Thread 213801096

There are few things I care about less than coffee. I have two big cups every morning: light and sweet, preferably in cardboard cup. Any bodega will do. I don’t want to wait for my coffee. I don’t want some man-bun, Mumford and Son motherfucker to get it for me. I like good coffee but I don’t want to wait for it, and I don’t want it with the cast of Friends. It’s a beverage; it’s not a lifestyle.

>>213801096 (OP)
Whoa this is badass.

>>213801096 (OP)
I don't care about coffee, it makes me shart

Have one coffee. Have two.

>>213801096 (OP)
>I like good coffee but I don’t want to wait for it
So he liked instant coffee?

He overcompensated with his tough guy act because deep down he knew that he had a very womanly job

>>213801096 (OP)
>light and sweet
what a fuckin sissy

He's dead. Leave him be.

>>213801096 (OP)
Caffeine is a drug. This guy shows all signs of addictive personality disorder

>>213801096 (OP)
>preferably in cardboard cup

>>213801432
No shit. He was a coke addict and alcoholic. He wrote about it all the time.

There are few things I care about more than getting cucked. My wife has two big cocks every morning: long and thick, preferably not in a condom. Any man will do. She doesn't want to wait for her cock. She doesn't want some me looking motherfucker to give it to her. She likes good dick but she doesn't want to wait for it, and she won't even wait for them to turn 18. It’s cucking; I'm going to end my life.

Coffee is part of my life.

That’s great, but remember when the women who he was psychotically obsessed with cucked him with a teenager and then told him she didn’t give a fuck about him?

>>213801697
Pepperidge Farms remembers.

There are few things I *SHLURP* on more than coffee. I have fifteen big *GULP* *GULP *GULPS* every morning: black and rich, preferably in Gale's mug. Any meth lab will do.

COOKING IS FUCKING HARDCORE BITCH

Guy killed himself but everyone looks up to him as a bad ass. It’s so odd

did bourdain have any signature dishes? are there any notable dishes of him cooking? was he really that great of a chef or did he just mosey his way into getting book/tv deals?

>>213801697
He killed himself right after she gloated

>>213801944
FUCK

>>213801096 (OP)
This guy has no reality to ground his opinions. I want you to imagine a world where coffee is still an obscure tribal drink constrained to the remote parts of ethiopia or yemen. He'd fucking worship it like a sacred ritual.

>>213801697
He also paid the kid $700k

Don't care about coffee in a local restaurant tonight. Get the light and sweet. Prefer a cardboard cup at 4 o'clock in a mostly empty bar. Go to a bodega you've never been. Refuse to wait for a coffee with someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the coffee good. Eat a man-bun. Have a coffee. Have two. Be open to a world where a Mumford and Son motherfucker may get your coffee for you, but don't wait for it anyways. Drink fast. Don't wait for it. Don't check in on the cast of Friends. Check in on your beverage. It's not a lifestyle.

>>213801989
His mother (née Sacksman) was an editor for the New York Times and promoted him. Look it up.

>>213801989
We need to return to monke.

>>213801096 (OP)
I actually starting watching Parts Unknown as they uploaded everything to youtube. I hate to say it's fucking kino without or without AB.

>waiting 3 minutes for a barista to make a fresh cup of coffee
:(
>flying for 14 hours to some 3rd world shithole to eat streetfood
:O

what was his problem?

>>213802146
Flavornation came out on top in the end.

>>213801096 (OP)
>Drinks 2 cups of sugar and cream with coffee flavoring

>>213802146
>Lurch looking motherfucker.

>>213801096 (OP)
There are few things I care about less than coffee. This is how many I have, how I like them, what I like to drink them in, where I like to purchase them, who I don't want to serve them, and how fast I like to be served.

>he ate "sheep testicles in Morocco, ant eggs in Puebla, Mexico, a raw seal eyeball as part of a traditional Inuit seal hunt, and an entire cobra—beating heart, blood, bile, and meat—in Vietnam". Bourdain was quoted as saying that a Chicken McNugget was the most disgusting thing he ever ate

He ate some parasites and they rewired the host's behavior, driving him into subconsciously optimizing his environment to make it suitable for the propagation of said parasite (ie spread pro third world immigration, pro cultural relativism propaganda). It's really quite brilliant.

>>213801989
Everyday while eating lunch at my office job I see people like this , doom scrolling and shoving food into their mouths ...grim

>>213801989
Mortadella sandwiches

>>213801337
he overcompensated with his tough guy act because he was a fucking Jew therefore everything about his psychology was naturally feminine brained and neurotic

>>213801428
OK.

>>213801096 (OP)
hes absolutely right about coffeefags
but hes still lame as fuck

I used to worship this guy. And now I just found out he might've been a neonazi.

Every left leaning person I ever knew worshiped the ground this asshole walked on. I always found him incredibly pretentious.

>>213801697
>>213802050
Is this true

Food elitism is more embarrassing than being a My Little Pony fan.

I like when people treat above average chefs like demigods and the chefs treat them like kindergarteners with barely masked condescension

>>213802433
>Mortadella sandwiches
delicious

>>213801096 (OP)
I know he's up there looking down on us (swinging from a rope)

>>213802919
>Eat shit. Eat poo.

>>213802919
>Visits small town establishments
>Genially greets the owners and staff
>Actively interested in their dishes
>Barely any pretension in his assessments
>World makes fun of him because he's a fat guy with a goofy haircut
Physiognomy is real

>>213801096 (OP)
>I don't care about coffee
>but I have to drink it in the most particular "Psh, I'm too good to care about coffee" nonchalant hipster manner possible, which of course involves buying it from a heckin' wholesome immigrant-owned bodega
If he really didn't care, he'd just buy the cheapest coffee can from WalMart and make it at home.

>>213803211
>Here's my longwinded opinion on that thing I don't care about at all.

>>213801096 (OP)
>I like good coffee
>light and sweet

>>213801096 (OP)
It's just food. Not a lifestyle.
He should have a negroni. Have 2. Then kill himself. Oh wait....

Watch your partner blow a negroni. Watch her blow two.

I don't know why you would kill yourself over a woman, especially when you are wealthy enough to hop down to Brazil for a weekend on a whim and bury yourself in ass and pussy. I could see if you were dating the most beautiful top tier woman on Earth, but we're talking Asia Argento. I could also see if you were his age and alone with no kids or family to speak of so that banging 20 year old Brazilian girls 2 at a time might be depressing, but that wasn't the case either.

>>213802475
>He fell for the noble savage meme and ate an unwashed anus
Oof

>>213801428
facts

>>213801550
And heroin, that was his favorite

there is only one thing i care less about than french fagg offing himself

unfunny canadian comedian offing himself


ok i lied. mcdonalds killing himself filled my heart with warmth and childlike joy so i do care about it

just made a few acquisitions what we thinking bros

>>213801096 (OP)
sounds like he does care about coffee. otherwise he wouldn't drink it.

>>213801278
that's usually if you put cream in it. have it black. what, you expected some racial joke? too bad!

>>213801096 (OP)
Crazy how Epstein killed himself twice.

>>213801096 (OP)
>There are few things I care about less than coffee. I have two big cups every morning

>>213801964
so did hunter s thompson.

>>213801096 (OP)
>There are few things I care about less than coffee.
>less
Did the 'I could care less' Mexicans rot actual native speaker minds as well? How does this happen to a language?

>>213801697
no. I don't. you should mention it a couple billion more times. because you're an obsessed faggot, who cares deeply about celebrity gossip and personal lives like a woman.

>>213804618
that's correct the way he phrased it. sounds like your the ESL.

>>213804695
>sounds like your the ESL.

>>213804533

i always drink coffee black. in times past, i would have a colossal shit nearly everyday, like clockwork, after my first cup.

> Anthony, I gotta ask a question, why do you hate me so much brother? Is it because you went to a fancy culinary school and I didn't? I hear you're the only one in class who did most of his cooking with a spoon and a Bic lighter.
Fieri won

>>213801096 (OP)
Cared enough about coffee to write this gay rant.

>>213804618
You are a braindead ESL faggot. KYS chink

>>213802162
Fuck, beat me to it.

>>213801096 (OP)
>Have 2 big cups of something I care so little about every day

>>213801428
Stop busting his balls?

>>213804408

You know what they say, speak ill of the dead

>>213801096 (OP)
Epsteins bodydouble for the morgue