldn't break on one hit and the blade falls on the floor

the excuse will be they're kids but if they get praised enough they'll make it her main weapon

>>213653118
>brown liberals give favorable reviews to obvious pro-brown agitprop

>>213649838
>beating off to the white girl in cryosleep
Again, who is this show for?

>>213652817
>yeah let's send our crazy expensive prototypes out to a mystery ship which we think has hostile aliens
>we'll just arm them with a uhhhhh...
>yeah, sure, a fiskars surecut
>on the dropships, guys!

So she has been decanonized right?
Can't even remember the last Alien media that featured a queen.

Eggs just appear out of nowhere now.

>>213641672
where he belongs. in prison establishing his dominance

>>213649851
>this shit is rigged isn't it? there is no fucking way
Woah... Alien fans (AKA not the incels in this thread) like Alien content? What an astute observation. You sure showed them. I'm not sure how Disney is ever going to recover from this. I bet they're going to Alien lore any day now. Alien Earth is a bigger failure than the Alien Covenant!

>>213650610
>CGI super hero landing
How the fuck is this even "Alien" anymore?

>>213642583
WHAT HO A FOE

Lets have a montage, a useless fucking montage, lrts have the characters walk aroung for a bit.

Scientist don't kill.

Fuck you disney

>>213647746
Actually, that's exactly what happens.

>>213652857
>Aliens or Aliens:Director's Cut
>Alien 3: Assembly Cut.
Stop here for now, this is the real end of the story basically. There's a bonus video game that is really good and fits into this canon called Alien:Isolation if you are into games. Other games are good but get a lot more into non-canon Alien and Predator stuff.
Wait a year or so and then if you REALLY want to continue then watch only:
>Alien:Resurrection
This is another good point to stop forever since the entire franchise loses it's star at this point, but if you've gone too far now and depending on your tolerance for absolute shit and schlock, watch:
>AvP
>AvP2:Requiem
This was the end of the series for a very long time for the rest of us, for better or for worse. Both are terrible but they are more, which is what you wanted right? Recommend watching them drunk or something, know that these are not anywhere close to the caliber of even Resurrection, they are Friday the 13th movies now. The main conflict of the story is long over. At this point if you wanted, you could look up some of the old DC or Darkhorse comic books (I forget which one did them, but there are some good ones worth checking out only if you are into comics). Apparently there are novels as well though I've never seen a consensus reached on if any are really worth it.
*
*
*
*
Now really think if you want to continue, because once you do, there is no going back to the way things were. This is it now, you are resigned to nu-Alien/nu-Ridley/nu-Disney slop for the rest of your life, like the rest of us:

>Prometheus
Stopping here would be interesting because Prometheus is not a bad movie by any means and has a lot of defenders, for some it's their favorite or second favorite, for others it's where the franchise was ruined forever.
>Alien: Covenant
Stopping here completes the "nu-Ridley Scott Trilogy" that will never be finished. But at this point fuck it you might as well continue right?
>Alien: Romulus
>Alien: Earth

>>213653368
Lets make all the main characters like children becauseconly children believe in monsters.

Fuck you disney fuck you.

>>213653468
dumb new aliens they tried making that are uniinspired

you know someone is gonna fuck a kidbot and they'll run defense for it

or the kidbots who are all 12- or 13 at the oldest are gonna fuck and we gotta act like it's not Jew pedo slop

>>213651005
why are you sticking your dick in apes, anon?

>>213653516
>B-But they've aged in the robots

they still act like children, you cannot mature a robot brain she obviously stayed where they put her lol

>the lead of this slop is a nepo baby
every fucking time

>anons recommending Alien 3 as the stopping point
Based, I feel vindicated. Loved that film ever since the assembly cut came out.

>>213640937
What’s so perplexing about the thread? Do you need help, retard-anon?

>>213650802
>stupid zoomer retard
This show is literally made for Gen Z, you retarded shill. It looks like a fucking CW production.

>>213651038
top kek

>>213650877
So she's a Mary Sue.

>>213651218
>we still don't know where the space jockey ship carrying the eggs came from
We never needed to. The keystone of horror is the fear of the unknown. Telling us the truth behind cosmic horror ruins the mysticism behind it.

>>213648860
well to be honest in a hundred years time people's sperm count will be really low if it goes the way things are going. that just adds to the dystopia of it all

>>213652736
>Why is everyone brown except the two British who are racist?
Fiction has a basis in real life.
Also, Disney.

>>213648060
i thought i recognised him, he looks like rutger hauer from blade runner and sting from dune

>>213652817
>weeb blade
Surely, the metallic weapon can fend off acidic xeno bloods that can MELT through metal.

Aliens > Alien > Alien Resurrection > Alien 3 > Prometheus
nothing else worth thinking about.

>>213653181
they are if they have a big enough budget

>>213653794
>1000x more durable than any synthetic for no reason despite the costs even though this is supposed to keep people alive

>boy wonder excuse is he "wants a genuine conversation with a smart person" don't get me started..

>she has special powers where she can interact with all tech and control it

>she can hear frequencies the other synths cant

>her whole making is pointless, her parents never get to see her neither does family

>no parents complaining no lawsuits

>sends them out to die, which if they die would be something for the families to obv get mad about and out his entire operation

>no one has blown the whistle despite him not being a cutthroat business man even though in our world (Boeing) we kill people and that's how you stay on top

>Wyleand for some reason hasn't attacked and killed boy wonder for not playing nice which they totally wouold

>Weyland yutani is now two companies, one half being a brown Asian female lead who make no comprimasuia

its over man

>>213653253
Ridley Scott's been trying to decanonize Cameron's lore for years. He never liked Aliens turning the xenomorphs into space bugs when they should be Lovecraftian rape monsters to begin with.

>>213653931
then if we really wanna get deep in it, she's not even the sister. She just has all her memories, she's really a synth placed in the persona of the daughter

it's so stupid

you could wipe her memories and she'd just become any other synth

>>213653468
>Lets make all the main characters like children
It's literally kids uploaded into android bodies though?

>>213653663
Isn't the lead female character also a Mary Sue?

>>213653931
kek, that's true. Weyland-Yutani was basically okay with the entirety of humanity being wiped out by the Xenomorphs, but they won't kill a shoeless fag.

>>213653987
they don't mature but it's the only way the sythns can download their memories and pretend to be them

boy wonder is just a dum scam artist shill like the ai tech experts we get now making apps that ai could already do before the app was made

>>213654021
he's a scam artist preying on desperate people.

he's a fucking nepo baby, but this show was made by and fully cast by nepo babies who don't see the irony or truth in this

Apparently I wasnt ready for the shit show if this
>213641024 happens

Im only at this point and im disappointed.

>>213653931
How the fuck did this shit get a 92 on RT?

So is Fargo actually abysmal dogshit, or what? This whole show has been riding on "the Fargo guy" making it and the writing is fucking mentally retarded so far. We see Wendy jump down a comical distance to that beach and seemingly be unfazed, then when her brother is tackled off a ledge by a xenomorph she hesitates and runs away to go find a way down there? You can just jump off the ledge like we saw you could do before. This isn't a nitpick, this is really obvious. The Xenomorph's lethality is also fucking cartoonish beyond all reason one moment and completely neutered the moment he comes into contact with a named character.

>>213654071
transpeople are journalists now

>>213654019
how you like the brown ling ling they added that's the new second branch of Weyland yutani (because white Jews never run companies by themselves)

it's all so fucking stupid, look at black rock which Weyland is like

all old jews

Weyland was so narcissistic he'd literally have robots synths as his top dog staffs that look like what his kids would look like than he'd have actual employees but suddenly that lore is out the window

or his daughter who's probably just a synth why isn't she there instead of this unrealistic dei hire who would never make it this far up

>>213654104
season 1 was fantastic. the later seasons were 2020slop woke and cringe.

>>213654071
because they wrote she did

>>213654021
>it's the only way the sythns can download their memories and pretend to be them
Why is this even a thing in the Alien universe now? This felt like a completely different IP that just happened to feature xenos because they had low confidence in it doing well on its own, so they cobbled it with another franchise to salvage it. It's like a forgettable Syfy production given a second chance.

After two episodes I don't think I'll even watch another show any of these actors are in.

>>213654171
because they don't know how to create in the alien universe

they cant create they're creatively bankrupt

hence they shitty eye parasite that a 14 yo could come up with basic knowledge you get in science class lol

or the leeches that are wose than are real life leeches (immobile and like most parasite and viruses that kill you they wouldn't succeed in the food chain really, they are just asking to be eaten and it'd be a priority for other things to kill them. Unless everything on their planet was dinosaur big, which would mean they COULDNT BREATHE OUR AIR IT DOESNT HAVE ENOUGH- ugh whatever. They could have got ronakes hack wannabe smart ass and he'd do a better job)

I've seen better from fan made films with a 20k sci-fi budget

>>213654071
Review bots. They're a dead giveaway.

>>213654242
>along with them having no scientific use, we have blood thinners pretty well down they're not good for killing

>the parasite wouldn't fool a primate and we have better parasites on planet earth that are more compatible with our DNA to work with, but okay..

it seriously makes no sense and it's sad, because the source material alien had everything down from the cat probably having an egg in it, that's why it wasn't attacked, molting, how they worked how long they lived, how they go into hibernation

the only thing the new show got that impressed me was how they contained the xeno, which would trick it into thinking its hibernating


which only serves to piss me off

they know the lore, they know the bar and they still shoot below it as a fuck you in every way then shoot their crappy dei idealoigies in it. Be dammed if it makes no sense, nor is it accurate to the source material world

>>213640578 (OP)
Finna boutta watch this bad boy later. I don’t give a fuck if it’s pozzed or shit either (of course I’m streaming it illegally)

>>213654171
>This felt like a completely different IP
Yeah, I got that impression too
What wasn't completely unrelated was basically 1:1 ripped from Alien

>>213654285
review bots/ it becomes a political war

just like with the boys, Superman, and the fantastic flop

rotten tomatoes has become a place to have political wars and the professional reviews are all paid and bought for

look at how critical those same professional reviewers are on small movies that don't pay them or would risk them getting blacklisted from their bullshit job for being 'problematic and fringe right'

>>213654395
you could probably destroy a lot of these professional reviewers career if you got them in a corner and showed how they turn a blind eye for tropes in some films but not others

>>213654473
>"you can't be racist against white people!"
the cognitive dissonance with those people is crazy.

Just finished ep02. The whole kids' plot is the dumbest shit ever, goddamn. Like >>213652817
said the fucking weeb blade is peak cringe, jesus it's a fucking child inside a terminator body, if that wasn't stupid enough someone gave that kid a small sword. She even runs around wet stairs, with a fucking blade in her hand. What can go wrong?

Alien went from weird sexual violence to +3 kids only, small parts choking hazard.

>>213654610
The fuck is a bog standard steel knife going to do against a space bug with highly corrosive acid?

>>213654811
Anon that's a paper cutter, nothing can be sharper in this universe. Also she watched Ice Age one million times and cuts her hair just like Amelie Poulain, there is no stopping that girl.

>>213654610
she effortlessly ripped it off of a paper cutter.

>>213654932
ah yes the all formidable 2 screws the size of (your) penis

I liked the sets.

>>213654932
And then glued to her back because her ass is magnetic or something.

>>213654996
that end of the industry is still cutthroat, it needs work and has become jannified but it is diffrently actually the best the left can do

I miss Harveys rapist ass

the amount of white roastie seething in this thread is delicious

>>213655162
trans women aren't women, even if they say on reddit they are.

do not call the tourists women

>>213643906
>le black scientits trope again
They need to stop with that shit already. In my entire life I have never seen a single genius level blackazoid.

>>213645017
I don't want 'muh deep character building and drama', I want Gung ho soldiers kicking alien butt along with some female eye candy now and again.

Captcha: kinopix

>>213643906
I'm gonna call this guy Splinter from now on

>>213655334
you know they think they did a good job by not saying he was a syth

ok who's this cutie and why does she only have like 20 seconds of screentime?